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Porn

Snikle512Snikle512 member
in May 2014 Moms
Yep, you read that. Porn. Whats your policy in your home?

Personally, I am not a fan. At all. And do not like it in my relationship. Maybe that's an insecurity on my part but it's just something I have never been comfortable with.
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  • Snikle512Snikle512 member
    I should add I do not judge any one who partakes in it. To each their own!! Just not for me.
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  • momo214momo214 member
    I've never run across it on the computer. Once DH slipped up and I saw a pic on his phone. I made a huge stink to make a point but wasn't actually mad, if that makes sense. I just don't want to see it.
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  • ThereBeDragonsThereBeDragons member
    It is not possible to care less than I already do about porn. DH is welcome to it. In fact, I hope he's using it to take the edge off- I've been on pelvic rest or throwing up since the end of August and I'm staying on pelvic rest until the end of April. Assuming I make it to 36w and have no further complications- I can have sex until I deliver.... If I don't make it to 36w, then he'll still be stuck without sex until I get the all clear postpartum 6-12 weeks later. Right now he's assuming this will just be a year of no sex. It makes us both sad.

    So yeah. 

    But the thing is- I didn't care about porn even before pregnancy. Never have. Just... Don't care. 
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  • CMDR513CMDR513 member
    Last pregnancy there was a weird CC charge. Turned out to be a porn charge. I flipped out on DH. I would rather not know about it. The whole getting off on other people doing it skeeves me out. Along the same subject, thoughts on Strip Clubs? I would rather him go there than watch porn.
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  • TheBeeCharmerTheBeeCharmer member
    I'm not really into it and neither is H. Outside of movies with sex scenes. Cheesy porn never did it for me.





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  • StorrmysStorrmys member
    I have enjoyed it in the past ... Single woman and all ... But since we have been together I don't think there has been a time when either of us watch it ...
    His take on it is why watch something that you can't participate in ...
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  • ebox322ebox322 member
    We've never really talked about it. I honestly don't know if he watches porn or not, and I think I'd rather it that way.

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  • CamrynnsMommyCamrynnsMommy member
    We watched it together pre-children, but not so much since.

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  • ajsweetonajsweeton member
    DH watches it. Hell, as we had to do an iui I probably wouldn't be pregnant if it wasn't for porn. Since I'm on pelvic rest we haven't had sec for almost 8 weeks and like @therebedragons won't unless I'm cleared at 34w. He's really struggling with the loss of intimacy in our marriage, but he's still able to do what he needs to. I'm ok with porn, but I'm not a huge fan of strip clubs. We went to one together once and it really bothered me to watch him get a lap dance. I'm ok with looking, but I sure as hell don't want him touching/being touched.
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  • alphalyraealphalyrae member
    DH watches it. I've watched it a few times with him during our marriage. It has never taken away from our relationship or harmed it in any way. I really don't care. Now if he was engaging in producing/filming/etc, we'd be having a whole other conversation.
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  • jjh471jjh471 member
    MissLadyTay said:

    I think this sums up my attitude nicely.

    Ditto. I know DH watches it who cares.
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  • Bootsie327Bootsie327 member
    I don't watch it regularly, but I don't find anything wrong with it at all. I am sure DH watches when I'm not home, too. As long as those watching don't become addicted, I say go nuts! There are countless ways to enjoy sexy time or to spice things up, so do whatever works!

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  • Divine0chaosDivine0chaos member
    I don't watch it not a fan at all. Hubby will late at night sometimes. Which doesn't bother me one bit. I'd rather him watch it an get his rocks off at home then feel the need to either bother me(HAHAHA) or find someone else (which he'd never do but you know). With this pregnancy I haven't been in the mood like I normally am so I understand its hard on him.
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  • DaisyTortillaDaisyTortilla member
    We don't watch it. DH used to but it it weird and he gave it up!

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  • ykristosykristos member
    pandadair said:
    I don't really care as far as my husband is concerned. It's not generally my bag, but I've watched some more lady-centric stuff from time to time. I really, really do not like the idea of my son getting his first and main exposure to sex via internet porn, though. I don't want his ideas of sex and women coming from what generally pops up online.
    All of the above. And the bold? Terrifying thought, blerg.


