Q about how long TTC without help at our age (over35)

KirstenAlecia · January 2014

Since it has been put in our heads that TTC after the age of 35 is harder, is the amount of time you try to go it on your own with out going in to the DR for tests and treatments less than the amount of time for say a 27 year old? My girlfriend who was in her fairly early 20s trying to conceive was told to try for a year. Of coarse she was told to keep track of her cycle and all that good stuff. But since time is more of a concern for us ladies who are not "OLD" but past 35….please tell me that i won't walk into the Doc and be told come back in a year……

And just for the record i have been keeping track of my cycles for more than 6 months (had one REALLY wonky 45 day cycle and went right back to norm after the worst period EVER…..stress or change in habits i believe to be the culprit left my graveyard shift job, not sure if that throws it all off) Started temping last month and of coarse like many…..i was beyond confused and it made so sense to me!

Anyway sorry so wordy. but I'm starting to consider a trip to the DR in the next few months. I think i spend a lot of time reading the trails and tribulations of the baby journey of you beautiful ladies and i feel for so many of you gals. I really think my husband will be so sad if he never is a father and don't want to rob him of that. I just see the journey it can be and i wonder if anyone here would say "I wish i didnt try on our own for so long….."

Thank you for reading….

2ndGeneration · January 2014

I'm 42 and when we started TTC a year ago, I went in for a 'pre-conception visit'. I discussed it with the midwife, so it was 'on the record' that we were ttc.

I was planning to wait no more than 3 months, I'm 42. I did concieve though in two cycles (m/c though) and then again in 2 cycles (m/c again) at which point the OB said I should see an RE because I have no more time!

So I would not wait longer than 3 months or so to make an appt.

HeathernSteven · January 2014

no longer then 6 months! I would also recommend if you can skip the OB and go straight to an RE do so. Otherwise get to the OB ASAP and get the referral to the RE.

The difference is OB catch babies and help you through pregnancy - they don't know how to make babies. RE know how to make babies, understand the tests are more attentive to the details. You want the RE!

best of luck

[Deleted User] · January 2014

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lkquarto · January 2014

My husband and I decided to try for a baby when I was 36. I decided to read 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' first before visiting doc. We got pg in two cycles and now have a beautiful 5 month old girl. This book really helped. We're going to try for another in a year or so (I'll be 38 or 39) and I will be using the TCofYF book again. But I think if we hadn't conceived after 2 cycles, I prob would have visited the doc around month 5 or 6 of trying. I think a year is a bit long to keep trying with no success. Go with your instincts. Good luck!

KirstenAlecia · January 2014

Thank you girls! Please excuse my ignorance…What is an RE?

2ndGeneration · January 2014

That is a Reproductive Endocrinologist. I don't really know what endocrines are, lol, but these docs specalize in getting us pregnant, vs ob's who specalize in established pregnancies and births.

archi35 · January 2014

I'd go as soon as you want to get general conversations going. 6 months was my limit before needing to start more testing.

Lady2010 · January 2014

I agree with the above posters - I would go as soon as you can to start the process. I was told when we first started to come back if we weren't pregnant and if I was getting anxious after 6 mos (I was a few months shy of 35 then). We waited simply because life got in the way - my husband had surgery, I started a new job, etc. When we finally did go, my doctor said that was fine we waited but in retrospect I wish we hadn't waited until 16 months to go see the RE.

The general guidance I have heard from drs and read: under 35 - if not pregnant after 12 mos, see an RE, if over 35 then after 6 mos. I have heard that over 40 either right away or after 3 mos.

Either way I agree with PP - make the appointment as soon as you can. Good luck!!!

amandaleigh1 · January 2014

I went to the RE after 6 months. That is standard medical advice for the over 35 set. I for one knew I had had good timing and was ovulating, so having had 6 real tries to get pregnant and not being successful, I was pretty convinced something was amiss (and it was).

annalisel · January 2014

Don't let doctors put you off or make you feel like you are being anxious if you are over 35 and have been trying for 6 months. If there is a problem there's a much better chance they can help you get pregnant if you are 35 rather than 38, and better at 38 than 40+. 3-4 cycles is all I'd wait at 40.

heathereb23 · January 2014

My next annual checkup with my OBGYN is in May, and if I'm not pregnant by then we will have tried for 5 cycles, so I will be waving the red flag at that point. I will be 36 by then.

