So we're here. I know it's a phase, i know most kids go through it, but i am struggling with this. I am not ready to start punishing a not even one year old.. My mother and MIL both want me to start putting him in time out in his crib when he hits, but i don't want him to associate his bed or bedroom with punishment, and honestly he wouldn't understand what was happening to him anyways.. He wouldn't get why mommy just left him there for seemingly no reason. I can't. I tell him no, that hurts, we don't do that, and i redirect him, and it is slow going but it's the only way i know how to deal with misbehavior at this age. Anyone else here? What has worked for you STMs in the past?
7/5/11 MC at 8 weeks. 5/17/12 BFP, twins EDD 1/20/13! 6/20/12 Baby B's heart has stopped beating. 8/31/12 Baby A is a boy! And is perfectly healthy and thriving. 1/19/2013 emergency c-section, Thoren is perfect. 3/1/2013 told i will never be able to conceive again. 12/16/13 told they were wrong!
I know DD recognizes when she's doing something wrong but she doesn't hit. She gets a very specific grin when she's misbehaving. I haven't punished her but I will lay her flat on the floor if she really starts up with a tantrum [mostly so she won't fall over if I leave her standing/sitting]
I agree that putting him in the crib is a mistake. I think the bedroom is only for reading & sleeping so I won't be using the crib as a baby prison.
DS has started hitting and pinching when he's mad and I just hold his hands together and say no, we don't do that. And then I redirect. He doesn't understand yet so there is no punishing I can really do.
Amelia smacked me in the face yesterday for no apparent reason. She wasn't tantrum-ing so different situation, but I just held her hand and said "no hitting, be gentle" and I stroked my face with her hand. I've done that when she's been over zealous with my parents' dogs and it seems to work. However, during a tantrum? No clue. I'd probably just lay her down. :-)
DS has started hitting and pinching when he's mad and I just hold his hands together and say no, we don't do that. And then I redirect. He doesn't understand yet so there is no punishing I can really do.
This is what I do.
**Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**
Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
Due 12/29/2012
I'm not sure if what DS' outbursts count as tantrums. He has not gotten physical from anger yet, but I'm sure it's coming. He mostly just gives the most pathetic boo boo face and begins to cry really hard if I have to take something away from him. In those cases, re-directing has worked pretty well for us.
However, when he does a behavior that I don't like (ie slurping bathwater like a dog) I usually just say "No (insert behavior / body part here)"... so in this case "No mouth." He's actually starting to get it.
I completely agree with you that the crib shouldn't be used for timeouts. I would be afraid that he would start associating being in his crib with being uncomfortable. I'd much rather re-direct his attention during a tantrum than deal with major sleep regression.
DD doesn't hit in anger/frustration yet, but she can be very grabby or smack us and/or the animals in play. We hold her hands to stop her from what we DON'T want her to do, and then we show her what we DO want her to do by saying "Gentle touches, see?" and we have her "pet" us or the animals gently. Then we usually have to redirect. This does work to some extent because she is really into imitating everything we do. If we show gentle touches and pets, she will usually follow.
I don't think we've seen any tantrums yet, some whines and a little cries but I just say no no and redirect him to something else. I'm sure it will get more challenging here very shortly.
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!** BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks **Missing our February '12 LoveBug** BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
I usually just say "no, that hurts mommy" and put DS down on the floor. No idea if it's effective or not, but that's what I tell people to do with their pets. Maybe I should break out the spray bottle and start crate training?
Sorry, but this made me laugh. We use a spray bottle for our dog all of the time. LOL!
DS has started having tantrums. He usually throws himself on the floor and rolls around. DH and I generally ignore him. If he hits or pushes, we just put him on the floor and walk away. As soon as he quiets down we will pick him up and tell him that we love him. I don't think I will start time outs until he will understand them more (maybe by 2). In our family the first step of a flight of stairs is the time out spot since everyone's house has one. This way it is consistent and it is not a place that should be associated with anything in particular.
TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)
BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d
Re: Anyone else? Baby has started hitting during tantrums.
**Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**
Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
Due 12/29/2012
However, when he does a behavior that I don't like (ie slurping bathwater like a dog) I usually just say "No (insert behavior / body part here)"... so in this case "No mouth." He's actually starting to get it.
I completely agree with you that the crib shouldn't be used for timeouts. I would be afraid that he would start associating being in his crib with being uncomfortable. I'd much rather re-direct his attention during a tantrum than deal with major sleep regression.
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
Sorry, but this made me laugh. We use a spray bottle for our dog all of the time. LOL!
DS has started having tantrums. He usually throws himself on the floor and rolls around. DH and I generally ignore him. If he hits or pushes, we just put him on the floor and walk away. As soon as he quiets down we will pick him up and tell him that we love him. I don't think I will start time outs until he will understand them more (maybe by 2). In our family the first step of a flight of stairs is the time out spot since everyone's house has one. This way it is consistent and it is not a place that should be associated with anything in particular.
TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)
BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d
BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13
BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks
BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby