Mother-in-law chose an unacceptable nick name for our son.

Wendygibson11 · December 2013

I am at a loss. My spouse and I have decided upon a name for our son, Callum Dallas, and my mother-in-law has decided she wants to call him Cal or Cal Dal. First off the name is a mouth full, but the middle name comes from my deceased father-in-law. Neways... I can't stand the name, Cal or better yet, Cal Dal. I have expressed my opinion and my mother-in-law and brother-in-law still feel as though it is OK to call him Cal or Cal Dal. I explained his name is Callum and if he chooses to go by another name later, it is his choice. However, until then, it is Callum. My spouse is aware of my feelings and feels it is not an issue. However, I do. What to do?

typeset · December 2013

My father did this. My son's initials are TC and so he started called him Tom Cat. It took an emphatic "this will not fly" discussion and some follow through. Now the kid corrects those who try to call him anything other than his full name. The power of an overly literal mind:

"You're so silly."
"No, I'm ____."

Good luck.

ykristos · December 2013

Of course it's your right to name your child and subsequently inform others of what his name is/your intent... but ultimately, you can't and won't be able to control what others call him. I wouldn't be surprised if many people call your son "Cal" with the name Callum, whether it be in family, in school, in the community, etc. If it's really going to bother you, I'd reconsider your name choice because you won't be able to stop it.

That being said, I'm sorry your in-laws are calling your unborn child Cal Dal. I agree that it's a terrible nickname.

Shell+Bell · December 2013

I've always hated nicknames...but it's because of my mom. She told off anybody that called me Mitch for Michelle, or my brother Jay for Jason. My BIL calls my oldest son Tay-Tay, his name is Taylor and I absolutely HATE it when he calls him Tay-Tay. So I'd say, stick to your guns. If you don't want your child to have a nickname (especially one you despise) then correct them every time they call him that.

jenb_99 · December 2013

Like PP said, pick your battles. She's definitely not the only person who'll do it. People shorten names; they just do. It's unreasonable to forbid it. And the more you protest, the more it will happen.

Do you and your MIL have a good relationship? She could just be trying to provoke you. In that case it's best just to ignore her completely.

ABColeslaw · December 2013

first off I love Callum..it has always been on my short list. But I agree, seriously I've nixed names because I know people love to shorten and there is just no way around it. Like Oliver..love it but Ollie Rhymes with my first name and I just couldn't go there. Honestly you should hear what H's family does to the name Asher...it is what it is. I'm no going to get all worked up about it.

tbiscuit18 · December 2013

I think it's kind of a "choose your battle" thing. My sister and brother's names are Michelle and Alex; my grandpa has always called my sister Shelly and my brother Al, Ally, and Keaton (Family Ties reference). I know my mom hated all of those nicknames but, she let it go and has even mentioned that those nicknames are unique to only my grandpa which makes them kind of special to my sister and brother. No one else has ever called my sister Shelly, nor does she identify herself other than Michelle. But to my grandpa she his is "Shelly". I know she kind of likes it that he has a name for her but not for me or the other granddaughters.

As for my brother, his wife will only refer to him as "Al" and never Alex. This drives everyone in my family crazy as it feels like she calls him that as a form of defiance towards our family.

Anyway, if the nickname bugs your kid the way it bugs you, your kid will eventually call grandma out. In which case, I'm sure she'll never call him "Cal Dal" again.

dwnslde · December 2013

My BIL wanted to call our son Al short for Alex as his "uncle name," but I said hell no. If they say "how's Cal?" Haha I would probably respond with "who?"

typeset · December 2013

I forgot. Coming up with an equally obnoxious nickname for him as grandpa (grampy) helped. "Only it sounds like crampy so we'll just call you that. Cool?"

Miles2Go · December 2013

typeset said:
I forgot. Coming up with an equally obnoxious nickname for him as grandpa (grampy) helped. "Only it sounds like crampy so we'll just call you that. Cool?"

@typeset Get out of my head.

