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April 2014 Moms
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Vent.... :( long....

dmosquera4dmosquera4 member
in April 2014 Moms
So a month ago I got very sick with the flu and while that passed now I'm getting sick again, we are at my DH parents so I asked him to ask his mother where I could go if she has any recommendations well, he said oh yea my mom is taking you and left, I mean shouldn't he be concern that his pregnant wife is getting sick again withing a few weeks (I would!). needless to say to day before yesterday I fell of the bed and twisted my ankle and I was on the floor for a good 10 min before I could get up, he didn't even help me get up, just gave me a bottle of water and went back to sleep.... I mean really... Am I overreacting? I'm in tears on how he doesn't even care if there is something wrong with me. The woman carrying his child...

To add to this I am very close with my family and we moved cross country because he got a really good job so this is the first Christmas/New Years I spent away from them and he doesn't seem to care. I'm very upset and as much as I have tried to tell him and talked to him he just brushes it off and walks away....:'(



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Re: Vent.... :( long....

  • lokimaulokimau member
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  • KatieGummowKatieGummow member
    I would be really upset, too.  Maybe it is time to sit down and have a talk?  DH read a book about being an advocate for your pregnant wife and he is super protective over me, but sometimes I do have to remind him about how I am feeling and what I need from him.  I think men just don't get it.
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  • ambarnett1ambarnett1 member
    Hugs. I would be upset as well. If DF wasn't protective and helpful than I would be pissed. Yes you are carrying the baby, but it is his kid, so he needs to care about what is going on and be more involved. Definitely time for a DH intervention! I hope things get better for you.

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  • CecilbearCecilbear member
    Hugs to you! I don't think you're overreacting in the least. I don't have any advice to offer, but wanted you to know that I'm listening!
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  • luvU2theMoonluvU2theMoon member
    i would be upset as well. I think its hard for them to understand that we need more help and more consideration and concern while we are pregnant, nervous and unsure of whats going on inside of us. I am sorry your dealing with this. hopefully he will shake it off and come around. Men can be so clueless. My boyfriend is overly protective of me and constantly asks me if i am ok but there are certain things still that i am like "really,you didnt think that was something you should have cared more about??". So even the guys who are more protective and concerned still mess up...Its a learning process especially if this is the first baby. I am sure he cares, maybe he is just distracted with the holidays and being around his family. Hopefully once things calm down he will be better. i hope your feeling better. <Hugs>

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  • Pandamom14Pandamom14 member
    <3 I'm sorry your going through this :(. No real advice here but hugs.
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  • babym6705babym6705 member
    I'm sorry your going through that. I went through the same thing with my DH when I was pregnant with our first LO. He is a zillion times better with this pregnancy. He apologizes profusely all the time for his behavior during our first pregnancy. He told me he acted that way because 1) he was terrified and 2) he didn't really get it till our daughter was born. Honestly, it is still really hard for me to forgive him bc they feel like excuses when I "woman"ed up and he didn't "man" up, but it has been helpful to me to understand why he acted so awful during our first pregnancy.

    Also, I tried EVERYTHING to get him to try to be more supportive, from have positive communication to full blown nagging. Nothing helped until my daughter was born. I hope communication helps you two though, but if it doesn't your not alone.
    happily married since 2009, SAHM
    diagnosed with unexplained infertility, regular cycles
    Baby #1: ttc naturally for 3 years, 6 yr old daughter
    Baby #2: ttc naturally for 2 years, 2 yr old son
    Baby #3: ttc naturally since August 2016
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  • juniper75juniper75 member
    I hear you. Some guys really don't get it. They don't know what to do so they avoid instead. My DH is one of these. I was disappointed with my first pregnancy that he wasn't more protective or helpful and he is much worse this time around. Like you I find it hurtful and I have tried talking to him but I get nowhere! Try not to let it get you down and focus on yourself and baby instead.

    If it makes you feel better, he is a great Dad to DD - just sucks at looking after or considering his pregnant wife. Still watching him with our daughter makes me less angry the days I am fed up.
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