August 2013 Moms

sexy time!(spin from saturday secrets)

I keep thinking about all of you that admitted to having little to no sex in your relationships and I just can't stand it! I thought it might be fun for some of us to share ideas/tips/books/toys ect whatever gets us back in the mood. Any takers?


You dont have to answer every question just throwing out ideas to get things started:
What do you do to keep things from getting boring?
Have you done it in any crazy places?
Where is your favorite place to buy lingerie? what kind? (traditional? costumes?)
What would your husband say is your best move?


This is a personal for me: any couples toys recommendations? We are in the market for something new 

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Re: sexy time!(spin from saturday secrets)

  • If I'm not feeling in the mood, which is alot lately, I pour myself a glass of wine get into a hot bath( I always feel sexier when I'm clean) and find some erotic literature on Google to read in the bath to get me in the mood!then I surprise dh with a "massage". I prefer sex not to be planned, I find I'm much more turned on by spontaneity! Also dirty talk is the best. ;)
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    Leo John, Born August 12th 2013


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  • @Ktbug613 I could hug you right now!!! This thread is going to be the perfect encouragement that I need!!
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  • Marvel1013Marvel1013 member
    edited January 2014
    It's usually the "best" when it starts off as a date night. The kids are off at grandparents or out for the day, and we have alone time. We go out to dinner and a movie or something like it's an actual date.. Do some flirting (because let's face it, we haven't gone out in along time and it feels like something new again). Sometimes just matching bra and panties will do the trick! I don't have nice lingerie.. Everytime I go to try it on in store, it just doesn't look right. I have a couple plain black lace nighties. If things get boring I just try to liven it up abit.. H likes it if I initiate it, so I've snuck into the shower while he's in there, played that dice game, or sent him a text on his way home from work with a few choice words ;) best move.. H would say my BJ skills are F'ing fantastic photo 131E1F24-A1FD-40B2-BB47-1D42D62EC4EA.gif


    Eta- I reworded my BJ talk ;) I just asked H what he would say
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  • Ktbug613Ktbug613 member
    edited January 2014
    @katier2310 love the quote from your H!
    cant go wrong with a bj is there something special you do?

    i love getting dressed up corsets are my faav because it hides my flab. the sexier i feel the better it is for us. Ive never fit into anything elsr thanks to my amazon boobs but as soon as im healed from my breast reduction im headed straight to vs!
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  • Thank-you for posting this! Fingers crossed some of the advice on here helps me.

    When things get boring I like to take it outside of the bedroom. I have a drawer full of outfits, I doubt any would fit/look good anymore. I have plenty of toys and books to help get things going. Our sex life used to be awesome.

    The problem is I feel like an idiot when I try new things. I'm so self conscious. I hate my body, I hate the way I look and that's all I can think about which ruins the mood. It really doesn't help that sex is still uncomfortable for me. I want to want it. I really, really do. I just can't. Thank god for H being so understanding.

    image
  • Best toy: vibrating cock ring

    We've only dtd 5 times since LO because it hurt too damn bad even with lube. The last time was pretty good so I think I'm ready to get back in the saddle (pun intended)

    I've never been into lingerie. I've never felt really comfy in it and my H would just rather me naked.

    Erotica literature usually helps me out . I have one on my kindle which I really need to start reading so can get that number up.

    Love the thread btw
  • I have always had a low sex drive and H is the total opposite. I don't really have anything in particular I do to get me in the mood but listening to DH sing & play his guitar works. Unfortunately it usually just comes down to if I feel like it or not when DH indicates interest. I feel horrible about it. We used to pull over on the side of the road or drive down some hidden back streets to have quickies every now & then. I have a couple pieces of lingerie but I feel too self conscious to wear them. I like either just a matching bra & panties or a tank top & panties. As for what he thinks I do well he says BJ skills are "Just...wow! I can't even...yeah. Wow!"
  • This is fun. I'm usually the one who gets things started here. I like to start things before I leave for work. A little hand massage and a mini make out sesh. During the day I'll send a few texts to keep the fire going. By the time he gets home he's been hurting all day. H always takes a shower when he gets home so I may go in or wait till he's done to do some oral stimulation and walk away. Once DD is down were ready :) Crazy places we've done it-side of the highway, on a log by a lake and the loading dock of a walmart are a few. I asked H my best move and he said idk because he doesn't know what made him go =P~ while I gave him a BJ yesterday.
    ahh I can't get out of the quote box! You guys are awesome!
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  • lettyenglish we have several of the vibrating rings...LOVE them. If any of you ladies don't have one get one ASAP!
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  • Ktbug613 said:
    lettyenglish we have several of the vibrating rings...LOVE them. If any of you ladies don't have one get one ASAP!
    We used to use one when we wanted to spice things up.  Maybe I should make H go get one this week.
    I have quite a bit of lingerie.  I love wearing it.  It makes me feel sexy, well it used to.  I think part of myproblem is I am just too tired and I cannot have sex if I do not feel clean.  This maybe TMI but if I have number 2'd that day you can count me out for sexy time.

