FFFC

lp0 · January 2014

I didn't see one started yet. Let's hear your FFFC!

lp0 · January 2014

So MIL side swiped a telephone pole in the ice the other night and her car is not drivable (she was not hurt at all). My FFFC is that the whole time she was giving me the play by play of what happened I was secretly thinking how great it was because it meant she would not be able to come visit us. I know it's terrible and I'm glad she's not hurt but I just cannot stand being in the same room as that woman.

74dragonfly · January 2014

Here is mine and I know it is silly. I feel a little hurt that some of my friends have not sent a card or gift for my baby. I know gifts are voluntary. I think it bothers me because they know about my infertility and miscarriages and Aaron's health issues. I guess I just want a little celebratory acknowledgment.
I know this is silly.

74dragonfly · January 2014

superspecialsnowflake said:
DH is taking two weeks off to be home with the baby when I go back to work. Neither of us liked the idea of her being in daycare so young, so we tried to delay it as much as possible. My FFFC is that I would now almost feel more comfortable with her in daycare. DH is good with her when she's a peaceful, happy baby, but the guy doesn't have the greatest soothing skills. I think he gets frustrated and tense too easily, which doesn't help him be a calming presence when Emma's in meltdown mode. We've already had to have the "don't let her CIO" discussion. I know this is an exaggeration, but I feel that by leaving her with him for full days at a time, she will be shrieking and crying the entire time.

I had dh watch happiest baby on the block video. It helped.

teacupkat · January 2014

@lp0198 I can relate to this on many levels. Glad she is ok, but yay for a break from her. My MIL and I sit in a room and don't talk to each other. Or we argue about how to raise a child in the modern day versus 40 years ago when she had babies. It's always pleasant.

@superspecialsnowflake I have also had conversations about what "CIO" is with DH. He is pretty good about snuggling with her and calming her down, but he has also said just let her whimper for a little bit, she will be fine. When it turns into a full on cry I always give him the evil eye to pick her up.

My FFFC is related to my MIL as well. She is coming over Sunday and I am trying to invite other friends over so she can't hold the baby the entire time she is here. All she does is hold her and touch her face. It drives me insane. If I have people over she has to share. She doesn't come over to help DH or me, just to stare at my kid in her arms and sit, drink my wine, and eat my food. No thanks. She has been trying to come over 3 times a week and I just can't. Each time someone else has been there. She is trying to come when she thinks no one(meaning my parents) are there, so I invite people. I'm an evil bitch but I can't stand her anymore.

northport6 · January 2014

@Loolaide My MIL calls herself 'the baby whisperer.' Naturally I delight when DD shrieks in her arms then settles happily in mine.

northport6 · January 2014

Confession: slightly frightened of coming off pelvic rest on Monday. Upside: running again! Downside: ...DH is down to clown and I am neeeervous. I didn't have a tough delivery or recovery, but the landscape of the... um... Netherlands... has definitely changed a bit since last he vacationed there.

Eek.

northport6 · January 2014

@HollisW12 He's saying that now, but wait. Juuuust wait.

grannyweatherwax · January 2014

I think it's too late to save pandas from extinction.

northport6 · January 2014

@pirategirlpink said:
I think it's too late to save pandas from extinction.

For a moment, I thought perhaps this was a metaphor.

BeachMommy2B · January 2014

This one is kinda silly. I was/am planning on getting permanent eyeliner. SO is really against it. We both are not big fans of tattoos, but I really don't look at this as a tattoo (even though I know it is).

My FFFC is I don't know that I care about his opinion that much and am thinking about getting it done in a couple weeks.

northport6 · January 2014

@mrssturm45 said:
I forgot to attach the bottle to my pump.. And it took me a good minute to realize where all the liquid was coming from.. I need sleep.

