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December 2013 Moms
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Why do people ask?

lba0614lba0614 member
in December 2013 Moms
Seriously...why do people feel the need to ask if I am BFing? Considering the fact that my LO had trouble latching at first and we had to supplement right away...now I am lucky if between trying to BF and pumping if LO gets even a third of what he eats as BM.

Anytime someone asks i feel the need to explain myself as to why im not fully EBF and it makes me feel awkward and kind of guilty.

On top of the people who just ask, my mom has gotten into the habit of making me feel guilty that im not trying harder with BFing. At first i think she was just trying to encourage me bc she knew i felt like crap about it, but now that me and DH have kind of found that what we are doing is ok with us, i wish she would just let me do my thing and keep comments to herself.

Ugh. Anyway, i know there are a lot of us who need support for our decisions...and i guess its just my time to ask for some. Thanks in advance :)
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Re: Why do people ask?

  • lba0614lba0614 member
    Yeah i totally dont understand why these people care! Last night it was one of my previous coworkers who i havent even seen since September...it kind of caught me off guard.
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  • n8swifen8swife member
    I have wondered this too. I got asked more last time because I think people just assume I'm BFing again this time. It seems like a really personal question to ask someone.
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  • MissyC979MissyC979 member
    Yes, I wish people would just stop. I hate feeling like I need to explain myself, even when if is no ones business.
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  • margaerytyrellmargaerytyrell member
    It's so weird. DH'a Aunt asked me during Christmas and I felt like she would totally judge me if I said anything other than breastfeeding. And it's not anybod's business.
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  • BoothBabyBoothBaby member
    I concur, people are freaking nosey. Don't let them make you feel bad about your decision. You have to do what's best for you!
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  • mavgirl_73mavgirl_73 member
    People are nosey. It'll be the first of many rounds of questioning why you do certain things and why you don't do others. It's just how people are.

     

     

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  • MamaGrilloMamaGrillo member
    It's what take the place of belly touching. You know... A really personal thing that in any other situation would (border on) sexual harassment.
    Next up is "is she/he a 'good' baby'?"
    Translate: do they STTN. My response has been 'oh she's awesome, we're not getting much sleep, but she's a good baby'.
    Because not sleeping means a bad baby?
    Sorry... Thread jacking. :(
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  • MissyC979MissyC979 member
    MamaGrillo said:
    It's what take the place of belly touching. You know... A really personal thing that in any other situation would (border on) sexual harassment. Next up is "is she/he a 'good' baby'?" Translate: do they STTN. My response has been 'oh she's awesome, we're not getting much sleep, but she's a good baby'. Because not sleeping means a bad baby? Sorry... Thread jacking. :(
    I get that too. I always say, "He's a great baby, but even a great baby is still a baby..."
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  • lba0614lba0614 member
    Oh yeah we have really had the pressure on us from DHs grandparents especially to have a good baby bc both of SILs kids STTN at ridiculously young ages, like a week old, and hardly ever cry. Ive had to restrain myself from TPing little old people a few times now
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  • jaykay627jaykay627 member
    edited January 2014
    MamaGrillo said:

    It's what take the place of belly touching. You know... A really personal thing that in any other situation would (border on) sexual harassment.
    Next up is "is she/he a 'good' baby'?"
    Translate: do they STTN. My response has been 'oh she's awesome, we're not getting much sleep, but she's a good baby'.
    Because not sleeping means a bad baby?
    Sorry... Thread jacking. :(

    Exactly! I obviously have a bad baby- she should totally know better than to need to eat or be held during the night.

    Eta: I did have one instance where I thought it was acceptable for someone to ask if I was BF. The week we came home we had several people from our church bring us meals and one lady asked because she didn't want to make it too spicy if it might irritate LO's tummy. I thought that was very thoughtful. But otherwise, just no.

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  • cammyisagirlsnamecammyisagirlsname member
    People that love breasfeeding are the ones that ask. I feel like they're also the same people who shun you if you say no.
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  • tattooedtragedytattooedtragedy member
    Ugh this question! When I get the are your nursing or using formula I just say 'Yes' since I'm nursing and supplementing with formula.

    I also love the random people asking if I delivered 'naturally' or if I had a CS. I always want to say something snarky. Seriously I had a beautiful little girl it doesn't really matter how she exited my body.

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