newbs-lurkers-veterans

pistolpackinmomma · January 2014

IBackBevo said:

Bootsie327 said:

ykristos said:

IBackBevo said:

I can't believe no one has liked my completely awesome cookie monster gif.

I'm headed out to the alley now with my chains and switchblades...

That Elmo is badass.

I think he's meeting up with the others.

This needs to be our M14 official siggy or something. I'm cookie monster with the fully auto AR.

I call Elmo! And I totally skipped the rest of the responses to claim Elmo so if he's already been claimed then too damn bad!

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

There are a few people who weren't sure what the point of my thread was, so I want to explain.

There are a lot of ladies on here who really have gotten to know each other over the last 6 months and there are those who are just coming around. This thread was for the veterans to set a guideline of how things are done around here for the newbs so that they can join if they feel this is somewhere they want to be. Personally I really like what all the ladies said, and I will be looking into past threads a lot more before posting!

Personally I really enjoyed reading everyone's take on everything. We really are a group of women who just want to support and get supported and spill some cold truth on each other when needed.

@ykristos @Miles2Go @lovelylauren86yep... I am a total sap who loves rainbow cookies lol

edited to tag people

pistolpackinmomma · January 2014

NorthernGal248 said:
There are a few people who weren't sure what the point of my thread was, so I want to explain.
There are a lot of ladies on here who really have gotten to know each other over the last 6 months and there are those who are just coming around. This thread was for the veterans to set a guideline of how things are done around here for the newbs so that they can join if they feel this is somewhere they want to be. Personally I really like what all the ladies said, and I will be looking into past threads a lot more before posting!
Personally I really enjoyed reading everyone's take on everything. We really are a group of women who just want to support and get supported and spill some cold truth on each other when needed.
@ykristos @Miles2Go @lovelylauren86 yep... I am a total sap who loves rainbow cookies lol

edited to tag people

Sorry but these posts typically get mocked. It's just the way of TB.

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

pistolpackinmomma said:

There are a few people who weren't sure what the point of my thread was, so I want to explain.
There are a lot of ladies on here who really have gotten to know each other over the last 6 months and there are those who are just coming around. This thread was for the veterans to set a guideline of how things are done around here for the newbs so that they can join if they feel this is somewhere they want to be. Personally I really like what all the ladies said, and I will be looking into past threads a lot more before posting!
Personally I really enjoyed reading everyone's take on everything. We really are a group of women who just want to support and get supported and spill some cold truth on each other when needed.
@ykristos @Miles2Go @lovelylauren86 yep... I am a total sap who loves rainbow cookies lol

edited to tag people
Sorry but these posts typically get mocked. It's just the way of TB.

Yea I figured

I wont get butt hurt about it

elizabe519 · January 2014

Am I a "newbie" or a "lurker"??? I don't know... I think I'm still coming around to the idea that I'm actually pregnant, even though I've been on here since Sept. All I have to say is that although I don't post on here that much, I have found that the advice on here is honest and solid and I appreciate that. That is all.

Abbywyss · January 2014

I guess I am a lurker too

I am a FTM & I didn't really know that an intro & ongoing posts/comments were needed to be a part of this forum. Sorry if my random posts/comments offended people - thought this was a place to speak freely with other moms & get some good advice!

pistolpackinmomma · January 2014

Abbywyss said:
I guess I am a lurker too I am a FTM & I didn't really know that an intro & ongoing posts/comments were needed to be a part of this forum. Sorry if my random posts/comments offended people - thought this was a place to speak freely with other moms & get some good advice!

It's not that random posts here and there offend. It's the you people are so mean posts that are annoying. It's kinda like if you walked into a crowd of strangers and said you guys are so cliquey because you didn't squee that my kid has a peen but when really we just don't know who you are. If you don't share we can't be invested in your story. Does that make sense?

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

pistolpackinmomma said:

I guess I am a lurker too I am a FTM & I didn't really know that an intro & ongoing posts/comments were needed to be a part of this forum. Sorry if my random posts/comments offended people - thought this was a place to speak freely with other moms & get some good advice! It's not that random posts here and there offend. It's the you people are so mean posts that are annoying. It's kinda like if you walked into a crowd of strangers and said you guys are so cliquey because you didn't squee that my kid has a peen but when really we just don't know who you are. If you don't share we can't be invested in your story. Does that make sense?