This is what I was about to suggest. Find an awful, awful nickname for grandma that she will just abhor, that all of you will call her until such time as she lays of the Cal/Cal Dal business. If you go this route, please let us help you brain storm.

Being passive aggressive, mean, and spiteful is a special pleasure of mine.

typeset · December 2013

Miles2Go said:

I forgot. Coming up with an equally obnoxious nickname for him as grandpa (grampy) helped. "Only it sounds like crampy so we'll just call you that. Cool?"
@typeset Get out of my head. This is what I was about to suggest. Find an awful, awful nickname for grandma that she will just abhor, that all of you will call her until such time as she lays of the Cal/Cal Dal business. If you go this route, please let us help you brain storm. Being passive aggressive, mean, and spiteful is a special pleasure of mine.

I'm of the mind that lines with the grandparents need to be delineated early and in thick, permanent ink.

cristykaye · December 2013

I have a friend that from day one has called us all by a shortened version of our names. Cris, kass, Han, Jess. It just happens. I don't mind mine bc my dad has called me cris most of my life. However, if you don't like it then correct them everytime and maybe they will get the hint. And, he will really prolly get called Cal when he gets older bc it will just be easier.

laurblum · December 2013

Ugh, so annoying! Cal isn't horrid, but is it really that hard to say Callum?? I mean COME ON it's 2 syllables!!! Cal Dal would NOT fly with me. My in laws both don't like the 2 names we are deciding between, Lennon and Stella. My MIL says she is just going to call her Zoey because that's what she thinks she should be named. FIL says he's going to address her as "hey shithead". I know they were joking, at least my FIL was anyway. But my answer to both of them was "I guess you don't want to see your grandchild that much because you're not calling her anything other than her name". I also told them that this was my baby and they already got to name their kids what they wanted. I think I got my point across because all the hating on our name choices has dwindled.

jenniferroshto · December 2013

I'm not big on nicknames. DS (Dakota) has been Koda all his life. It got started and just stuck, but DD is named in honor of our neice that was killed in an accident whose name was Brookie (DD is Brooklyn). There are a few family members who shorten her name to Brookie and it irritates me but I've learned its gonna happen no matter how many times I express my opinion on it.

I do admit, Cal Dal is awful!

talkthewholetime · December 2013

Cal Dal is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. But I will say that if you don't like the name Cal, don't name your baby Callum... It's such a natural nickname that he will be called that subconsciously by plenty of people.

Also, his first and middle names almost rhyme. While Cal Dal sounds really dumb ... Callum Dallum and Callas Dallas I'm sure will happen at some point. Toughen up or change the name.

Storrmys · December 2013

Yeah my family still calls me at 43 Jeni... My 51 year old brother even to me is Freddie my sister 50 yrs is ding-a-ling... You can't always stop it !! I do it to my daughter I like Becky or my name for her is boogaboo ( shortened to boo and called her that a lot these past couple days with the hospital stay ) the family calls her Becky ... She likes Becca ... So pick your battles in the end your little one will decide and correct people when he gets old enough ..

Magheeta · December 2013

After reading through these, it looks like it's something that's going to happen no matter what. I agree with PP's that you've gotta pick your battles. You can say the nickname is annoying and see what they say, but it's up to you. Just be thankful they haven't nicknamed it "Nacho" like my in-laws have -__-

codik86 · December 2013

I'm sorry they're doing that. My mom doesn't care for our name we picked "Wyatt". She said keeps not saying Wyatt and saying Earp and things that rhyme with it. Its starting to piss me off. I hope they start honoring your choice of name and cut it out with the nicknames.

oscarwao · December 2013

I think it will happen so matter what. My parents insist that I am a Kimberly (I introduce myself as Kim, I think it's easier) my brother is Bradley (he always goes by Brad), Cynthia is Cindy, etc. I've always been adaman. About naming my kid something that I could tolerate the nickname as well,
Because irritating or not it's inevitable.

awc1986 · December 2013

If you call him Callum, he will get called Cal. If you pick a middle name that rhymes with it, then people will put the 2 together. Unless you go around breaking everyone's balls about it, it's gonna happen. Anyway, what's so bad about a pet name? At least it's not offensive. My maiden name is Carter, so you can guess what that rhymed with when I was at school.

sheriot · December 2013

Agree with pp's that you need to draw lines early on. Also I laughed out loud when I read "Cal Dal" because that's got to be a joke.

usernewname · December 2013

I would think its one thing if that's all she called your little one - but if she did use Callum, I personally wouldn't see the big deal. I love the name by the way.

