Circumcision woes

Csmama123 · January 2014

I know this can get heated so sorry if it does in advance!

We circumsized my first as hubby is and that's all the thought that went into it. But seeing my poor babies wound, oh my gosh, I was shocked!!

If this baby is a boy hubby wants to do it again, but now I feel so bad to hurt my son.

His argument is it healed quickly/ cleaner/ we've a friend who wasn't and has ALL sorts of urinary issues he blames on it/ he doesn't want one son with and one without.

Thoughts?

BoraBoraBaby · January 2014

I know it seems brutal but the long term benefits may be worth it. If we have a son we will have him circumcised. If for no other reason, at the very least I think of him as a grown adult. Would he'd be thankful we had this done? Would he be upset? I happen to believe he'd be grateful it was done.

AnotherPreggo · January 2014

In my opinion, this is 100% up to DH... so if we have a boy, he will be circ'd.

If YH wants this potential boy circumcised, I would go with it. Feeling like you hurt your son is a silly reason not to, if that is your only issue with it. WWYD if the pain was not a factor?

Ylvelill · January 2014

If we have one, he won't be

Csmama123 · January 2014

Ylvelill said:
If we have one, he won't be

Do you mind sharing why?

Csmama123 · January 2014

AnotherPreggo said:
In my opinion, this is 100% up to DH... so if we have a boy, he will be circ'd.

If YH wants this potential boy circumcised, I would go with it. Feeling like you hurt your son is a silly reason not to, if that is your only issue with it. WWYD if the pain was not a factor?

If pain was not a factor, yes I absolutely would have it done. However, pain is a huge motivator not too. Have you watched the videos of one being done?

I think I have to agree with you that it's a hubby call. I make almost every other decision when it comes to our children.

brooklynesque · January 2014

Mine won't be. DH isn't, and he has never had issues. I really don't see the point as long as you teach the child good hygiene.

andyandrachel · January 2014

Csmama123 said:

AnotherPreggo said:
In my opinion, this is 100% up to DH... so if we have a boy, he will be circ'd.

If YH wants this potential boy circumcised, I would go with it. Feeling like you hurt your son is a silly reason not to, if that is your only issue with it. WWYD if the pain was not a factor?
If pain was not a factor, yes I absolutely would have it done. However, pain is a huge motivator not too. Have you watched the videos of one being done?

I think I have to agree with you that it's a hubby call. I make almost every other decision when it comes to our children.

If you are mostly worried about pain, talk to your OB about their circumcision practices. Some doctors do not numb the area, some do. My OB numbs the area, waits to be sure it took effect and she gives him a pacifier soaked in sugar water to distract him. She will also wait until just after a feeding when the baby is relaxed and sleepy. I did not notice any discomfort from my sons after the procedure and it healed quickly.

redhotmama7 · January 2014

My MFM has done thousands of circs and she also numbs and makes sure the area is numb she says most of her baby's don't even cry. Maybe she lied, but it's not like I was on the fence so I'm not sure why she would.

Our sons will be, but I know a lot of people who have had issues either as the man or as the wife with UTIs or later in life needing it done. Therefore I'll be doing it unless baby tests positive for my blood disorder then more thought will be given before making the decision.

Oh and one final thought you should ask what procedure your dr/ hospital uses some are much more outdated.

Monicalynnsd · January 2014

I had a boyfriend who got circumcised at the age of 24 due to something called phimosis. It's a hell of a lot worse getting it done at 24, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. After seeing what he went through and knowing about his lifetime of embarrassment caused by the issue I will do it if I have a son. It also lowers risk of stds.

cakebatter27 · January 2014

We won't. DH isn't and I see no reason to have unnecessary surgery. Teaching proper hygiene is a responsibility regardless of extra skin.

cakebatter27 · January 2014

We won't. DH isn't and I see no reason to have unnecessary surgery. Teaching proper hygiene is a responsibility regardless of extra skin.

allardr · January 2014

People will have different stances, but I don't feel temporary pain should be the "reason" why you don't do it. I've never been one of those parents to get all sad when my kid gets shots. I know it's good for DD so I have no problem watching her get shots. Make a researched decision, and if you decide long term benefits make you want it, keep that in mind for the short term pain.

Ylvelill · January 2014

Unless there is a medical need for it then it is just cosmetic, and I guess cosmetic surgery is not my thing. I have know several who were not circumcised and if you just clean yourself then there normally aren't problems.

alyssa719 · January 2014

I asked my DH to make the decision (he has a penis and I don't). My only input was that I didn't know whether it would make it less sensitive later in life for stuff, or if girls would think it's "weird" (I don't know I've ever seen an uncircumcised penis on a guy). Maybe I'm weird, but I wouldn't want our decision to make him feel not normal or something later in life.

That being said, I think that DH actually said that he would say no, but I'm not sure if this is his current answer (we don't even know the sex so maybe this won't come up).

