Things my mother tells me...

ShePersisted · December 2013

So as you may recollect- my very empowering dear mother decided to stay with us for 5 months to help me with the baby. She arrived last week. While there are just so many pros to having an extra hand, I've been getting a new lesson on motherhood from her everyday. Initially I thought of arguing and refuting them ( because they are seriously ridiculous) but now I've decided to joke about them as that's a lot of fun and is helps me de-stress. So below are a few she shared. Please feel to add in any others you have heard from mothers, grandmothers, MILs etc.

1. Don't eat ice cream at night. The baby will get a cold

2. Don't drink any soda- the baby will get epilepsy

3. The baby never contracts any disease from grandparents

4. Don't watch the 'vampire dairies'. Your baby will be impacted by it and be like a vampire (this one took the cake)

5. You need to hire a masseur for 40 days after delivery to help you replenish all that you lost during pregnancy. It's an absolute must or else it will be hard to get pregnant again.

Don't get me wrong here- my mom is educated and very well versed with the internet and keeps up with the news etc. it's just that she raised a baby 30 years ago in a far far away land. It's kinda cute like being in a Shrek movie.

ETA:Spelling

dunvilles · December 2013

It is funny and cute now... but how will you handle it when your mom actually uses some of her "old school" methods on your LO??

MrsEvinsky · December 2013

Hahaha she's precious.

MrsEvinsky · December 2013

dunvilles said:

It is funny and cute now... but how will you handle it when your mom actually uses some of her "old school" methods on your LO??
For example, my step-mom put whiskey on my niece's gums when she was teething and would let my niece suck the whiskey off her finger.... I am SURE she would have tried this with my LO if I wouldn't have said "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" or if I would have ever left him alone w/her. She came from a place of love, but was seriously misguided that this would help....

I know a lot of people who do this.... including my dad. It didn't hurt me and helped me feel better so I'll probably do it with LO

dunvilles · December 2013

MrsEvinsky said:

dunvilles said:

It is funny and cute now... but how will you handle it when your mom actually uses some of her "old school" methods on your LO??
For example, my step-mom put whiskey on my niece's gums when she was teething and would let my niece suck the whiskey off her finger.... I am SURE she would have tried this with my LO if I wouldn't have said "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" or if I would have ever left him alone w/her. She came from a place of love, but was seriously misguided that this would help....

I know a lot of people who do this.... including my dad. It didn't hurt me and helped me feel better so I'll probably do it with LO

You are kidding right?

RondackHiker · December 2013

MrsEvinsky said:

dunvilles said:

It is funny and cute now... but how will you handle it when your mom actually uses some of her "old school" methods on your LO??
For example, my step-mom put whiskey on my niece's gums when she was teething and would let my niece suck the whiskey off her finger.... I am SURE she would have tried this with my LO if I wouldn't have said "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" or if I would have ever left him alone w/her. She came from a place of love, but was seriously misguided that this would help....

I know a lot of people who do this.... including my dad. It didn't hurt me and helped me feel better so I'll probably do it with LO

Wow.

MrsEvinsky · December 2013

I didn't realize that would be super controversial since it's really common advice among the other parents I know (no one I know is spiking their babies' bottles, just rubbing a little on their gums or giving them a little frozen washcloth to suck on)... I'm backing away right now.

dunvilles · December 2013

MrsEvinsky said:

I didn't realize that would be super controversial since it's really common advice among the other parents I know (no one I know is spiking their babies' bottles, just rubbing a little on their gums or giving them a little frozen washcloth to suck on)... I'm backing away right now.

Giving anyone under the age of 21 alcohol, in any form, is illegal.

dunvilles · December 2013

OP- it is funny the advice we hear from other generations. Especially other generations from different countries.

Hope your mom's stay is a positive one and that you can continue to find humor in her advice... lol

MrsEvinsky · December 2013

dunvilles said:

MrsEvinsky said:

I didn't realize that would be super controversial since it's really common advice among the other parents I know (no one I know is spiking their babies' bottles, just rubbing a little on their gums or giving them a little frozen washcloth to suck on)... I'm backing away right now.

