Hello

kirstenviola · January 2014

I don't know how you think I'm digging a deeper hole. I said I was sorry.

I don't know many moms in real life, and I've found this forum to be one of the most active for moms with babies my age. I don't want to leave, as many of you have suggested, I want to be a part of the group. I do think a lot of what you do is silly and self-inflating, but there are also serious discussions I'd like to be a part of. My initial comment about it being a fancy club was referencing your silly little awards and inside jokes. I don't know why that has to be such a big part of this forum. But aside from those frivolities, I do think this is a good place to connect with other women and find support, and I like that.

I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm merely pointing out that this forum isn't supposed to be like high school- full of popularity contests, "cool kids", silly declarations of love to people you've never even met in real life, and the like. Why can't we just be grown ups. If you ARE offended by this, I think you should take a good, long look in the mirror. The internet shouldn't be your whole life.

For now, I will take the good advice that was given and just start participating.

kirstenviola · January 2014

To add to what I just said, I think these silly pictures and videos you're posting to "put me in my place" are a clear sign of immaturity. Talk to me like a person, for goodness sake.

HBirdie · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

I don't know how you think I'm digging a deeper hole. I said I was sorry.

I don't know many moms in real life, and I've found this forum to be one of the most active for moms with babies my age. I don't want to leave, as many of you have suggested, I want to be a part of the group. I do think a lot of what you do is silly and self-inflating, but there are also serious discussions I'd like to be a part of. My initial comment about it being a fancy club was referencing your silly little awards and inside jokes. I don't know why that has to be such a big part of this forum. But aside from those frivolities, I do think this is a good place to connect with other women and find support, and I like that.

I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm merely pointing out that this forum isn't supposed to be like high school- full of popularity contests, "cool kids", silly declarations of love to people you've never even met in real life, and the like. Why can't we just be grown ups. If you ARE offended by this, I think you should take a good, long look in the mirror. The internet shouldn't be your whole life.

For now, I will take the good advice that was given and just start participating.

kirstenviola said:

To add to what I just said, I think these silly pictures and videos you're posting to "put me in my place" are a clear sign of immaturity. Talk to me like a person, for goodness sake.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

To add to what I just said, I think these silly pictures and videos you're posting to "put me in my place" are a clear sign of immaturity. Talk to me like a person, for goodness sake.

giving you what you want.

-we have spent the past year getting to know each other. a lot of us the majority of us are extremely close as in we talk via text/calls daily. Some of us have met in real life so theres that.

-We act silly, we have been there in good time, bad times, and everything in between. Almost all of these women have been there for me during a few scares during my pregnancy, reached out after I had my boys early, held me up while I was going through am dealing with my miscarriage. We take care of our own and will overshare if we please.

-We use gifs to make light of a stupid topic. Thats how its always been.

-Our "popularity contest" was another fun thing we did. I am not sure why you care about it.

-Just because we are adults doesnt mean we cant have fun. Our lives dont revolve around the internet. This is a place where we go to blow off steam, connect, talk about our kids with people we have a bond with.

-You say you want to connect with us but in the same breath put us down for connecting with one another. Tell me how that works.

Again, if you dont like how we do things here there are 19,189,118 other pregnancy and parenting forums out there. I am sure at least one of them will be super serious for you. Stop trying to make little digs at us but then say you want to stay. Its not going to go over well and you will continue to get called on it.

kirstenviola · January 2014

Obviously the silliness is up to you, do it if you want. I'm just hoping for deeper connections.

I don't really feel like it's right for everyone to be so rude to me. This is an open forum, after all. People share their opinions and disagree with each other all the time. I think the petty contests and silly fake affection stuff is a little strange, that's all. If that really bothers you, that's your own problem.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

Obviously the silliness is up to you, do it if you want. I'm just hoping for deeper connections.

I don't really feel like it's right for everyone to be so rude to me. This is an open forum, after all. People share their opinions and disagree with each other all the time. I think the petty contests and silly fake affection stuff is a little strange, that's all. If that really bothers you, that's your own problem.

Do you not have friends in real life? Have you ever had fun or been silly or have you always had a stick stuck up you ass? Serious question.

kirstenviola · January 2014

That's pretty rude. Why do you think comments like that are necessary JocelynB0911?

