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**A14 Book Club - LE** Monday Discussion Questions

BiggerinRealLifeBiggerinRealLife member
in April 2014 Moms
Question:
All four of the women who star in Little Earthquakes have complicated relationships with their mothers or mothers-in law. Think about how these relationships affect them and the bonds they develop with their babies. For instance, how do Ayinde's childhood memories and the current dynamics between her and her mother affect the relationship she develops with Julian? Ayinde clearly wants to raise her child differently than her parents raised her, but she also shows she wants to live up to her mother's expectations by taking Baby Success! seriously. How do you think this blend of motivations will affect Julian?

Question:
In Little Earthquakes, Ayinde, Kelly, and Becky each take a different approach to raising their baby. Ayinde tries Baby Success!; Kelly starts with a type A approach, keeping track of every little detail on spreadsheets and making sure Oliver has the perfect clothes and toys; and Becky goes for a more laid back, all-natural strategy. How do their approaches work out for them? Does any one approach seem to work out better than the others?

Discuss either or both. Also, let me know if you think one question a day would work better or if you like two. Trying this out for now. Happy discussing!
2014-08-24 15.36.57-2  2014-08-23 17.20.12
2014-08-24 15.22.00  2014-08-20 12.19.26
  
Fell in Love: January 2003 
Married: May 2006
Baby Girl Born: April 2014
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Re: **A14 Book Club - LE** Monday Discussion Questions

  • MamamonzoMamamonzo member

    I'm going to answer the first question.  I think as FTM's there are always these built up expectations of how we want to raise our babies.  We'll do anything to have all the answers, and to make it look like we actually have our shit together.  I think the book Ayinde reads (from what I remember her mother didn't even read it) sets her up for these totally unrealistic goals and expectations, however, Ayinde clings to it because 1) She wants to impress her mother and make it look like she has it all together, and 2) She actually believes it's helping her (and maybe in a way it was) because she doesn't really have a good example of a mother. 

    I think FTM's try to do everything so "by the book" that they forget to just enjoy being a mom, and eventually it will hurt Ayinde and Julians relationship.  She may forget how to just go with the flow, which is an important thing to be able to do especially in the toddler years.  Depending on how many years the book covers Julian may catch on and start to resent Ayinde for stifling him, and not just letting him be a kid.

     

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  • MamamonzoMamamonzo member
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  • snmetz7snmetz7 member
    All of the relationships to the mother figures are horrendous. You've got ayinde whose mother was totally hands off to a fault, Becky whose mil Is the controlling monster, Kelly who had a very poor strained life growing up and lia who just never properly communicated to her mother. All of they are doing everything in their power to not end up like their mothers.

    Ayinde goes in the complete opposite direction which causes problems in her marriage (to the point where the husband is forced out of the bed) and Kelly practically ruins her marriage over it too because she's afraid to be poor again.

    As to the 2nd question I tend to agree that Becky's parenting worked best but not just from a mother/child standpoint but from a total family standpoint.
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