Awww

fauxvegan · January 2014

It's Friday. I go back to work on Monday. My FFFC is that I don't want to go back and right now I hate my job because I have to go back. I'm also with the "uneasy leaving LO with DH all day" club. He's very loving and affectionate and good at taking care if her. But when she gets fussy he always hands her to me and says she's hungry. He can't hand her to me if I'm at work.

frankierokx · January 2014

The dragon (mil) is here. Not only did she wake Michael up, she is moaning that my carpet needs hoovering and the TV could do with a dust. I'm seriously considering putting breast milk in her next cup of tea X(

amberpro · January 2014

superspecialsnowflake said:
DH is taking two weeks off to be home with the baby when I go back to work. Neither of us liked the idea of her being in daycare so young, so we tried to delay it as much as possible. My FFFC is that I would now almost feel more comfortable with her in daycare. DH is good with her when she's a peaceful, happy baby, but the guy doesn't have the greatest soothing skills. I think he gets frustrated and tense too easily, which doesn't help him be a calming presence when Emma's in meltdown mode. We've already had to have the "don't let her CIO" discussion. I know this is an exaggeration, but I feel that by leaving her with him for full days at a time, she will be shrieking and crying the entire time.

DH was the same way with DS1. He'd "shush" for a minute then just hand him to me. I think babies sense the tension.

Maybe try taking a few solo trips for short periods before you go back. Or encourage him that he can work through a fussy period and leave the room. It took DH a couple times where I was gone and he HAD to deal for him to get the hang of it. Maybe you'll be more comfortable with his "trials" if it's not an all day thing.

blainethetrain · January 2014

frankierokx said:
The dragon (mil) is here. Not only did she wake Michael up, she is moaning that my carpet needs hoovering and the TV could do with a dust. I'm seriously considering putting breast milk in her next cup of tea X(

What a waste of breastmilk.

amberpro · January 2014

@teacupcat Girl! You had me at "drink my wine"! Grrrrrr... Not hosting a party here. Gotta do some dishes to get away with that shiz.

jy725 · January 2014

@superspecialspecialsnowflake I could have written this exact same thing about my DH. He is driving me nuts. We've always gotten along so well but now just aren't seeing eye to eye. He is no help to me when he gets so worked up. Ugh!

imrachellea · January 2014

Being a middle school teacher that struggles on a normal day with my students (many of which are just ridiculous punks), I actually missed work yesterday. LO was having a field day with her growth spurt and I was beyond frustrated...I found myself wishing I was instead with my students and sad that I was missing out in stuff at school, when is often dread what the work day will bring me. Good thing we're over the hump of this growth spurt because this baby is WAY cuter than a 7th grader! Lol

lp0 · January 2014

@teacupkat - My MIL parks her big ass on my couch with the baby for the entire time she's over too and it drives me crazy! She did it when DS was born and she tries it with DD but I just take her away from her with the excuse I need to feed her. She has never once actually helped. Unless you count the time she broke the lint trap on my dryer because she was insisting on folding the five baby items in there. It still makes me angry every time I empty the lint trap and see it cracked in half.

The most obnoxious thing she does is when DD starts fussing and she immediately "offers" to take her so she can settle her. Um no! She wants her mommy not someone who smells (and looks) like they haven't showered in over a week. Gross!

lilypienmessimy · January 2014

I've also had the talk with DH about
CIO. I feel like he keeps questioning me about it and it makes me insane..pick her up, she can fuss for a second but once she starts crying, that's it, get her. I feel like I keep defending myself about it and it's annoying. I don't want to leave her with you if you think that's ok. He's gotten it through his head finally but geeze, if you aren't gonna read the books about it...then listen to me because I did.

@Soozerella..I feel like my DH may think the same thing. He just started back at work Monday, and he's like oh well take a nap today and rest. Right, because it's so easy to rest and nap with a newborn and puppy. I *may* try and nap for like 30 min but it's only cause I was up with her for 2 1/2 hours last night...while you were sleeping. Arghhh!

teacupkat · January 2014

@lp0198 there is something seriously wrong with most MILs. I think they all have a secret meeting on DIL destruction and annoyance techniques. It's a convention, probably held in hell.

glowpoint · January 2014

DS1 has been wearing the same shirt since Wednesday.

Skylight21 · January 2014

I have to spend the day shopping with my grandma... My FFFC I don't want to let her hold LO because yesterday while she was sitting on the couch holding Lilly she almost dropped her... And almost took her into the bedroom that my grandpa was smoking in so she could lay on the bed with him. I don't feel bad for yelling at her and now I don't really want her holding her... Or ever babysitting...

