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"MIL-Go To Hell" Support Group

ElTrain5ElTrain5 member
in June 2014 Moms

They're selfish, they're insensitive, they're nosy little buggers.  You could start a "Shit my Mother-in-Law Says" blog, if you had the time (and if she didn't internet stalk you).  This is a post/group for those of us "blessed" with crazy/scary/unbelievable MIL's to share stories, and support.  I've read enough on this BMB to see that it is needed (and hopefully wanted).

I'll start the sharing. 

Most recently, my mother in law made a spare key to our house without telling us (we only found out when she randomly came in and left something).  She then proceeded to tell DH he made it for her, and he must have forgotten.  Lovely.  We now have contact alarms on the doors so I don't get "surprised" again.  This woman knows no boundaries.

Ok, your turn! Share your frustrating/funny/unbelievable MIL story this week!

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Re: "MIL-Go To Hell" Support Group

  • lellyminelellymine member
    MIL told me I was incredibly selfish for not going to donate blood with her and her daughters. Lady, I stand up too fast and I get dizzy. I don't think this is the time to be giving blood.
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  • babybean82babybean82 member
    My MIL is super nice but sometimes I find her overbearing and a little crazy... 

    Example 1: Over the summer I got a little cold, MIL was out the night I started to feel it coming on and I mentioned it to her probably in a comment that went like this " I think I am getting a cold, that sucks because I have an important client meeting at work tomorrow" The next day while in my important meeting with a little runny nose nothing serious at all. My cell phone buzzed non stop in my purse so I turned it off, then soon after that the receptionist is knocking at my office door to tell me I have an emergency call for my MIL. She insisted on interrupting my meeting so she could talk to me to make sure I was okay and not passed out or dead...... 

    Example 2: DH must have told her the date of my 12 week appointment because once again she called and texted non stop during my appointment to see how it went..... I try to be as vague as possible whenever she asks about future appointments now and I have also avoided telling her which Dr. I am seeing because I wouldn't put it past her to just show up at my appointments unannounced. 

    To top it off she still thinks she is going to be in the delivery room when baby is born..... I am probably going to be induced so I am thinking about just not telling anyone when it is scheduled....

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  • lellyminelellymine member
    lalala8 said:

    lellymine said:

    MIL told me I was incredibly selfish for not going to donate blood with her and her daughters. Lady, I stand up too fast and I get dizzy. I don't think this is the time to be giving blood.

    Are you supposed to give blood while pregnant? I certainly never do.
    I'm not sure. I just didn't feel like risking passing out
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  • christinemurray91christinemurray91 member
    Omg. My list is SO long, but she's started to 'get it', so its been less awful than usual. Most recently:

    She knows we're team yellow this time around, and she most likely knows that its because she was SO awful about DD being a girl that she caused a huge falling out between us all and a lot of stress for me and DH. Do you think that's stopped her from flooding my fb and asking every time she sees us asking 'So, did you find out the gender yet?' I'd, personally like a boy this time, but am secretly hoping for a girl just because I know DD will be swept under the rug and she'll get crazy overbearing with DS.

    She's watching DD for the day Saturday because its DH's birthday. I totally appreciate that. Then she continued to tell me EXACTLY what to pack and why  (even basics, like diapers and clothes... and then why).

    ... She's 2.5 years old, I've done this a few times. I know what she'll need for the day... but thanks for treating me like an incompetent mom.
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  • jacksohajacksoha member
    My MIL is definitely an interesting character. We get along and she tries not to be overbearing, but sometimes she says the worst things!
    When I was dealing with nausea during my first trimester she told me (through my DH) to be careful not to milk it too much in the first trimester or my DH would get tired of taking care of me by the end... Ummm helllooo I feel nauseous all day long, how is that considered "milking it."
    She has also complained on a few occasions that she is worried the baby won't love her as much as it will love my family... Well maybe because my family isn't crazy and is much more welcoming and open?? My MIL wouldn't even meet me until I had a ring on my finger. And that pattern has only continued from there. She is definitely one of those people who wants to see us on her time and when it is convienient for her...
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  • kbellizio3kbellizio3 member
    Love my MIL, but luckily I have a Step MIL who is NUTS.