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  • I feel like I know nothing when it comes to sex and Bj's. It's a wonder how we had a kid! *embarrassed*
  • I so take pride in my blow job abilities. DH loves my "porn star" move where I will go down on him, then ride him a little bit then, back to blow job. That blows his mind. I also swallow. That's right!! It's a huge turn on for me.

    Let's see weirdest places road headers, side of a highway, and that's prob it.
  • I'm not really confident on my bj skills, I get bored but I do everything mentioned before. But I have really good rhythmic Puerto Rican hips.

    Craziest place would be in a pool full of people, good ole no inhibitions college days
  • JaymeMacJaymeMac member
    edited January 2014

    Ktbug613 said:

    @katier2310 love the quote from your H!
    cant go wrong with a j is there something special you do?

    i love getting dressed up corsets are my faav because it hides my flab. the sexier i feel the better it is for us. Ive never fit into anything elsr thanks to my amazon boobs but as soon as im healed from my breast reduction im headed straight to vs!

    Well I'm definitely hands on.. Lol. I thought that was funny. But seriously, I use a hand as well. Sometimes like a two in one, HJ and BJ if you catch my drift. And tease a bit, I don't just give it my all right off the bat.. Use tongue. And some guys are balls guys, some aren't.. So maybe some.. Cupage.

    oh wow. I just reread that..
    " Cupage!!!!!!" That has to be the best word I have ever read. Almost peed my pants ,thanks for that. =)) edit: wrong smiley.
  • I'm not really confident on my bj skills, I get bored but I do everything mentioned before. But I have really good rhythmic Puerto Rican hips. Craziest place would be in a pool full of people, good ole no inhibitions college days
    *gasp* pool full of people?!! did anyone notice?
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  • I wear lingerie sometimes.. mostly black stuff from VS. I also take pride in my bj skills haha. Incorporating the hands in important, and my other technique is going really deep. A tip for going deep if you gag (tmi?) is to make a fist with your left hand, with your thumb in it. I feel like that may need to be worded better. For toys, we use vibrators (for me), and .... bum stuff. Too much? I think the toys and dirty talk keep sex from getting boring. 
    We've done it in the car on the side of the road, but otherwise not much in public. He always gets road head when we travel though. Or at least he used to pre- baby! 
  • Ktbug613 said:



    I'm not really confident on my bj skills, I get bored but I do everything mentioned before. But I have really good rhythmic Puerto Rican hips.

    Craziest place would be in a pool full of people, good ole no inhibitions college days

    *gasp* pool full of people?!! did anyone notice?

    Oh my!!! That's daring...Bravo... X_X
  • I thought nobody noticed but it turns out most people did. My guy friends thought it was the coolest thing ever girlfriends were repulsed. Everyone had to ask first so I guess it wasn't too obvious.
  • Wow may I just say I'm very impressed with you ladies!!! Cupage, road head?! Go girl! I'm definitely a fan of the 2'fer Hj Bj and I think DH is a fan of "cupage" not too much though. I have lingerie and luckily it's more of the doll baby looser top style so I'll have to try and pull that out again. Some haven't been worn since the honeymoon.

    My problem is, DH is just as embarrassed about bringin in toys and new stuff as I am. I tried to get some tame stuff from a passion party like a candle that melted into hot pourable oil and he was not with it. I'm quite interested in this cock ring you all speak of, but I really think DH would reject it. We're so lame
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    TTC since July 2011
    HSG normal in May 2012 followed by three unmonitored clomid cycles unsuccessful
    Unexplained female infertility (My husband apparently has super sperm)
    IUI # 1 Nov 24
    BFP Dec 8! EDD Aug 17th, due to Preeclampsia and HELLP, Kylie Penelope was born July 30th!


  • @ashleyamberRN my H was leery about the CR at first too, until we tried it and he saw how into I was. We pretty much don't have sex without one now
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  • I wear lingerie sometimes.. mostly black stuff from VS. I also take pride in my bj skills haha. Incorporating the hands in important, and my other technique is going really deep. A tip for going deep if you gag (tmi?) is to make a fist with your left hand, with your thumb in it. I feel like that may need to be worded better. For toys, we use vibrators (for me), and .... bum stuff. Too much? I think the toys and dirty talk keep sex from getting boring. 