HBirdie · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

Obviously the silliness is up to you, do it if you want. I'm just hoping for deeper connections.

I don't really feel like it's right for everyone to be so rude to me. This is an open forum, after all. People share their opinions and disagree with each other all the time. I think the petty contests and silly fake affection stuff is a little strange, that's all. If that really bothers you, that's your own problem.

Okay. I'm done gif'ing for a moment to say real words.

It's incredibly rude for you to come onto our forum that we've been spending time on since our pregnancies, investing in, yes, real friendships, and saying the things you're saying. Just because you aren't part of the group yet (though I don't see much hope for you at this point), doesn't mean it isn't a legitimate group of friends. You keep saying you don't want to offend us and that you're not trying to be rude, yet in your next breath, you're putting us down, calling us petty and immature and silly. Does that REALLY not seem offensive to you? Really?? You're now commenting on other threads, being rude and condescending. Do you honestly think that's the way into our hearts? Do you believe this is you getting involved in a positive way? This is not going to end well, honey.

And to address the "this forum isn't supposed to be like high school" comment- this forum is whatever we make it. This forum is ours to discuss what we want, post gifs, have silly contests for fun, whatever. You can't come dictate that we aren't allowed to do those things. Get out if you don't like it.

Or actually just get out. That'd be fine, too.

Edited for words. and also because, come on. I'm never done giffffing.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

That's pretty rude. Why do you think comments like that are necessary JocelynB0911?

Do you want me to gif it out for you? You have been putting us down for being silly and having fun. Why the hell would you want to come on here to form connections with us if you dont like how we act. Clearly you didnt read anything I said above. Remove the stick, hunny, remove the stick.

HBirdie · January 2014

Ooh, she flagged you. That's interesting.

@kirstenviola, read the flag guidelines. Jocelyn did not go against the TOS.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

HBirdie said:

Ooh, she flagged you. That's interesting.

@kirstenviola, read the flag guidelines. Jocelyn did not go against the TOS.

let her keep flagging. Hopefully she'll get banned.

kirstenviola · January 2014

I flagged the comment and after reading the flag guidelines, I believe it fits- she is harassing me. Perhaps it'll teach her to think before she speaks.

HBirdie · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

I flagged the comment and after reading the flag guidelines, I believe it fits- she is harassing me. Perhaps it'll teach her to think before she speaks.

)

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

I flagged the comment and after reading the flag guidelines, I believe it fits- she is harassing me. Perhaps it'll teach her to think before she speaks.

HBirdie · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

That's pretty rude. Why do you think comments like that are necessary JocelynB0911?

qfp

VitaLuna · January 2014

((Pees on thread)) VitaLuna was here!

Seriously guys, why'd you have to do this to me when I have less than 5% battery left on my phone?!?

HBirdie · January 2014

VitaLuna said:

((Pees on thread)) VitaLuna was here! Seriously guys, why'd you have to do this to me when I have less than 5% battery left on my phone?!?

Get it together @VitaLuna! We need you!

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

VitaLuna said:

((Pees on thread)) VitaLuna was here! Seriously guys, why'd you have to do this to me when I have less than 5% battery left on my phone?!?

Get your charger and some popcorn.

HBirdie · January 2014

I'd love to share, but... I can't.

happybride 276 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:
To add to what I just said, I think these silly pictures and videos you're posting to "put me in my place" are a clear sign of immaturity. Talk to me like a person, for goodness sake.

I don't know why I even sleep. I missed a lot of the fun.

Here's the deal. Your coming off like a super bitch trying to enter a pregnancy group, months after we all have delivered, and tell us how we should act. I understand you don't like gifs so maybe pictures are slow enough for you. My little piece of advise is for you to stop posting here and go straight to the 3-6 board. They might want you there. We don't need anyone else here. If you don't like our posts and don't like our response to our insults you're better off (insert we are better off) without you. Oh, I also won "best advice" so you should tots listen to me.

mkb5g5 · January 2014

@kristenviola You really are a piece of work. You came out throwing blows and expect everyone to just accept you. Obviously our "little club" is too "fancy" for someone as tasteless as you. Save everyone any future headaches and just go back to lurking!

