Toddler Leash

theimpossibleastronaut · January 2014

My twin brother used to run away and hide in the clothes racks in department stores. I am pretty sure my mom would have loved having these things to keep us in line. If we need to, we will definitely use one.

Monkeybabe · January 2014

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

If we were in a place super crowded and Isla wasn't listening, I'd do it. Isla wanders too much and it scares me. I wouldn't leash her any time we went out but use it to avoid her getting lost. My mom leashed one of my brothers. He would never stop trying to leave us. There were four of us so she couldn't really focus all of her attention on him. He hated it so much he stopped trying to run ahead.

There are four kids in my family and only one of us was leashed. We were all super close in age and the kid right above me in age would bolt and generally got herself into trouble, so my mom leashed her so she didn't have to leave the rest of us behind to catch her.

colliebabe · January 2014

SpaceGirlSpiff said:
.

mbenit4 said:

colliebabe said:

Also, what is the difference between parents who strap their kid in a stroller so they don't have to pay attention to them and parents who use a leash to do the same?
Who knew this is why people use strollers? Wow.

I dont think she was saying that's why SHE believes people use strollers... pretty sure she was just trying to make the point that the same COULD be said about strollers...but it isnt.

No one side eyes strollers, but they both serve the same function...and could be described in this way by a judgymcjudgerson

Yes, exactly. And like I said, if "getting in the way" is the problem with the leash, than strollers should be even worse (according to people who have time to judge these things.)

colliebabe · January 2014

Regal Mama said:
This is what I wore.

Bonus: we used it all the time to play horse and cart when we got older.

I was also leashed as a child, with one of those wrist leashes at Disney.

(And OMG somehow I beat the odds! I learned to listen to my parents and actually turned out to be a fully functional adult! ) <---sarcasm*

*not directed at Regal

ASmallWonder · January 2014

I'm not a fan. I think they are a shortcut to teaching your kid how to behave properly and paying enough attention to your kid to enforce proper behavior. But, let's be honest, some kids are easier to teach than others. And if you've got one of those, and you're in the process of teaching, and using the leash with that in mind, then I will do my best to remind myself to not side-eye you, because you wouldn't deserve the side-eye.

But in the end, who the **** cares about my opinion on raising kids other than my husband?

mbenit4 said:

TiffanyBerry said:

I'm not a fan. I think they are a shortcut to teaching your kid how to behave properly and paying enough attention to your kid to enforce proper behavior. But, let's be honest, some kids are easier to teach than others. And if you've got one of those, and you're in the process of teaching, and using the leash with that in mind, then I will do my best to remind myself to not side-eye you, because you wouldn't deserve the side-eye.

But in the end, who the **** cares about my opinion on raising kids other than my husband?

Says the poster with one child. Sorry, but head to a children's museum with 3 kids under 4. You'll change your tune. It's a safety issue. Not a "teaching my child to behave" issue.
Woah, LoL. Poor people with one kid.

No one's shitting on people with 1 kid but the fact is that two hands are more able to handle one child than two children. You CAN'T change a diaper and hold an older child at the same time (waits for someone to bust in here all "Oh yeah?")

Manateearmz · January 2014

I'll do whatever it takes to harness my little kraken. I've never had the chance to use a leash, but it's not because I wouldn't.

Manateearmz · January 2014

All of those that think that having multiple children in public places is easier than having only one raise your hand.

Anyone?

Nobody?

Ok, didn't think so. Move along.

NotSharknado · January 2014

So crate training is out of the question? Just kidding. Kind of.

thetheisens · January 2014

Fuck the leash haters, I have said as much IRL to people who give me shit about mine. I have a two year old and a new born, the leash makes parking lots safe for us. I would probably never leave the house if I didn't have one. Ds actually really like it, it's a lion and he likes me to carry his "tail". It was great at the zoo.

thetheisens · January 2014

burp

ASmallWonder · January 2014

mbenit4 said:

mbenit4 said:

TiffanyBerry said:

I'm not a fan. I think they are a shortcut to teaching your kid how to behave properly and paying enough attention to your kid to enforce proper behavior. But, let's be honest, some kids are easier to teach than others. And if you've got one of those, and you're in the process of teaching, and using the leash with that in mind, then I will do my best to remind myself to not side-eye you, because you wouldn't deserve the side-eye.

