STM please..

sarahjanisse · January 2014

I need to know when you felt comfortable leaving your baby for an extended amount of time. My dilemma is that 2 of our best friends are getting married (on a cruise)...they are dying for us to go...but baby boy will only be 4 mos.....also too young to board the ship with us...I already checked. It would be 5 nights...what do you think? Will I die from being away that long so early? Or will I need a small break...hmmmmmm....????

MamaLlama14 · January 2014

I still haven't been away from DS overnight and he's 2.5 years old. There's NO WAY I would have been ready at 4 months old. I was also breastfeeding and to plan ahead and leave him enough BM for 5 days, while still taking my pump with me to keep my supply up, would have been a major hassle. I also BARELY felt like myself again at 4 months PP.

This is just me though...

mmks · January 2014

Personally, I wouldn't have been able to do it. Not sure if I could even now and my son is 2.5! The longest I've been away from him is overnight. Although, I'd love a few days to myself at this point and would jump at the chance - I know I'd miss him a ridiculous amount after only an hour!

If you are planning to breastfeed, it will be very stressful if not impossible to pump that much milk to leave. Plus you will have to find places to pump on the cruise so your supply doesn't go down.

MrsT2008 · January 2014

I wouldn't be able to do that. I didn't leave DD overnight until this past summer and she was 20 months and we stayed in the country within a direct flight away.

At 4 months and out on the ocean, no way.

buggywhips · January 2014

He was over a year. I bf'd him until then, so that had a lot to do with. He stays the night at my parents house, and if the MIL watches him she does it at our house...it's a lot easier that way. I could never leave a 4 month old...

knash87 · January 2014

I asked this same question when I was pregnant with my first. I really thought is have no problem leaving her with family for a week overnight. She is now 1 1/2 and I can't even think about going away without her! I did leave her with my DH for less than 36 hours when she was 6 months old... I survived, but it showed me that the two of us leaving her overnight would be hard!! Anyway, I think that you won't really know until the baby is here. I also thought I'd be fine with working part time once she came. I have to because of finances, but it kills me! I really wish I could be with her constantly. That may play into the not wanting to leave her overnight... Since I'm away from her for work, I hate being away from her when it isn't necessary! But the decision is yours. I remember watching my sisters kid at 4 months for about the same about of time you are talking and it worked out fine!

knash87 · January 2014

I also agree on the pumping... I did it in my overnight trip, but it was not fun!! I became engorged because I couldn't sit down to do it enough, and when I did find the time I seriously couldn't get anything out! It was such a relief to be back with her so she could stop my suffering! Haha... It really was horrible.

chillypenguin · January 2014

My parents kept DD one night when she was about 8 months old (I was really sick) and I pretty much didn't sleep all night because I missed her. She just spent one night with my in-laws at 15 months and did fine but it was still hard on me. I couldn't have left her at 4 months, personally.

sarahjanisse · January 2014

I really appreciate this advice...I know I will have to wait until he gets here to really decide...why do damn destination weddings have to be the trend?

AnnieA75 · January 2014

I went away for a weekend and left DD with DH for a weekend when she was 3 months old. I missed her very much, but I did survive. That's the longest I've been away from her. If you're planning to BF, I do agree it would be hard to be away, but it's doable. I pumped extra, at least once a day, in addition to BFing so I could build up a stash. I was either attached to DD or the pump for tons of hours a day, but it's possible to build up the stash before you leave. I also took Fenugreek religiously to keep my supply up. It was a pain to go back to the hotel room multiple times a day to pump, but I made it work. Like I said, you could swing it, but it just may be a little tough.

ckandi007 · January 2014

If it were me, I wouldn't do it, especially while breastfeeding. While I did have a decent stash by the time he was 3 months when I went back to work, I couldn't leave my kid alone for that long that early. The first time I left him alone, he was 10 months old and I was gone 2 days.

Now, it is a different story. He stayed with my parents for a week last year when we went to Iceland and for 2 weeks when we went on a Mediterranean cruise.

Junebug060609 · January 2014

I could never have done an overnight at four mos. Hell, i still havent and he is two.

