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need to get a few things off my chest....rant

mayhem4musicmayhem4music member
in May 2014 Moms
My husband and I might be in in a large predicament, if we can't get the one car fixed then we have to get a new one.  We asked my grandma to see if she would be able to sign for a car if it got to that point.  She was honest and said that she wasn't able to any why.  I'm not upset with that, I get it.  what I'm upset with is that my parents are the reason why I can't get help when I need it.  to top it off, in the last few years I have given them close to 10k, and they didn't pay a dime on anything for my wedding.  my mom has her own car, but she won't use it.  she took the keys to my grandfathers car and has made it hers.  here I'm the one that is working full time in a retail store, running my own business on the side, and pregnant and the car that the rest of the family knows is mine, considering I am the one that pays for all the matinance work on it until a few months ago, dose not have a car period.  Lucky my father is aware of the situation and is letting me take my moms car for an extended period of time so I have a way to get too and from work.  That will be after my husband and I put money in to new parts and praying that we can make this thing comes back from the dead. 
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Re: need to get a few things off my chest....rant

  • ABColeslawABColeslaw member
    yeah I didn't really follow this post either.  Either way, I agree time to set boundaries.
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  • RedInLoveRedInLove member
    mayhem4music said:
    My husband and I might be in in a large predicament, if we can't get the one car fixed then we have to get a new one.  We asked my grandma to see if she would be able to sign for a car if it got to that point.  She was honest and said that she wasn't able to any why.  I'm not upset with that, I get it.  what I'm upset with is that my parents are the reason why I can't get help when I need it.  to top it off, in the last few years I have given them close to 10k, and they didn't pay a dime on anything for my wedding.  my mom has her own car, but she won't use it.  she took the keys to my grandfathers car and has made it hers.  here I'm the one that is working full time in a retail store, running my own business on the side, and pregnant and the car that the rest of the family knows is mine, considering I am the one that pays for all the matinance work on it until a few months ago, dose not have a car period.  Lucky my father is aware of the situation and is letting me take my moms car for an extended period of time so I have a way to get too and from work.  That will be after my husband and I put money in to new parts and praying that we can make this thing comes back from the dead. 
    I'm also not too sure what's going on here. But I will say that if you haven't stopped giving your parents money or if they ask for more, don't give them any.




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  • softservecitysoftservecity member
    My mother told me a long time ago she'd give me $500 only to help with wedding expenses and then when it came down to it didn't give me a dime. No biggy, no blame... we paid for it ourselves and it was a great day! She has helped me in other ways through the years though that are much more needed and appreciated. I agree with others, time to set those boundaries. It's hard and will be a work in progress for awhile but it will be worth it for your sanity.
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  • mayhem4musicmayhem4music member

    if I didn't have to pay for there attire for the wedding I would have cared.  the money they got from me was from when my car got totaled, the car was in his name.  the other time when my husband and I originally got married my husband didn't want all of the money my one aunt was going to give us.  my dad got half and we got the other half.  I'm just pissed for the fact that I'm 26 and I'm more of an adult then my parents. 

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  • CaliValCaliVal member
    Capital letters. They are your friends.
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  • MamaLlama14MamaLlama14 member
    mayhem4music said:

    if I didn't have to pay for there attire for the wedding I would have cared.  the money they got from me was from when my car got totaled, the car was in his name.  the other time when my husband and I originally got married my husband didn't want all of the money my one aunt was going to give us.  my dad got half and we got the other half.  I'm just pissed for the fact that I'm 26 and I'm more of an adult then my parents. 

    It doesn't actually sound like YOU gave them any money.  It sounds like they came into money that you had assumed was yours- from insurance and from an aunt.  I'm not saying they're not irresponsible with money- they very well could be, and I know that problem well with my parents.  I'm saying, though, that it's a very different thing to actually take YOUR money from your pocket or bank account- especially the amount you're saying- versus just counting on getting something that instead went to them.  Don't count your chickens until they hatch.
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  • AnnieA75AnnieA75 member
    Sounds like a confusing situation and this is a little hard to follow. If you lent your family money, let them know you and DH are now in a bind and get agreement from them as to a plan for when they will pay you back. However, it sounds more like you gave your family money (rather than loaning it to them) and now you regret it because you're in a tough financial position. If that's the case, there's not much you can do now except to stop giving them any more money in the future and focus on your own well being.
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  • ErikaLynn75ErikaLynn75 member
    mayhem4music said:

    if I didn't have to pay for there attire for the wedding I would have cared.  the money they got from me was from when my car got totaled, the car was in his name.  the other time when my husband and I originally got married my husband didn't want all of the money my one aunt was going to give us.  my dad got half and we got the other half.  I'm just pissed for the fact that I'm 26 and I'm more of an adult then my parents. 


    None of this makes much sense. I can't imagine a situation where the reason you can't get a car is someone else's fault. My advice is to get your own car and separate your finances from your parents' completely. And stop giving money away if you can't afford to even get yourself a car without someone else signing on it.
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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    I'm sorry you are in a sticky situation however the best bet is for you to have a car in your name. I am a bit confused by the car being in someone elses name. If you can make the payments you should purchase a vehicle in yours or DH name/s then insurance money will go to you if the car gets totalled. Right now it just sounds like you are complaining that no one can bail you out and thats not being an adult either. Adults sort themselves out.
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  • TkhixenTkhixen member
    edited January 2014
    Why can't you go get a car? My DH was what they considered a "ghost" because he had always paid cash for everything, and even he was able to get a car loan. My cousin has horrible credit and she got a loan. Go bring your clunker to a dealer, see what you can get. However, it doesn't sound like you have given your parents any money. And, there seems to be more to the story then you are letting on. If your aut was giving you money, why wouldn't your DH take it? That's just weird!
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  • IBackBevoIBackBevo member
    I'm confused.
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  • RenonUthZhakrinRenonUthZhakrin member
    Yeah something smells fishy here... it's hard to understand what exactly is being expressed but it sounds a little 'overly entitled' syndrome right now. Perhaps you could try again and be a bit more clear on what exactly is going on?
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  • talkthewholetimetalkthewholetime member
    At 26, your finances should be your finances, not tangled in with everyone else. Especially if you're married.

    Are you 19?
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  • pistolpackinmommapistolpackinmomma member
    I don't understand any of this. 1.) Why did your dad getting the insurance money prevent you from getting a car? Why was it in their name to start? 2.) Why did your H "not want" all of the money from your aunt? This makes zero sense. 3.) How is expecting someone to either give you scar or sign for one for you being an adult?

    I agree with the others. It's time you make your finances yours and not have them tangled up with the rest of the family.

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  • 83edwards83edwards member
    This all sounds suspect, OP. I'm sorry you are in a sticky situation right now, and I hope you get your car fixed. That said, your follow up post just made the situation more difficult to follow.

    This kind of talk all makes you sound kind of petulant if you ask me!
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