    Nothing as crazy as you ladies have said, but she did tell me two weeks before I found out I was pregnant that she was 'too young' to be a grandmother and we need to wait at least until her kids are out of HS. (She's 46, married my FIL who's 57, not my fault).

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  • hlp2709hlp2709 member
    I get along with MIL but there are times when I wish she would just back off a little bit with making sure we are doing everything the right way. She sometimes thinks we need to be over there all the time and it really gets to me only because some days I wish we would just stay home and do nothing at all.
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  • jshropjshrop member
    ElTrain5 said:
    almendarez said:
    I love my MIL!  I actually rather hang out with her than my own mother most of the time...


    This is the equivalent of going to an AA meeting and expounding on  your love of cocktails :(  (I kid, of course...a little)

    Edit: The MIL Support group will forgive your transgression because your dog has an adorable neck tie.  ;)

    Oh, oops sorry! :p  Where is the "I can't stand my mother" support group?
    Oh!!! I'll definitely join that group lol!
    I love my MIL and we get along 95% of the time.... Then there's the 5%....
    She's closer to me than DH, so she sometimes feels it's okay to complain about DH to me. I'm often defending him to his own mother.
    She informed me that she expects to be in the delivery room while I'm having the baby. When I told her I just wanted DH and me she was off put and said That's not happening
    Thankfully she lives 14 hrs+ away, but it drives me crazy sometimes when people feel they can dictate what will happen to your privacy.
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  • ElTrain5ElTrain5 member
    Jesus @mindyvl. That's truly
    Awful :(

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  • ShineoncrazyShineoncrazy member
    MIL is usually pretty sweet, but she tells me huge family secrets before I can stop her and then says "Don't tell your husband." Some of it has been pretty burdensome stuff. I tell my husband everything, but I don't want to be the messenger. 

    Sidebar: SIL who I rarely have problems with posted a huge pink baby bow on Facebook and tagged DH and I in it. Normally not a problem, but we didn't plan to say anything on FB, and there are quite a few people in my family that we haven't had a chance to tell yet and found out via a stranger's post.

     
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  • kbellizio3kbellizio3 member
    edited January 2014
    Rachel5130 said:

    kbellizio3 said:

    Love my MIL, but luckily I have a Step MIL who is NUTS.

    Nothing as crazy as you ladies have said, but she did tell me two weeks before I found out I was pregnant that she was 'too young' to be a grandmother and we need to wait at least until her kids are out of HS. (She's 46, married my FIL who's 57, not my fault).

    I would have been a total bitch and said something along the lines of, "Well good thing you won't be a grandma from us then."

    Some of these MILs are nuts... I can't imagine!

    When I went home, I called my MIL and told her what had happened how upset I was etc and my MIL goes "WELL, since I'LL be the grandma I'm totally down for whenever you want to give me one." My mom said something along those lines. It made me feel better. My Step MIL had a great reaction actually when we told her we were pregnant, but now she's criticizing me for what I'm eatin because "her grandchild can't be having cake or Mac and cheese" uhhh why? It's not all I eat.

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  • pcourtadepcourtade member
    almendarez said:


    ElTrain5 said:


    almendarez said:

    I love my MIL!  I actually rather hang out with her than my own mother most of the time...


    This is the equivalent of going to an AA meeting and expounding on  your love of cocktails :(  (I kid, of course...a little)

    Edit: The MIL Support group will forgive your transgression because your dog has an adorable neck tie.  ;)


    Oh, oops sorry! :p  Where is the "I can't stand my mother" support group?