MissyC979 · January 2014

superspecialsnowflake said:

jyparker725 said:

@superspecialspecialsnowflake I could have written this exact same thing about my DH. He is driving me nuts. We've always gotten along so well but now just aren't seeing eye to eye. He is no help to me when he gets so worked up. Ugh!

I think my DH thinks he's failing as a father when he can't sooth her. I've tried talking to him about it and giving him pointers, but by the time he's frustrated, there's no working with him. I think I'm going to have to follow Amberpro's advice and leave him with her in short bursts more often. Maybe more exposures will mean more opportunities for successful interactions, which in turn will boost his confidence.

We went through something like that with our first one. I agree with the advice to leave the baby with him for short spurts. My DH also takes on late night duty so I can get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep early in the night. It take some time for parents to get comfortable with babies and to learn what soothes them. I'm sure your DH will figure it out and gain more confidence as he goes.

amberpro · January 2014

@MBMO2 DH was the SAME way with DS1. And still is sometimes (read: potty training). I've researched, you haven't. Grrrrr. It's good now, though. I think he saw that DS1 turned out (is turning out so far?) fine, lol. Glad YH is coming around.

SarahDavis83 · January 2014

I really wish my 16 yr old step daughter would grow up a little bit! She has an impossible time getting herself up in the mornings. Because of that she has now missed the bus. Now, instead of getting rest after a sleepless night, I have to drive 34 miles to her school and back. How does she expect to get herself up and off to college when the time comes? We won't be in her dorm room!

KFED103 · January 2014

SarahDavis83 said:
I really wish my 16 yr old step daughter would grow up a little bit! She has an impossible time getting herself up in the mornings. Because of that she has now missed the bus. Now, instead of getting rest after a sleepless night, I have to drive 34 miles to her school and back. How does she expect to get herself up and off to college when the time comes? We won't be in her dorm room!

Do you end up driving her a lot? Start charging gas money, she might get up on time

SarahDavis83 · January 2014

KFED103 said:

SarahDavis83 said:
I really wish my 16 yr old step daughter would grow up a little bit! She has an impossible time getting herself up in the mornings. Because of that she has now missed the bus. Now, instead of getting rest after a sleepless night, I have to drive 34 miles to her school and back. How does she expect to get herself up and off to college when the time comes? We won't be in her dorm room!
Do you end up driving her a lot? Start charging gas money, she might get up on time

Yes, quite a bit! I charge her $5 per trip... Hasn't helped. :'(

KFED103 · January 2014

SarahDavis83 said:

KFED103 said:

SarahDavis83 said:
I really wish my 16 yr old step daughter would grow up a little bit! She has an impossible time getting herself up in the mornings. Because of that she has now missed the bus. Now, instead of getting rest after a sleepless night, I have to drive 34 miles to her school and back. How does she expect to get herself up and off to college when the time comes? We won't be in her dorm room!
Do you end up driving her a lot? Start charging gas money, she might get up on time
Yes, quite a bit! I charge her $5 per trip... Hasn't helped. :'(

Wow. Well I got nothin then.

I'm glad I have 13 years to figure that stuff out. Not that I expect to have answers by then lol

northport6 · January 2014

@MBMO2 said:
I've also had the talk with DH about
CIO. I feel like he keeps questioning me about it and it makes me insane..pick her up, she can fuss for a second but once she starts crying, that's it, get her. I feel like I keep defending myself about it and it's annoying. I don't want to leave her with you if you think that's ok. He's gotten it through his head finally but geeze, if you aren't gonna read the books about it...then listen to me because I did.

@Soozerella..I feel like my DH may think the same thing. He just started back at work Monday, and he's like oh well take a nap today and rest. Right, because it's so easy to rest and nap with a newborn and puppy. I *may* try and nap for like 30 min but it's only cause I was up with her for 2 1/2 hours last night...while you were sleeping. Arghhh!

The best thing that happened to me that turned DH around was that her most recent growth spurt began on Sunday, his day off. All day he watched me get up, sit down, soothe, rock, nurse -- he'd change a diaper here or there, but she just didn't want him to hold her. That's when it all clicked that this is way harder on me and in no way are my days about relaxing. I got lots of sheepishness that night, and we had an honest conversation about the things that work to make her happy. Not because he is failing as a father by not knowing them, but because I am with her 75% more everyday. Only if he fails to realize this is the case, and take my suggestions as coming from experience and try to practice them, is he failing as a father.