Exactly what pistolpackingmomma said

reneewhite90 · January 2014

Abbywyss said:
I guess I am a lurker too I am a FTM & I didn't really know that an intro & ongoing posts/comments were needed to be a part of this forum. Sorry if my random posts/comments offended people - thought this was a place to speak freely with other moms & get some good advice!

Random posting and commenting is totally not an issue, at least as far as I'm concerned. There are a TON of ladies on this board, some that post more than others which makes them more recognizable to everyone. As MANY PPs have said, the issue is 1. The extreme "butt-hurt" feelings and 2. Getting upset over not being in the "clique". Just like IRL the more effort you put into a relationship the more you'll receive. Certain random posts may receive a few side-eyes, but I'm sure some "veterans" have received side eyes, too. No one says you have to agree with everything posted. How boring would that be if everyone had the same exact opinions?

Believe me, if people don't want you here... You'll know.

kat8805 · January 2014

Kivakira said:
To be honest, I've been here since October, and I post about once a week due to crappy internet access (I actually have to be at a wifi point or the library.) and I don't get out much due to being a caregiver for my dad. He had a stroke early in my pregnancy, which I shared on here, and was so comforted by the warmth and support given.

That being said, I know I have commented on quite a few posts, and at least a few of you recognize my pic from seeing me around here. That's why I was completely shocked to feel like I had been categorized as a lurker or newb. I'm not. I participate, I'm not crazypants, I give support, I get support. I just feel like because I can't bump every day I am not considered a regular. I read and I respond as much as possible, and I truly do care about everyone who puts themselves out there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you, or did you not, say last week that you totes had more time on your hands than Jme to host/rule a FB group of you own? Yet this week you get on once a week, think that's "normal" enough to be considered a regular, and want everyone to totes luff you?

Sure, we recognize your picture and your name. Your the one with the massive butthurts.

spacepotatoes · January 2014

kat8805 said:

To be honest, I've been here since October, and I post about once a week due to crappy internet access (I actually have to be at a wifi point or the library.) and I don't get out much due to being a caregiver for my dad. He had a stroke early in my pregnancy, which I shared on here, and was so comforted by the warmth and support given.

That being said, I know I have commented on quite a few posts, and at least a few of you recognize my pic from seeing me around here. That's why I was completely shocked to feel like I had been categorized as a lurker or newb. I'm not. I participate, I'm not crazypants, I give support, I get support. I just feel like because I can't bump every day I am not considered a regular. I read and I respond as much as possible, and I truly do care about everyone who puts themselves out there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you, or did you not, say last week that you totes had more time on your hands than Jme to host/rule a FB group of you own? Yet this week you get on once a week, think that's "normal" enough to be considered a regular, and want everyone to totes luff you? Sure, we recognize your picture and your name. Your the one with the massive butthurts.

I side-eyed that too but in all fairness, I think her whole point about FB was that it's easier for her to get onto because she can do it from her phone instead of relying on an internet connection. So she'd have time for FB, just not to be here.

ETA: That said, I do think it's not the greatest idea to try and be an admin/mod of a Bump group when you're not able to be here regularly enough to recognize who the members actually are, especially since the group is targeted towards other non-regs. It's a clustermug in the making.

kat8805 · January 2014

And @NorthernGal248 I think you've opened up a great line of communication on the subject and have kept a very open mind about responses and your expectations. I think that is the major difference here. Most other "why you so means to me" posts are mocked because the OP didn't bother to take a moment to finished their thought and make it rational before darting it out on the interwebs, and they then get super butthurt when people are all positive and "zomg I love you" afterwards.

Kudos to you

kat8805 · January 2014

spacepotatoes said:

kat8805 said:

Kivakira said:
To be honest, I've been here since October, and I post about once a week due to crappy internet access (I actually have to be at a wifi point or the library.) and I don't get out much due to being a caregiver for my dad. He had a stroke early in my pregnancy, which I shared on here, and was so comforted by the warmth and support given.