    I totally would be apart if this one. I'm actually going out to lunch with her today and I'm totally dreading it.
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  • ShineoncrazyShineoncrazy member
    Babywear said:
    @Shineoncrazy I have my FB settings set so nothing goes on my wall without approval... And I can 'hide' everything. It doesn't stop it showing up elsewhere, but it stops my 'friends' seeing things (like my sisters 'a little too early' post about me being a mum)
    Thanks so much for the advice - I didn't even think to do this! My settings are now changed, since I can't necessarily trust people to be thoughtful about what they post!

     
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  • MrsCase1MrsCase1 member
    I'm the one that can never share anything because of the internet stalking. Look for my AE created for just such things....
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  • john316loverjohn316lover member
    edited January 2014
    Where to start?

    1. At our wedding she was (rightfully) angry with my FIL so she didn't get up from her table once. Never greeted her guests, never danced, never acknowledged she was at our wedding.

    2. After our wedding she volunteered to help our pastor with our license. She crumpled it and hid it in the trash so we couldn't file it to be legally married.

    3. I asked her to come visit for two weeks when this baby gets here. My kid loves her and I thought it would be beneficial in a lot of ways. She starts saying how she wants my BIL to come with her. They're creepily inseperable. I explain to her that I am having major abdominal surgery and it probably isn't a good idea for him to come that first week. We also have a small house and no room. When he came the first time for my other kid's birth, they looked at it as a vacation and I did not enjoy the visit for multiple reasons, including his comment of, "Why does she still look so fat and pregnant? She had the baby a week ago?!?" She told me I should be happy that is how BIL wants to spend his precious time. Finally on Christmas it was clear she wasn't getting the hint because she said she and BIL would stay in a hotel (how does it help me for you to stay in a hotel 30 minutes away? I need assistance IN my home, not in between vacationing.) So I finally put my foot down on Christmas and said he had to come the following week or perhaps the next month for my other kid's birthday. She agrees.

    The next day my husband gets a call at work full of drama. My husband works in a job that makes it dangerous for him to be taken off the market emotionally. He needs to focus and be drama free while at work. So he says he will call her after work. She calls again as he is driving home and puts my BIL on the phone. My BIL proceeds to verbally abuse my husband, call him a "MOFO" and tell my husband he doesn't even want to meet our new baby. All very hurtful. All because my MIL told my BIL we said we didn't want him to come meet our new baby!! She blatantly lied! I never said that. Supposedly BIL was quietly eavesdropping on Christmas because MIL had me on speakerphone (unbeknownst to me) but if that were true he would've known I didn't say that. If  I were BIL I would be hurt too if I thought I wasn't welcome to meet my brother's baby but that was NOT the case. But instead of calling my husband to sort it out, he believed my MIL's lie. Nevermind that she would cause this drama between her sons who already have a strained relationship. Nevermind that she was mad at me but dragged my husband into it rather than confronting me like a grown woman. Nevermind that she allowed one child to verbally abuse another. She tried calling and acting like nothing happened and my husband was like, "UH, my wife is still extremely distressed over what you said/did." Her response was, "Well, that's how I took it so now we need to work through it." WHAT?!?!? What is there to work through? You lied! I am so tired of seeing my husband mistreated. He tries to be loving and respectful but they only look at him as the kid they knew when he was 17. They don't respect him. And frankly, I have no desire to bring someone into my home to visit that doesn't respect my husband and his role in our family. My husband does NOT deserve to be mistreated. They have never liked me, never considered me family and blame me for our move to another state (DH's idea.) I'm over winning their approval. I just want them to be kind to my husband.
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  • ElTrain5ElTrain5 member
    @john316lover ::hugs::

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  • MSUMandsMSUMands member
    My MIL and I have been strained from the get-go. It could be because she insisted my DH tell her my full name after date #1 so she could Facebook stalk/friend me. That's not creepy for a man in his mid-twenties at all.