Giving anyone under the age of 21 alcohol, in any form, is illegal.

Duly noted.

notreal2 · December 2013

Hg45 said:

4. Don't watch the 'vampire dairies'. Your baby will be impacted by it and be like a vampire (this one took the cake) .

I watched the Vampire Diaries with my first kid, Damon's eyes were the only things that could tempt me to power pump. My son likes to bite me, your mom may be on to something

All in all, an amusing list. Just think after 5 months, you can make this a regular F14 feature.

dunvilles · December 2013

DreamingBabies said:

MrsEvinsky said:

I didn't realize that would be super controversial since it's really common advice among the other parents I know (no one I know is spiking their babies' bottles, just rubbing a little on their gums or giving them a little frozen washcloth to suck on)... I'm backing away right now.

Giving anyone under the age of 21 alcohol, in any form, is illegal.
Are you saying that someone who is 18 and has a couple of beers is on the same level as rubbing whiskey on a newborns gums?

I am saying that giving anyone under the age of 21 alcohol is Illegal. I am not splitting hairs about "which scenario is worse" etc. Just stating a public law.

dunvilles · December 2013

DreamingBabies said:

dunvilles said:

It is funny and cute now... but how will you handle it when your mom actually uses some of her "old school" methods on your LO??
For example, my step-mom put whiskey on my niece's gums when she was teething and would let my niece suck the whiskey off her finger.... I am SURE she would have tried this with my LO if I wouldn't have said "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" or if I would have ever left him alone w/her. She came from a place of love, but was seriously misguided that this would help....

I know a lot of people who do this.... including my dad. It didn't hurt me and helped me feel better so I'll probably do it with LO
My plan is for me to drink whiskey while baby is teething. I'm not sharing with the kid, I'm going to need every last drop mixed with my coke.

Ha! Yes, you will need something to get through that phase

RondackHiker · December 2013

I can't believe I just googled "whiskey for teething" to prove why it's bad, but here's the first link.

https://www.babymed.com/blogs/jaclyn-stewart/whiskey-risky

Lots of people recommending something does not make it good advice. Lots of people recommend some very unsafe things, like forward facing before one.

orchid8301 · December 2013

dunvilles said:

MrsEvinsky said:

I didn't realize that would be super controversial since it's really common advice among the other parents I know (no one I know is spiking their babies' bottles, just rubbing a little on their gums or giving them a little frozen washcloth to suck on)... I'm backing away right now.

Giving anyone under the age of 21 alcohol, in any form, is illegal.

I actually don't think this is correct. The law could have changed, but as far as I know, parents are allowed to serve their children, at least in certain states. There might be a certain age, but I don't think it is as black and white as no one under 21 ever.

Now, I have heard of several people using whiskey. It is not something I will choose to do. I think you should try orajel or some other methods before alcohol. I would assume alcohol was used before these other, more effective options, were readily available.

I tried the orajel one night and it really numbed my tounge. Whiskey doesn't come close to having the same numbing experience in my opinion.

cksmith29 · December 2013

Here's a good one (please do not try this).. My cousin always had a croupy cough as a kid. Her dad would give her a spoonful of sugar with a drop of kerosene in it. Yes, kerosene. They claimed it would work like a charm and the whole house could get a good night of sleep.

RondackHiker · December 2013

FYI, most oral pain relievers aren't recommended either.

https://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/06/01/fda-warns-about-benzocaine-in-baby-pain-gels/

MrsEvinsky · December 2013

RondackHiker said:

I can't believe I just googled "whiskey for teething" to prove why it's bad, but here's the first link. https://www.babymed.com/blogs/jaclyn-stewart/whiskey-risky Lots of people recommending something does not make it good advice. Lots of people recommend some very unsafe things, like forward facing before one.

