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Happy new year to me!

tachetache member
in Secondary IF
AF showed up today. I told DH I'm especially upset because I had 3 follicles this time and if his guys can't hit one out of 3 how is it ever going to happen.

I know the first day is always the hardest but I'm devastated. I know we all feel this way every month but I just needed to vent quickly. DH doesn't have the patience to listen to me be sad like he used to. He's heard it every month for so long that he's sick of it so I feel pretty alone. That's why I love you all. Even though I don't post much I check in at least 2 times a day and feel better someone else understands my pain.

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Re: Happy new year to me!

  • freakyfastfreakyfast member
    (((HUGS))) I am so sorry @tache.  



      


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  • pettycrockerpettycrocker member
    edited December 2013
    I know exactly how you are feeling! We had 4 follies (3/1) for my IUI and H had an amazing sample (the Dr was giving him high 5's and shit) and I swear I said the same exact thing! 

    "If 1 out of 80 million- (EIGHTY FUCKING MILLION?!?!) can't hit 1 of FOUR fucking eggs, then I'd say we have a serious effing problem" 

    Now looking back, I would love to be that ignorant again- because going through a failed IVF cycle, where literally all the fucking babies have to do is stick there, was a whole new level of what the fuck is this shit?! 


    IF is such a mind fuck, I really don't know how any of us cope with this shit. Hugs! Leave this IUI in 2013, and let's all hope 2014 brings better luck to us all. 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • CheesyPeasCheesyPeas member
    I'm so sorry.  ((Hugs))
    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

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  • Mrs.LD813Mrs.LD813 member
    I'm sorry! Hugs!

    Married 12.9.06

    DD born 1.6.11

    TTC #2 since 7.12

    image
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  • TLooney17TLooney17 member
    So sorry! It doesn't make any sense and it sucks!

    imageimage

    TTC #1 January 2009
    January 2010 SA results: Count 16 million, Motility 40%, Morphology 2%
    January 2010- Surprise BFP! DS born 10/1/2010 :)
    January 2013 TTC #2
    September 2013 Repeat SA: Count= 1.7 million, Motility= 24%, Morphology= 2%
    November 6th 1st Appointment with RE: diagnosed with severe MFI
    Testing to try to determine a cause & possible treatment for MFI
    CD 3 blood work for me. RE does not want to repeat my HSG/lap at this point,
    but may want to before moving forward with any fertility treatments.
    After seeing the uro, DH is currently taking lots of supplements and clomid to try to boost his count. We will have a repeat SA in February to see if it works.
    Follow up SA numbers are: Count= 4 million, Motility= 40%, Morphology= 1%
    Uro wants us to have another follow up SA 5/9 to see if we see further improvement than we are back to the RE to make a game plan.

    SA 5/9/2014 Count: 12 Million, Motility: 60%, and Morphology 2%. We will be doing iui #1 in late June

    IUI #1 6/28 clomid + ovidrel, post wash count 3 million total sperm= BFN

    IUI # 2 7/21 clomid+ ovidrel. post wash count 900,000 total sperm= BFN

    IVF planned for early November- cancelled due to cyst

    December IVF #1- 22 eggs, 20 mature,16 fertilized

    12/9 Transferred 1 4AA Blast, 6 frosties


    *****Everyone is welcome******

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  • tuscanbride2007tuscanbride2007 member
    I'm so sorry. ((HUGS))

    BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08
    BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    TTC #3 since May 2012

    BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
    BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
    BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14

    No longer trying to conceive.

    image    http://oi40.tinypic.com/15czrid.jpg     image

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  • tachetache member
    Thanks everyone! I feel stupid posting these because I know everyone feels this way and I don't need to remind you it sucks. Now I'm just debating if we take a break or not this month. We leave to go out of town this weekend and I had a terrible reaction to clomid last month so I don't want to feel bad on vacation. But CD1 I'm always desperate and will do anything to have a baby so right now I'm leaning towards doing it. Although DH probably won't be happy.
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  • CeCe8579CeCe8579 member
    Big Hugs! 
    Carly
    (Former UN: iloveshanej)

    Birdie born 05/01/2007
    Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017                                          


    Potato Launcher


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  • pettycrockerpettycrocker member
    tache said:
    Thanks everyone! I feel stupid posting these because I know everyone feels this way and I don't need to remind you it sucks. Now I'm just debating if we take a break or not this month. We leave to go out of town this weekend and I had a terrible reaction to clomid last month so I don't want to feel bad on vacation. But CD1 I'm always desperate and will do anything to have a baby so right now I'm leaning towards doing it. Although DH probably won't be happy.
    Don't feel stupid! That is the best part of the board, we all can relate to each other, and we all need an outlet because this shit is so overwhelming. Definitely take some time and think things through. Sometimes you really just *need* a break, some time to breath, you know? 

    Hugs! 


    Spontaneous pregnancy #1
    DD1 July 31, 2011

    Trying for #2 since Oct 11
    732973 Clomid Cycles
    2 IUIs 
    3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX
    Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
    Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
    Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
    Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!! 



    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • Momarazzi007Momarazzi007 member
    Hopefully the year can only get better. For all of us! Hugs!
    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!     February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!
    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
    FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
    BABY BOY VINCENT!
    image

    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:image    imageimage Potato Love!

    BabyFruit Ticker


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  • LindsayF24LindsayF24 member
    So so sorry :( Here's to a better 2014 for all of us!
    BFP: 5/10/14 after 14 cycles of trying!
    EDD: 1/21/15
    5/12 1st beta: 28
    5/14 2nd beta: 87.5
    5/23: 3rd beta: 4000.6 + saw gestational sac and yolk sac
    5/30: 4th beta: 17,852 + saw fetal pole and heard heartbeat! 127 BPM!
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  • jb2rnjb2rn member
    I am sorry :(

    We all get it!
    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

    image

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