HARLEYSMOM2010 · January 2014

Honestly alot of people are going to bash you regardless.. do what YOU feel is right last year I went on a week vacation to Dominican and left my kids at home at 10 mos and just under 3 I thought i was going to die at first but once I got into vacation mode I was fine it flee by soooo fast it's only 5 days ... you and baby will live also you'll have plenty distractions with the wedding so you won't have time to sit and worry

HARLEYSMOM2010 · January 2014

My cousin went in her HM when her LO was 5 mos and it was a week.. She was bfing and she was fine just pumped a lot

sarahjanisse · January 2014

I know in my heart I probably can't do it....but I wanted to see if it had been done...apparently not much.

sisterjanet · January 2014

If you're using formula it might work from a technical standpoint, and maybe even with breastfeeding although I personally hated pumping and never got more than two ounces at a time so it would've taken me a lot of time and stress to get enough for five days. I agree with everyone saying you probably won't feel like it's a good idea when the time comes.

spinsoffresonance · January 2014

I left DD with DH for 48 hours when she was 6weeks old to go to my dad's funeral. That was the longest I felt I could be away from a nursing baby at that age. It was also the longest DH was willing to watch her alone. I didn't have enough milk stashed so DH had to give DD formula on the second day, then it was back to nursing when I got home. I had to pump every 3 hours day and night. On the way back I had enough milk to fill my entire carry on suitcase.
I think it would be really hard to leave a 4 month old for 5 days. If you're breastfeeding you will probably have to give LO formula while you're away. You will also pump more milk than you can bring home and will have to dump some. I wouldn't go. DD is now 14months and I/we have never left her overnight since.

Miles2Go · January 2014

Depends on yo hand your baby. Dd is 20 months and we've never spent a night apart. I'm dreading the possibility of a hospital birth for this very reason. My good friend has a 2 year old. She left her for a week at 3 months. I bf and she ff. I know I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my LO but only you will be able to make the call if it's right for you or not, and probably not until you meet your baby.

cnbean · January 2014

My in-laws started keeping DS overnight when he was around 6 months old. I can't imagine that I would really be comfortable leaving my baby much earlier than that. But everyone is different and it may not end up being a big deal to you.

I went back to work part time at 6wks PP and I thought I'd hate being away that much. Instead I really loved being able to get out of the house and being around adults. So just because other people don't feel the same about something doesn't mean it wouldn't be right for you.

momo214 · January 2014

I will be going to St. Lucia for a destination wedding when baby is 6 months. Ill be leaving her with my parents. I know it'll be hard but we will survive and a break with me and DH will be good for us. It'll be hard. You'll survive. Baby will too. Time apart is healthy.

jjtyler · January 2014

I was the matron of honor in a wedding party when my daughter was 7 weeks old. And she was 3 weeks early. I went to the wedding prep at 10 am and the hubby met me at the church at around 4 pm.

We spent the night away from her and guess what? We all survived ;-). I think this helped (or forced) us to be OK with overnights at a younger age and the grandparents and aunts that watched her loved the one on one time.

BUT, 5 nights and on a cruise...not sure if I could do that.

baby3ob · January 2014

I couldn't have but that's me. I cried when I had to go on a 2 day work trip when she was 6 months. That also ended up being the icing on the cake of officially throwing in the breast feeding towel as my supply tanked. But that said, I've known others who have been just fine! I just couldn't

shaunamw · January 2014

I couldn't do it. The first time I left him overnight he was 10 months old and I was only an hour away at a wedding.
I had a girlfriend that had to leave her son to attend an out if town trial when he was only five months. I would note that she chose not to bf due to latching issues.

Chellbell20 · January 2014

DD was 20ish months when I first left her for a long weekend with DH to reconnect after his deployment. At 4 months I was running home as soon as work let off to get to her, 5 days would never have happened for me.

CamrynnsMommy · January 2014

It will really depend on whether or not you'll be breastfeeding or not.

If you won't be BFing, then I say go, but if you will BF, I think it'll be very difficult.

Kageer · January 2014

Can u wait and see once baby gets here? It might depend who is watching him as well. I left DS1 at 10 month with my parents for 4 days. It was hard but I am glad I got away. I left DS2 at 4 months for three days. I pumped and that sucked but it was nice to get away. If you do decide to go don't feel guilty about it. Baby will be fine and so will you. It does not make you a bad mother to leave your child:).

MamaLlama14 · January 2014

HARLEYSMOM2010 said:

Honestly alot of people are going to bash you regardless.. do what YOU feel is right last year I went on a week vacation to Dominican and left my kids at home at 10 mos and just under 3 I thought i was going to die at first but once I got into vacation mode I was fine it flee by soooo fast it's only 5 days ... you and baby will live also you'll have plenty distractions with the wedding so you won't have time to sit and worry

What? I didn't see any bashing.... not sure OP cares about what others think about HER, just what we think about the feasibility of her leaving her LO.

