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January 2014 Moms
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STM+: Advice for getting your sexy back!

rowanthefrogrowanthefrog member
in January 2014 Moms
I've been asked to give a talk to a group of postpartum women about getting your groove back on after baby. I have some ideas but I would love to hear some different perspectives. Feel free to post here or PM me if you feel more comfortable with that.

Were you ready to be intimate as soon as the doc cleared you or did it take you a long time? If it took you a longer time, did you and DH share intimacy in other ways? Did you talk about what was going on? What are things that helped you feel sexy again? Please share as much as you feel comfortable sharing!

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M/c #1 - 10/30/07 - 5w3d, DS1 - born at 36w, M/c#2 - 12/7/09 - 5w, M/c #3 - 1/13/10 - 4w6d, 
M/c #4 - 3/16/10 - 5w1d, DS2 -  born via VBAC at 40w3d, M/c#5 - 11/5/12 - 7w2d
BFP #8 - 5/5/13- Looks like a sticky one! DS3 - born via epi-free VBAC at 39w1d

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Re: STM+: Advice for getting your sexy back!

  • UnknownUnknown
    edited January 2014
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  • mrsjennimrsjenni member
    Ditto the lubrication and going slow the first few times.  Sex can be painful when you start up again, and those 2 things (AND WINE) helped a ton.  While waiting for the 6 week period (or as close as we could get to it... oops), we'd always fool around a bit with make out sessions and other fun things, but honestly I pretty much waited until I was ready for sex before doing much of anything.  Sleep always beat out fooling around for me in the beginning.  It's not a tough choice. ;)
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    Carter Robert 7.18.08 | Brynn Sophia 5.24.10 | Reid Joseph 9.10.12 | Emerson Mae 1.27.14

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  • ArrgcrArrgcr member
    We didn't have problems with the physical act of sex at all once cleared. I however had horrible body image issues afterwards. Call it vain, but I totally changed my hair by getting a bob and got my nails done. I really did feel so much better afterwards. I also bought me a new outfit and that helped me take the plunge by feeling like I really looked good. Of course my husband could have cared less but it was more for me. DS was asleep in his crib in his room when we went for it. Getting myself together like that helped me dive in and after that it was back to second nature. I saw he had no issue with my fluffy lumps and he still wanted me for who I was. I just needed that oomph from feeling like I looked pretty to do it once. After that, I didn't feel I needed that and felt silly, but without those things it would have been hard to do it the first time.
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  • MrsGraham06MrsGraham06 member
    It helped me to not plan it. We did wait until the OB cleared me, which I'm glad about. After DS2, she told me I had a yeast infection.

    Anyway...I knew the 1st time after was going to be not so smooth, so we got some lube, and went really slowly. We waited until I was ready, and initiated things. I think we waited at least another week to do it again. It took several times before things were back to EXCITING!

    I like the idea of getting hair done, nails, new outfit...I found it important for ME to feel ready.
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    DS1 born 11/3/06   *   DS2 born 3/29/08   *   DD born 3/15/11  

    Scarlett Mae born 1/14/14                         Our family is now complete!

      

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