    When we told her we were moving in together, she cried. When we told her we got engaged, she sobbed and I literally thought she might be having some kind of seizure or heart attack because she handed the phone to my FIL and started screaming at the top of her lungs and stomping around her house. When we told her we were SO excited to be pregnant with DS #1, she said something to the affect of "Couldn't keep it in your pants, huh?" She was visiting when I was about 6 months pregnant and a package arrived from my mom for my birthday. There were some baby items in there, a couple blankets and onesies, nothing major. She STOMPS HER FEET up the stairs like a 2 year old (in MY f'ing house!!) and throws a tantrum in the guest room. More screaming, throwing things, audibly crying and begging for attention.

    Whenever my husband asks her "what do you want from me!?" she confesses she always thought my DH would live at home forever, stay in his childhood room, and never get married. Sounds healthy to me!

    Our "dream city" where we would love to live is a mere 4 hours away from her, but my DH and I agree that we can never live closer than we do now (2000 miles). Sad.

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  • Dml9713Dml9713 member
    I could go on and on as well. During my first pregnancy (which I lost) she kept making inappropriate comments and saying we "haven't had confirmation of pregnancy yet" because we hadn't had our appt. and seen the heartbeat. One day she started talking about all of her miscarriages and how she found out etc. I tried to not let it bother me but it got into my head and I went into a panic and freak out BEFORE I actually miscarried. Needless to say I have many reservations and anxieties about seeing her during this pregnancy. My husband insisted on telling his parents early even though I would've preferred to wait. Now I'm 9wks3days pregnant. The other day my husband told me he talked to his mom about boundaries and not talking about her experiences etc. the very following day we went to a dinner and she brought up 2 of her miscarriages at 2 different times! Having experienced a miscarriage myself, I thought it was natural and common sense for a woman not to talk about her miscarriages to a. Currently pregnant woman! MIL of the year award
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  • Lindsleigh77Lindsleigh77 member
    My MIL even though she typically has good intentions can be the most annoying and needy person I have ever met in my life. She is 74 years old, constantly complains, constantly calls and always at dinner time like WTF, can you not call any other time than when we are trying to have a family meal, do you really need to call every freaking night!!. She came to watch DS's swim lessons last week and bitched the whole time about how skinny DS is and that she prefers fat children, like really? kindly eff off please, my son eats plenty and is really active so he is skinny but not even close to malnourished, apparently she would prefer him to be overweight and fat so she would be happier. Makes no sense to me but whatever. She also gives him unsafe toys to play with like a casino swipe card attached to a long rope that quickly turned into a nun chuck style weapon and or strangling hazard or a retractable mini measuring tape (he cut his hand) all because he wanted them, well he wants lots of things its up to you the adult to say no when it is unsafe or inappropriate. Last time we went out for supper my DS kept putting his hand in the water to play with the ice cubes so I took the glass away and told him no and to wait for his juice, she then handed him her cup to do the same thing....... if looks could kill I swear, but she seemed totally oblivious. Anyways, end of rant. image
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  • Hairstylist16Hairstylist16 member
    My MIL Gives Me So Much Anxiety That I Just Try To Avoid Her. After We Picked A Name For My Son She Told The Whole Town(Very Small Town) That She Hated The Name And Hoped We Changed It. I Have A Million Other Examples But I'm Mobile Bumping And Its Capitalizing Letters.
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  • butterflymom2010butterflymom2010 member
    My MIL started to show her true colors at our wedding--
     1. She insisted on us renting our reception centerpieces, arch and other decorations for our outdoor ceremony (and to go all out because she was going to reimburse us for our gift). We never saw a dime. Had we known, we would've budgeted.
     2. She yelled at me when we were setting up said outdoor decs the morning of because it was cutting into her "getting ready" time. She transported her hairdresser 3 hours just to have her hair done. Whose wedding was it?!?!
    3. The best part was when she was yelling at me, she called me by DH's baby's mom's name. He hadn't been with her in about 7 years. 