Lovenyc · January 2014

My son is 26 months and I'm still not ready. Every mother is different. I definitely would not have been ready at 4 months.

starskristen79 · January 2014

I looked into this for our wedding in 2009, and at the time, the major cruise lines all had wedding onboard before the cruise actually set sail. I don't think they are allowed to actually perform weddings at sea.They allow a certain number of non-sailing guests to attend the wedding before the ship takes off. Have you asked for details about their plans?

Of course, this is a moot point if they are getting married at one of the ports of call during the trip. However, that would open the possibility of going to the destination (with or without baby) for a shorter trip if you really want to be there.

Maybe you have some options? Good luck!

spacepotatoes · January 2014

starskristen79 said:

I looked into this for our wedding in 2009, and at the time, the major cruise lines all had wedding onboard before the cruise actually set sail. I don't think they are allowed to actually perform weddings at sea.They allow a certain number of non-sailing guests to attend the wedding before the ship takes off. Have you asked for details about their plans?

This is still the case. I know Princess is the only line where the Captains can officiate but I'm not sure whether or not they are allowed to do it at sea. The others definitely do not.

OP, if the couple is getting married on embarkation day before the ship sails, then it might be feasible.

kalette · January 2014

We have only done one overnight away from DD and she was just 3 min away at my parents house. The next will be when DS is born. She'll either go to my parents, the in laws or one of those during the day and home with DH at night.

jenb_99 · January 2014

We were comfortable leaving DS with my parents from the very beginning. I think his first overnight stay was around 8 weeks.

Xath · January 2014

I had to take a 5 day business trip when DS1 was 10 weeks old. I was able to pump through the week, and continue to nurse for 10 months, but I think it did impact the full establishment of my supply. I missed my son like crazy; on the other hand, it was 5 nights of sleep that I didn't see again for the next 4 months. Would I choose to do that for something recreational? Probably not. But people make it through worse. My H was deployed for 4 months and left when DS1 was 12 weeks old, so he missed a lot more.

Since then, I've traveled a lot. The longest I've been away is 3 weeks in a stretch. It sucks, but it's definitely doable.

My H and I haven't been away from him together for more than a weekend.

So...that was a lot of talking to say that it's definitely doable, but not something I would choose to do unless the event is very important.

katesy21 · January 2014

I couldn't leave for that long at that age. I couldn't even leave DD2 for an anniversary getaway for the weekend when she was 6 months old and they've still never spent more than 1 night away from me. I'm probably weird though.

Baileypearl · January 2014

Get used to "missing" events cause of the kids. Although once you have kids everything else kinda looses it's importance. I say don't go, baby's too young and they are #1. You can celebrate when your friends come back.

CVislo · January 2014

I wouldn't do it. My son will be 5 in June and I have yet to leave him for more than a few hours.

pistolpackinmomma · January 2014

Well seeing as DS is just over a year old and I've not done more than a few hours at a time... But I've been told I'm not the norm.

kat8805 · January 2014

I must be the only bad (read: sane) mom. I ate up weekends away from DD1 when both my sets of parents offered from around a year old. Sure we missed her, but she was always in capable hands and everyone enjoyed time with her, as well as me getting a well needed break for my sanity. It was like heaven to go pee without an audience.

glowworm0166 · January 2014

I did 3 nights away from my son at 6 months and that was hard. I saved up breastmilk for months and they only had to break out the formula on the last two feedings. I wouldn't have been able to go for 5 days at 4 months and have enough milk to feed him. I probably wouldn't have felt comfortable going for 5 days at 4 months but thats not saying you won't.

momo214 · January 2014

kat8805 said:
I must be the only bad (read: sane) mom. I ate up weekends away from DD1 when both my sets of parents offered from around a year old. Sure we missed her, but she was always in capable hands and everyone enjoyed time with her, as well as me getting a well needed break for my sanity. It was like heaven to go pee without an audience.

I think you rock. I will definitely do the same. Me time is important too.

kat8805 · January 2014

mollynicole214 said:

I must be the only bad (read: sane) mom. I ate up weekends away from DD1 when both my sets of parents offered from around a year old. Sure we missed her, but she was always in capable hands and everyone enjoyed time with her, as well as me getting a well needed break for my sanity. It was like heaven to go pee without an audience.
I think you rock. I will definitely do the same. Me time is important too.

I had "girl time" last night. I can't remember the last time that happened. It's usually DH & me time when we can get away, and don't get me wrong, I love my DH, but I love my me time. I feel like a whole new person today \:D/

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