Just watched The business of Being Born...

JAM85 · January 2014

And now thoroughly depressed about having no choice in having to deliver at a hospital and likely be induced. I have lupus so at 39 weeks they will start to want to induce me due to increased stullbirth risk (and I have a 3 day leeway because I ovulated earlier so my actual due date is earlier than what they have) now my MFM has said they will let me go longer if I consent to daily ultrasounds to monitor baby (which I will) but I have all these wishes for a natural birth, as med free as possible, and being able to move around and now I feel like that may be impossible. I am now more convinced I should get a doula for my situation- anyone else have been or might be in a similar situation? I just want to feel empowered in my birth, even if something happens at least I want to know I didn't get swindled into unnecessary medical intervention.

mrsbtobe20122 · January 2014

That "documentary" is fear mongering in my opinion.

Educate yourself on your options. Get a doula if you want. Get one who has medical background and will not just tell you what you want to hear.

The medical/hospital community is not out to get birthing mamas.

IBackBevo · January 2014

No advice, but I am thinking of getting a doula...mainly because I felt like I got bullied at one point in my experience with DS1 (pre-e, IUGR, in and out of the hospital multiple times, etc.) by an on-call doctor and I was too distraught to truly stand up for myself (like I normally would) and DH didn't support me at all. And I am normally NOT a person who is easily steam rolled, but this doc literally threatened to discharge me AMA when my baby was having heart rate decels. It was BS. I should have filed a complaint with the medical board against him because he patently misrepresented my rights to me and his ability to "kick me out of the hospital." In hindsight, I should have said, "Listen you dickhead. I am an attorney and my DH is a doctor, too, just like you and I know what you are saying isn't correct. So if you would care to rephrase your statements, then we can talk. But so long as you are misrepresenting my legal rights to me and making threats you have no capability of carrying out, why don't you send in another doctor while I work on filling out my medical board complaint against you." But, I was crying, scared to death and a nervous wreck and so I just gave in. I never though I would be someone to give in to something I knew was wrong, but when it comes to the health of your baby, things can get really scary.

As an aside, don't let that documentary scare you, though. I feel like it made being induced and having a c-section seem like the worst possible evil. Most people I know who have had inductions have had success. Both of the ladies in my office were induced early (37-38 weeks) and had successful vaginal births. And even if you have to have a c-section, it is not the end of the world! I had to have a C-section with DS1. Mine was warranted and my bad experience mentioned above actually had nothing to do with the c-section or epidural. In fact, there are times that I seriously contemplate having a RCS instead of a vbac. My one and only reason for wanting a vbac is just because I know a recovery from a c-section is usually harder and this time I will have 2U2.

JAM85 · January 2014

I definitely don't think that all hospitals and docs are out the get moms, but from anecdotal evidence it seems like once one intervention is started (say the pit) then it is that much more likely more will follow. I definitely want a doula who can not only advocate for me but interprete the doctors/nurses for me and if there needs to be additional interventions then she can communicate that. It's just important to me that I not feel pushed into doing something against my wishes if it isn't strictly medically necessary.

mrsbtobe20122 · January 2014

JAM85 said:

I definitely don't think that all hospitals and docs are out the get moms, but from anecdotal evidence it seems like once one intervention is started (say the pit) then it is that much more likely more will follow. I definitely want a doula who can not only advocate for me but interprete the doctors/nurses for me and if there needs to be additional interventions then she can communicate that. It's just important to me that I not feel pushed into doing something against my wishes if it isn't strictly medically necessary.

No on can deny that rip roaring spontaneous labor is the best.

Empireceo · January 2014

I definitely don't think the medical community is out to get birthing mothers. However, they are trained to view birth the same way they view any medical problem. But it's not appendicitis, it's normal and natural and healthy (most of the time!)

rainydayluck · January 2014

Empireceo said:

I definitely don't think the medical community is out to get birthing mothers. However, they are trained to view birth the same way they view any medical problem. But it's not appendicitis, it's normal and natural and healthy (most of the time!)

But when it is not, people don't need propaganda like BOBB to make them feel "depressed". DD would have certainly died before modern medical science and I may have as well.

mrsbtobe20122 · January 2014

Kimbus22 said:

I had to be induced. It took 3 days. I went totally med free for the first 2. But I had a vaginal delivery and my epidural wore off before the 3 hours of pushing started.

In my experience, just talk to the nurses. They are not out to get you. They did not do ANYTHING to me without talking to me first and without explaining why and getting my okay.

The simple fact is we want to be able to control our labor and delivery and we just can't. You can't if you have a c-section, if you have a vaginal delivery in a hospital or if you squat the baby out in a field by yourself. The baby is in charge and things change on a dime with no warning. Educate yourself, advocate for yourself and be ready to go with the flow!

Thank you!!! As a labor nurse it irritates the shit out of me when people take 'documentaries' that villainize either side of the home birth vs hospital birth situation. We can't do anything without consent--that is called assault.

I don't care if you want to scream your brains out for 12 hours, meditate your fetus out, or be numb to your nipples as soon as you're 1cm....I just want a healthy baby and mom and the closest to ideal birth experience for my patients as possible.

Sometimes it's just not possible.

mrsbtobe20122 · January 2014

Empireceo said:

I definitely don't think the medical community is out to get birthing mothers. However, they are trained to view birth the same way they view any medical problem. But it's not appendicitis, it's normal and natural and healthy (most of the time!)

Um no.

sthomas1222 · January 2014

savannah_girl said:

Empireceo said:

I definitely don't think the medical community is out to get birthing mothers. However, they are trained to view birth the same way they view any medical problem. But it's not appendicitis, it's normal and natural and healthy (most of the time!)

Um no.

yeah, I treated them like pregnant women in labor. my goal was to promote a safe, enjoyable and healthy delivery.

OBs, especially MFM/high risk OBs, do view it as a medial condition. You may have medical conditions that effect L&D, but the actual L&D can and should be natural, normal, and healthy until it's not. I have a constant battle in my mind of RN school and doula training. I love that all the technology is available for when L&D or prenatal or PP turns not normal. But until it's not it needs to be left alone.

Yes, once pit is started more interventions follow. Automatically you get continuous monitoring b/c it can cause too frequent contractions causing fetal distress. If you're at a hospital that doesn't have wireless monitors this severely limits your movement. So, usually moms will opt for an epidural (though not always) due to positioning challenges and the fact that pit fucking hurts.

OP a doula would be a great place to start. Interview a few, find one that fits, one that understands high risk patients. There are great doulas and then there are some that are anti-everything. Just like there are great OBs and ones that view pregnancy and delivery as medical conditions that need constant monitoring and interference. A good doula can find you a good OB or support you and your partner through a not so supportive environment or an indifferent environment.

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