VitaLuna · January 2014

kirstenviola said:
I flagged the comment and after reading the flag guidelines, I believe it fits- she is harassing me. Perhaps it'll teach her to think before she speaks.

You're cute. Here, let me help you draft your next reply.

You: "I can't believe all you internet meanies. You don't know my lyfe! I thought this was a place for support. I feel sorry for your husbands and children. I'm never coming back here."

Me: BINGO! (Insert bye bye gif)

happybride 276 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:
I flagged the comment and after reading the flag guidelines, I believe it fits- she is harassing me. Perhaps it'll teach her to think before she speaks.

Really? Wow. Just stop. Leave already. Nobody is interested in doing anything but mocking you.

kirstenviola · January 2014

I just don't understand how this is fun for you. Wouldn't you rather just accept a newbie than spend all of your time bullying? I assume everyone here graduated third grade?

Let me say it again- I'm not trying to offend anyone. I want to be part of the group. There are some intelligent discussions here. I'm really not interested in the cutesy pictures and videos and the popularity contests, nor am I interested in this thread continuing.

HBirdie · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

I just don't understand how this is fun for you. Wouldn't you rather just accept a newbie than spend all of your time bullying? I assume everyone here graduated third grade?

Let me say it again- I'm not trying to offend anyone. I want to be part of the group. There are some intelligent discussions here. I'm really not interested in the cutesy pictures and videos and the popularity contests, nor am I interested in this thread continuing.

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

I just don't understand how this is fun for you. Wouldn't you rather just accept a newbie nope than spend all of your time bullying? I dont think you really knwo what that word means.I assume everyone here graduated third grade?

Let me say it again- I'm not trying to offend anyone. Lies. You are being extremely condescending in other threads. How is that not offensive? I want to be part of the group. Again, stop being condescending. Although I think it too late for that. There are some intelligent discussions here. I'm really not interested in the cutesy pictures and videos and the popularity contests, nor am I interested in this thread continuing. "Cutesy pictures and videos" are what we do. This thread will continue until we let it die. You came onto our playground trying to change the rules. It ain't gonna happen. We are an established community. You dont just run in here wanting to be a part of it whilst throwing backhanded remarks out. This is tame compared to what it could will be. Bottom line. We dont want you. Its been months since we have had our babies. Why do you just want to jump in now?

VitaLuna · January 2014

Seriously, OP.. I don't think you're getting it. You can't expect everyone to welcome you with open arms when you tell us you want so bad to participate, but you think the fun stuff is lame, we are disgusting, childish, etc. Does that truly not make sense to you? I'm scratching my head. I think @JocelynB 0911 hit the nail on the head when she asked if you had friends IRL. You seem to have a poor understanding of relationships and functioning socially in general.

kirstenviola · January 2014

I'm not being condescending at all. Just sharing my opinions and advice. I thought that's what you were supposed to do. I was encouraged to jump in and participate, yet now you tear me down for it? That doesn't make sense. Be consistent.

Of course there is a place for frivolity. Do whatever you want. I just don't want to be a part of it and was stating my opinion that those things seemed silly and unnecessary to me. Obviously I shouldn't have done that, I've offended your sensitive feelings.

Yes, I have friends in real life. As I stated earlier, I don't have many friends with babies. I had an easy, blessed pregnancy and didn't feel the need to be part of this forum at that time, but now that I have a child, I find that I want to discuss child-related things and this seems like the place to do it.

Let's wipe the slate clean. We're all adults, I assume. Can we just move on?

JocelynB0911 · January 2014

kirstenviola said:

I'm not being condescending at all. Just sharing my opinions and advice. I thought that's what you were supposed to do. I was encouraged to jump in and participate, yet now you tear me down for it? That doesn't make sense. Be consistent.

Of course there is a place for frivolity. Do whatever you want. I just don't want to be a part of it and was stating my opinion that those things seemed silly and unnecessary to me. Obviously I shouldn't have done that, I've offended your sensitive feelings. Condescending.