That being said, I know I have commented on quite a few posts, and at least a few of you recognize my pic from seeing me around here. That's why I was completely shocked to feel like I had been categorized as a lurker or newb. I'm not. I participate, I'm not crazypants, I give support, I get support. I just feel like because I can't bump every day I am not considered a regular. I read and I respond as much as possible, and I truly do care about everyone who puts themselves out there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you, or did you not, say last week that you totes had more time on your hands than Jme to host/rule a FB group of you own? Yet this week you get on once a week, think that's "normal" enough to be considered a regular, and want everyone to totes luff you?

Sure, we recognize your picture and your name. Your the one with the massive butthurts.

I side-eyed that too but in all fairness, I think her whole point about FB was that it's easier for her to get onto because she can do it from her phone instead of relying on an internet connection. So she'd have time for FB, just not to be here.

You need internet, of some sort, either way. Look at me, I'm on my phone right now. Granted I never use my data because DH & I share 1gb and I'm usually home with wireless, while he is at work with out, so I try to leave all our data for him. Our wireless comes from the phone line and needs a router cunt punt at least once a day, but it's $20 a month. To claim you have more accessibility and time than someone who really was busting ass on that situation for a few days, when really you're on one out of every seven, is bold.

spacepotatoes · January 2014

@kat8805 did you see the part I added afterward? I do agree with you about the time commitment issue.

kat8805 · January 2014

spacepotatoes said:
@kat8805 did you see the part I added afterward? I do agree with you about the time commitment issue.

Nope, I was too busy arguing with my dumbphone about deleting shit I never told it to delete. But I see it now LOL.

IBackBevo · January 2014

kat8805 said:

And @NorthernGal248 I think you've opened up a great line of communication on the subject and have kept a very open mind about responses and your expectations. I think that is the major difference here. Most other "why you so means to me" posts are mocked because the OP didn't bother to take a moment to finished their thought and make it rational before darting it out on the interwebs, and they then get super butthurt when people are all positive and "zomg I love you" afterwards. Kudos to you

Agree with the bolded especially.

Pretty much the only time I have ever "flamed" someone is when they have gotten super defensive (and usually very rude) with other posters just because people didn't agree with them or share the same opinion. I can't count the number of times original posters get nasty just because someone has a different opinion than their own.

I really don't understand why someone asks for opinions or asks a questions if all they want is affirmation. Is that all they get IRL from their friends and family? I know I don't. If I say to my IRL friends and family: "Hey guys, I think I am going to host my own baby shower for my 2nd DS in 2 years," my IRL friends and family are going to say to me:
"Yeah, that is not how it is typically done. I've never been to two baby showers for the same person in under two years."
-OR-
"Why can't you just use your stuff from DS1?"

And if I then reply to this second question with some BS about how I totally need new everything or say "every baby deserves to be celebrated" they are going to give me some serious side eye or whack me over the head. Or, if it is my mother, she will flat tell me that I am going to look like a huge fool and embarrass her.

LLolaBean · January 2014

kristine526 said:
I'm just going to sit back and read. There's been too much drama and too much cray today for my brain to process anything else.

As an aside, I SO wish I could grow a chair out of my ass lately.. That would be awesome!

sisterjanet · January 2014

Abbywyss said:

I guess I am a lurker too I am a FTM & I didn't really know that an intro & ongoing posts/comments were needed to be a part of this forum. Sorry if my random posts/comments offended people - thought this was a place to speak freely with other moms & get some good advice!

@Abbywyss If you want to be known, you have to actually post things. Then we can get to know you from what you post. (It also helps to post a few times a week because there are so many names, and to personalize your stuff a little, like adding a ticker or a sig picture and putting your own picture for the avatar instead of the anonymous bump pic.) It's the internet. We can't see you on the other side of the screen, nodding in agreement or shaking your head at us or whatever. We can only 'see' you when you type something.

Sorry if this sounds mean or condescending. I don't mean to be. I just wanted to put it out there in case you hadn't taken a moment to think about how becoming acquainted happens online.

Kay4244 · January 2014

I would not consider myself a newbey I do not post much because everything I want to know is posted. If not then I do ask. I do not comment much because I always feel silly or over think what I am trying to say. I introduced myself a long time ago but I an again.

I am 29 with 2 beautiful girls 6 and 3 and now am having a beautiful baby boy around May 18. I married my high school sweetheart and we are going to celebrate our 10 year wedding anniv in April. With this pregnancy I have developed alopecia which I have never had in my life and almost am half bald now.

mmanosh · January 2014

I'll chime in. I'm a newbie. I lurked on the May 2014 board a bit to basically feel out the posters. I felt like there was a lot to read about and "catch up on" before I actually posted my intro. I did see the FB group mentioned but that didn't have anything to do with my decision to pipe up and give my intro. And I'm glad I did because I really do want to be part of this group. I love the no non-sense approach to this board.

