One gift or two? — The Bump
Pre-School

One gift or two?

This is the first year we are having a party for the boys with friends from school. We just received a gift for each boy from one of their classmates who isn't able to make their party. But they will be going to her party next week. Should we get her a gift from each of our boys or one gift from the two of them?  Up until now most of the birthday parties we've gone to have been for close friends. We usually get one gift from the boys to whoever is having the party because we are generally invited to their siblings' parties too so I figure it all evens out. But we won't be going to sibling parties for preschool friends so I guess it seems more fair to get two gifts. At the same time, I foresee going to birthdays to get pretty expensive if we buy two gifts each time.  WDYT? 
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Re: One gift or two?

  • One gift, but maybe spend a couple bucks more than you usually do
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  • I'd either do 2 gifts or 1 bigger gift. FWIW, I spend about $10-15 on classmate gifts.
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  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    edited January 2014
    I usually do something that is from both of them but costs the amount of what 2 gifts would be (based upon how much ppl tend to spend around here on gifts at this age)... so sometimes that is one more expensive thing or it might be 1 larger & 1 smaller that adds up to that amt, etc. I think ppl understand. Unless your kids really want to individually pick something out, that would be different.  I just feel like I can buy the child something nicer if I pool the $. It may seem more expensive, but if you had 2 siblings of different ages & they were going to classmates' parties separately, you'd be spending the same amount... plus all the kids will likely bring them each their own gift for their bday party so those parents will be buying 2 gifts for your kids.
  • Angela814 said:

    I'd either do 2 gifts or 1 bigger gift. FWIW, I spend about $10-15 on classmate gifts.

    Two gifts or one bigger gift.





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  • I would let each of your boys pick out a small gift to give.

    I kind of like the idea of helping your boys understand that they are each, individually picking out and giving a gift for their friend.  Let each of them be responsible for making a choice, but limit the gift they give to something smaller.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Ugh - this is why I love no-gift parties!!
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  • I'm all very new to this, but I say just spend the amount you would typically spend on a gift for a kid's birthday party.  I don't see gifts as 'paying someone back' or 'tit for tat'.  I mean so far we have done 'no gift' parties, most of our friends and family do not do it this way, but I don't feel they owe us something because we brought gifts to their party and we do 'no gift parties'.  If anyone is keeping track then that's on them, I wouldn't worry.  Spend what you are comfortable spending, because you are right it will get expensive! 
  • One more thing, I used to nanny for a family and at the time they just had one little boy.  Their neighbors had twins and they would go to each others parties.  When the boy I nannied for had his birthday the mother of the twins always gave noticeably more than the other families.  I remember the woman I worked for saying she felt bad because it seemed like she spent so much because she felt she had to repay the two gifts she had to buy for her twins.  So at least in this mother's mind she didn't feel she needed a comparable gift for her one child.    
  • I think one bigger gift or two is the right thing to do.  The party parent is paying for your two children, it would be kind of grimy for kids to show up to your kid's party with 1 gift for them to share right?  
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