Well, good morning to me.

kirstenviola · January 2014

I'm at work this morning reading through my introduction post and I'm quite disappointed. I thought that my apology would mean something to you- after all, several people told me I needed to apologize, so I did. I see that it didn't make an impact at all.

Let me say it again. I'm sorry if I offended any of you. That wasn't my intention at all. I'm glad you mommies have formed friendships, I think that's great. I just want to be a part of that. Maybe I don't understand all of the pictures and videos and inside jokes, but I can accept that. I'm not as young as some of you and wasn't raised with computers and internet. Maybe I don't understand the purpose of this board- I thought it was to connect with and get support from other mothers who have similarly aged children. If that's not what it is, perhaps it's best that I leave.

While your comments on my board were exceedingly negative, I'd like to thank those of you who took the time to personally send me a private message and apologize for the behavior of the group. Yes, ladies, not all of your members are so proud to be rude and obnoxious to newcomers. Because of that, I'll give the board another chance. Like I said, I don't have mommy friends in my real life. I need someone to talk to!

My daughter is my first child and I need support. And perhaps I played a part in the negativity- while I don't think I deserved the rude comments, I will accept my part in it. I plan to let that board become inactive because I'd like to get off on the right foot.

Here's my real introduction: I'm Kirsten, a 36 year old married woman who just had her first baby, a gorgeous angel named Keighlee, on September 10, 2013. I'd rather not disclose my location, but I will say I enjoy spending time in the city going to the theater and shopping and having nice meals with my husband and friends. Most of my friends with children started well before I did, which means their children are between 8 and 18 now. I want to connect with a group of women who have babies like I do.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I do appreciate it greatly.

kirstenviola · January 2014

Loppy19- I haven't been lurking for a really long time. I've been on this board occasionally to read what other mothers are going through, but that's it. Here's how I see it: "the way this board works" is that mothers with children born in the same month talk and discuss issues with their babies to find solutions to problems and discuss their development and the like. Am I wrong?

That was a serious question, I'm not trying to insult you. I'm frustrated that I'm not adequately getting my point across. I was not starting a new board to insult anyone. And I fail to see how I did. I'm being honest, which I assumed you would all appreciate.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

I would love to know who messaged you and apologized on behalf of the board. As far as I am concerned they can bounce on out with you.

We have formed bonds. I fail to see how you dont/ arent grasping that. You were quoted and told exactly how you were being rude. Seriously, if you want support go to the 3-6 month board.

wlux · January 2014

I'm not rude and obnoxious to newcomers......

Just people that are jerkfaces to my friends.

kirstenviola · January 2014

Rude and obnoxious were some of several different negative words that your own members used to describe you and your welcoming words. Those weren't my words. And I place a premium on being honest at all times. You can't possibly be arguing that your words were not rude and obnoxious? People were saying things to me that I wouldn't even repeat.

That being said, I'm begging you- let the slate be wiped clean. Give me a chance to be here without putting me down and I know we'll all benefit. I'm sorry at the way I came off and the way my words were interpreted. I'm sorry that people were offended. That is not what I came here to do. I promise.

NicknShan · January 2014

I will go ahead and say welcome. Publically.

Apology accepted. Moving on.

kirstenviola · January 2014

Thank you NicknShan. That's the response I'm hoping for.

JocelynB0911- I'd rather not say who sent me a message. That was personal and they've asked me not to share their names, and I won't. I imagine you'd be upset if I did break their confidences.

kje120 · January 2014

I'm really not trying to be a bitch, but your "apologies" were very backhanded. Apologizing in one breath and making a rude comment in the next makes your apology very insincere.

Also, I'm 37 and well aware of social etiquette online so you can't use age as a reason for being rude.

charpe · January 2014

True confession: I get really excited when I refresh the page and there's more responses!!

database6 · January 2014

kirstenviola · January 2014

I don't know what AE stands for. Help please? This is what I'm referring to when I talk about my age- I don't understand a lot of the references being made or what the different acronyms stand for. Not that I don't understand etiquette. I find it good etiquette to be honest.

amandalt823 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

Rude and obnoxious were some of several different negative words that your own members used to describe you and your welcoming words. Those weren't my words. And I place a premium on being honest at all times. You can't possibly be arguing that your words were not rude and obnoxious? People were saying things to me that I wouldn't even repeat.

