Names

TJ1979 · January 2014

So mh and I are having a really rough time with names. There is one name we both really like, but it his ex's name. Would that be weird?
His family had met her, so they would likely recognize the name as well. I don't feel super awkward about it, but I wonder how others like his family and friends will feel. Would they feel awkward and wonder if I know?
WWYD?

pinkmickey24 · January 2014

I think if you both like it use it. I don't think family members will pay that much attention and if they do I don't think they will care. They will have a new association with the name. If, DH is comfortable with it I say go for it.

TJ1979 · January 2014

LeahB12 said:
If you two don't feel weird about it, then use it. Now I need to know what the name is. Please share

We don't share names till babies are born. But it's a state name. So that narrows it down. And not a common one. We still aren't sure, it's just the first one we have both liked.

TJ1979 · January 2014

Thanks for sharing @mrslee04!

LeoLauren · January 2014

MrsLee04 said:

TJ1979 said:

Would they feel awkward and wonder if I know?

Yes.

DH has a cousin who named her son after an ex. We wondered for years if her DH knew. It did finally come up with him once.....I think he said something about it and we were like oh so you did know? He said yes and blew it off, and it probably isn't a big deal to them, but would someone think about it and wonder? Well, we definitely did. (But we don't honestly care....we were just like, hmmmm?)

My sister named her son after an ex boyfriend and never told her now ex husband. I think it was the ultimate insult to him bc she knew they would get a divorce after the baby was born and now it's like the family's private joke bc we all couldn't stand him. If you both like it tho and know what's what - I would go for it!

phishgirl29 · January 2014

I wouldn't but I'm weird about things like that. Is there a variation of the name you could use?

ccam · January 2014

I guess it all depends on the name. If it's something popular and common, they probably won't think twice. But if it's something unusual, it could sound like you're naming your LO after her.

Personally, I would probably wonder if you knew. But if you love the name and it doesn't bother you, then go for it!

PennyLane26 · January 2014

My B and SIL loved the name of his ex and almost used it for their daughter (though they ended up going with another name). For the record, he was previously engaged to his ex and that may have been the reason they ended up going in a different direction but his wife was the one that pointed out that it was the name of his ex when they shared their list of possible names and she didn't seemed bothered by it.

I think it shows a strong marital relationship if you can disassociate it with bad memories! As a teacher, I hate when fellow teachers claim they can't name their child "so and so" because it reminds them of a horrible student. Your child is going to be one of a kind and can't compare to anyone else, even if they have the same name! You go, girl.

Robeano · January 2014

That's a tough one, if it was my hubby I'd say heck no. But his ex was a bit crazy and what not. But if it boils down to you really liking the name, go for it. It's something your little girl will have her whole life, people might raise eyebrows at first but it will become her name and it won't matter anymore

kaf7 · January 2014

I personally wouldn't use an ex's name. But I agree with pp about whether its a common name or not. I'm going to guess that if it is a state name its not that common.

mdiblasi10 · January 2014

I personally wouldn't do it either, but that's because I know it would bother me. If it doesn't bother you or YH, then go for it!

Cwhitaker27 · January 2014

I personally wouldnt want to name my chold after DH's ex but that being said....If you both really like it, go for it! Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. They'll get over it.

(as I sit here reciting all the state names in my head)

queenbone · January 2014

I only think it matters how you feel about it. Initially his people will associate the name with his ex (if at all) but within a year's time that association would fade away and they will only associate it with your daughter.

I really wanted to use the name Fiona, but since was an ex of DH's (even though she went by her MN instead,) he said no to it.

(

LeoLauren · January 2014

Montana! Georgia! New Mexico?

BabyKsMommy · January 2014

Carolina? Georgia?

And it would depend on how serious the relationship was and even how it ended.

I agree with pp first family will probably associate it with the ex but then it will become your LOs name only.

TJ1979 · January 2014

So it was only a HS girlfriend. Serious enough they went to prom and he still has pics of her in his keepsake box. But they weren't engaged or anything. No one has guessed it yet

but I'm still not 100% sold on the idea. Thanks for all your input though. It has definitely given me something to think about.

Ruthie04 · January 2014

My sister is named after my dad's old GF. I think the bigger problem was that my mom didn't know about my sister's namesake until her toddlerhood. Whoops! I say go for it if you are okay with it.

MoFree · January 2014

Please, not Mississippi.

Millie1984 · January 2014

I would feel a little weird about it, especially if it was not a common name. A name that is really unique may have a stronger association with the ex, because its the only person people know of with that name, KWIM? Just my 2 cents. On the other hand, if you and your husband are both fine with it and like the name, thats really what matters.

TJ1979 · January 2014

@chiwifey and @ducky719 That's what kind of baffles me about this. I am typically very jealous as well. I can't even have a fb account because (Among other reasons) I would constantly be wondering who these girls are commenting on his wall or whatever.
But for some reason, I'm totally unbothered by this. Maybe bc it was so long ago? I just don't want his whole family talking about it behind my back and feeling sorry for me, wondering I I have any idea.

Mnerani · January 2014

I was going to ask when they were dating and how serious it was, but you answered my question. HS was SO long ago and they weren't engaged, etc. It personally wouldn't bother me if it was the name of a teenage GF, and it would bother me if it was an adult GF.

Cwhitaker27 · January 2014

TJ1979 said:
So it was only a HS girlfriend. Serious enough they went to prom and he still has pics of her in his keepsake box. But they weren't engaged or anything. No one has guessed it yet but I'm still not 100% sold on the idea. Thanks for all your input though. It has definitely given me something to think about.

So if we guess it are you gonna tell us

My guess is Nebraska!

laura1 · January 2014

I wouldn't be able to do it, but I am also the jealous type! But my DH wouldn't want to name any of his kids after an ex either - he broke up with them for a reason, and had bad associations with the name. I did like one of his ex's names and brought it up without thinking about it, and he TOTALLY shot it down fast.

But my guess is Arizona

Eve_Angelique · January 2014

@MrsLee04: Virginia made me giggle! A friend was just telling me the other day how she used to hate her middle name, she dropped it when she got married. But she was telling me how when she was younger she would tell people that it began with a V and it was a state. She said lots of people guessed Vermont!

As for TJ, I say go for it if is a name that you do end up falling in love with!

mcgeeva · January 2014

I think its fine to use. If it bothered you it would be a different story. Like naming my son Sean after my long term ex who tried to propose when DH did...over his dead body

kbeach82 · January 2014

I wouldn't use it, but that's just me. I would literally think of her every time I said my kid's name, just because that is where my mind goes. But if you like it, and it doesn't bother you, then use it!

We didn't share the twins' names until after they were born and no one guessed either of them! It was so much fun keeping everyone in suspense :-)

Julie21613 · January 2014

Charlotte (I know its not a state, but thinking maybe)????

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