Side story: we told our families we have picked names but won't be sharing. So my mom said out of complete coincidence that she loved Emily with a NN of "Em". Well we chose Emma, so Em would fit. But I wouldn't like it if that's all she called her, especially since she lives hours away and won't see her on a regular basis.

I work with kids too, so I think its one thing to ALWAYS call the child by their NN (which irritates me and I'm not even their parent and it's not even their parents calling them this), as they do have names that they were given.

Stand your ground

Empireceo · December 2013

Nicknames are kind of a pointless battle to me. DH's family is big on them, so even though Waylon lends itself perfectly well to Way if you'd like, everyone calls my son Kiki. Sure it's a girl's nickname but whatever. Maybe they'll grow out of it or maybe eventually my son will tell people he's not a fan.

Honestly, Cal is probably going to happen if you name your son Callum. Cal Dal might be hilarious to them right now, but chances it doesn't really flow nicely for me to believe that they would be running around after a toddler calling it.

monkeybutt61612 · December 2013

My MIL calls my son "critter", it makes my skin crawl, but not worth a battle. Trust me, she will do worse shit down the line.

Luckyu317 · December 2013

I would love to be in the *stand your ground* group, but I'm unfortunately a member of ''pick your battles''. DS is Alexander and everyone calls him Alex except for 2 aunts who constantly refer to him as Al. It makes me cringe every time it hear it, but I don't want to offend them by correcting them so I just try to ignore it.

pistolpackinmomma · December 2013

Pick your battles. It's not like she's calling him something vulgar or completely unrelated to his name. We tossed the idea of Jake around with DS and my MIL said she would call him budududuh (the noise a Jake brake makes) and still calls him that. His name is Rodney. He is only 1 but still looks at her like WTF woman when she says it. She has finally quit. My mom still calls him Roddy though which irks me to no end and I have voiced my opinion but I'm not going to keep fighting it.

whimsy515 · December 2013

My Mom is notorious for shortening names. I'm the exact opposite. She prefers a name with one syllable. So I thought I was safe, with naming our DS Jack. Now she wants to call him Jax. I sternly told her, that is not his name. It's Jack, not Jax, not Jackson. I even threatened her with no visitation if she doesn't get it right! But you can chalk that up to pregnant rage

Mittens14 · December 2013

ykristos said:

Of course it's your right to name your child and subsequently inform others of what his name is/your intent... but ultimately, you can't and won't be able to control what others call him. I wouldn't be surprised if many people call your son "Cal" with the name Callum, whether it be in family, in school, in the community, etc. If it's really going to bother you, I'd reconsider your name choice because you won't be able to stop it.

That being said, I'm sorry your in-laws are calling your unborn child Cal Dal. I agree that it's a terrible nickname.

This. 1,000 times, this. If you name your son Callum, people ARE going to call him Cal.

jjtyler · December 2013

When he is here and they actually call him this name, stand firm. My Dad tried to call my daughter Izzy for almost 6 months. He thought it was cute...I hated it. I told him it was Bella or Isabella and he finally caught on....

No fighting needed...I also had DH and my MIL as a back-up and reinforcement when I corrected him.

kristine526 · December 2013

Miles2Go said:

I forgot. Coming up with an equally obnoxious nickname for him as grandpa (grampy) helped. "Only it sounds like crampy so we'll just call you that. Cool?"
@typeset Get out of my head. This is what I was about to suggest. Find an awful, awful nickname for grandma that she will just abhor, that all of you will call her until such time as she lays of the Cal/Cal Dal business. If you go this route, please let us help you brain storm. Being passive aggressive, mean, and spiteful is a special pleasure of mine.

