December 2013 Moms

those of you with or planning on a big family...

How does your family react?
It's obviously none of their business, but my family always feels the need to comment on how they hope we are done having kids and why did we have them so close together, etc. Now I realize that 3 kids is not that many, and in 5 years is not that close, but for some reason my family thinks it is. They all only have 1 or 2 kids, so I guess that's why. But we never ask for help in any way and can afford to provide for them, so what's with all the opinions?? is it a crime that we wanted a big family? It's actually unlike them to be so outspoken and it's really getting to me.
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Re: those of you with or planning on a big family...

  • It seems to me that some family members just cant mind their own business. If single, why don't you have a boyfriend (have you met soandso?). Followed by when are you getting married, having a baby, have you thought about having a second baby?
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  • Mac2588Mac2588 member
    edited January 2014
    My MIL has 8 children and my mom and most of her siblings have 4, so no big deal that we now have 4. Except everyone thinks we kept trying for a boy.
  • My grandma had 5 kids and all of my uncles have 2+ kids, I have a sibling so big families are nothing new to me.

     

  • I am 1 of 3, DH is 1 of 4. My mom is 1 of 4, FIL is 1 of 5... I personally don't think 3 is really a "big" family. Now some friends of mine growing up were the two oldest of 11...THAT is a big family. I think when it comes to nosy family members, you have to just let some things go. You know, after you make some snarky comeback remark ;)
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  • Large Catholic families are the norm where we live. My dad is one of 9. MIL is one of 6. When we told the family we might be done at 3, they all seemed disappointed we didn't want at least one more. Either way, the number of children you have is none of anyone's business but yours and your DH's. I'd tell them all to go to hell and mind their own business if I were you.
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  • We want 5-6 kids but spaces out and of course we want to make sure we can provide for them before we have them. My family isn't thrilled about it but they weren't happy we were pregnant in the first place and now they adore LO and are supportive. I think everyone's family just have to have an opinion.
  • I never really thought about this until you mentioned it, but we've experienced the same thing. My dad, best friend, and friend's mom are like, "that's it" "you're done right?" "you need to sew that thing up or something" after we've had two kids so close. I've even kind of felt bad about it like we're putting something on them or something. Yet, how is it their business? It has nothing to do with them, we pay for them and take care of them, and since I stay home with them and we barely go out, they've barely ever even watched either of them, so at the end of the day, why does it matter to them how many freakin' kids we have and how close?

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  • My annoying MIL says shit all the time. I want 4 kids, I had a great pregnancy but had a scary birth and the day LO was born I was so nauseas and out of it for hours after Lily was born and she's like so..you still want 3 more after that? I was going to snap. Give me a f'ing minute! I just had my baby woman! I was so pissed.

    No one else really says anything but I guarantee if I get pregnant this fall/winter (like we are thinking of doing) people will be saying stuff..asking if it was an accident or whatever. It's no ones business and I know I'll get people also saying how hard it's going to be, but it's going to be hard for me, not them, so they can say all they want. I know my kids will be happy they are close together in age as they grow up.

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  • I'm an only and DH is one of two so for us 3 is big. However our immediate families are quite large (him irish catholic, me Mexican Catholics). I would do a 4th if I wasn't a raging terrorist while pregnant. We may adopt. I don't think it's anyone's business how many kids you have or how close they are together. However we do absolutely get the side eye from people every time we go out.

     

     

  • I want to have 5 kids and DH wants 4. We just had #3 so we will see how "big" we get but I don't consider 3 big at all. I am one of 3 and DH is one of 3. My Dad is one of 11 and my Mom is one of 7 so nobody in my family considers us a big family.
  • We just had our 4th. I consider us to have a large family. We get comments from just about everyone in our families about being done, and about trying for a boy. After DD3 was born my MIL used to introduce her as her final grandchild. I was once asked if we planned on having more after DD3 and before I could get a word out she interrupted by saying I had better not have any more.

    When my H called to tell her we were pregnant again she said she was busy eating her kettle corn and then hung up on him. She denies all of this of course. Now all we hear is how crazy we are from everybody.

    For the record, I don't care one way or another what our families think about how many children we have. We don't ask them to babysit and we provide for our children on our own.
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  • Our families want us to have more.  I keep on telling them that the baby factory is being shuttered.
    Our family is complete!

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  • I don't necessarily think 3 is 'big' either, I do have a stepdaughter also, so sometimes we are a family of 6. It's not that I don't count her as part of our family, but she graduates high school this year, so if anything I almost feel like she adds to our adult count haha. Nd you guys are right, I do need a really good smartass comeback....any ideas? The irony is that dh didn't really think he wanted any more kids but now I'm pretty sure he's considering it just to spite them, he hates when people meddle.
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  • We get the side eye from people that aren't even family stupid people and some fam members on his side . My mom and my two sisters don't really care they just love our kids :)
    We have an 8yr and 5yr and baby but we get the side eye cuz we have "too many " for our age we 24 but we have always taken care of them never asked for help so idk why they care and to be honest I want one more :D
  • DH's mom & her boyfriend ask us if we're done when we go visit. Really just her boyfriend does because he's nosy & has no tact. We only have 2! That's an average size. Totally not their business so we evade the question. I have no idea what I might want in a few years.
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