Success after IF

Names

So mh and I are having a really rough time with names. There is one name we both really like, but it his ex's name. Would that be weird?
His family had met her, so they would likely recognize the name as well. I don't feel super awkward about it, but I wonder how others like his family and friends will feel. Would they feel awkward and wonder if I know?
WWYD?
TTC with PCOS since November 2009
IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
beta #2 11/28 = 2055
Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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Re: Names

  • I think if you both like it use it. I don't think family members will pay that much attention and if they do I don't think they will care. They will have a new association with the name. If, DH is comfortable with it I say go for it.
    ~TTC since July 2010~
    CD3 Bloodwork:Normal 
    HSG-Clear 
    SA:Low Morph 
    IVF with ICSI #1: ER 12/16 (4 ER/3 Mature/0 Fertilized) 
    IVF with ICSI #2: ER 5/17 (4 ER/4 Mature/3 Fertilized)/ET 5/20 (2 embryos transferred)-BFN 
    IVF with PICSI #3: ER 9/8 (11 ER/8 Mature/7 Fertilized)/ET 9/13 (2 AA blastocysts transferred) 
    Beta#1, 9/26/12: 719 Beta#2, 9/28/12: 1,436 Beta#3, 10/1/12: 3,446
    1st u/s on 10/10/12: It's Twins! We found out on 12/16/12 that we were having two BOYS!
    C & D were born on 5/16/13 at 10:46 am and 10:47 am


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  • TJ1979TJ1979 member
    edited January 2014
    LeahB12 said:

    If you two don't feel weird about it, then use it. Now I need to know what the name is. Please share :)

    We don't share names till babies are born. But it's a state name. So that narrows it down. And not a common one. We still aren't sure, it's just the first one we have both liked.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • Thanks for sharing @mrslee04!
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • MrsLee04 said:
    TJ1979 said:
     Would they feel awkward and wonder if I know?
    Yes.

    DH has a cousin who named her son after an ex.  We wondered for years if her DH knew.  It did finally come up with him once.....I think he said something about it and we were like oh so you did know?  He said yes and blew it off, and it probably isn't a big deal to them, but would someone think about it and wonder?  Well, we definitely did.  (But we don't honestly care....we were just like, hmmmm?)

    My sister named her son after an ex boyfriend and never told her now ex husband. I think it was the ultimate insult to him bc she knew they would get a divorce after the baby was born and now it's like the family's private joke bc we all couldn't stand him. If you both like it tho and know what's what - I would go for it!
    Me: 34 - low ovarian reserve
    DH: 40 - no issues  

    3 failed IUI's 

    IVF #1 3/12 - 13 eggs, 9 fertilized,  2 transferred (1 grade 2 blast, 1 early blast), no frosties, 3/30/12 - 9dp5dt spotting, BFNs

    IVF #2. 7/12 - 18 days of stims, 3 mature eggs, 3 fertilized (ICSI), 3 transferred (9, 8, 7 cell) on day 3.  First beta - 8/21/12 = 105, beta #2 - 8/23/12 = 268, beta #3 - 8/30/12 = 2,352. 2nd u/s - 9/4/12. Baby Boy born 5/1/2013.

    IVF #3 Now (12/13). AMH is very low - 0.19. ER (12/5) 12 eggs, 10 mature, 7 fertilized using ICSI. 3 transferred (8,8,8 cell - all grade 2) on day 3. First beta - 12/21/13 = 126, beta #2 - 12/23/13 = 400, beta #3 - na (office was closed for new year's). First sonogram - TWINS aka OMG! -  


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  • I wouldn't but I'm weird about things like that. Is there a variation of the name you could use?

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    IVF #1 September 2012, beta #1: 213; beta #2: 580. Expecting Twins! 
    EDD 6/9 lost one angel at 9w3d :( 
    Baby boy arrived 6/1/13
    FET #1 10/14, BFP -Chemical Pregnancy :(
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  • I guess it all depends on the name.  If it's something popular and common, they probably won't think twice.  But if it's something unusual, it could sound like you're naming your LO after her.

    Personally, I would probably wonder if you knew.  But if you love the name and it doesn't bother you, then go for it! 

    ___________________________________________________________________________

    Trying for #1 since May 2010   l   DX ~ Unexplained Infertility June 2011

    IUI #1&2 = BFN; IUI #3 = BFP, m/c @ 6 weeks

    November '11 ~ IVF#1 ~ ER 11/18 (29R, 17F) ~ 5dt of one beautiful blast on 11/23 = BFP!!