You're right. It would definetly not have been plan A.

notreal2 · December 2013

cksmith29 said:

Here's a good one (please do not try this).. My cousin always had a croupy cough as a kid. Her dad would give her a spoonful of sugar with a drop of kerosene in it. Yes, kerosene. They claimed it would work like a charm and the whole house could get a good night of sleep.

I'm sorry but WTF?

Why is no one breaking down this man's door to get him to write a parenting book? Even moonshine would be better than kersosene. That gives me the shivers.

kella0708 · December 2013

dunvilles said:

MrsEvinsky said:

I didn't realize that would be super controversial since it's really common advice among the other parents I know (no one I know is spiking their babies' bottles, just rubbing a little on their gums or giving them a little frozen washcloth to suck on)... I'm backing away right now.

Giving anyone under the age of 21 alcohol, in any form, is illegal.

I don't agree with giving an infant whiskey - as PP stated it's not safe and there are other acceptable methods that can ease that pain I teething.

That being said the whole "alcohol is illegal" argument seems a tad overboard to me. I come from an Italian family, there was/is always alcohol involved in our meals. It was never treated as illegal and taboo - just a way of life. Even as a young child I was never denied a sip of dad's wine or even my own wine glass with a few drops of wine mixed with water. By the time I was 16 I was allowed to have half a glass with dinner when I wanted to. I'm pretty sure my parents were never worried they were going to be locked up because of it.

dunvilles · December 2013

Has anyone ever read the book Shit my Dad Says ? It reminds me of some of these things and is a freaking hilarious read!!!

Overview

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern found himself living at home with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:

"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them."

kella0708 · December 2013

cksmith29 said:
Here's a good one (please do not try this).. My cousin always had a croupy cough as a kid. Her dad would give her a spoonful of sugar with a drop of kerosene in it. Yes, kerosene. They claimed it would work like a charm and the whole house could get a good night of sleep.

Yikes!!! Of course the house had a good nights sleep your poor cousin was being poisoned!

dunvilles · December 2013

kella0708 said:

MrsEvinsky said:

I didn't realize that would be super controversial since it's really common advice among the other parents I know (no one I know is spiking their babies' bottles, just rubbing a little on their gums or giving them a little frozen washcloth to suck on)... I'm backing away right now.

Giving anyone under the age of 21 alcohol, in any form, is illegal.
I don't agree with giving an infant whiskey - as PP stated it's not safe and there are other acceptable methods that can ease that pain I teething. That being said the whole "alcohol is illegal" argument seems a tad overboard to me. I come from an Italian family, there was/is always alcohol involved in our meals. It was never treated as illegal and taboo - just a way of life. Even as a young child I was never denied a sip of dad's wine or even my own wine glass with a few drops of wine mixed with water. By the time I was 16 I was allowed to have half a glass with dinner when I wanted to. I'm pretty sure my parents were never worried they were going to be locked up because of it.

I did look up US drinking laws, and you're right. There are MANY variations. It is illegal to purchase alcohol under 21. But like you said, you could have wine with your parents and sometimes relatives. Also religious purposes.

So my blanket statement of anyone under 21 doesn't always apply. I still don't think it is ok to give an infant whiskey for their gums.

ShePersisted · December 2013

dunvilles said:
It is funny and cute now... but how will you handle it when your mom actually uses some of her "old school" methods on your LO??

It's a process- things that I think are harmless I'll just take in my stride but things that are absolutely baseless or may actually be harmful to LO I am going to take a stand. For instance when she started to tell me what TV shows I should be watching I just sat there on the couch unmoved. She got the message and backed off.

Same thing with the masseur- I told her it costs $300 an hour because they are coming home, so for 40 days that's close to a $12000 plus the oil and tips. She sorta never brought it up again. That's why it's kinda funny- she tells me something is an absolute must but then she also cares about my money not going waste.

dunvilles · December 2013

@Hg45

I agree with a PP, you should write all of this down! Sounds like you have a good handle on things and that you and your mom have a great balance. Oh the laughs you shall have.