That being said, I'm begging you- let the slate be wiped clean. Give me a chance to be here without putting me down and I know we'll all benefit. I'm sorry at the way I came off and the way my words were interpreted. I'm sorry that people were offended. That is not what I came here to do. I promise.

Oh come on - words you can't even repeat. You did say that you were 36, correct? You say for everyone to give you a chance but yet your comment on the Co-Sleeping post is incredibly judgmental and negative. You are burning your own bridge.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

Thank you NicknShan. That's the response I'm hoping for.

JocelynB0911- I'd rather not say who sent me a message. That was personal and they've asked me not to share their names, and I won't. I imagine you'd be upset if I did break their confidences.

I would just love to know who thinks they need to apologize for my behavior. I am a big girl and stand by everything I said. No apologies.

Salemkitty13 · January 2014

I'm pumping at work and I got so engrossed reading this and the other thread that I spilled milk all down one leg of my pants. Maybe I should go pantless, hmmm.

wlux · January 2014

OP you are now on a post it.

HBirdie · January 2014

Gahhh I stayed up too late (thanks OP and Jocelyn!) and now I want to sleep in but I keep checking in while nursing to catch up and stuff is happening without me! And I need to gif and can't! Why is this so difficult? Roll over and keep sleeping, or get up and do this? I just don't know!!!

Also op I call BS on people PMing you and I call BS on not knowing what an AE is. Come on, if you've been stalking us, you should know.

imakeeff0rts · January 2014

I'm not willing to wipe the slate. You roll in here with your insults before anyone has even spoken to you, issue non-apologies, and then continue to insult us and pretend like you don't know what you're saying. Andplusalso, whether those words were yours or not, you used them like they were. How is it ok for you to get frustrated and defensive but if we do it makes us "rude and obnoxious"?

I'm going to call out the people that messaged you. Come out and play. Tell us why what she's doing is ok, but us defending ourselves makes us "rude and obnoxious". Quit hiding behind your screens.

Also..

wlux · January 2014

JLMcWeeney · January 2014

Even if you keep posting on this board and try to be friends, I will always remember your SN. You really flubbed up any real relationships you could have created here. People won't forget the things you said.

kirstenviola · January 2014

imakeefforts- I know what I'm saying. I don't think I'm insulting you with my apologies, but I guess you do. I think it would be hard to argue that some of those responses to my board last night were not rude, but if you want to argue that, go ahead? Seems like a losing stance. People were saying some pretty terrible things.

As for the people who sent me a message, I will not throw them under the bus and provide you with their names. But if they want to comment, they should. They merely believe that all of the popularity contests get old sometimes and they're tired of it. That's all. Not everyone is happy this is such an exclusive club and they wanted me to know that.

That being said, I sincerely apologize for insulting you or offending you. It was not my intention.

database6 · January 2014

Loppy19 said:

GIF PARTY!!!

kirstenviola · January 2014

jdoud77- Thank you. Your comment was actually very helpful and constructive.

I don't understand how there are people on this thread calling me names and yet I'm the one being aggressively rude. That doesn't make sense to me.

kirstenviola · January 2014

My break is over and I need to go back to work. I hope everyone can take my apologies for what they are- sincere attempts to repair the lines of communication and try for a fresh start.

wlux · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

imakeefforts- I know what I'm saying. I don't think I'm insulting you with my apologies, but I guess you do. I think it would be hard to argue that some of those responses to my board last night were not rude, but if you want to argue that, go ahead? Seems like a losing stance. People were saying some pretty terrible things.

As for the people who sent me a message, I will not throw them under the bus and provide you with their names. But if they want to comment, they should. They merely believe that all of the popularity contests get old sometimes and they're tired of it. That's all. Not everyone is happy this is such an exclusive club and they wanted me to know that.

That being said, I sincerely apologize for insulting you or offending you. It was not my intention.

Am I reading this correctly? She is white knighting white knights?

No one was mean. chill.

happybride 276 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:
imakeefforts- I know what I'm saying. I don't think I'm insulting you with my apologies, but I guess you do. I think it would be hard to argue that some of those responses to my board last night were not rude, but if you want to argue that, go ahead? Seems like a losing stance. People were saying some pretty terrible things.

