newbs-lurkers-veterans

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

Hello ladies!

I noticed that in the last few threads that there is a little tension going on between the newbs, lurkers, and veterans. I understand that those who have been around (veterans) for a while know a lot more about each others situations, and have grown to be friends. I also understand that there a lot of lurkers who we don't know because of the lack of posting, but seem to know us. Then of course there are newbs who just have recently showed up.

I was wondering if we can all have a peaceful dicussion and kind of all get our opinions out about each other. I think we all have a lot of support, answers, advice, and opinions to share with each other and I really want to be friends.

ykristos · January 2014

I don't think that any of us would much mind if there were lurkers or newbs coming around (there have been from the start, some have become regular posters), but it has just happened all at once and began the day we started a Facebook group. It's been a bit bizarre that there have been times in the last few days that I don't recognize a single poster in a thread, when I feel like we just last week we had a pretty established (and big! non-exclusive!) group. It's been an intense influx of random people in the span of a few days, and it's off-putting.

Edited because typos. Don't point out the fact that there are probably still typos.

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

I'll even start! I don't consider myself a newb or lurker because I have been in discussions for a while. I also can't consider myself a veteran because I haven't been posting discussions.Mostly because it seems like everything I want to discuss is already up and I can read through and add comments when I have something to say.

I really enjoy hanging out here with all you ladies!

My advice is to read more about situations before passing judgement, and of course this is advice I need to take more myself, too.

Katemr1146 · January 2014

My opinion is that I find it very unnerving that there are all of a sudden tons of new posters...lurkers, newbs, whatever all of a sudden.

Why now? Why this week? Makes me feel all bitchy and threatened that there's so many in such a short time frame.

I don't like it.

Edited: to clarify that I don't like the scary influx of random posters riiiight after the whole FB group went down. I'm not opposed to new people in general. Maybe it was coincidental, or bad timing. Just really odd what happened this week. That is what I don't like.

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

Kimbus22 said:

Airing of opinions about people does not go over well.

I should have worded it differently, I know it sounds wrong but I can't seem to get my thoughts into words. I just want some sort of peace to come to the board, and I'm hoping that we can somehow settle the issues.

ykristos · January 2014

Oh my goodness. I think I see where you're trying to take us NothernGal.

spacepotatoes · January 2014

Personally, I have no problems with newbs who obviously have been lurkers and have taken the time to get a feel for the personality of this board before jumping into things. There are a few who intro'd recently that I liked from reading their intros and have seen them post since then. There are also a few others who rub me the wrong way because they appear to think they are on a board of a very different nature and don't really make much effort to get into what the board actually is.

The ones who REALLY rub me the wrong way are the few who rarely contribute to any other threads, except maybe HDBD, but have no problem starting lots of their own threads about their freakouts, and questions that we've covered multiple times over, usually pretty recently. It just feels like we're being used as their personal google or their personal support system but they are not giving anything back to the community. What is the point of that?

motoLyn · January 2014

I consider myself a newb though I introduced myself back in November. I like reading the threads and commenting when I can. As a FTM I'm pretty lost when it comes to products and situations and my research skills aren't up to par. I like to consider myself friendly and social and contribute good thoughts when I can. I understand how intimidating it can be coming into a well established board, so slow and easy is the pace I like. Hopefully I can make some friends here.

candrew05 · January 2014

Peaceful discussion? Glad I got here on time for this!!

sisterjanet · January 2014

@ykristos I didn't see your gif the first time, but it really makes the post.

As a veteran lurker, I don't really understand the point of this thread. @NorthernGal248 are you trying to do a nice, somewhat belated version of the Festivus tradition known as the Airing of Grievances? (cause if so, I got a problem with you people, and you're gonna hear about it!) (not really, just couldn't resist.)

spacepotatoes · January 2014

I will also add that those same people who only seem to come here for their own personal benefit tend to be the first to jump in and White Knight on threads, usually without having read the complete thread or having the full context. Then they feel entitled to lecture us on our behaviour and what this board is for. Those are the newbs nobody cares for.

Miles2Go · January 2014

@Lovelylauren86

By Request

Ziegeficker · January 2014

It's the Internet. An open forum. There will always be people popping in from out of the blue. I'm not sure why that bothers so many people, honestly.

lovelylauren86 · January 2014

Thanks @miles2go it had to be done

TheBeeCharmer · January 2014

I say we just all meet in the alley with chains and switch blades...

oscarwao · January 2014

As PP said I'm not sure what the point of this thread is? Also the new influx has made me reluctant to request to be in the Facebook group, though part of me still wants to.

CamrynnsMommy · January 2014

FWIW, I welcome all with open arms. You got to get your feet wet at some point.