But in the end, who the **** cares about my opinion on raising kids other than my husband?

Says the poster with one child. Sorry, but head to a children's museum with 3 kids under 4. You'll change your tune. It's a safety issue. Not a "teaching my child to behave" issue.
Woah, LoL. Poor people with one kid.

No one's shitting on people with 1 kid but the fact is that two hands are more able to handle one child than two children. You CAN'T change a diaper and hold an older child at the same time (waits for someone to bust in here all "Oh yeah?")

--------------------------- I usually change diapers in the bathroom, this was never a concern.

Is it so impossible for you to accept that what you've experienced isn't what everyone experiences? FTR the bathroom at our zoo has no door so when I'm changing the baby, my son can peace out if he wants.

Manateearmz · January 2014

LexiLupin said:

Manateearmz said:

All of those that think that having multiple children in public places is easier than having only one raise your hand.

Anyone?

Nobody?

Ok, didn't think so. Move along.

Well if you space them apart far enough that the older one can watch the little one while you sneak off and get drunk...

:: reconsiders OAD status ::

Roughly 3 or 4 years apart should be good for this, right? I figure we can have practice runs using some of her baby dolls.

TiffanyBerry · January 2014

I Heart The 80s said:

TiffanyBerry said:

I'm not a fan. I think they are a shortcut to teaching your kid how to behave properly and paying enough attention to your kid to enforce proper behavior. But, let's be honest, some kids are easier to teach than others. And if you've got one of those, and you're in the process of teaching, and using the leash with that in mind, then I will do my best to remind myself to not side-eye you, because you wouldn't deserve the side-eye.

But in the end, who the **** cares about my opinion on raising kids other than my husband?

Says the poster with one child. Sorry, but head to a children's museum with 3 kids under 4. You'll change your tune. It's a safety issue. Not a "teaching my child to behave" issue.

That was really kind of my point - I can judge, but anyone (including myself) who judges does so from a biased position. I mean, I have friends with three kids, and they don't use leashes - ever - and their kids are great in public. So, by that example, I'd say it doesn't have to be a safety issue and can be a "discipline" issue. But they have kids like mine - ones who don't have a hard time with these sorts of "don't run away from me" rule. And, as I said, not all kids are that way.

(FWIW, I do care for another kid two days a week, and they can goad each other into running. I still don't use leashes, even at the aquarium or zoo or grocery store or anywhere else. Yeah, it's a freakin' PITA sometimes, but very rarely, and over the months we've been together, it's happened less and less frequently. So I do think there is a teaching aspect. But again, that's for *these two kids*.)

ETA: Yeah, I KNOW that having that second kid for only two days a week isn't an eyelash on having them full time. But it's not like I huddle ourselves in our house - we go out most of the days that other kid is here. So, do I know what it's like to have two kids? No. Do I know what it's like to be responsible for two kids out and about without any help? I have a good novice understanding.

ETA2 (now that DD's in bed): But my real point, at the end, is who cares what people like me think? If it's something you feel is appropriate, great. If I'm going to be a judgemental poopy head about it, it doesn't matter one flippin' bit.

ETA3, since I'm feeling all judged and stuff (and I'm not going to say you're wrong about that): We all have stuff we judge other people on that we shouldn't. This is one of mine that I'm almost over, but not yet. Oh well. I can't fix all my bad shite in a day (or a year, or - most likely - in a lifetime). But don't stay home because I (and all the other judgers) haven't gotten over their shite.

thetheisens · January 2014

My 2 year old is actually very well behaved and disciplined, he holds my hand and doesn't run away, BUT he is only two and I doubt his cognitive ability to fully understand how dangerous it would be to run after a kitty he was excited to see across the street, and my ability to chase him with baby carrier. I don't think his impulse control is that great yet, he's two, no amount of discipline can change that.

