Does it make me a workaholic?

pandadair · January 2014

That I'm not really looking forward to maternity leave? Don't get me wrong, I am ecstatically looking forward to meeting our baby and spending time with him, but the thought of not being able to do my job for 3 months sounds... boring? And I don't want someone else doing it. I'm sure it's my crazy FTM brain, because I know I will be exhausted and busy with the baby, but I'm not particularly looking forward to 3 months of nothing but being home and non-stop baby while my husband works and goes to class.

ykristos · January 2014

If it does, I'm right there with you. I spent a few really fun days at home with my SS last week while he was on winter break, but I was very much ready to get back to my routine and to work by the end of it. I'm not sure how that'll change (though I'm sure it will in some ways) with a brand new baby of my very own, but I have a very difficult time imagining being home for 3 months. I'm one of those people who gets a lot of validation from work, so that probably adds to it.

julesf817 · January 2014

I can't really relate, because I hate my job. the thought of leaving behind my hour long commute, and not having to be stressed about a job i hate sounds glorious.

but I don't think the way you feel makes you a workaholic at all, I think it just makes you someone lucky enough to have a job you enjoy!

Sunny528 · January 2014

I agree with everything everyone said. I've been on vacation during the holidays and was ready to get back to my routine and work. However, the recent snow storm has forced me to back at for the last day and a half. I think there are those who love their line of work or simply like to keep busy with a job. There's nothing wrong with that. If it makes you feel any better, my older sister has 2 young children. Other than her standard maternity leave and year where she was somewhat forced into having to stay at home with her kids, she has been working and staying career focused as that is just who she is. It doesn't make her any less of a mom as she has done a fantastic job with her kids who are 2 of the sweetest, brightest, and happiest kids I know. You'll be just fine.

SNOakes · January 2014

I'm jealous you have a job you love, not many people can say that. It's doesn't mean you don't want to enjoy your time with LO or that you're a workaholic, it means you're lucky to enjoy what you do. Good for you!

pandadair · January 2014

Funnily enough, I think @Sunny528 actually hit the nail on the head. I really don't love my job. I like it just fine, and I'm good at it, but it's not my life's passion or anything. I think it's the keeping my brain busy aspect. And partially fear of PPD. I got super depressed when we were first married and I had trouble finding a job, because being at home all day with just cleaning, organizing, etc. to do drove me crazy. So I guess part of my worry about leave is that I'll be with this baby all the time with no brain break and nothing to get out of the house and "accomplish", for lack of a better word. Maybe not looking forward to mat leave should have been my FFC.

dogsombrero · January 2014

I'm not the excited about taking maternity leave myself. DH and I own a business and his accounting skills suck. I'm going to have to at minimum do all the tax and payroll related items and hope he doesn't give the shop away while I'm gone.

KBowen715 · January 2014

Just wait- you won't so much be exhausted (you will be, but that won't be the primary emotion) as much as you will be completely thought-consumed by your new baby. 'Is this the best formula for her? Is the music I listen to cornering her into a certain adult life style she may not want? Is the paint on the walls really lead free? She we start Gymboree now? OMG I DIDNT REALIZE HOW RAMPANT INFECTIOUS DISEASE REALLY IS! Do other babies like her?!'

You won't even be able to think of work.

When I was pregnant with my first I did not understand how people couldn't go back to work after their baby was born. It changed your whole mindset.

Either way, not wrong no matter what your thoughts. You are who you are and that shouldn't change.

skyrockets · January 2014

I hear you. I worked hard to get what I have now and will miss being in my classroom while on mat leave. At the same time I wouldn't want to leave our baby with anyone other than my parents (who don't live near us) or my husband (who will not be able to take any paid time off). So it's me!

jjh471 · January 2014

Ditto. I teach and I'm going to miss the big end of the year events

I don't want to leave my kiddos, and I don't want to let some stranger in my class touching my stuff it's like letting a stranger in your home.

boo.

sheriot · January 2014

I feel the same way, @pandadair. I need to keep my brain busy, and am really hoping to be able to at least work from home after the first month or so. Maybe I am being unrealistic and I'll be exhausted and too wrapped up in the baby to think straight...but it's definitely a worry for me right now. Thanks for posting this. Curious to hear about ST+Ms and how/if they dealt with the same feeling.

firebelle26 · January 2014

Jules51814 said:
I can't really relate, because I hate my job. the thought of leaving behind my hour long commute, and not having to be stressed about a job i hate sounds glorious.
but I don't think the way you feel makes you a workaholic at all, I think it just makes you someone lucky enough to have a job you enjoy!

Agreed! I hate my job and the commute just kills me. It seems like every time I'm in my car commuting to/from work, I keep telling myself "4 more months, 4 more months".

But, it sounds like your job is more than just a job to you, and that's awesome! I wish I had that.

pandadair · January 2014

KBowen715 said:

Just wait- you won't so much be exhausted (you will be, but that won't be the primary emotion) as much as you will be completely thought-consumed by your new baby. 'Is this the best formula for her? Is the music I listen to cornering her into a certain adult life style she may not want? Is the paint on the walls really lead free? She we start Gymboree now? OMG I DIDNT REALIZE HOW RAMPANT INFECTIOUS DISEASE REALLY IS! Do other babies like her?!' You won't even be able to think of work. When I was pregnant with my first I did not understand how people couldn't go back to work after their baby was born. It changed your whole mindset. Either way, not wrong no matter what your thoughts. You are who you are and that shouldn't change.