As for the people who sent me a message, I will not throw them under the bus and provide you with their names. But if they want to comment, they should. They merely believe that all of the popularity contests get old sometimes and they're tired of it. That's all. Not everyone is happy this is such an exclusive club and they wanted me to know that.

That being said, I sincerely apologize for insulting you or offending you. It was not my intention.

Thanks for your apology, but we don't want it. It would be best if you didn't participate in this group. Nobody is going to forget how this started and you aren't going to get the support that you need. I seriously think you should start over with the 3-6 month group. Try anew there.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

who was calling you names in this thread?

AppleMuffins · January 2014

You know why I don't like you? It's not your insults, because quite frankly I don't care much since, while I'm an active member of this board, I don't use it to build relationships or make friends necessarily, I'm here to read the advice from women who have been there before, or are doing it now in regards to raising a child, and who really know their shit. They give great advice most of the time, and do so without being cunts, generally. They aren't abrasive and usually present the information as "this is what I do, maybe it will work for you." If they have information that is beyond opinion, they usually have facts to support it.

But you. No. despite being new here and saying you are here for camaraderie and advice, you seem to be posting a lot of strong opinions as replies on other threads. And you are passing those opinions off as fact. And some of them don't jive with the general atmosphere around here. You really seem to think you are above us all. Such a stuck up way of presenting yourself for someone who claims she wants to fit in. I keep reading your replies and before even seeing who posted, I think to myself "what a bitchy response. " then I look to see and it's you.

Quite frankly, I'm not convinced you aren't a troll anyway. You seem so exceptionally good at pressing buttons that it seems deliberate.

Tldr : you keep dishing out bad advice and presenting your opinions with a holier than thou attitude. But you don't even go here! (Mean girl style, but I can't gif on my phone).

VitaLuna · January 2014

I'm feeling nice today. I think you're trying, so I'll give you a second chance. Like I said in the other thread, your attitude will likely not get you far on here, so we'll see how long that lasts... But you get a pass for today in my book.

To all the other regs: can we agree to let this thread (and the other intro) go if she tells us who PM'd her?

imakeeff0rts · January 2014

kirstenviola said:
imakeefforts- I know what I'm saying. I don't think I'm insulting you with my apologies, but I guess you do. I think it would be hard to argue that some of those responses to my board last night were not rude, but if you want to argue that, go ahead? Seems like a losing stance. People were saying some pretty terrible things.

As for the people who sent me a message, I will not throw them under the bus and provide you with their names. But if they want to comment, they should. They merely believe that all of the popularity contests get old sometimes and they're tired of it. That's all. Not everyone is happy this is such an exclusive club and they wanted me to know that.

That being said, I sincerely apologize for insulting you or offending you. It was not my intention.

1. If your newfound BFFs aren't happy here, you can all go to BabyCenter.
2. That's the first REAL apology you've issued.
3. Yes, some of them were rude...mine included (and I don't regret it one bit). You walked in here with a condescending attitude and hurled insults at us. But it's not ok for anyone to be anything other than butterflies and rainbows, I guess. Apparently you're the only one allowed to be rude and condescending.
4. Several people have pointed this out, but I'll do it again: you've really hurt your chances of making friends here (apparently except for the cowards who refuse to enter the conversation). Aside from your initial post and this three ring circus, your responses in other threads are condescending, judgmental, and equaly rude. No one will take your advice to heart or help you because of how you're acting. Period. Telling someone that she's psychologically damaging her child because she co-sleeps? Really? REALLY? I think it's been made pretty apparent that you're not wanted here. Do yourself a favor and try again with another site.
Edited for typos.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

VitaLuna said:

I'm feeling nice today. I think you're trying, so I'll give you a second chance. Like I said in the other thread, your attitude will likely not get you far on here, so we'll see how long that lasts... But you get a pass for today in my book. To all the other regs: can we agree to let this thread (and the other intro) go if she tells us who PM'd her?

I like the way you think. Names for a fresh start.