LoveActually4 · January 2014

I just don't see the argument here. It's a safety issue, I'm not going to take a chance that my kid will run away in public and get lost/hurt/kidnapped/hurt someone else.

Sorry if he clotheslines you with his leash but I'm trying to prevent him from doing greater harm to himself or others.

Safety trumps all.

ASmallWonder · January 2014

mbenit4 said:

mbenit4 said:

They wouldn't listen to you not to open the door? What if you were in there using the bathroom yourself? Would they open it?

Now that sounds like a listening issue and not a safety issue to me.
A toddler not listening?!? Sounds like bad parenting right there. Not ya know, a toddler being a toddler. Let's risk losing a kid at the zoo so we can teach a valuable listening lesson.
I'm talking about being in a bathroom stall here long enough to chnage a diaper or as PP said wipe some ass. Not talking about walking around a zoo. I don't care if people want to harness their kid.

There are bathrooms at zoos. And malls. And numerous other public places where a 2 year old darting off would be bad.

And clearly you do. You got extremely lucky with your children, or you are drunk all day and in complete denial of their actual actions. The leash gave my 18 month old the freedom to roam a little and still gave me the physical ability to reel him in if needed. Win-win.

No shit Sherlock. The scenario I was speaking to was being in a stall long enough for someone to use it. You can't teach your kid not to open the stall?! So you needed a leash in a bathroom stall? Really? Cause that was what I was talking about here. If your ass would go back and read. What the fuck are you talking about drunk? Maybe you should back off the alcohol your damn self if you need a leash in a bathroom stall.

Ok genuine question. Have your children learned everything you've taught them the first time you taught them? Here's your scenario: It is your FIRST time in a public bathroom since having a new baby. Your oldest starts to wander toward the door (and in my my place the changer is in the area with the sinks so walking toward to the door is the literal door to the outside, aka the entire zoo). You sternly say stop. Kid keeps on keeping on. I mean really - do you just go to places and practice so that when it's real they "behave?" Maybe your kid DOES listen the first time. You're very lucky. I would argue that 99.99% of children (even those who are "well behaved") take a little bit to learn what's expected of them.

ASmallWonder · January 2014

mbenit4 said:

elmoali said:

mbenit4 said:

mbenit4 said:

They wouldn't listen to you not to open the door? What if you were in there using the bathroom yourself? Would they open it?

Now that sounds like a listening issue and not a safety issue to me.
A toddler not listening?!? Sounds like bad parenting right there. Not ya know, a toddler being a toddler. Let's risk losing a kid at the zoo so we can teach a valuable listening lesson.
I'm talking about being in a bathroom stall here long enough to chnage a diaper or as PP said wipe some ass. Not talking about walking around a zoo. I don't care if people want to harness their kid.

There are bathrooms at zoos. And malls. And numerous other public places where a 2 year old darting off would be bad.

And clearly you do. You got extremely lucky with your children, or you are drunk all day and in complete denial of their actual actions. The leash gave my 18 month old the freedom to roam a little and still gave me the physical ability to reel him in if needed. Win-win.

No shit Sherlock. The scenario I was speaking to was being in a stall long enough for someone to use it. You can't teach your kid not to open the stall?! So you needed a leash in a bathroom stall? Really? Cause that was what I was talking about here. If your ass would go back and read. What the fuck are you talking about drunk? Maybe you should back off the alcohol your damn self if you need a leash in a bathroom stall.

Ok genuine question. Have your children learned everything you've taught them the first time you taught them? Here's your scenario: It is your FIRST time in a public bathroom since having a new baby. Your oldest starts to wander toward the door (and in my my place the changer is in the area with the sinks so walking toward to the door is the literal door to the outside, aka the entire zoo). You sternly say stop. Kid keeps on keeping on. I mean really - do you just go to places and practice so that when it's real they "behave?" Maybe your kid DOES listen the first time. You're very lucky. I would argue that 99.99% of children (even those who are "well behaved") take a little bit to learn what's expected of them.