I dunno... Maybe I'll eat my words as a FTM, and I don't know how to put it nicely, but... thinking about turning into the mom that spends all day every day stressing about the stuff you described sounds depressing to me. Do people actually wonder whether other babies like their baby? And what effect the music they play has down the road? I've been pretty laid back about most of the "dos/do nots" and rules that go with pregnancy, so I can't imagine suddenly being consumed with when to start gymboree and whether the paint has lead. The house was built 4 years ago. It doesn't. I'll add "gymboree" to my list of things to Google at some point when I remember, though.

Msliwinski · January 2014

No one said you had to take the whole 12 weeks! I will only be taking 8 weeks

pandadair · January 2014

Msliwinski said:

No one said you had to take the whole 12 weeks! I will only be taking 8 weeks

Very true. For some reason, I just had in my head that I didn't want to start daycare till 12. I guess I could try to work something out with my boss for those last 4, since I work from home anyway. Plus, dolla dolla bills, y'all.

KBowen715 · January 2014

pandadair said:

KBowen715 said:

Just wait- you won't so much be exhausted (you will be, but that won't be the primary emotion) as much as you will be completely thought-consumed by your new baby. 'Is this the best formula for her? Is the music I listen to cornering her into a certain adult life style she may not want? Is the paint on the walls really lead free? She we start Gymboree now? OMG I DIDNT REALIZE HOW RAMPANT INFECTIOUS DISEASE REALLY IS! Do other babies like her?!'

You won't even be able to think of work.

When I was pregnant with my first I did not understand how people couldn't go back to work after their baby was born. It changed your whole mindset.

Either way, not wrong no matter what your thoughts. You are who you are and that shouldn't change.

I dunno... Maybe I'll eat my words as a FTM, and I don't know how to put it nicely, but... thinking about turning into the mom that spends all day every day stressing about the stuff you described sounds depressing to me. Do people actually wonder whether other babies like their baby? And what effect the music they play has down the road? I've been pretty laid back about most of the "dos/do nots" and rules that go with pregnancy, so I can't imagine suddenly being consumed with when to start gymboree and whether the paint has lead. The house was built 4 years ago. It doesn't. I'll add "gymboree" to my list of things to Google at some point when I remember, though.

I over exaggerate with moot points, but at the same time I'm not. I'm a really laid back whatever-goes type of Mom, but you still become consumed with the enormity of raising not just a baby, but a human soul who become their own people. I'm definitely not trying to point out unnecessary stress- it is just one of those things that happen. It is why Hollywood makes movies about it.

sweetky_06 · January 2014

Everyone definitely has their own feelings about going back to work! During maternity leave, I loved getting out, running errands with DS, going for walks, etc.

However - those first 4-6 weeks are generally a blur so you're looking at 6-8 weeks of "what do I do?" Admittedly - some days by 11 I would be like "what's next?" While I really enjoy my job, I never once during maternity leave considered filling my boredom time with checking email or doing work!

MissLadyTay · January 2014

I'm looking forward to maternity leave but only because I know I'll return to work when it's over. I'm excited to get away from the stress of my job for awhile but I'm also looking forward to getting back into it and continuing to push forward in my career.

pandadair · January 2014

MissLadyTay said:

I'm looking forward to maternity leave but only because I know I'll return to work when it's over. I'm excited to get away from the stress of my job for awhile but I'm also looking forward to getting back into it and continuing to push forward in my career.

Word. I just shudder at the thought of 3 months' worth of emails. Oh. My. God. I can't read them as I go w/o responding and working, though.

rainydayluck · January 2014

I was so damn bored on maternity leave. I kept reading posts about people crying just thinking about leaving their baby to go back to work and I felt excitement (ETA: excitement about going back, not excitement that people were crying). I mentioned it to my OB and she said, "I loved coming back to work. Some people are the better moms when they are working". I took the whole time because I wanted DD to be as old as she could before going to daycare. This time I just keep thinking about the things I need and want to do that will come up at work while I am off, lol.

LLolaBean · January 2014

In my opinion, the newborn phase sucks and I wasn't a fan of maternity leave. I didn't have any of the thoughts someone stated previously about wondering about Gymboree classes and lead paint, and all things baby etc. I did get a little down in the dumps after a while. But, my kid was born in December on the east coast, so the freezing gray days probably didn't help. I'm glad the weather will be better in May. I learned that, at least for me, I had to get out with the baby and do things, see friends. I missed the intellectual stimulation I normally received from work. While I loved spending time with my LO, I was also very glad to go back to work. That being said, currently my son is 12 months old and I love this stage. Now is when I'd love to work less and spend more time at home.

MrsT2008 · January 2014

I won't lie, I loved being on maternity leave. I am depended on a lot for my job and it gave them the push to get others involved...hoping for the same result this time around plus, being off most of the summer sounds amazing (last time, it was Dec/Jan/Feb).

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