    Fast forward 2 years when I got my BFP for my DD--
    1. She took the liberty of announcing it on FB before we did. 
    2. When we confronted her, she told us she was "Done", "can't do anything right," "didn't want anything to do with us or the baby" blah blah. The silent treatment lasted about a blissful 3 months till she tried to act like nothing happened. 

    Finally, fast forward to present day-
    1. Once again, she took the liberty of announcing our BFP on FB (yeah, I know, our bad for trusting her after the last debacle. Apparently, she doesn't learn from her mistakes).
    2. Consequently, she got pissed when she found out "it is a girl" on FB along with the rest of our friends. Ha! Take that biotch!
    3. She lives 3 hours away along with the rest of DH's friends and family. We were always told that Christmas would be planned around us after DD was born. Nope, never happened. Always planned around DH's stepsisters (who live 10 miles from her). So, this year, we decided that we weren't driving the 3 hours on Christmas Eve morning (DH's one of two days off) to have to drive back 3 hours that night to be home for Christmas Day. That's when shit hit the fan. I got berated via FB for our decision. Once again, she was "Done" and "always left out" blah, blah.. She didn't say a word to her darling grown son...just me. It was allll my fault. That silent treatment lasted about a week, unfortunately. Now, she plans to come to DD's bday party and play Grandma of the Year next week. Well, she said the same thing last year and then messaged us when we pulled into the party place that they weren't coming. 

    *sigh* 


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  • nikki0808nikki0808 member
    My MIL got arrested this morning for missing court. (She was pulled over last month and she doesn't have her driver's license... And hasn't for about 4 years)... Oh, and she was entering the house her and her BF don't own anymore (bank took it for non-payment)... That's originally why the police saw her, told her not to drive (which she clearly did anyway), and then she missed court (she went last month and all she needed to do was pay a fine and reinstate her license)... So now I'm watching their 4 year old.

    Did I mention they live in our pool house out back? And since I've been back here I have found 3 of our towels, 2 coffee mugs, 2 steak knives, and my outdoor pillows in their area? (It's a separate building and they have their own stuff)... Not to mention they have totally f'd up our back porch (which I shouldn't be surprised... They don't take care of anything of their own, why would they for anyone else's property?

    That's just today... I could go on and in and on... And don't get me started on my own mom... She's BSC.

    I love my FIL and step-MIL :-) got that going for me I guess

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  • hjl050308hjl050308 member
    I too could write a series about my mother-in-law, actually all of my inlays (the women that is).  Let's just say that after years of taking her abuse towards me (I was a princess, uppity, etc) and my son (DS2 wasn't born at the time), we had enough and didn't talk to her for over two years.  In that time, I had DS2 and we never told her, she only found out because a family member heard from a family friend.  She sent her three sons to the hospital to get the story of what happened.  After hearing that DS2 was born 7 weeks premature and was in the NICU, that I almost died after child birth, you'd think the bitch would call her son to check on him.  Nope.  He reached out to her a year ago, she's seen her grandsons 3 times, which is plenty.  SHe knows I'm pregnant again (stupid brother-in-law told her) but that hasn't changed anything between us.  She's an evil troll.  
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  • LegalLadyBugLegalLadyBug member
    Mine isn't as bad as some others, but it's enough to really bother me lately.

    1) she is constantly trying to find a job for me. I looked for months before getting pregnant and with it being twins and bring high risk for various health reasons, DH and I decided I should put off the search till this summer. Every weekend she asks me about jobs and suggests people she knows I could do legal work for. Every weekend I explain to her our decision on my working. Wait till she finds out I may not be working till these kids are in school since full time child care for a toddler and two infants will run around $2,500 a month.

    2) We have dinner at her house once a week and whenever DD doesn't eat and we're trying to get her to, or trying to get her to behave at the table, MIL tells her not to worry because soon we won't care if she eats or not. REALLY?!? Could you please not tell my 2.5 year old that when her sisters, who she is really excited about, get here we won't care about her anymore?!?

    There's probably more but those are my top two issues with her right now.

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