MunchkinMoon · January 2014

@christinaruth74,
I'll make sure to wash my maternity pants before you travel with them. Incontinence sucks balls.

*achoo*

hfooter · January 2014

For the record I never did an intro. I just jumped right in.

So an intro is not required to be considers a "vet" on this board (May). You just need to comment on posts and post your own thread every now and then.

And to all those that claim to be lurkers and are now just posting and getting all butt hurt, if you were a true lurker you would understand the mood of this bump board. It's pretty obvious you haven't even been lurking "correctly" otherwise.

mamagerman · January 2014

I just feel like it is silly to get upset over not being a part of the FB group. There is an obvious group of women who have been here from the very beginning. I too have been here from the beginning, but my posts have been few and far between. I know I'm a newbie. If I have something to say, I can say it here on TB. I guess I am just not understanding why all the upset, in what are supposed to be grown women, over FB. Even I noticed the big surge of newbies when FB was brought up. That's my jumble of thoughts. I apologize if it doesn't make sense.

reneewhite90 · January 2014

@aliciasoppe - it makes perfect sense, and kudos to you for understanding where these "vets" are coming from.

The way I see it is like when you were younger and had your girlfriends over to your house for a sleepover or party. You didn't invite the whole damn class, right? No, you invite the girls you were close with which only makes sense.

FB group = adolescent, girly sleepover/party

FlemDance · January 2014

I'd definitely consider myself more of a newb, but my guess is people's preoccupation with the FB group has to be FOMO. On TB, people can lurk freely, but on FB people have to be part of the group. Some people care more about being considered part of a group than actually participating in things. I'm good with what's going on here!

Edit: posted too soon

hnhcampbell · January 2014

I've posted a little here and there but I like maintaining my anonymity because I know that there are others within my circle of family and friends that like to "check-in" on these public forums every so often. I only recently became more active on here, mostly because of my anxiety and fear level, and I plan to continue posting more often as the pregnancy progresses. The women on here have distracted me when I've needed it most, made me laugh in a world full of chaos, and reassured me when I was feeling concerned. I'm looking forward to hopefully building stronger relationships with some of you as we continue on this journey together!

momthatlifts · January 2014

I think I did an intro a little after I got my bfp but posted more in first tri. No one here really bother me- newbs, lurkers, or vets. I don't remember anyone unless I recognize their sig or picture though. My questions have always been answered and that's all I'm concerned about. I'm guilty of lurking around for some drama a lot too. Not going to cry if I'm not invited to a fb group (which I had no idea was actually seriously going on until reading this thread) but I certainly wouldn't object if I was invited. I'm already a part of one that I adore! I can't say this about all of TB but the May board is definitely my favorite to post in because everyone seems to maintain their own individuality

sheriot · January 2014

So late to the party. I think it's odd that so many randoms have started posting after y'all formed the FB group so I can understand why everyone is a bit wary... (Sidenote: my personal opinion is that FB brings out the crazy in people, so I steer clear of it altogether.) I appreciate this board and the women who take the time to respond to questions, offer advice, and slap you back into reality when your pregnancy brain takes over and you ask a stupid question or make a dumb remark. I post occasionally and have developed a couple of Bump crushes

I can respect the bonds that some of the Mean Girls vets have developed over the course of the past six months--that's awesome. I guess I don't get why we are talking about classifying people and why people are getting butthurt about not being invited to a group of women who clearly are already very close and simply want to take their relationship to the next level by being FB friends.

Anyway. I'd like to note that I am still terrified of being pregnant/losing my baby/childbirth/being a mom, but being on here and realizing that other women feel the same way helps a lot. I'm just going to keep coming back to chat about PG related things and occasionally LOL at/side-eye the randoms like Slaps4Jesus and ScienceBabyHater. Carry on!

kat8805 · January 2014

@sheriot

yvanehtnioj · January 2014

@Ibackbevo sometimes I find myself love titting your posts because of your baby picture at the bottom.

kat8805 · January 2014

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