Of course they do. Her children are perfect and have never done anything wrong in their life.

Said you and only you.

You answered her but not me. I honestly want to know. What kind of learning curve do your kids have because you seem to think they differ from every other kid who needs practice to master appropriate behaviors.

ASmallWonder · January 2014

fredalina said:

To be fair, sort of, Mbenny has 2 kids ( and a step kid IIRC) but the older kid/step kid is/are more than the typical spacing older than the youngest. A 5 year old is more likely to listen the first time when you say no (and already understand better why walking out the door is a bad idea) than an 18 month old is. She just doesn't see things she didn't experience, and very likely she didn't experience that with her kids, partially because of their age gap.

My issue isn't at all that she didn't experience it but more that she adamantly refuses to acknowledge that her life experiences aren't the same as everyone else's and that she time and again strongly implies that if our kids aren't exactly like hers, we're doing something wrong. She doesn't know the "right" way to parent two young children if she never HAD two young children.

mammersoh · January 2014

Am I the only one who had a 2/3 year old that had opened the bathroom door while I was using it, causing me the flash my goods to everyone walking by the stall? He also liked to try to climb under the door to escape, or peek his head under the one next to us to say hi to the person on the other side. Oh what I would have done for a leash.

It wasn't a listening problem. It was him being a typical toddler who thought doing shit when I said no was hysterical. He grew out of it a few months later. All kids are different, my ds2 would never think to leave the stall without me. DS1

ASmallWonder · January 2014

@mbenit4 God, you're dense. Do you think other people don't try speaking to their children with their expectations? If you say that to your kid and they listen the first time and every time after that, yes, that's luck. Your voice doesn't have magical powers that other mothers lack. We're not dense. We do try, you know.
My mother had a kid like yours. Me. I listened because that was my personality. A rule follower. My kid is typical. I, along with your child, am not.

Unknown · January 2014

This content has been removed.

RondackHiker · January 2014

pobrecita said:

TiffanyBerry said:

ETA3, since I'm feeling all judged and stuff (and I'm not going to say you're wrong about that): We all have stuff we judge other people on that we shouldn't. This is one of mine that I'm almost over, but not yet. Oh well. I can't fix all my bad shite in a day (or a year, or - most likely - in a lifetime). But don't stay home because I (and all the other judgers) haven't gotten over their shite.

Oh, you're feeling judged? El oh el.

Yeah, the whole "I feel judged for being a judger" thing makes me roll my eyes.

shadypines · January 2014

shadypines · January 2014

Smootchy · January 2014

Helenahhandbasket · January 2014

OK. So this got weird.

Thanks for all of the responses-- really! I feel a lot better about trying out the backpack leash. I do think she will like it-- she's a really active and willful little girl, but she has a bit of a speech and cognitive delay and doesn't always (almost never, actually) listen. She's in therapy 2x a week (and has been for a few months) so ideally, we won't need to use the leash all the time or for much longer.

I will say that BK (before kids) I was a huge side eyer. Most, if not all of my side eyeing has gone completly around the window when I gave birth, along with my intact vagina. TMI?

Anyway, unfortunately, this morning DD woke up with a 102 fever-- so hopefully she's feeling well enough by Saturday for us to go to the aquarium!

shadypines · January 2014

shadypines · January 2014

Helenahhandbasket · January 2014

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:

Don't they have those things on the wall in those bigger stalls with the baby changing station? It's like a physical restraint, haha. I'd use it.

Yes-- I have used those if I have the big bulky jogging stroller with me and it wont fit in the stall.

CurlyQ284 · January 2014

LovelyRitaMeterMaid said:
Don't they have those things on the wall in those bigger stalls with the baby changing station? It's like a physical restraint, haha. I'd use it.