VitaLuna · January 2014

I mean, I feel bad for you, you're kind of pathetic. I think you should be given a second chance (see how that little silent jab thing works? I can do it, too).

wlux · January 2014

JocelynB0911 said:

VitaLuna said:

I'm feeling nice today. I think you're trying, so I'll give you a second chance. Like I said in the other thread, your attitude will likely not get you far on here, so we'll see how long that lasts... But you get a pass for today in my book. To all the other regs: can we agree to let this thread (and the other intro) go if she tells us who PM'd her?

I like the way you think. Names for a fresh start.

Names and she has to agree not to wear pants whenever she wants to contribute to the board.

kje120 · January 2014

I'm assuming you are an AE for one of the aforementioned people who thinks this is too exclusive of a club. If so, grow up and speak your own mind.

wlux · January 2014

jdoud77 said:

whitneylux said:

JocelynB0911 said:

VitaLuna said:

I'm feeling nice today. I think you're trying, so I'll give you a second chance. Like I said in the other thread, your attitude will likely not get you far on here, so we'll see how long that lasts... But you get a pass for today in my book. To all the other regs: can we agree to let this thread (and the other intro) go if she tells us who PM'd her?

I like the way you think. Names for a fresh start.

Names and she has to agree not to wear pants whenever she wants to contribute to the board.

The no pants thing is strictly an S'13 thing!

Yeah, but she has some catching up to do if she wants to fit in to our "fancy" club.

averettgirl · January 2014

I would just give it up. You don't really get a second chance at a first impression IRL, much less on an Internet forum where people don't know you and therefore really couldn't care less about you once you screw up with your holier than thou attitude. Sooooo...Deuces. I'm not really a reg, But I've been visiting this forum since the beginning of my pregnancy. I'm not always able to post as much as I'd like to but the advice and support I've gotten here when I am able to post has been invaluable. It was because of these ladies that I bought a RnP for my little girl when she had reflux/sleep issues and its been a lifesaver. I'd never heard of one before I came here. You screwed yourself out of that same support that I've been fortunate to receive. Try another forum because as PP mentioned, the Bump doesn't forget. ETA: why in the hell is my avatar a wedding cake?

Mrs.AllyH · January 2014

Quack.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

averettgirl said:

I would just give it up. You don't really get a second chance at a first impression IRL, much less on an Internet forum where people don't know you and therefore really couldn't care less about you once you screw up with your holier than thou attitude. Sooooo...Deuces. I'm not really a reg, But I've been visiting this forum since the beginning of my pregnancy. I'm not always able to post as much as I'd like to but the advice and support I've gotten here when I am able to post has been invaluable. It was because of these ladies that I bought a RnP for my little girl when she had reflux/sleep issues and its been a lifesaver. I'd never heard of one before I came here. You screwed yourself out of that same support that I've been fortunate to receive. Try another forum because as PP mentioned, the Bump doesn't forget. ETA: why in the hell is my avatar a wedding cake?

@averettegirl, it knew cake would be delicious right now.

kgravil85 · January 2014

I agree with others that this has to be an AE. I'm just going to sit back and wait for her to white knight herself with a third AE. I mean really? No way anyone PM'd her. Also, I don't think anyone can be THAT oblivious to their behavior. (I should really learn how to mobile gif)

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

starscream said:

I just read the OP and I have no idea what happened here.

see thread titled "hello"

kimberlymacrae · January 2014

@VitaLuna is much more gracious than myself. You don't know me, I don't know you... but I have a special set of skills... I would have won "Best Memory" if that was a badge and I will always remember you insulting my friends and I. My friends are great at stalking so don't try and create another name and come back here... they'll find out. Then @JocelynB0911, @imakeeff0rts and @starscream (plus many others) will tell you where you can go. And don't try complaining to other boards about it because my friend @jdoud77 will find you... and we will sick our llamas with all their drama-ness on you.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

kimberlymacrae said:

@VitaLuna is much more gracious than myself. You don't know me, I don't know you... but I have a special set of skills... I would have won "Best Memory" if that was a badge and I will always remember you insulting my friends and I. My friends are great at stalking so don't try and create another name and come back here... they'll find out. Then @JocelynB0911, @imakeeff0rts and @starscream (plus many others) will tell you where you can go. And don't try complaining to other boards about it because my friend @jdoud77 will find you... and we will sick our llamas with all their drama-ness on you.

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