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  • singing_lynsinging_lyn member
    I had an ex that had a big issue with it and as our relationship progressed it got worse and worse. Obviously he's an ex now for a reason, but I still don't care for it with my husband. I know he'll look at pictures and help himself out sometimes but my thinking is that I'm right here and I've only ever shot him down once so why does he need it. And strip clubs are a big no for me but he knows that and agrees as in why pay for something that actually isn't fulfilling at all and just a tease and most of the time with not very attractive women.
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  • SweetTea420SweetTea420 member
    I know DH looks at it but I'm not a big fan of porn. I just think most of it is gross and fake. Pretty sure every man looks at porn, some just hide it better than others...
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  • Katemr1146Katemr1146 member
    I watch it occasionally because my husband shoots me down more often then I'd like. I know my husband watches it every so often as well. Probably not even as much as I do though. It doesn't bother me. Strip clubs don't bother me either. As long as it doesn't become an obsession, it's no big deal to me.
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  • kat8805kat8805 member
    My policy on porn/private time was made very clear, very early on in our relationship. I think I even terrified him with one fit. Porn is fine with me, I watch it from time to time because DH's sex drive is not exactly compatible with my own. That's fine, it runs in my family... and my mom and I joke about how we found and married the least sexed up men we found. Anyways... Porn is good, pictures of women who are not porn stars, sexual conversations with women, and the like, not ok. At all. DH had this stack of pictures from a long time ago from when him and his friends went to NOPI. Pictures of the bikini contest, pictures of some girl dancing at night, those sort of pictures. I came home from work one afternoon to find him all sweaty and blush. He said he was "pre-gaming." Uh thanks, how romantic, you had to get hard off these random ass pictures of women. We also had issues early on in our relationship with him having a cyber crush, and fling with a girl in GA. So I made it very clear that I had no issues with his private time. I had huge issues with how he was doing it. Porn is full of professionals, women, and men, who do what they do with the intent of getting people off. Those pictures, and that girl in GA, that was personal. That was him fantasizing over real people, who may or may not have intended to get him off, and taking it way too far. It was creepy almost. I still have issues with what transpired between him and GA.

    So in short, Porn=good. Everything else=me digging a hole.
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  • DaisyTortillaDaisyTortilla member
    edited January 2014
    SweetTea420 said:

    I know DH looks at it but I'm not a big fan of porn. I just think most of it is gross and fake. Pretty sure every man looks at porn, some just hide it better than others...

    That's a huge generalization about all men! I think most men have watched porn at some point in their life, out of curiosity or other reasons. However, some men honestly don't like it. I know DH did, but he gave it up on his own.

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  • ykristosykristos member
    dbautista88 said:
    I know DH looks at it but I'm not a big fan of porn. I just think most of it is gross and fake. Pretty sure every man looks at porn, some just hide it better than others...
    That's a huge generalization about all men! I think most men have watched porn at some point in their life, out of curiosity or other reasons. However, some men honestly don't like it. I know DH did, but he gave it up on his own.

    Yes, it is a huge generalization/stereotype, and similar to, "d'oh, I have to train my husband to do the laundry! You know, LOL, men." Men are not just a bunch of unthinking neanderthals.

    Some men watch porn just as some women watch porn, etc, etc. 

    It's probably too early for this. I'll stop now.


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  • mfosburghmfosburgh member
    britab said:

    None for either of us. For us it's part of our faith that we don't believe we should be watching it. 

    This 110%.

    I also cringe at the idea of our future son being introduced to porn...(IMO) unfortunately this is what the world has come to and what all of our children will be faced with in due time....
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  • TheBeeCharmerTheBeeCharmer member
    dbautista88 said:
    I know DH looks at it but I'm not a big fan of porn. I just think most of it is gross and fake. Pretty sure every man looks at porn, some just hide it better than others...
    That's a huge generalization about all men! I think most men have watched porn at some point in their life, out of curiosity or other reasons. However, some men honestly don't like it. I know DH did, but he gave it up on his own.
    I agree. H likes pinup style type "Wholesome" porn (if that is such a thing) He is grossed out by hardcore stuff and has even said how sad it is that those are people's daughters. Gotta love DH. 





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  • softservecitysoftservecity member
    DH watches it, mostly real late at night when he doesn't want to wake me up. I watch it when I know he's had a long day but I prefer erotic stories(not books mind you). The funniest thing I've come across is DH does not like when I catch him or talk about knowing he was "doing it." Apparently there were issues there in his past. Poor guy.
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  • SweetTea420SweetTea420 member
    dbautista88 said:

    SweetTea420 said:

    I know DH looks at it but I'm not a big fan of porn. I just think most of it is gross and fake. Pretty sure every man looks at porn, some just hide it better than others...

    That's a huge generalization about all men! I think most men have watched porn at some point in their life, out of curiosity or other reasons. However, some men honestly don't like it. I know DH did, but he gave it up on his own.
    I just think men are hardwired to seek out visual stimulation like that whether it be hardcore porn or a Victoria's Secret catalog. Yes, I'm sure there are some men who don't do it for various reasons but they are really a minority.