RondackHiker · December 2013

MrsEvinsky said:

RondackHiker said:

I can't believe I just googled "whiskey for teething" to prove why it's bad, but here's the first link.

https://www.babymed.com/blogs/jaclyn-stewart/whiskey-risky

Lots of people recommending something does not make it good advice. Lots of people recommend some very unsafe things, like forward facing before one.

You're right. It would definetly not have been plan A.

I'd hop it's not any plan.

ziggy903 · December 2013

@hg45 tell her you're willing to get the massages she says are an absolute necessity... if she's willing to pay for them!
you know, daily massages... it would be a sacrifice. but it would make your mom happy, right?

ShePersisted · December 2013

ziggy903 said:
@hg45 tell her you're willing to get the massages she says are an absolute necessity... if she's willing to pay for them!
you know, daily massages... it would be a sacrifice. but it would make your mom happy, right?

True I told her what it's going to cost- no mention of it so far, maybe I'll bring it up over lunch just to tickle her feathers ;-) the only thing I dread is because it costs so much she might offer to do the massage for me- I think that's going to be horrible as she would not be a silent masseuse. Yikes!

TessyMessy · December 2013

@dunvilles that book is hilarious. I was banned from reading it in bed because i kept waking DH up!

In regard to whiskey and teething: I'm with @dreamingbabies I will drink all the whiskey.

My MiL told me that I need to prep my nipples for BF. I told her that stimulation can cause contractions and that i did just fine with DS without the nipple workouts.

ShePersisted · December 2013

Stophoney said:

My MiL told me that I need to prep my nipples for BF. I told her that stimulation can cause contractions and that i did just fine with DS without the nipple workouts.

What does prepping involve though? Is it just simple moisturizing or you know a boob massage, like they do for the cows?

inluv4life2 · December 2013

I'm on board for daily massages! My Mom and I had a full on arguement about her wanting to put baby powder on DD when she was first born. I told her that people don't use it anymore, it is a respiratory risk and that diapers now are so absorbent you don't need it. She was adament and then went and bought some while I was napping. I told her that if she put it on my child, she could go ahead and just leave. I was a little crazy/sleep deprived so it came out pretty mean but I was so angry she didn't listen to me. We laugh about it now, though.

dunvilles · December 2013

Hg45 said:

My MiL told me that I need to prep my nipples for BF. I told her that stimulation can cause contractions and that i did just fine with DS without the nipple workouts.
What does prepping involve though? Is it just simple moisturizing or you know a boob massage, like they do for the cows?

I am wondering the same thing and have a VERY funny mental image of what this entails... haha

magentawarped · December 2013

Hg45 said:

Stophoney said:

My MiL told me that I need to prep my nipples for BF. I told her that stimulation can cause contractions and that i did just fine with DS without the nipple workouts.
What does prepping involve though? Is it just simple moisturizing or you know a boob massage, like they do for the cows?

A lot of old schoolers think you have to "toughen up" your nips by rubbing them with a washcloth...not generally pleasant. Even if I didn't hear better, I'd pass.

TessyMessy · December 2013

magentawarped said:

Hg45 said:

Stophoney said:

My MiL told me that I need to prep my nipples for BF. I told her that stimulation can cause contractions and that i did just fine with DS without the nipple workouts.
What does prepping involve though? Is it just simple moisturizing or you know a boob massage, like they do for the cows?
A lot of old schoolers think you have to "toughen up" your nips by rubbing them with a washcloth...not generally pleasant. Even if I didn't hear better, I'd pass.

Yes her suggestion involved twisting, twirling and a lot of rubbing with objects.. I didn't let her elaborate further because I was afraid she would mention sandpaper. Ouch!