Had Renon been a lurker, newb or vet, I would've said the same thing.

peachysweet4 · January 2014

I have to fight the lurker in me, I want to be a part of the community so I post and I ask questions. It can be scary, the bump is known for not being puppies and rainbows but that's what I love about it. You (general you) can't whine about not being included in the FB group when you haven't posted the entire 6 months that others have. Why would you post in FB but not here? I'm not even sure if I'm recognised but I pretend I go here anyways :P

dogsombrero · January 2014

OP it takes all kinds on these boards. I'm more of a lurker on this board than an active poster but I've never been treated poorly in any way all these gals have given great advice when I've asked for it.

The biggest rule of thumb is understand the context that things are being said/story of the person posting and listening to the advice/ at minimum not shooting down what you don't like to hear (even if it hurts a little which is what friends IRL would say too).

bookishnerd · January 2014

ErBear1010 said:

1. You don't have to post discussions to be a veteran.
2. A lot of us have been here for 6 months. A lot of us have been active posters for 6 months.
3. I find it odd that if people are newbs here, why at 20 weeks or so are you just joining? I find that odd. Also, after half of your pregnancy, why are you still lurking?
4. Many of us have gotten to know each other. Some of us are pretty close. Actually-most of the "veterans" are pretty close. When people come out of lurkland and get snarky with us, we get a little upset.
5. This week, since the FB group opened, a lot of people appeared. It's odd and kinda weird. Those same people who appeared are upset they couldn't join facebook. We know who some of them are. They are upset about not being a group that was TECHNICALLY RIGHT HERE! If you didn't participate here, then why do you want to join another group with us.

Regarding #3 - I am 22 weeks and have not posted much, mostly read/lurked. One reason being just taking the time to get a feel for the board. Honestly it took me some time to even start lurking on TB mostly because I find the site name overly cutesy. But happily have found the community to be anything but cutesy. The other reason being I just don't often have anything to add to threads, but enjoy the no b.s. opinions and advice here. Even in real life around groups of close friends/family I'm not one to pipe up too much!

*Edited because numbers are hard.

Ziegeficker · January 2014

HatchetFace said:

Also, why show up when some of us are over halfway through our pregnancies to bitch about the tone of the board? And then get pissed when you (general you) get denied entry into the FB group? If you didn't participate here, why would we let you into a group where you have access to our real names? Why would you even want to be part of it?

Yea, that's a little different. Facebook groups can be a magnet for crazy...I am staying away.

mirdamae03 · January 2014

Had the influx happened last week, I bet very few of us would have batted an eye. For it to happen right after a FB group was formed, it's a little suspect. Even if it wasn't due to that necessarily.

kristine526 · January 2014

I'm just going to sit back and read. There's been too much drama and too much cray today for my brain to process anything else.

keeumm · January 2014

CamrynnsMommy said:

FWIW, I welcome all with open arms. You got to get your feet wet at some point. Had Renon been a lurker, newb or vet, I would've said the same thing.

I started posting 3-ish weeks ago (I think?). I admit to not knowing this board existed for the first few months of pregnancy. I was unsure about forums/communities because I was worried that they would all show perfect pregnancies, perfect people, and perfect babies. I love that this board is honest and that people aren't afraid to ask and/or share.

Thanks to people like CamrynnsMommy who have made people like me feel more welcome!

83edwards · January 2014

I don't care how many people join the board. It is odd that EVERYONE decided to join and start posting at the half-way mark. Still yet, while it is weird, I don't care.

I do care when brand new people come on here looking for "support." It seems that all support means is that I get to shove my opinions down someone else's throat and they have no right, whatsoever, to disagree. It seems like a LOT of the new posters just want to be told they are right....and if we disagree, we are the bitches.

It is a problem when people come to an established board and go on as though they:

1. Own the place

2. Know any of us at all

3. Are entitled to be right

Don't be a bitch.....and we will accept you openly

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

TheBeeCharmer said:

I say we just all meet in the alley with chains and switch blades...

:-O

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

ykristos said:

I don't think that any of us would much mind if there were lurkers or newbs coming around (there have been from the start, some have become regular posters), but it has just happened all at once and began the day we started a Facebook group. It's been a bit bizarre that there have been times in the last few days that I don't recognize a single poster in a thread, when I feel like we just last week we had a pretty established (and big! non-exclusive!) group. It's been an intense influx of random people in the span of a few days, and it's off-putting.

Edited because typos. Don't point out the fact that there are probably still typos.

This makes sense.

I personally haven't tried to join the FB group because I don't want my friends to read any of my comments. There was another girl here who ended up in a very akward situation because her sister (I think it was her sister) ended up seeing the vent the poster had about her.

I also can't access FB at work, and this is where I usually stalk- er- lurk? hehe

ykristos · January 2014

jennish11 said:

TheBeeCharmer said:

I say we just all meet in the alley with chains and switch blades...

