Can I just vent a little?

mommatotwo2 · January 2014

So, I have this friend. She has twins, about a month and a half older than my LO.

She never.stops.bragging about them. It's getting old. She claims they are so happy, always in such great moods and "advanced". She always talks about how much bigger they are than my DD too- and makes sure to point out to me a hundred times a week that it's because her children are formula fed and therefore bigger, which in her mind translates to healthier. She has told me at least a dozen times in the past 2 days that she is so amazed by her amazing babies, at how active they are, and how they have been crawling for a month and are now walking, with assistance of walkers, etc.

She also happens to be a SAHM, while I am a WM, and she gets her little digs in about that too.

I'm happy for her that her kids are happy and healthy, but it stresses me out and makes me feel bad...and I'm not even really sure why. I just feel like she's trying to make it a competition for who's kid is better and I hate it.

Thanks for listening.

CNJ4EVA · January 2014

Here's something for her ass.

c-elizabethf · January 2014

CNJ4EVA said:

Here's something for her ass.

Kissimi21 · January 2014

Women like that are usually really insecure and need to brag to make themselves feel better. As a twin mom, I can tell you that the guilt is a bitch. She probably wants people to think she's got it all under control when deep down she is even more stressed and insecure about her parenting than you can imagine.

mommatotwo2 · January 2014

Hahaha, thanks guys. @Kissimi21- I do give her extra credit for the whole twins thing...but only a little bit. I've got 2 kids too and no, they aren't the same age and I didn't have to deal with 2 newborns at once but I do have a baby and a very energetic and busy kindergartener, so my life's no cake walk and my time is stretched to the max, so I'm no stranger to the guilt

I'm in no way complaining, I just want her to STFU.

edited because I can't spell

JoJo716 · January 2014

I can totally relate, especially on the SAHM part. My friend is always telling me how she doesn't know how I can possibly leave ds to work. She could never leave her son, she has only left him x amount of hours in his life, she is so glad her husband makes so much money, blah, blah blah. I try not to let it get to me but sometimes it stings and I only work part time! Basically, I have had to take a step back and look at our friendship. I realized I can't continue to be good friends with somebody who makes me feel bad about my life or my parenting.

mommatotwo2 · January 2014

JoJo716 said:

I can totally relate, especially on the SAHM part. My friend is always telling me how she doesn't know how I can possibly leave ds to work. She could never leave her son, she has only left him x amount of hours in his life, she is so glad her husband makes so much money, blah, blah blah. I try not to let it get to me but sometimes it stings and I only work part time! Basically, I have had to take a step back and look at our friendship. I realized I can't continue to be good friends with somebody who makes me feel bad about my life or my parenting.

Ugh, I'm sorry you are dealing with it too

I'd like to tell her to take a hike, but she and her husband are our daughter's Godparents.

Shoegal36 · January 2014

Totally sounds like insecurity to me!

flyliceandcoffee · January 2014

you should tell her to shove it.

and for the record, formula feeding has jack shit to do with how "big" a kiddo is...at this point S is 90% FF and uh, she's only 13-ish lbs...

watuzzigal · January 2014

(He can say that because medals were invented FOR him.)

coffeeandbooks · January 2014

I think she is probably insecure about formula feeding. I think there is a lot out there that makes moms feel like their babies are going to be developmentally behind and unhealthy because they FF...and she just wants to reassure herself that her kids are doing fine. As for the SAHM digs...she is probably insecure about that too.
I know it is annoying but moms are made to feel like a^& about so many of their lifestyle choices that it really gets to some women and then they feel the need to prove something.

coffeeandbooks · January 2014

^^ lol...yes there is always that.

Blueyed228 · January 2014

Sounds like insecurity.

MrsR11 · January 2014

scormier123 said:

Totally sounds like insecurity to me!

This! But I know it is hard to keep that in mind when someone is going on and on about how advanced and amazing their wonder-child is.I am in the same boat with a friend, and am seriously wondering if the friendship is worth how they make me feel as a mother. Good luck!

TheyCalledHerKate · January 2014

She is doing this to validate her choices (formula feeding, staying home, etc).

fancefpp · January 2014

She sounds like a bitch. Even if she's insecure, the person usually knows where it is coming from and can control it to avoid hurting friend. You don't say that stuff to friends. Strangers, maybe

mommatotwo2 · January 2014

Thanks gals- good luck to those of you dealing with it too. To those that said it's insecurity- you're right I'm sure, however, we're all insecure about something! IMO it's a crummy excuse to be a jerk, you know?

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