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August 2014 Moms
work or stay home?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: work or stay home?
It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s that I don’t know you. Stranger Danger.
Is head usher a real thing!?
Just read all the craziness from her other posts on IVF etc. This can't be real, can it!? Maybe I'm just still asleep and dreaming because I spent too much time on the bump last night ...
edit: Also, maybe the reason your family is excited for your brother and SIL is because they are at a different point in their lives emotionally, financially and in their careers than you and your DH.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
@ladyabagail, it all makes sense to me now. Your family IS actually more excited for your SIL than you. I'd imagine your SIL and her husband actually have their shit together in life and your family knows they probably won't have to support them and their "creepy science baby" in a year, like they will you when your husbands movie theater promotes some 16 year old (fresh blood!) to "Head Usher" (I'm pretty sure that's made up too), and your hubby is SOL.
I only see this ending badly for you. Couldn't happen to a nicer person.
5 DIUI - BFN
IVF#1 - BFP - AJ 7/12
FET#1 - BFP Due 7/24/14
Lurking from the SAHM board here... I'm going to pretend that I don't already know that you're a despicable human being and give you some knowledge here.
Every mom on the SAHM board would tell you that staying home is a terrible decision for you. Your husband's slightly-more-than-minimum wage job is barely enough to support one person, let alone three. The decision to SAH should be based on two things: 1. You can afford it, and 2. It's the best thing for your kids. You can't afford it. Just because mommy and daddy ae supporting you right now doesn't mean that they will continue to indefinitely. Eventually, they'll want you to become a productive member of society, and the Bank of the Parentals will close. You will have no job, no education, no place to live, no savings, and no fucking clue what to do. Plus, you'll have one or more kids who tend to like to eat on a regular basis. Do yourself a major favor: Go to school. Find a job. Make something of yourself that your parents and your kid can be proud of. Have your husband do the same. If, down the line, you're supporting yourself and have some savings and decide to SAH, more power to you. For now, though, all you are is a leech. Make yourself better than that. You might even figure out along the way what it is to actually be an adult.
ETA: I forgot to address my #2 requirement to SAH (best for your kid): it's never best for a kid to be raised by another kid. You may not see it, but you're still very much a kid. Your kid will be happier, healthier, and better adjusted with parents who aren't stressing over money all the time after Grandma and Grandpa cut them off, and who can actually hold their own in the world.
Lurking but can't stop myself from saying something...
If I was knocked up at 18 with a movie theater usher supporting me and no education or career plan to speak of for myself, I'd be balled up in a corner crying hysterically. HYSTERICALLY. And this is back when I had absolutely no idea how much money it cost to live on my own. When I had no idea how valuable insurance was. When I didn't even consider what it means to have a retirement plan.
Until I graduated from college, I thought going to the doctor meant paying a $5 co-pay and that was it. Healthcare is cheap! Yay!
Then I got strep and found out I was kicked off my father's plan. I went to prompt care and saw a doctor, and was handed a nice bill for $250. I started crying. The doctor felt bad for me and gave me free antibiotics, which saved me another $50 or so. I was 22.
I learned many hard lessons after that. Life is EXPENSIVE. And tragedy happens. Please, please think of your future and try to get a plan in place in case you need your income as a supplement. Maybe you live in Backwater Oklahoma and your living expenses are less. But I live in Backwater Indiana and even though the cost of living isn't high here, I admit I had some reservations about when to start trying for a child with TWO professional-level salaries. And excellent healthcare. I'm being realistic because I know we're probably going to have to move in a couple years - based on that wonderful thing called "experience." My partner flipped out our last year in our 700 square foot apartment, cramming stuff into a closet and shouting "I can't take it anymore!!!" So we moved to a space with 1300 square feet. While that's enough for the two of us, it will not be enough for 3 people, especially when that 3rd person starts to walk.
Happily we've built equity - you might want to look that word up, sweetie - so we'll be able to put a decent down payment on a bigger place and hopefully not have a big increase in our monthly mortgage payment.
Anyway, between the ages of 18 and 30, I grew up a LOT. I get palpitations thinking of what my life would've been like if I had a baby at 18. There are some 18 year olds who feel ready, and all the power to 'em. But my goodness, I do worry about how you're going to handle being a teen mom. Wow.
But seriously, don't you have some science-y threads to derail?
I know I'm laying it on thick here but work is so slow today.
What about all the comments asking you to leave? Your response should be.... TO LEAVE.
Stella - 7.7.11 | Ian - 8.6.14 | Isaac- 7.20.18
#4 due 4.22.23
Ugh, sorry ladies... I didn't realize my comment would bring Princess Abagail back to the forums. Do your friends call you Abba, by the way? That would be awesome.
So Mommy and Daddy are still taking care of you and your husband? And he has a job as an usher because it's "fun" and he gets to hang out with all his friends? Yeah, you're both perfectly capable adults ready to raise a child.
Looks like Bella Swan is on The Bump, amiright?
*are
Did you graduate from high school?