I call the Trident!

Ziegeficker · January 2014

FWIW, I get it...I have been posting on here since my BFP but tend to hold back because of the sheer number of people on the board. When there are 80 replies to a thread, it's hard to feel a connection. It'll get much more manageable after we all start having our May babies -- My other BMB became a comparative ghost town after our babies were about a month old, but we like it that way because we are pretty close. That'll happen here too...I think it'll just take a while.

I must have missed the snarky newbie posts, hence my initial confusion. But I maintain FB groups attract the crazy...

NorthernGal248 · January 2014

ErBear1010 said:

I will welcome anyone who wants to discuss things on here. That's fine. It's the bitchiness, white horse, "I don't like the tone" people who have never really posted before now. And yeah, a week ago, nobody would have batted an eye. Now that there's a FB group either 1. lurkers thought we were leaving and decided to take over or 2. want to be in the FB group.

I was thinking number 1 - but I don't want anyone to leave!

talkthewholetime · January 2014

I was new ... I had never written on message boards in my life. I jumped in. I contributed where I could, and waited to get to know people. I wrote "congrats and welcome to May" on a thousand posts. I gave virtual hugs and extended thoughts and prayers. You need to give support to get support. At this point, a lot of members in this group have been through a lot lf time and events together - almost 6 months worth!

ykristos · January 2014

@jennish11 -- he's throwing a trident in a fight. It's from Anchorman.

kristine526 · January 2014

NorthernGal248 said:

ErBear1010 said:

I will welcome anyone who wants to discuss things on here. That's fine. It's the bitchiness, white horse, "I don't like the tone" people who have never really posted before now. And yeah, a week ago, nobody would have batted an eye. Now that there's a FB group either 1. lurkers thought we were leaving and decided to take over or 2. want to be in the FB group.

I was thinking number 1 - but I don't want anyone to leave!

We're not leaving.

We're just hanging out in two places at once.

mileswithmyles · January 2014

TheBeeCharmer said:

I say we just all meet in the alley with chains and switch blades...

Only if we can rumble like the Jets and the Sharks

ykristos · January 2014

jennish11 said:

@ykristos - that's totally what I was referring to... but for some reason on my screen your image showed some weird hotlinking logo thing.

I love Anchorman - it's one of my favorite movies to quote!

Have you seen Anchorman 2?
We just saw it and loved it!

I LOVE LAMPS!!!

Oh, bummer! At least you didn't think I was making a threat (ie, going to throw a trident at you), though that would have taken this thread to a whole new level. I haven't seen 2 yet, but hopefully will before it's out of theaters

Bmlopez3054 · January 2014

@ykristosjennish11 all I see is the hotlinking logo thing too

mirdamae03 · January 2014

https://giphy.com/gifs/u7AHSHW2spsZi
ETA: Damn, how do you gif mobile?

mileswithmyles · January 2014

Second try with the pic

pistolpackinmomma · January 2014

I have no issue with newbs, when they have half of a brain. The "we're here for support" and "this board is too cliquey" crap gets old and what is especially ironic is they always say if you don't like a post then don't comment. Well if you don't like our board then leave. You crying about how mean we are (which really, it's just honesty and sometimes the truth hurts) will not change a thing. I know I can be bitchy from time to time (and no it's not hormones, I am who I am regardless of the state of my uterus) and I will jump down anybody's throat who is attacking my friends. I feel I have made some friends already on here and there's even a few I'd like to take out for drinks after May! I doubt I ever meet any if them IRL because I don't believe any live near me but if they did that would be awesome.

candrew05 · January 2014

NorthernGal248 said:

I personally haven't tried to join the FB group because I don't want my friends to read any of my comments. There was another girl here who ended up in a very akward situation because her sister (I think it was her sister) ended up seeing the vent the poster had about her.

Off topic, I feel much more comfortable saying certain stuff on a private fb board where I can see the face of everyone I'm talking to VS an open public forum where any one of my friends could be lurking (and I cant forget Crazies)

On topic, I really don't have any input. Lots and people come and go from these boards and it does provide a level of entertainment for sure, but I'm glad the "regulars" remain unphased and are what makes these boards.

talkthewholetime · January 2014

NorthernGal248 said:

ErBear1010 said:

I will welcome anyone who wants to discuss things on here. That's fine. It's the bitchiness, white horse, "I don't like the tone" people who have never really posted before now. And yeah, a week ago, nobody would have batted an eye. Now that there's a FB group either 1. lurkers thought we were leaving and decided to take over or 2. want to be in the FB group.

I was thinking number 1 - but I don't want anyone to leave!

In regards to #2....did anyone ever teach them how to make friends? You catch more flies with honey, people.

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