Moms of 3+

Re: Moms of 3+

• mommyof4boys member

  January 2014

  chance_encounters said:

  I have 3 children and just found out that the baby I am carrying has Down's syndrome. I am scared to death. I only know what I have read on the web about DS and that is pretty limited. I will find out next week if the baby has any further issues. My question of moms of 3+, how is life with a disabled baby? I want to hear the good, bad and the ugly, my children now are 14, 10 and 1. I know my ex-husband will use the new baby and that mom has to give it more attn against me to my 2 oldest (he did this when my son was born). Thanks ladies/gents.

  First of all...congratulations!  Any baby is a blessing no matter if they are born with all their chromosomes in order or not  I am not a mom of a child with Down Syndrome but am the mom of a child with a genetic change and have 4 kids.  I also have a good friend who has a 14 year old daughter with Down Syndrome.  

  
  

  We didn't know that my youngest had a genetic change until he was 2 however I knew pretty much right away that he had something going on.  He didn't nurse because he didn't have the mouth strength.  

  
  

  My friend said she was told to terminate her daughter and she didn't (obviously). She felt that they wouldn't know the extent of her abilities until she was born.  You can not tell prenatally what a child's IQ will be.  

  
  

  I think part of the issue we had was that I had 2 year old twins and a newborn at the same time.  The twins used to gang up on me and destroy my house when I thought they were napping.  Both boys are also on the spectrum so I had 3 kids in less than 2 years that all had SN.  There were days where I'd rock back and forth and cry right along with whoever was crying at the time.  Matthew tried to pick Chris up a few times to nurse him.  

  
  

  Chris didn't sleep through the night until..I'll let you know when he does.  We see a few specialists now but when he was first born and newly diagnosed it was a lot more.  He saw an ENT, GI, Neuro, and allergist.  Now he sees a Geneticist and a Developmental Ped.  

  
  

  What I would suggest is a few things: 

  
  

  Get educated about DS and what that will mean to your new little one.

  
  

  Get in contact with your local ARC.  They might be able to pair you up with a family in your area who has gone through the same thing.  In NJ, we have a group through our Parent Education Network.we have a network of parents to call and pair up with to mentor with.  We also have other groups that I'm involved in as a mom who receives the help as a group run through the state of psychologists that have kids with SN that call and provide help.

  
  

  Remember to be kind to you!  You are human and need time to process everything.

  
  

  If your ex makes any comments screw him!  He's an ex for a reason.

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