    We've done it in the car on the side of the road, but otherwise not much in public. He always gets road head when we travel though. Or at least he used to pre- baby! 
    Haha yes! Road head. H is a road head receiver Lol
    photo df19160f-bf4d-4b1a-aa18-f922c7344247.jpgphoto 6650edf4-b52e-4beb-a3cd-6bdc9480c61c.jpg
    ~may siggy challenge~


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  • I have a vibrating cock ring we've never opened. Looks like I need to bust that out. H is a morning sexer. I hate that. All bad breath, smelly, ugh. Worse now that we have a baby. It's like never. He just hates night sex.

    I'm the bomb on top. But I'd rather be on the bottom. Plain ol missionary hits the spot. But after that I'm whatever.

    We've had sex outdoors in te parking lot at a Rangers game, and in the woods. And in the back of his Xterra (now known as the Sexterra).
  • @Ktbug613 I could hug you right now!!! This thread is going to be the perfect encouragement that I need!!
    This!!!! Bring on the tips! I need the fire to come back! 

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  • Ok this thread is amazing!!! I am also looking for toys so keep the ideas coming!

    I apparently suck a bjs and am totally clueless. Think the main problem is size. Advice or an how to? Lol
    :\">
  • I also have no sex drive! We have DTD 1x since LO and had to stop- too painful. I've never been 100% comfortable with sex because of awful experiences from the past and a verbally abusive, cheating bf.

    If I've had a few drinks, then I'm definitely in the mood. A massage also gets me in the mood.

    Best places we've had sex...for sure Aruba! On our balcony and also on the beach...both at night.
    I need to force myself to initiate or try to be more comfortable. I'm with some of the other pp from Saturday Secrets, I'm afraid H will go elsewhere. (I don't actually think he would cheat, just my own insecurities.
  • I swear by the sexy picture. I sent a few to bf last night.

    Bf and i are into bondage so um yeah theres that so we have all sorts of crazy toys.

    Craziest place bf and i hooked up. In his old car outside a nature preserve.
    image
  • okay time to get personal......I can only have an O from clit stimulation (hence the CR ) how many of you can O from penetration alone? were you always able or did you have to figure it ou and what positions work best? I think being able to do that would make our sex life soar
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  • Ktbug613 said:

    okay time to get personal......I can only have an O from clit stimulation (hence the CR ) how many of you can O from penetration alone? were you always able or did you have to figure it ou and what positions work best? I think being able to do that would make our sex life soar

    I can but only on top and only sometimes does it work. Otherwise it's clit stimulation or when he fingers me I can have multiple O's from that. I think we need to invest in a CR. It would probably do wonders for us.
  • I'm not lacking in my sex drive but our problem is that when someone is in the mood the other isn't so we go weeks in between having sex. I bought a sexy outfit after LO was born but have only worn it once. I just feel terrible about myself looking gross or something I guess.

    We used to do it in a bunch of crazy places but it's pretty much confined to the bed now...which I hate. We need to try either a different place or something else to get things spiced up. And i seriously neglect SO. He hasn't had a Bj since before I was pregnant but he definitely was a fan of the Bj and hj combo.
  • Ktbug613 said:

    @katier2310 love the quote from your H!
    cant go wrong with a j is there something special you do?

    i love getting dressed up corsets are my faav because it hides my flab. the sexier i feel the better it is for us. Ive never fit into anything elsr thanks to my amazon boobs but as soon as im healed from my breast reduction im headed straight to vs!

    Well I'm definitely hands on.. Lol. I thought that was funny. But seriously, I use a hand as well. Sometimes like a two in one, HJ and BJ if you catch my drift. And tease a bit, I don't just give it my all right off the bat.. Use tongue. And some guys are balls guys, some aren't.. So maybe some.. Cupage.

    oh wow. I just reread that..
    Oh my god!
    photo B87DB103-D5B1-4EF9-B1FC-06A0C6C954BA_zps1mi6bkjh.gif
    I love you so much.

    A cocktail usually helps me. I honestly am into "pretty porn" as Lisa Rena calls it! Nothing raunchy. Nothing hardcore. But it does the trick (I'm sure similar to reading, maybe I'm just more visual ;) ) it is hard to not be in the mood after. Plus I like to get things going before hand with my vibrator of you know what I mean ;).