I like this. Try that for sure!

P.S. @Miles2Go ... Mine too.

julesf817 · December 2013

You can't stand the name Cal, but are going to name him Callum? er...good luck with that.

i will agree that Cal Dal is ridiculous. but you should probably get used to Cal.

danabsd · December 2013

Kimbus22 said:

I'd let it go. You can spend your life fighting nicknames or you can just go with it and let your kid decide what he wants to be called when he's old enough, which is what's going to happen anyway.

talkthewholetime said:

Cal Dal is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. But I will say that if you don't like the name Cal, don't name your baby Callum... It's such a natural nickname that he will be called that subconsciously by plenty of people. Also, his first and middle names almost rhyme. While Cal Dal sounds really dumb ... Callum Dallum and Callas Dallas I'm sure will happen at some point. Toughen up or change the name.

These, nailed it.

MissLadyTay · December 2013

You can try to fight this but Cal is a natural nickname for Callum. If you hate it I think you're going to be kind of unhappy when people use it all the time. People have given my kid tons of nicknames. So far none (thankfully) have stuck. But I can't control other people. I call him by his full name and when he's old enough he can choose.

sisterjanet · December 2013

I agree with the PP who choose names based partly on whether or not they like the nicknames that people inevitably use with the name. If you hate the nickname Cal, then you're setting yourself up for some teeth-grinding by naming him Callum.

britab · December 2013

I thought she was going to call him turd or mistake or something terrible. Cal seems pretty harmless. I think once he gets here you can be firm but it will be a common shortening.

I'm a teacher. I had a mom tell me to call her son Nicholas and all school documents must say Nicholas. He was 7 and wrote Nick on all his papers. All the kids called him Nick.

Good luck!

momthatlifts · December 2013

If it helps I got some shit for naming my daughter something that really can't be nick named. Not every baby needs a nick names guise!

Empireceo · December 2013

I think calling the nickname "unacceptable" kind of makes you seem overdramatic. It's silly and dumb but it's not like they're calling him Prince Diaperhead.

ABColeslaw · December 2013

You just don't know what will stick. My niece was one day old when I picked her up and said "Oh my you are a stinky little Kaka Bum" And seriously, people called her kaka bum for the first year, which got shortened to Kucks, and then became Miss Kucky. I mean. My sister even somehow did it. My niece turned 18 months and said "I not a kaka bum!" and that fixed that. lol.

When I was pregnant with Asher I called him Doodle Bug, which got shortened to Doodle and shortened again to dudes. I didn't start out going "I'm going to call this boy Dudes" It just happened. Until my niece who was a year and half at the time decided that Asher Benjamin was actualy Ashy Ben and that is what everyone still calls him to this day.

sthomas1222 · January 2014

My dad and I still get into fights b/c he calls my DD Gracie. Her name is Addison Grace. There's a 100 F'ing nicknames to choose before we get to Gracie. I deal with my husband's uncle and cousins calling her AG, which I don't like but is tolerable. We call her Addy. But Gracie? Gracie does not fly. I had to yell at him again just yesterday for this shit. But this is just a long line of him not respecting me as an adult and mother...

IBackBevo · January 2014

I agree with previous posters who pointed out that Cal is a typical nn for that name. Like it or not, someone will probably call him that. Just like if your name is Elizabeth, you are going to at times be called Beth, Liz or Lizzy.

My Dad calls my DS by the name he thought we should have named him. He even refers to him as that on Facebook. I just ignore him. Honestly, I don't let it bother me. It is minor in the big scheme of things and he is the one who looks silly.

busterbeagle · January 2014

You guys are all going to start calling her "granny," right?

I like Cal. But I also think whatever you call your kid is the name that they respond to, so a nickname you hate likely won't even stick.

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