GinnyJ2012 · January 2014

We had DS circumcised and if this baby is a boy we will again. DS didn't cry, and was almost healed completely by his first pedi appt after birth (2 days old). He never showed any discomfort when he was changed, and it didn't effect his nursing.

drunkenhandstand · January 2014

This is just my opinion and has nothing to do with medical facts or stats... but if your first babe is circumcised I would circumcise this baby boy. They are brothers. And if they're anything like my boys, they will be so close. I couldn't imagine having one circumcised and one not circumcised and having to answer those questions. If your husband is as well, I can imagine the new baby (if not circumcised) would always wonder why his Dad and brother are and he's not. I imagine it could create a lot of self image problems. Again, it's just my opinion. And you can totally disagree. Please don't stone me.

Jbosarge85 · January 2014

To all of you saying just teach proper hygiene. You also need to take into account any developmental issues that may develop later. My SS is autistic and has oppositional behavior disorder, he was uncircumcised, has been told repeatedly how to properly wash his penis and he will not do it. He is always having issues with it bothering him. I'm sure when he was first born his mother thought that he would have no problems washing it correctly and wasn't aware that he would have these issues (I'm not saying people with autism are dirty) it's just my ss in particular tends to act a lot younger for him age and will refuse to do things that he is instructed to do. We used to have to watch him brush his teeth to make sure he is brushing. I know we could watch him and make sure he is cleaning his penis correctly, but if he had been circumcised in the beginning it wouldn't be an issue. If Dh and I have a boy this time we are planning on circumcising (he didn't have a say with his son because she wasn't sure he was the father till after he was born with a paternity test). Just something to think about.

edit:I wanted to add I hope me saying developmental issues isn't offensive I couldn't think of the term I was wanting to use so just put something that would make a little sense.

jnnfrrose6 · January 2014

I think you need to make your decision based on more than "it will hurt my baby." There are lots of things we do as parents that may hurt and/or upset our kids for some reason or other, but it is always temporary pain/discomfort (shots, etc...) and what is best for our kids. We chose to circumcise our son for medical reasons (risks of infections and disease) and will do it for this one if it is a boy.

DelilahSun · January 2014

DS didn't even flinch when the Dr put the two freezing shots in which acted as a block, and he felt nothing during the quick procedure. DH and I were present throughout (me holding DS's hand while he sucked on his paci) and we were amazed at how it all went down. The hardest part for me was how it looked afterwards, but the healing was another surprise - So quick.

ohwhyknow · January 2014

I agree about to confusion it would cause between brothers and think you should have both "match" so there is no discrepancy. Howeve, I feel we do not have superfluous body parts and think that foreskin is there for a reason.

jnnfrrose6 · January 2014

ohwhyknow said:

I agree about to confusion it would cause between brothers and think you should have both "match" so there is no discrepancy. Howeve, I feel we do not have superfluous body parts and think that foreskin is there for a reason.

Isn't one of our kidney's technically superfluous? And what about the appendix? I'm certainly not comparing a man's foreskin to either of these things, but if we're talking about superfluous body parts, I think we do have some.

pantherRN · January 2014

I actually don't have a strong opinion on this, so I'm just going to stick my head in the sand and worry about it if I have to.

[Deleted User] · January 2014

allardr said:

People will have different stances, but I don't feel temporary pain should be the "reason" why you don't do it. I've never been one of those parents to get all sad when my kid gets shots. I know it's good for DD so I have no problem watching her get shots. Make a researched decision, and if you decide long term benefits make you want it, keep that in mind for the short term pain.

Agreed. DS didn't make a peep when he got circumcised. He cried much more getting shots.

ohwhyknow · January 2014

@jnnfrrose6. Most of our liver and a kidney, or lung for that matter, we could live without. We do much better with them though. Our appendix actually has immune functions. Just like our tonsils were once thought to be without function.

Ylvelill · January 2014

The extra kidney is backup

a friend of mine and my mil only have one kidney and both have to watch what they eat as well as get tested to make sure they aren't overworking it, so yeah... Having two is better.

Amores0121 · January 2014

If we have a boy, I don't think we will circumcise. DH is not circumcised. He has not had issues with UTIs, but did have some other issues (dry skin/small cuts, which make it painful to pull back skin). However, I don't think those are huge enough issues to decide to circumcise. I think it would be weird to circ my son when his father is not. Plus, you are taking a lot of their sensitivity away when you cut their foreskin.

I was never aware before I met DH that in the rest of the world circumcision is not prevelant like it is here. Here is a little graph that puts things into perspective.

https://www.circumstitions.com/Maps.html

dobbyisfree · January 2014

My brother had it done when he was 4 and it was awful for him. It wasnt because of hygiene issues it was that his skin started to peel and stick to things - my dad had to cut him out of his swim trunks once with clippers. After watching that pain plus the pain of surgery and stitches after, we will have our sons done at birth. Be it cosmetic, if i can save them from what he went through, i will. He still shudders to this day if you ask him about it

klynne924 · January 2014

We did not circumcise DS even though DH is circumcised and I left that decision up to him. We felt it was an unnecessary surgery and have had no problems this far, other than a yeast infection after being put on multiple medications. DS is 3 1/2 years old and knows how to retract the foreskin and clean himself, which he does multiple times a day in the shower or out. We've explained the importance of having good hygiene and what the consequences could possibly be if he doesn't maintain proper hygiene. I talked to his pediatrician and asked how common boy not being done were and she said about 50% of her boy patients were not. If this baby is a boy, we will not have him circumcised either.

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