ShePersisted · December 2013

Stophoney said:

magentawarped said:

Hg45 said:

Stophoney said:

My MiL told me that I need to prep my nipples for BF. I told her that stimulation can cause contractions and that i did just fine with DS without the nipple workouts.
What does prepping involve though? Is it just simple moisturizing or you know a boob massage, like they do for the cows?
A lot of old schoolers think you have to "toughen up" your nips by rubbing them with a washcloth...not generally pleasant. Even if I didn't hear better, I'd pass.
Yes her suggestion involved twisting, twirling and a lot of rubbing with objects.. I didn't let her elaborate further because I was afraid she would mention sandpaper. Ouch!

Hmm reminds me of the red room of pain ( ref 50 shades of grey) nipple clamps anyone;-)

btrebus · December 2013

My grandma told me my baby was going to be deformed when he's born because I didn't go to church on Christmas.

My cousin's baby contracted meningitis when she was only a couple months old and almost died, she's now deaf because of it. My grandma said she got it because they didn't go to church and God takes revenge out on those who don't go to church.

Gee, thanks Grandma. Lesson from her- go to church or God will smite your children.

RedSoxGirl10 · December 2013

Hahaha definitely get your mom to pay for the massages... say things like "you want more grandchildren, don't you?"

Also love the one that kids never get sick from their grandparents.

My mom has not come up with any good ones, I just have the same issue a couple of other people mentioned where my parents think I can't do anything. I had an emergency doctors appt last week that my parents nicely drove me to. I wanted to get out of the car and walk like 3 feet to the door in the rain (AH RAIN) and they were like NONONONONO. I was like, do we know I am still teaching kindergarten every day and bringing the kids outside is basically any weather? Hilarious.

magentawarped · December 2013

Fortunately, my mother knows her info is outdated and doesn't bug me with it. She did make me laugh the other day though. She asked if we were going to have a bris since DH is Jewish. I told her no, since I'm not Jewish the baby won't technically be either, plus we're not raising with any particular religion. She replied, "Well, since you're not doing the ceremony, maybe we could just break a glass or something for DH's parents' sake." Um, wrong Jewish occasion, but A for effort there, mom!

littlepig2 · December 2013

btrebus said:
My grandma told me my baby was going to be deformed when he's born because I didn't go to church on Christmas.

My cousin's baby contracted meningitis when she was only a couple months old and almost died, she's now deaf because of it. My grandma said she got it because they didn't go to church and God takes revenge out on those who don't go to church.

Gee, thanks Grandma. Lesson from her- go to church or God will smite your children.

ohh right, I totally remember this from CCD. they definitely taught us God is spiteful and full of hatred for those who miss church. I think they cover that in 5th grade.

more seriously, I am so full of rage for you.

Codypup · December 2013

inluv4life2 said:

I'm on board for daily massages! My Mom and I had a full on arguement about her wanting to put baby powder on DD when she was first born. I told her that people don't use it anymore, it is a respiratory risk and that diapers now are so absorbent you don't need it. She was adament and then went and bought some while I was napping. I told her that if she put it on my child, she could go ahead and just leave. I was a little crazy/sleep deprived so it came out pretty mean but I was so angry she didn't listen to me. We laugh about it now, though.

Wait, hold up -- you're not supposed to use baby powder? Not being snarky, I just hadn't heard this before.

dunvilles · December 2013

Codypup said:

inluv4life2 said:

I'm on board for daily massages! My Mom and I had a full on arguement about her wanting to put baby powder on DD when she was first born. I told her that people don't use it anymore, it is a respiratory risk and that diapers now are so absorbent you don't need it. She was adament and then went and bought some while I was napping. I told her that if she put it on my child, she could go ahead and just leave. I was a little crazy/sleep deprived so it came out pretty mean but I was so angry she didn't listen to me. We laugh about it now, though.

Wait, hold up -- you're not supposed to use baby powder? Not being snarky, I just hadn't heard this before.

It is a respiratory risk as PP said. I wish they wouldn't sell things that aren't safe.... Like certain car seat covers, baby powder, orajel... etc...

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