I have a 5 year old boy and a 10 month old girl. My pregnancy was very tough with SPD (symphysis pubic dysfunction) and birth was traumatic too. Nothing has been the same since my daughter was born. I have extreme anxiety and depression, I rarely leave the house. In fact I could go weeks without leaving the house, I only leave to pick up my ds from PRE-K. I feel nothing towards my son anymore, it's a total disconnect. The things I do feel towards him are just bad, like constant annoyance and I just wish. He would shut up and go away. The baby is difficult. She's never been a "good" baby or easy in any way. I'm a stay at home mom and I have no help, EVER. My husband works and I've talked to him about all these feelings and I guess he doesn't think it's as big of a deal as it is to me, he doesn't take me seriously. I am miserable. I don't want tot live. I not like my children or my life. I'm a horrible mother and they would be better off without me.
Re: I'm ready to commit suicide
We have our "Irish Twins"
DD born 8/7/2013
DS born 7/28/14
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Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!
Me, even when I am exhausted. I, too, rarely leave my house. You need to seek professional help, for the sake of your kids. They will NOT be better without- NO child is better without their parent, especially their mother. I happen to come from a pretty messed up family myself. My mom has schizophrenia and I never met my dad. Still, I'd rather have my mother in life life than not in my life. Please seek professional help. You will be in my prayers...
DS born 8/2010 - preliminary stages of SN int'l adoption - fur mama to 2 shelter dogs; cloth diapering, babywearing, EBFing mama