    Right before DH and I got engaged I walked in on him one night. It shocked me in a weird way and I couldn't believe how naive I was to think that he didn't look at porn! We had never discussed it and I guess it never crossed my mind. He is very secretive about his viewing and never leaves behind any evidence on his computer. Later on, he revealed to me that his father found porn on his computer when he was a teenager and wouldn't leave him alone for months. He was raised in a strict Southern Baptist family who frowns upon cursing, drinking, porn etc. So it doesn't surprise me that to this day he wants to keep that part of his life to himself. I'd rather not know what he was looking at anyways :)

    I just feel like there are so many women who truly believe their SO's don't look at porn when it's really not that hard for a guy to keep it a secret if he chooses to. And it's not that he's a bad guy for doing so, maybe he is just uncomfortable talking about it or worried about the woman's reaction.
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  • DaisyTortillaDaisyTortilla member
    SweetTea420 said:

    dbautista88 said:

    SweetTea420 said:

    I know DH looks at it but I'm not a big fan of porn. I just think most of it is gross and fake. Pretty sure every man looks at porn, some just hide it better than others...

    That's a huge generalization about all men! I think most men have watched porn at some point in their life, out of curiosity or other reasons. However, some men honestly don't like it. I know DH did, but he gave it up on his own.
    I just think men are hardwired to seek out visual stimulation like that whether it be hardcore porn or a Victoria's Secret catalog. Yes, I'm sure there are some men who don't do it for various reasons but they are really a minority.

    Right before DH and I got engaged I walked in on him one night. It shocked me in a weird way and I couldn't believe how naive I was to think that he didn't look at porn! We had never discussed it and I guess it never crossed my mind. He is very secretive about his viewing and never leaves behind any evidence on his computer. Later on, he revealed to me that his father found porn on his computer when he was a teenager and wouldn't leave him alone for months. He was raised in a strict Southern Baptist family who frowns upon cursing, drinking, porn etc. So it doesn't surprise me that to this day he wants to keep that part of his life to himself. I'd rather not know what he was looking at anyways :)

    I just feel like there are so many women who truly believe their SO's don't look at porn when it's really not that hard for a guy to keep it a secret if he chooses to. And it's not that he's a bad guy for doing so, maybe he is just uncomfortable talking about it or worried about the woman's reaction.
    Oh yeah, I get that. I know it's weird for some of them. I just don't think that all of them are made the same way. Just the way women are different so are men. I am not into huge muscular guys, it grosses me out. Most of my friends think I'm crazy for that. Just not my thing. DH used to watch it when we were first together, I didn't care. He would tell me, we are really open about those things. However, when DD was born and when he started going to church with me. He stopped. He said he read stuff in the bible and it made him feel weird. I never asked him to stop, So I believe him. All in all, I think it's more common for men to watch now a days, but I don't think they all do. :)

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  • CamrynnsMommyCamrynnsMommy member
    SweetTea420 said:

    I know DH looks at it but I'm not a big fan of porn. I just think most of it is gross and fake. Pretty sure every man looks at porn, some just hide it better than others...

    I can very confidently say my H is not a porn fan, if he watches it, he with me and it's girl on girl. He can't watch other dudes.

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  • kat8805kat8805 member
    awc1986 said:

    CMDR513 said:

    Along the same subject, thoughts on Strip Clubs? I would rather him go there than watch porn.

    So you would rather he go to a club with an actual, real life woman sticking her ass and other bits of herself in his face to please him and get more money out of him, than some Internet people doing it in a land far, far away from where he is, who have no idea who's watching?

    Yeah, I don't get the logic in that tbh.
    This. This is what I mean. While I have no issue with him going to a strip club, he's gone once and was really weirded out more than anything, you're saying an essentially fictional fantasy is worse than a real, live, in his lap, and very expensive woman.
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  • CopperPoppyCopperPoppy member
    I reall don't mind if he watches porn on his own or with me. But to be honest i don't think he's watched it in a very long time. Since we've been married I can't recall a time when he's been in the mood and I couldn't be there to help him out.

    If anything my drive has been up more than his and I might read (literotica.com) or I have looked up videos online but that's been a long time. I usually like girl action and he doesn't have a problem with that.

    The strip club thing does reall bother me. Maybe irrationally. It's not been an issue but it certainly came up for his bachelor party. He did not care but his buddies were all about it. Private stripper in a house not ok. Strip clubs on their own--meh--fine but lap dances are NOT ok. I'm sorry(notsorry) but I think my husband got pretty damn lucky with a hot wife. (Ok fine we actually both got really lucky)

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  • EmpireceoEmpireceo member
    Porn doesn't do anything for me, and DH says he's not into it, even though he knows I don't really care.  I believe him.  I do, however, have a problem with strip clubs.  I don't care if that makes me a hypocrite.  
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