    Beta #1 9dp5dt = 116, P4 = 28 ~ Beta #2 13dp5dt = 700 ~ Beta #3 20dp5dt = 9500, P4 = 26

    1st u/s 12/27 - hb of 156!! EDD 8.10.12 :)   **TEAM GREEN!**

    Sweet baby boy born 8.18.12

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    Trying for #2

    FET #1 - October '13 - c/p   l   FET #2 - December '13 - cancelled :(   l   FET #2.2 - 1.30.14 - BFN

    ~ More testing - hysteroscopy, endometrial biopsy & more b/w - all normal / negative~

    Surprise BFP while waiting on FET #3 ~ beta #1 500; beta #2 1600; first u/s 4/3 - measuring 5w5d, no hb yet!; 2nd u/s 4/10 - hb 132, measuring 6w6d - EDD 11.29.14 :)    **TEAM GREEN!**

    Beautiful baby girl born 11.24.14

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  • My B and SIL loved the name of his ex and almost used it for their daughter (though they ended up going with another name). For the record, he was previously engaged to his ex and that may have been the reason they ended up going in a different direction but his wife was the one that pointed out that it was the name of his ex when they shared their list of possible names and she didn't seemed bothered by it. 

    I think it shows a strong marital relationship if you can disassociate it with bad memories! As a teacher, I hate when fellow teachers claim they can't name their child "so and so" because it reminds them of a horrible student. Your child is going to be one of a kind and can't compare to anyone else, even if they have the same name! You go, girl. :)
    dx: MFI 0% morph & low count. Occasional Anovulatory cycles.

    TTC #1
    • IVF #1 4/21/12 - c/p
    • IVF#2 8/1/12 - BFP! DD arrived 4/10/2013.

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    TTC #2
    • FET #1 3/18/14 - BFP! DS arrived 11/19/2014.

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  • That's a tough one, if it was my hubby I'd say heck no. But his ex was a bit crazy and what not. But if it boils down to you really liking the name, go for it. It's something your little girl will have her whole life, people might raise eyebrows at first but it will become her name and it won't matter anymore :)
    Diagonsed PCOS TTC since May 2009
    First M/C December 2010 Second M/C August 2011
    Oct 2011~Second round clomid 50 mg; BFN
    Nov 2011~Third round clomid 50 mg: BFP
    Dec 11- Beta #1 91;Dec 13- Beta #2 186.2
    Dec 27- third miscarriage
    May 25th- Beta #1 369;May 27th- Beta #2 798
    Baby girl born Jan 23, 9lbs 3oz, 21 1/2" long
    May 27th-Beta #1 80; May 29th- Beta #2 304; May 31st- Beta #3 860
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  • I personally wouldn't use an ex's name. But I agree with pp about whether its a common name or not. I'm going to guess that if it is a state name its not that common.
  • I personally wouldn't do it either, but that's because I know it would bother me. If it doesn't bother you or YH, then go for it! :)
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility

    TTC #1 
    IUI's #1 - #3 Clomid = BFN's, IUI #4 Follistim = BFP
    Grayson arrived via emergency c-section on 7/28/12!

    TTC #2 
    IUI's #1 - #4 Follistim = BFN's
    IVF #1 w/ ICSI + PGS: Lupron/Follistim/Menopur
    ER 4/13 - 19R, 13F, 4 PGS tested embryos, 1 normal
    5/14 FET: BFP. Beta #1: 123, Beta #2: 327, Beta #3: 854
    Cora arrived 1/23/15 via RCS!
  • I personally wouldnt want to name my chold after DH's ex but that being said....If you both really like it, go for it! Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. They'll get over it.

    (as I sit here reciting all the state names in my head)
    image DS 7.6.2011 TTC#2
  • I only think it matters how you feel about it. Initially his people will associate the name with his ex (if at all) but within a year's time that association would fade away and they will only associate it with your daughter.

    I really wanted to use the name Fiona, but since was an ex of DH's (even though she went by her MN instead,) he said no to it.
    :((
    Married 9-4-04

    ***PM me for my IF history***

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  • Montana! Georgia! New Mexico? ;)
    Me: 34 - low ovarian reserve
    DH: 40 - no issues  

    3 failed IUI's 

    IVF #1 3/12 - 13 eggs, 9 fertilized,  2 transferred (1 grade 2 blast, 1 early blast), no frosties, 3/30/12 - 9dp5dt spotting, BFNs

    IVF #2. 7/12 - 18 days of stims, 3 mature eggs, 3 fertilized (ICSI), 3 transferred (9, 8, 7 cell) on day 3.  First beta - 8/21/12 = 105, beta #2 - 8/23/12 = 268, beta #3 - 8/30/12 = 2,352. 2nd u/s - 9/4/12. Baby Boy born 5/1/2013.

