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May 2014 Moms
Is it okay to have a shower for baby #2?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is it okay to have a shower for baby #2?
I hate you because "your" a teacher who doesn't know the proper use of your/you're.
I hate you because I'm a teacher who does know the difference. It pains me to end a sentence in a preposition even though our spoken language does it all the time. And I teach music. Not grammar, not English/Language Arts, music. You should know these things no matter what you teach. You're airing your ignorance.
I hate you because having a second shower within 2 years is dumb and you don't know it.
And I hate you because you decided to get /didn't prevent getting pregnant and now expect everyone else to pay for it. Live within your means, like the rest of us.
And I hate you because you were mean to @camrynnsmommy . And I like her.
1) you already made a registry. That's fine. Buy stuff yourself off of it and get your discount code. If anyone asks you I they can buy you a gift, (I would say no thanks we got it covered) I know some family members can be pushy and insist on buying something then tell them about your registry.
2) you absolutely don't need to have two of all those things that you mentioned. Maybe a double stroller. Can the stroller you have maybe include a kick board? Idk, maybe that's too unstable for a 2/2.5 yr old. But something to think about before you invest another $500 in a stroller. Move that changing table to the nursery. Walk to the other room when your 2 yr old has a diaper change.
3) your mom is absolutely right. People don't do that.
4) it's always bad when you throw your own shower. First or not. Calling it jack and Jill doesn't make it more acceptable.
My cousin had her second baby which was the same sex at 4 years apart. It was a sprinkle so we just basically brought diapers and wipes. Cheap clothes. I'll be honest, it was kinda sad. I think people who were there (which weren't many) felt awkward an obligated to be there. NOBODY bought anything from a registry or bought big ticket items.
If you've stretched yourself beyond your means, it's time to shop consignment shops, garage sales, and craigslist for second hand items. Expecting family and friends to fund your "wish list" of items for baby #2 is absurd. This makes you sound like a spoiled, entitled brat. The way you reacted to everyone's honest feedback only reinforces that.
I don't have the time to read through all the posts, so this may be redundant. You can't expect your family and friends to buy you all the baby stuff you claim you "need." And by the way, you don't NEED a second changing table, a Diaper Genie, fancy matching bedding, a second full-size high chair, new, never-been-worn clothes, a fancy new (not used) stroller... If you can't afford to buy the things that you want yourself, then pair down, only get the necessities, and buy used. Really nice second-hand baby stuff is plentiful and much more economical.
Omg this is me. To a T. Being a teacher with a low income and having hubby have an even lower income does NOT equal expecting people to buy me shit.
Listen, if I'd say it to my BFF IRL, then I have no problem saying it to an internet stranger.
Oh, I missed that little gem.
Op-
With respect to age of kids, we are in a similar boat. The only item off your list that I have gotten is a double stroller...which I got as a Christmas gift. If finances are tight, look on Craigslist, eBay or at a resale store. Heck, I even saw an umbrella - type, double stroller on sale at BRU new for $89 the other day. I think PPs have already touched on why you don't need another changing table, high chair, etc.
As for the crib, is that typically something people even give at showers??? Personally, I did not get big ticket items like furniture at my shower. DH and I purchased LO's nursery furniture ourselves. Regardless, I would think your first LO would be moving up to a toddler bed by the time LO #2 arrives. Get your older kid a toddler bed and re-use the crib. Again, check out sales, Craigslist, etc. if money is tight.
Edit: damn quotes on mobile.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
T 2.12 | W 5.14
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
@camrynnsmommy - Great minds think alike!
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Perhaps.
It's also a community. Generally, if you want support, you contribute to the community and provide it for others. Then it is gladly returned.
Before you lecture us on what is/isn't appropriate on this board, take that into consideration and actually read the thread you're commenting on. People were civil (with a bit of snark, which is how The Bump is in general). It was the OP who lashed out and called someone a bitch when it was totally unnecessary.
Thanks but no thanks on the Bump civility lesson. I think we've got it.
1. This board is not for support. No where on TB does it say "come be supported by other moms." It says "come chat with other moms." This is a community. As such, you have to participate to be considered part of that community. You don't get to come in and in your first interaction with the group act like a spoiled child. Imagine how that would go over in real life? A bunch of friends are chatting, you go up to them and start a conversation. You ask them a question and you get a unanimous answer. Then, you decide to get argumentative and whiney, and you call them names. What do you think would happen? Read this thread to find out. She decided to bully a member of our little M14 community so we mobilized. And really, this wasn't that bad. Good luck on TB if you think these flames were hot.
2. Now this is slightly flammable. I'm not really against second showers. If a friend offered to throw one for me, I'd jump on that shit. I'm all about the cash and prizes. Gift graby? Hells to the yes. Give me all the presents. But me all the things. I love it. Do it for my second baby, do it for my tenth. I'd want it to stay small and I'd HOPE for things like diapers and clothes. Here's what I wouldn't do- bitch if no one offered, throw my own, or EXPECT or DEMAND anything from anyone. If no one brings me a single gift for this baby, no big deal. I'll buy my own crap (of which I truly need very little). And I'd have told OP this very thing if is gotten to this post before she got nasty.
Also, read the rules. No random white knights allowed.
Said no one ever.