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SparkySharky
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NWMR: Bait and switch
SparkySharky
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in Working Moms
WWYD? My BIL helped us out last week by driving out and taking a second look at a house with us before we made an offer. We're super grateful and have offered to take them to dinner, babysit, drinks to repay the favor. Instead of any of that, my SIL wants me to host a party for her (like a Tupperware-type party). She's asked me several times already and I have already asked friends to see if they're interested, but they're not. So I've declined a number of times in addition to declining a number of invites to other kinds of parties. I also can't afford her stuff so I'm never going to become a customer. What do I do? Decline outright (again) or do another survey of my friends for interest?
I'm also a little teed off that she's using this as an opportunity to get me to do it which feels disingenuous (obtuse, really) considering our months of communication on the topic. It should have been dead long ago. I helped twice by being a practice dummy while she was training, but have been unequivocal since about not needing her stuff, not buying her stuff, and not being willing to host a party. Am I really indebted to try and get this done? I don't want to downplay our gratefulness to our BIL...
I'm also a little teed off that she's using this as an opportunity to get me to do it which feels disingenuous (obtuse, really) considering our months of communication on the topic. It should have been dead long ago. I helped twice by being a practice dummy while she was training, but have been unequivocal since about not needing her stuff, not buying her stuff, and not being willing to host a party. Am I really indebted to try and get this done? I don't want to downplay our gratefulness to our BIL...
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Re: NWMR: Bait and switch
No, you aren't indebted. These are 2 separate issues.
Offer to take them out to dinner (or whatever). If she literally takes that and says "I want you to throw a party", tell her "I'm not going to be able to do that. So, where would you and BIL like to go to dinner?".
And actually- I'd bypass her. Have your DH contact your BIL directly and ask HIM (as he's the one who helped you) where he'd like to go/ what night he wants you so babysit, or whatever.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I like this. Plus, BIL would probably prefer something else anyway - so either ask him directly where he wants to eat out or have DH offer some other "manly" getaways like tickets to a game or bowling or whatever he is into.
If she presses the point I would stand firm and say that you asked your friends and you simply don't have people in your social circles who are interested/able to buy those products.
I hate hate hate parties like that.
I think you need to address this directly with SIL or she's just going to keep asking. Say "your products are out of my price range and I don't feel comfortable asking others to buy them either. best of luck!"
And then repeat that phrase as often as needed.
I hope to god she never trolls this site bc she would know immediately who she is...
FInd her some models?
But oh boy. She doesn't know when to give up. The next time she brings it up, I'd shut it down. "SIL - I;ve tried to help you but I can't. I need to ask that you stop asking me for help. I'm done with this.".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
And how is it that they "can't go to dinner"? Maybe you could just send BIL a thank you card with a gift card in it.
As a side note: my SIL and BIL have vastly different levels of caution regarding the allergies.