    IVF #3 Now (12/13). AMH is very low - 0.19. ER (12/5) 12 eggs, 10 mature, 7 fertilized using ICSI. 3 transferred (8,8,8 cell - all grade 2) on day 3. First beta - 12/21/13 = 126, beta #2 - 12/23/13 = 400, beta #3 - na (office was closed for new year's). First sonogram - TWINS aka OMG! -  


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  • BabyKsMommyBabyKsMommy member
    edited January 2014
    Carolina? Georgia?

    And it would depend on how serious the relationship was and even how it ended.

    I agree with pp first family will probably associate it with the ex but then it will become your LOs name only.
    Diagnosed MFI- low sperm count  
    DS-Born 7/27/11 After 2 years of IF we have our little man
    TTC#2 January 2013
    11 Medicated cycles gave us
    B/G Twins born 10/8/14 @ 32 weeks
  • So it was only a HS girlfriend. Serious enough they went to prom and he still has pics of her in his keepsake box. But they weren't engaged or anything. No one has guessed it yet ;) but I'm still not 100% sold on the idea. Thanks for all your input though. It has definitely given me something to think about.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • My sister is named after my dad's old GF. I think the bigger problem was that my mom didn't know about my sister's namesake until her toddlerhood. Whoops! I say go for it if you are okay with it.
    TTC in 2009, Dx: Unexplained IF
    Three TI cycles (BFP...miscarriage), five IUI attempts and 2.5 IVF cycles later...BFP!!
    12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
    Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!! 








  • Please, not Mississippi. :D
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

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  • I would feel a little weird about it, especially if it was not a common name.  A name that is really unique may have a stronger association with the ex, because its the only person people know of with that name, KWIM?  Just my 2 cents.  On the other hand, if you and your husband are both fine with it and like the name, thats really what matters.
    After 1.5 years TTC, IUI #2= BFP 12/2/12

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  • @chiwifey and @ducky719 That's what kind of baffles me about this. I am typically very jealous as well. I can't even have a fb account because (Among other reasons) I would constantly be wondering who these girls are commenting on his wall or whatever.
    But for some reason, I'm totally unbothered by this. Maybe bc it was so long ago? I just don't want his whole family talking about it behind my back and feeling sorry for me, wondering I I have any idea.
    TTC with PCOS since November 2009
    IUI#1 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP, m/c
    IUI#2 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 5-9) = BFN
    IUI#3 Femara/Ovidrel (cd 3-7) = BFP!
    beta #1 11/23 = 270, P4 = 75
    beta #2 11/28 = 2055
    Our daughter E was born 7/29/2012!
    Surprise, our 2nd daughter P was born 5/22/14!
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  • I was going to ask when they were dating and how serious it was, but you answered my question. HS was SO long ago and they weren't engaged, etc. It personally wouldn't bother me if it was the name of a teenage GF, and it would bother me if it was an adult GF.
    DH and I are Americans living an adventure in Kenya since 2011
    DX: PCOS (annovulatory)
    Feb 2012: IUI #1 w/ only 1M sperm and a single follie = BFP! 
    Nov 2012: Little buddy born in Kenya
    Nov 2013: Trying for a second, still w PCOS
    Dec 2013: IUI cycle canceled for non-response
    Jan 2014: Break cycle BFP!

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  • TJ1979 said:

    So it was only a HS girlfriend. Serious enough they went to prom and he still has pics of her in his keepsake box. But they weren't engaged or anything. No one has guessed it yet ;) but I'm still not 100% sold on the idea. Thanks for all your input though. It has definitely given me something to think about.

    So if we guess it are you gonna tell us
    ;)
    My guess is Nebraska!
    image DS 7.6.2011 TTC#2
  • I wouldn't be able to do it, but I am also the jealous type!  But my DH wouldn't want to name any of his kids after an ex either - he broke up with them for a reason, and had bad associations with the name.  I did like one of his ex's names and brought it up without thinking about it, and he TOTALLY shot it down fast.  
    But my guess is Arizona ;)
    TTC#1 = Success on Cycle#19 with Clomid/trigger/b2b IUIs; beta#1 (15dpiui) 200, #2 (18dpiui) 433, #3 (22dpiui) 2356; TTC#2 = Surprise BFP 9/2009; TTC#3 = m/c at 6 wks, 10/29/11; BFP#2 4/1/2012... Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @MrsLee04: Virginia made me giggle! A friend was just telling me the other day how she used to hate her middle name, she dropped it when she got married. But she was telling me how when she was younger she would tell people that it began with a V and it was a state. She said lots of people guessed Vermont! :)