    I hate being naked, eapecially now, lingerie is not really existent in this house...We have only DTD a handful since the baby has been born, because we both tend to choose sleep. But I will have to step up my game! So thanks for some tips :)

  • LiylaRae said:

    I'm not lacking in my sex drive but our problem is that when someone is in the mood the other isn't so we go weeks in between having sex. I bought a sexy outfit after LO was born but have only worn it once. I just feel terrible about myself looking gross or something I guess.

    We used to do it in a bunch of crazy places but it's pretty much confined to the bed now...which I hate. We need to try either a different place or something else to get things spiced up. And i seriously neglect SO. He hasn't had a Bj since before I was pregnant but he definitely was a fan of the Bj and hj combo.

    So, is it baby weight gain thats bothering you? I kbow mine bothers me. Try a corset. Not a crappy cheap hot topic corset either. Go to a sex shop in the clothes they will have amazing beautiful corsets that will make things look fuller and flatter. I have a couple corsets.
    image
  • Ktbug613 said:

    okay time to get personal......I can only have an O from clit stimulation (hence the CR ) how many of you can O from penetration alone? were you always able or did you have to figure it ou and what positions work best? I think being able to do that would make our sex life soar

    My orgasms are so much more satisfying via penetration than clitoral. I never had an O with previous boyfriends until DH. My only requirement is me on top. I have to lean slightly forward to hit the spot. I also can't be too wet or I don't get the right amount of friction. I can get off on bottom but usually I need clitoral simulation.

    image  image 


    BFP #1 11/26/2012, EDD 8/7/2013, Elise Anne born 8/1/2013
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  • Ktbug613 said:

    okay time to get personal......I can only have an O from clit stimulation (hence the CR ) how many of you can O from penetration alone? were you always able or did you have to figure it ou and what positions work best? I think being able to do that would make our sex life soar

    Same here. Hence the we vibe. It is SO worth the money, I HIGHLY recommend it... In fact we busted it out today. ;)

    image
  • LAMuehlen said:

    LiylaRae said:

    I'm not lacking in my sex drive but our problem is that when someone is in the mood the other isn't so we go weeks in between having sex. I bought a sexy outfit after LO was born but have only worn it once. I just feel terrible about myself looking gross or something I guess.

    We used to do it in a bunch of crazy places but it's pretty much confined to the bed now...which I hate. We need to try either a different place or something else to get things spiced up. And i seriously neglect SO. He hasn't had a Bj since before I was pregnant but he definitely was a fan of the Bj and hj combo.

    So, is it baby weight gain thats bothering you? I kbow mine bothers me. Try a corset. Not a crappy cheap hot topic corset either. Go to a sex shop in the clothes they will have amazing beautiful corsets that will make things look fuller and flatter. I have a couple corsets.
    I've lost all my baby weight it's just the flabby tummy and all the stretch marks that I'm self conscious about. And I still want to lose some weight. I should look into getting a corset. I've also been wanting to try one of those massage oil candles.
  • Ktbug613 said:

    @katier2310 love the quote from your H!
    cant go wrong with a j is there something special you do?

    i love getting dressed up corsets are my faav because it hides my flab. the sexier i feel the better it is for us. Ive never fit into anything elsr thanks to my amazon boobs but as soon as im healed from my breast reduction im headed straight to vs!

    Well I'm definitely hands on.. Lol. I thought that was funny. But seriously, I use a hand as well. Sometimes like a two in one, HJ and BJ if you catch my drift. And tease a bit, I don't just give it my all right off the bat.. Use tongue. And some guys are balls guys, some aren't.. So maybe some.. Cupage.

    oh wow. I just reread that..
    Oh my god!
    photo B87DB103-D5B1-4EF9-B1FC-06A0C6C954BA_zps1mi6bkjh.gif
    I love you so much.

    A cocktail usually helps me. I honestly am into "pretty porn" as Lisa Rena calls it! Nothing raunchy. Nothing hardcore. But it does the trick (I'm sure similar to reading, maybe I'm just more visual ;) ) it is hard to not be in the mood after. Plus I like to get things going before hand with my vibrator of you know what I mean ;).

    I hate being naked, eapecially now, lingerie is not really existent in this house...We have only DTD a handful since the baby has been born, because we both tend to choose sleep. But I will have to step up my game! So thanks for some tips :)


    photo 473A49EE-7BFC-4897-A8F7-CC5D3CB63A53.gif

    Duh!
    photo df19160f-bf4d-4b1a-aa18-f922c7344247.jpgphoto 6650edf4-b52e-4beb-a3cd-6bdc9480c61c.jpg
    ~may siggy challenge~


    photo IMG_20140501_070346.gif photo IMG_20140501_071323.gif
  • @liylarae if your self conscious about your new body why not try some lingerie?? it will hide your tummy and make you feel pretty
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