AF showed up today. I told DH I'm especially upset because I had 3 follicles this time and if his guys can't hit one out of 3 how is it ever going to happen.
I know the first day is always the hardest but I'm devastated. I know we all feel this way every month but I just needed to vent quickly. DH doesn't have the patience to listen to me be sad like he used to. He's heard it every month for so long that he's sick of it so I feel pretty alone. That's why I love you all. Even though I don't post much I check in at least 2 times a day and feel better someone else understands my pain.
I know exactly how you are feeling! We had 4 follies (3/1) for my IUI and H had an amazing sample (the Dr was giving him high 5's and shit) and I swear I said the same exact thing!
"If 1 out of 80 million- (EIGHTY FUCKING MILLION?!?!) can't hit 1 of FOUR fucking eggs, then I'd say we have a serious effing problem"
Now looking back, I would love to be that ignorant again- because going through a failed IVF cycle, where literally all the fucking babies have to do is stick there, was a whole new level of what the fuck is this shit?!
IF is such a mind fuck, I really don't know how any of us cope with this shit. Hugs! Leave this IUI in 2013, and let's all hope 2014 brings better luck to us all.
Spontaneous pregnancy #1 DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
732973 Clomid Cycles
2 IUIs
3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016 Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3 Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!
TTC #1 January 2009 January 2010 SA results: Count 16 million, Motility 40%, Morphology 2% January 2010- Surprise BFP! DS born 10/1/2010 January 2013 TTC #2 September 2013 Repeat SA: Count= 1.7 million, Motility= 24%, Morphology= 2% November 6th 1st Appointment with RE: diagnosed with severe MFI Testing to try to determine a cause & possible treatment for MFI CD 3 blood work for me. RE does not want to repeat my HSG/lap at this point, but may want to before moving forward with any fertility treatments. After seeing the uro, DH is currently taking lots of supplements and clomid to try to boost his count. We will have a repeat SA in February to see if it works. Follow up SA numbers are: Count= 4 million, Motility= 40%, Morphology= 1% Uro wants us to have another follow up SA 5/9 to see if we see further improvement than we are back to the RE to make a game plan.
SA 5/9/2014 Count: 12 Million, Motility: 60%, and Morphology 2%. We will be doing iui #1 in late June
IUI #1 6/28 clomid + ovidrel, post wash count 3 million total sperm= BFN
IUI # 2 7/21 clomid+ ovidrel. post wash count 900,000 total sperm= BFN
IVF planned for early November- cancelled due to cyst
Thanks everyone! I feel stupid posting these because I know everyone feels this way and I don't need to remind you it sucks. Now I'm just debating if we take a break or not this month. We leave to go out of town this weekend and I had a terrible reaction to clomid last month so I don't want to feel bad on vacation. But CD1 I'm always desperate and will do anything to have a baby so right now I'm leaning towards doing it. Although DH probably won't be happy.
Thanks everyone! I feel stupid posting these because I know everyone feels this way and I don't need to remind you it sucks. Now I'm just debating if we take a break or not this month. We leave to go out of town this weekend and I had a terrible reaction to clomid last month so I don't want to feel bad on vacation. But CD1 I'm always desperate and will do anything to have a baby so right now I'm leaning towards doing it. Although DH probably won't be happy.
Don't feel stupid! That is the best part of the board, we all can relate to each other, and we all need an outlet because this shit is so overwhelming. Definitely take some time and think things through. Sometimes you really just *need* a break, some time to breath, you know?
Hugs!
Spontaneous pregnancy #1 DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
732973 Clomid Cycles
2 IUIs
3 Fresh IVFs= 1 Ectopic treated with MTX Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016 Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3 Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!
Hopefully the year can only get better. For all of us! Hugs!
January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this! June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS.
November 2010- FAILED FET! BS! January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS! February 2011- lost twin. BS.
SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world! November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs) April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs. FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP BABY BOY VINCENT!
We can't wait to meet you! Conception: Potato Love!
Re: Happy new year to me!
Spontaneous pregnancy #1
DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!
October 2011 - DS (7)
July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)
August 2015 - DD (3)
April 2018 - 5 week loss
Married 12.9.06
DD born 1.6.11
TTC #2 since 7.12
TTC #1 January 2009
January 2010 SA results: Count 16 million, Motility 40%, Morphology 2%
January 2010- Surprise BFP! DS born 10/1/2010
January 2013 TTC #2
September 2013 Repeat SA: Count= 1.7 million, Motility= 24%, Morphology= 2%
November 6th 1st Appointment with RE: diagnosed with severe MFI
Testing to try to determine a cause & possible treatment for MFI
CD 3 blood work for me. RE does not want to repeat my HSG/lap at this point,
but may want to before moving forward with any fertility treatments.
After seeing the uro, DH is currently taking lots of supplements and clomid to try to boost his count. We will have a repeat SA in February to see if it works.
Follow up SA numbers are: Count= 4 million, Motility= 40%, Morphology= 1%
Uro wants us to have another follow up SA 5/9 to see if we see further improvement than we are back to the RE to make a game plan.
SA 5/9/2014 Count: 12 Million, Motility: 60%, and Morphology 2%. We will be doing iui #1 in late June
IUI #1 6/28 clomid + ovidrel, post wash count 3 million total sperm= BFN
IUI # 2 7/21 clomid+ ovidrel. post wash count 900,000 total sperm= BFN
IVF planned for early November- cancelled due to cyst
December IVF #1- 22 eggs, 20 mature,16 fertilized
12/9 Transferred 1 4AA Blast, 6 frosties
*****Everyone is welcome******
BFP #1 12.24.07 - DD born @ 39w1d on 08.26.08

BFP #2 08.04.11 - DD born still @ 37w3d on 03.25.12
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TTC #3 since May 2012
BFP #3 12.29.12 - CP @ 4w2d on 01.02.13
BFP #4 10.17.13 - CP @ 4w2d on 10.23.13
BFP #5 04.06.14 - MMC 05.07.14
No longer trying to conceive.
Rainbow Surprise Baby due 05/26/2017
Spontaneous pregnancy #1
DD1 July 31, 2011
Trying for #2 since Oct 11
Spontaneous pregnancy #2= Ectopic #2= lost left tube
Spontaneous pregnancy #3= DD2 January 29, 2016
Spontaneous pregnancy #4= Ectopic #3
Spontaneous pregnancy #5= Baby #3 is a BOY!!!
June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS.
November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS! February 2011- lost twin. BS.
SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!
November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.
FROZEN CYCLE JUNE! BFP
BABY BOY VINCENT!
We can't wait to meet you!
Conception:
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d