So far, he is more on top of picking her up when she cries, bouncing her on the yoga ball when she is gassy and letting her sleep against him instead of automatically putting her in the swing or RnP when she settles down.

I reinforced in that conversation that I'm not suggesting I know everything and he knows nothing -- I'm merely the person around her the most and I've noticed some things. Keep communicating and speaking from a place of love, both for your child and for your marriage, and I bet it gets easier.

Hang in! xo

leahraewku · January 2014

My brother called this morning at 7:30 and asked me to watch my nephew for him today. I'm making him sweat it out and taking my sweet time responding to him because he does this shit ALL THE TIME! Dude, you know you get your son every other weekend. Make childcare plans prior to the day of! I'm not your nanny service. I'm also peeved because he only calls when he wants things. We have a very one sided relationship and it's annoying.

KateVA · January 2014

All my kids are named after x-men characters. #nerdlove

mamashan12 · January 2014

As great a dad as DH is, he somehow can't change G's diaper with everything getting covered in poop and/or pee. 75% of the time she comes back with a new outfit, and there is a new changing pad cover out. Because I don't have enough laundry to do on top if her reflux issues.

Also, sure DH, you go to your Krav Maga class after work. I've only been running errands with a newborn, cooking dinner and doing laundry all day. I don't want a break at all. Oh, I'll do the dishes after dinner too.

If my MIL invites herself and other people up one more weekend, I'm going to lose it. I've always loved my in laws but they (and my own parents) are beyond overwhelming me.

cammyisagirlsname · January 2014

I'm with @MBMO2 with "if you aren't gonna read the books about it then listen to me because I did" when it comes to H. He's been great but jeeze, he doesn't know shit about soothing a baby. He just automatically thinks the baby wants to eat when he fusses. No dude! Maybe he just wants love! It's annoying.

Also I want to put a pillow over H's face when he's out cold snoring and I'm up at all hours of the day and night. Probably because I get about 6 hours of sleep a day while he gets like 10! Asshole.

leahraewku · January 2014

KateVA said:
All my kids are named after x-men characters. #nerdlove

DH suggested Rogue when we were brainstorming names for DD1.

teacupkat · January 2014

I'm glad I'm not the only one with a DH who tells them to get rest during the day. Every time he says this, I go through my day and ask when could I nap again? Oh yea, like never. LO is eating again with only an hour between feedings today.... DH also hasn't spent all day with me recently. He thinks this is a cake walk compared to work. All I do is "snuggle" all day long with LO. No other work involved....

glowpoint · January 2014

Nichole10 said:

My confession is simply the shit I think in my head but don't say out loud. Such as.. "DH the fucking laundry won't fold itself" "DH if lo is crying try STANDING UP with him" (he always tries to sooth him sitting down and it's maddening.)

I do this, too! I think it's usually better that I don't say it out loud, but sometimes I end up having long rants at him that never actually come out, and I feel like an idiot. But once I've gotten through that, I usually have a more reasonable thing to say to him.

lp0 · January 2014

DH is finally getting more comfortable soothing a fussy baby and this is our second. I hear him tell her "beard means bouncing, boobs means food. Bouncing is all daddy has kid". It's really cute lol

lilypienmessimy · January 2014

@northport6, I think that's what we need, an honest conversation about it all. I'm now a SAHM and I'm literally with her all the time. I've left for errands though (only 3 times) and before I've left I'm like ok..if she cries, you must pick her up, you must try and soothe her etc etc. I know he's realizing now, but it's not easy...I literally keep defending myself. Most recent was about the growth spurt..yes I should be nursing her when she wants it, yes I need to wake her up after sleeping 3 hours during the day or guess what, neither of us are sleeping at night but you get to. I need to be more patient and we need to kind of realize our new roles with our LO and learn from each other. Thank you for the advice @northport6 and it makes me feel better many of you have had the same little issues with your DHs.

notkateanymore · January 2014

My FFFC is that I read this whole thread to make myself feel better about my DH and ILs. I won the fucking lottery it seems compared to some of y'all. I would cry every day if I had to deal with what some of you do...lord.

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