Areej76 · January 2014

Hiya! Im 37, and after 2 months of TTC, I promptly took myself and my husband to an RE. Time, for once, is not my friend. And my RE agreed

heathereb23 · January 2014

Areej, what did the RE say when you went in? Assuming they ran some tests, but if everything was ok (not sure of your story) did they encourage you to keep trying naturally for a few more months? I want to be pregnant yesterday, as I'm sure everyone here does. Hate the idea of wasting 6 months trying on our own first.

KirstenAlecia · January 2014

I think if i go 2 more cycles i will get myself to an RE then…I told my hubby at his next physical to tell his dr we are trying to get PG. They are around to run some test on him that will make it impossible for us to conceive for 2-3 months on his end…..so i want them to hake sure his BP meds are not getting in the way. I read that some do and his prescription i have read mixed reviews.

Areej76 · January 2014

Hi Heather!

My situation might be different because I am paying out of pocket. I went in and told the RE we would like to have a baby and I want the "surest" way to get there. He immediately said IVF. I asked him about IUI because I kind of wanted to try that, but then her reminded me that I asked for the "fastest" and "surest" way. At my age, he said, the chances of conceiving naturally at any given month is 15%. With IVF it shoots to 50% and with PDG with IVF it shoots up to 70%. So I said let's do it! The did all sorts of tests to make sure that there was nothing "blocking" our way and all is good! Now, had I wanted to go with insurance, after the age of 35, and RE will tell you try for 6 months. Anything over 6 months you are considered infertile. THEN the fun of testing and several different ways to get pregnant begins. I think you go through the whole different methods such as IUI and what not before they move you on to IVF. Mind you I did not have an INFERTILE diagnosis. I just chose to pay out of pocket and this makes me take control of what I want. From what I've been reading on theses forums and others, IVF is usually out of pocket and rarely covered by insurance. My honest opinion?? If you are above the age of 35 go straight to IVF. Good Luck!

doubleuxyz · January 2014

Helpful info here. I just turned 41 and we are now TTC.

Radiantly · January 2014

I am in your boat too! I'm 36 and been TTC since my honeymoon last August. First few months, didn't temp, didn't have that much sex really. But the last 3 months have been temping and seems to be very normal cycle, normal O. In the last 2 months, O temp shift around day 15 to 19, LP has been estimated 13 days. My therapist, who is in her 70s, who has seen MANY women in their 30s and 40s and especially anxious types (I live in NYC!) said to me to wait a year. She said she has seen so many women give up at the 6 month mark and then get BFP in that second 6 month.

So this month I'm going to try more often, I have 2 friends that said they had sex 5 or 6 days in a row and it worked. I'm starting to get that more dissapointed feeling each month, but still am feeling hopeful, and I'm not making an appt with an RE until i get closer to the year mark.

Also I am heartened by the Atlantic magazine article that basically says you can wait until 40 to start feeling time pressure. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/ I'm not sure if this has been discussed on the blog back in July when it came out.

i'll do an intro at some point (i have been lurking for a while but just finally opened my account so i don't think i can post an intro just yet.

happy to be in this forum, i was looking at the main TTC one for a while and it was full of meanies (and youngies). this forum seems to be a bit more down to earth. we are earth MAMAs - i am working on visualizing the energy of the baby coming into me. I am eating very well, lots of homemade broths with chicken feet for gelatin, lots of good fats.

chucktgirl · January 2014

See an RE, NOW. Also, start reading up on TTC >35. You will learn a lot and better prepare yourself to make your journey less stressed. Good luck!

KirstenAlecia · January 2014

Thanks ladies. I will be considering an appt with an RE very soon I think.

Q about how long TTC without help at our age (over35)

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