I've only seen those in a few places. Maybe 5-10% of the public bathrooms I've been in?

Smootchy · January 2014

we're good

kcisthebombdotcom · January 2014

I used one once when i took my then two year and one year old to a busy event at the zoo solo. somehow managed to keep them from getting hit by a bus or taking off in a bathroom without one. we all already know how superior i am at parenting.

in all seriousness though the only time i judged is when a woman used one to take her kid to story time at the library. there's something wrong if you can't get a two year old through a tinyparking lot safely.

TiffanyBerry · January 2014

RondackHiker said:

TiffanyBerry said:

ETA3, since I'm feeling all judged and stuff (and I'm not going to say you're wrong about that): We all have stuff we judge other people on that we shouldn't. This is one of mine that I'm almost over, but not yet. Oh well. I can't fix all my bad shite in a day (or a year, or - most likely - in a lifetime). But don't stay home because I (and all the other judgers) haven't gotten over their shite.

Oh, you're feeling judged? El oh el.

Yeah, the whole "I feel judged for being a judger" thing makes me roll my eyes.

I didn't say you shouldn't judge me. I specifically mentioned that, even. I'm totally cool with you judging me for that.

I'm super happy for you that you are perfect in all of your inner thoughts and never have any that everyone else thinks you shouldn't. But hey, I'm not that perfect. I'm working on it. Oh well, I haven't gotten to the point you want me to. You'll just have to wait - it'll probably take a while.

CinemaGoddess · January 2014

ReeseFox · January 2014

OhBenji said:

Speaking of leashes I really need one for my H. He always wonders off in the mall and I have to look for him or call him to locate him.

OMG mine does this in Target and the grocery store. Most of the time he has the cart which really pisses me off.

RondackHiker · January 2014

ReeseFox said:

OhBenji said:

Speaking of leashes I really need one for my H. He always wonders off in the mall and I have to look for him or call him to locate him.

OMG mine does this in Target and the grocery store. Most of the time he has the cart which really pisses me off.

My H can vanish mid-conversation. He will ask a question and I'll be answering it and look over and he's gone.

And when I find him? He's never looking for me and never seems to notice we were separated. X(

PrimRoseMama · January 2014

TwilightMV said:
I would use one in a flipping second if I thought DS wouldn't just lie down on the floor and throw a fit until I let him run free. He's such a pain about sitting the stroller lately. He either wants me to carry him, or he wants to tear ass wildly through wherever we are.
If you think she'll be good with it, do it up.

This would be the issue for DD. She loses her mind on the little harness. If she's going to flip at least the stroller she is contained. Lord save us all. Thankfully, she usually starts giving us some diva-tude before the insanity commences.

ReeseFox · January 2014

Spooko said:

ReeseFox said:

OhBenji said:

Speaking of leashes I really need one for my H. He always wonders off in the mall and I have to look for him or call him to locate him.

OMG mine does this in Target and the grocery store. Most of the time he has the cart which really pisses me off.

Exactly! WTF do you insist on pushing the MFing cart and then not keep up with me. C'MON! I have lots of feels about this.

It always seems to be when I step away (like 2 whole yards) to grab something heavy. Turn around and the damn cart is gone, now I'm walking through the aisles carrying four jugs of juice looking for his ass.

JackoftheBox · January 2014

OhBenji said:

Speaking of leashes I really need one for my H. He always wonders off in the mall and I have to look for him or call him to locate him.

Mines a real tugger. I tried just holding his hand, but shit he is really strong!! He also has listening issues. I tried to just spank him, but domestic abuse and all....

CinemaGoddess · January 2014

JackoftheBox said:

OhBenji said:

Speaking of leashes I really need one for my H. He always wonders off in the mall and I have to look for him or call him to locate him.

Mines a real tugger. I tried just holding his hand, but shit he is really strong!! He also has listening issues. I tried to just spank him, but domestic abuse and all....

He might be into it, tho.

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