    As for TJ, I say go for it if is a name that you do end up falling in love with!
    TTC since August 2009
    Clomid for 6 cycles starting August 2010- O but no BFP
    SA Septemeber 2010 Looking good 
    HSG September 2010 All clear 
    1st RE visit May 2011 - IUI#1 June 20, 2011: BFN
    IUI #2 July 31 2011: BFP - m/c @ 5w1d
    Surprise BFP on a break cycle 10/4/11, Due June 4, 2012, Born 6/9/2012
    TTC Blog
    TTC#2 : Cycles 1-3 Protocol 1500mg Metformin Daily, Femara + Ovidrel, Progresterone support 
    HSG#2 November 2013 All clear
    Cycle 4 Metformin, Femara, Bravelle, Ovidrel, Progesterone = BFP
    Little Lady Born 8/28/2014
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  • I think its fine to use. If it bothered you it would be a different story. Like naming my son Sean after my long term ex who tried to propose when DH did...over his dead body

    Married: 5/09 ~ TTC Since: 10/10 ~ PCOS ~ Progesterone from 10/10 - 2/11 ~ HSG on 3/18 - Clear ~ Started Metformin 1000mg & Clomid 50mg 2/11 ~ Metformin upped to 1500mg 4/6 ~ 6/7 Now going to SG and put on Clomid, Ovidrel, Gonal F, Prometrium, Estrace ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP!!!!!! March 6th our little man was born. 

    6/17/13 - Ovidrel, Follistim, Prometrium ~ IUI #1 7/2 = BFP! March 17th our St. Pattys day baby arrived

    10/29/17 - Started process for IVF, got pregnant & miscarried a 2nd time since summer. 2/22 started stims - Menopur, Gonal F, Cetrotide - retrieval 3/6 - , PIO, estrace 3xday - FET 4/18 = Beta 1: 616; Beta 2: 1342 = BFP 

  • I wouldn't use it, but that's just me. I would literally think of her every time I said my kid's name, just because that is where my mind goes. But if you like it, and it doesn't bother you, then use it!

    We didn't share the twins' names until after they were born and no one guessed either of them! It was so much fun keeping everyone in suspense :-)

     

    DX: DOR and MFI 

     

    IVF w/ICSI brought us our 1st precious miracle

    V born via induction 4.29.11

    TTC #2: IVF (MDLF) August/September 2012

    ER 9/7: 6R, 5M, 4F ET 9/12: 5dt of 2 blasts 

    +HPT 9/17! Beta #1 (9/25) = 1,000 Beta #2 (9/27) = 1,860 U/S #1 (10/11)...TWINS!

    1/8/13 - It's a..boy and a girl!!   

     

    S&B born via induction 5.8.13

     

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  • Charlotte (I know its not a state, but thinking maybe)????
    Me 35, DH 36
    TTC summer 2008
    Diagnose me. DOR, DH perfect
    IUI # 1 6/2010, BFN
    IUI # 2 8/2010, BFN
    IVF # 1 10/2010 Canceled poor response
    IVF 1.2 12/2010 BFP! mc 6 weeks 2 days
    Mental health break for 10 months
    IVF # 2 10/2011 BFN
    IVF # 3 5/2012 BFP! 10 eggs retrieved (best ever)
    7 fertilized transferred 3
    Beta #1 14dpo - 72, Beta #2 17dpo 145 Beta 3 20dpo 521
    First u/s June 15 saw HB 126 bpm missed m/c 7/5/12 10 weeks D&C 7/6/12
    IVF#4 ER 9/30 ET 10/3 Beta 10/16 BFFN. IVF #5 final with o/e. ER 1/21 only 1 retrieved, hoping my lonestar is the one. Beta #1 2/6/13 = 209.... please let this be it! Keep growing lonestar! Beta #2 2/8/13 - 586! , Beta #3 2/10/13 = 1898. First u/s perfect little heart beat at 116 bpm. Measure 6 weeks 1 day. EDD 10/14/13
    3/4/13 measuring right on track beautiful heartbeat 171 bpm, graduated from RE to OB... bittersweet.
    PAIF/SAIF always welcome! Its a girl! 

    Maggie Grace is here!  10/5/13... 8lbs 6 ounces of pure joy!

    TTC#2  No birth control since DD was born.  Getting ready to jump back in the saddle.  Weaning this month. RE
    appt scheduled 5/8.   Here we go again!

    IFV# 6.  10/27  6 retrieved 4 mature 3 fertilized.  2 made it to 3dt 10/30. 1"very pretty 8 cell" and 1 6 cell.  Beta
    11/13.   Please stick embies!!!!  We love you so much already! 11/12/14  POAS, BFP... beta tomorrow!
    11/13 beta #1  924!!!  2nd bet 11/15 1906, one more on 11/17 3rd & final beta 3430.  First u/s 12/5, 7w4d, 2 heartbeats,
    both measuring right on track....2nd u/s... all is well... both beans measuring right on track... released from RE... first
    appointment with MFM 1/5.  Looks like this is really happening!

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