Yes, I have friends in real life. As I stated earlier, I don't have many friends with babies. I had an easy, blessed pregnancy and didn't feel the need to be part of this forum at that time, but now that I have a child, I find that I want to discuss child-related things and this seems like the place to do it.

Let's wipe the slate clean. We're all adults, I assume.Condescending Can we just move on?

You keep saying you want to wipe the slate clean but you are still acting like a brat. Seriously, stop trying to be a special snowflake that thinks you can come into a room full of strangers, say what you want, and not get called on it.

mkb5g5 · January 2014

Moving on is hard with sensitive feelings, ya know?

VitaLuna · January 2014

No no, you see, even if we ignored this thread, you've already shown your true colors in your few replies to others. You didn't accidentally mis-step here, that seems like it's just your personality. Your little jab about having the perfect pregnancy and not needing to be a part of the group is a prime example. Participate if you want, that's up to you, but your shittyazz holier than thou attitude will always be a problem for you here.

HBirdie · January 2014

CDMay2006 · January 2014

Are you seriously for real? You are either a fantastic troll or have NO social skills. Or compassion.

In case anyone missed it:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/79327374/#Comment_79327374

kirstenviola said:
Some of these are pretty obvious, but I did learn a few new tricks. Thanks!

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/79327316/#Comment_79327316

kirstenviola said:
That's a bummer. Guess you should've checked that! I'm a really good cook so I can't think of a good story, but my husband can't even make popcorn without burning it. Not pleasant. I just don't let him hang out in the kitchen.

And the worst i've read:
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/79327299/#Comment_79327299

kirstenviola said:
Temporary unhappiness is no reason to end a marriage. Give it more time, and try counseling. Much better than letting your poor baby end up being from a broken home. Good luck.

HBirdie · January 2014

^yep. But she's not at ALL condescending.

HBirdie · January 2014

Is she gone?

KMD1106 · January 2014

OP you want less goofy and more serious, here you go.

You say you've been lurking, so you should know:
- who has a thriving early term premie
- who had scares at their 20 week AS
- who had babies in the nicu
- who has a baby that just has surgery
- who has parents that just passed away

These are all things that we know about each other because we have taken the time to get to know each other over the past year. I'm not one to post gifs (not really sure how), but I know these ladies will offer me laughs and support because I have spent the last year getting to know them. Would you walk into a room of friends saying the things you have typed in this thread? Because that is basically what you just did.

KMD1106 · January 2014

AbbyMMM said:
@CDMay2006 thanks for posting. I have decided she is either an intentional troll or a troll has stolen her heart. Cause it's gone.

If this is the case, I found a better group for her to join.

noelani42 · January 2014

Wow

HBirdie · January 2014

KMD1106 said:

@CDMay2006 thanks for posting. I have decided she is either an intentional troll or a troll has stolen her heart. Cause it's gone.
If this is the case, I found a better group for her to join.

I'm dying. I LOVED these things as a kid and played with them all the time. They were the closest thing I had to dolls. I wasn't very girly.

I still have a special one in Caleb's nursery. My 7th grade geography teacher (a really amazing man and teacher) had a heart attack at school and died the second to last day of the year. He had a huge glass case of troll dolls of all varieties in his classroom, and I got to keep one after they were all displayed at his memorial service. It's really special to me.

313Meg · January 2014

Oh boy what fun did I miss!! Listen op, I became more active later in the game but have since gotten to know these amazing ladies who we have shared fun, sadness, exhaustion, fears, excitement, laughter, frustration... you get the point. I didn't come in waving a flag of rudeness, in fact I don't think anyone has posted anything close to an intro like that. We don't offend each other, yes we are honest but not demeaning like you. You have no right coming in here making assumptions of what we are or are not as you don't know. Reading threads for a couple days or even weeks just gives you a glimpse of the last year. Get off your damn high horse, or maybe ride that horse out.

I don't gif on mobile so I hope this is mature enough for you to understand, you are rude. You don't know us so you can take your less than fancy assumptions elsewhere. We have gotten a glimpse into each others lives and seen how amazing and hard this pregnancy and parenting thing is. These ladies are my friends wether it be internet or in person and I would love an opportunity to meet them. You are not invited. Ill be nice... please leave.

K. Bye.

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