Who pays?

lellymine · December 2013

Talked about this at breakfast with some friends and it got surprisingly intense. Who will pay for your child/ren to go to college? Do you believe it's your obligation as their parents or do you think it should be their responsibility because they're adults and it'll make them appreciate it more?

curlylocks3 · December 2013

I deeply appreciate that my parents paid for my college education. I did get chances to party, but I also didn't have to work to pay for school. It allowed me to focus on a fairly intense program. As college costs rise, I don't know if it will be possible for us to do but I'd like to pay for at least a portion.

LindsayDesigner · December 2013

My parents weren't in the position to pay for my schooling so I worked through my undergrad. DH's parents saved enough to pay half and the other half was up to DH. I really like the idea of contributing but leaving part of it up to the child.

nunzchucks · December 2013

I'd certainly like to try to pay. My parents paid for mine. I expect my kids to work hard for scholarships, etc. I ended up only paying for room/board due to scholarships.

Who knows if we will even be able to save enough?

Ladybird2014 · December 2013

My parents paid. My children are already set for college. I can see both sides of the argument. To each it's own!

owlcup · December 2013

I think we might give them something towards it, but we will definitely not pay for it all. DH paid his own way through trade school and I'm paying for my own college now. I also don't know anyone who's parents paid for their entire education.

ElTrain5 · December 2013

My mother intentionally got a job at a local college so that my sister and I would get tuition credit. Anything extra was our responsibility (room/board, meal plan) or if we wanted to transfer to a different school, we'd need to take out loans.

Personally, I would like to help my kid/kids pay, perhaps offering 2 years at a local community college and let them do loans for wherever they transfer to, or help by co-signing loans to somewhere. I definitely to not agree that it's the parents' "responsibility" to pay for college though. I feel the same way about cars.

MrsNunes · December 2013

My parents did a little of both. They had money saved up for me, but made me pay a portion of the first year to instill those values. If I made Dean's List, then they would pay, but if not then I was expected to take loans out, etc. It certainly kept me focused and out of trouble, but I was a good kid. My sister...different story, haha. I plan on doing the same thing with mine. Plan for their future, but also teach them that college is a responsibility and privilege, not just a reason to party and piss money away.

Mztwilson · December 2013

For me I think I'll have my children pay. Both dh and I had to pay for our education. My step dad was helping my little sister pay for her college and since she wasn't paying for it she passed a total of half a semester in the year she went. I feel she figured she could drop classes because she wasn't paying for them someone else was. To me when that money comes out of your pocket you work harder to pass the classes.

amackattack · December 2013

I will try to pay! My H works at the private college that we both went to. If he's still there, our kids will go there and if they want to go somewhere else they can pay for it themselves! I will try to entice them by encouraging them to do the asia study abroad program or the semester in Hawaii. You can stay at home and still see the world! If he isn't still working there when they are ready, we will still try to pay. Both of our parents paid what they could and we had mountains of loans. 2-3 years out of college and we're still grappling with about 50K of debt which will hinder us from saving for OUR kids! And the cycle continues. However, I am totally going to encourage my child to explore ALL options besides a four year university. This was almost not an option for anyone I knew when I was in high school and I don't think college is the only way to be successful or should be for everyone.

kimmyberly26 · December 2013

My parents made all of bus kids pay for half. With that in mind, I went tons state school for 2 years and then to a Private university the last two years. I expect that we will do the same for our kids.

RaeJ004 · December 2013

DH currently works at a private university and has no plans of leaving. Once people get jobs there, they stay until retirement. So if he is still there all of our children will get a free education. If they would like to go somewhere else that doesn't have a tuition exchange program with his employer, they will have to pay for it themselves. I feel that if we provide a way for them to go and they don't want to take advantage of it, then it is on them to find a way to go. We also have savings accounts for them that we contribute to every paycheck. If we don't need to use those for their college you better believe DH and I are emptying them and going on an amazing vacation just the two of us.

SecondTimeinMSU · December 2013

I certainly don't feel it is an obligation to provide a college education but I would like to be able to help out my kids so they don't have to take on a huge amount of debt. Right now we are saving a little each paycheck towards DS's 529 but I hope to do more eventually when we can. I don't think we'll cover it 100% but I'd like to give them a solid start.

otter1103 · December 2013

I didn't want to take away from my parents retirement to pay for school and they weren't in the ideal position to do so without serious cuts. I was looking at private colleges so took it upon my self to fund it. My parents were going to pick up the dorm/food expenses and books. If I'm in the position to help my kids, I will but they will have to work for it as well. My son doesn't care to do homework now while in HS, he only passes classes because he aces the test. He's just too lazy to do homework. He has already been told, college is all on his own. He's enlisting in the military now because he says college isn't really for him. I won't argue. I used the military to help pay for my school and help find out what I wanted to go to school for. My life insurance however is an amount that will pay for education if I'm not around. Trusts have been set that so much goes to school and so much is awarded after school. If don't go to school, money is awarded after they reach X age (which is purposefully set later than an approximate college graduate age)

Edit: fixing auto correct mistakes...

AnnaKaie · December 2013

My parents always told me they would pay for mine. I was not a material person. I am a hard worker and never really asked for anything.

My senior year the up and told me they would not pay for my college. I wish I would have known soon. I made due with grades and all the scholarships I could get my hands on. I literally wore myself out doing everything I could to knock off tuition. Band, choir, sga, anything and everything.

I was fine paying for it myself. I just wish I would have known sooner.

katekat8721 · December 2013

Ladybird2014 said:
My parents paid. My children are already set for college. I can see both sides of the argument. To each it's own!

All of this.

mek20 · December 2013

We will have a savings account set up for both of our children, and we will give them $20 a month. Our family gives mostly money for birthdays and other events, so most of that money will go into this account as well. Hopefully by the time they go to college, they will have a few semesters saved up...

This might sound selfish, but we have more priority on our retirement. Our kids can get loans for their education. We won't be able to get loans to live on when we retire.

chaysefaith · December 2013

I would like to at least be able to help, but I also want my kids to work hard on schoolwork and dedicate themselves to at least one sport in hopes of earning some scholarships.

PinkKEL9 · December 2013

My parents paid for mine and it was probably the best gift they could give me! I also chose to go to a school where tuition was pretty cheap and I got a full tuition scholarship. So my parents paid for housing, books, food, etc. It is pretty rare these days to graduate with no student loans and I am so thankful for that.

I hope DH and I can pay for our kids college. We will do everything we can to help them.

MNOpea · December 2013

I would like to be able to help. We want a large family (5 kids) so I am not anticipating being able to pay for all of them to go to college (if this is what they choose) but I would like to at least be able to make a sizeable contribution, whether that be room and board and they pay tuition or vise versa.

Shineoncrazy · December 2013

My parents paid for my undergrad and now my master's. Our LO's college is set and we plan to pay for upper level degrees, if applicable.

Graduating debt free is one of the best gifts my parents have given me. Plus, it took away the fear of choosing a lower, "dues" paying position in my industry right out of school.

With that said, I have tremendous respect for people who make their own way and work through school.

bebemac · December 2013

Oh my kid will pay. I work at a university now so, assuming I am still here, he will pay a greatly reduced rate. You're welcome, kid!

MissBHaven1024 · December 2013

I'm torn on this question. While I do believe that we should pay for our kids to go to college, I also feel that they should strive to get good grades and earn scholarships. So I think it's more of a 50/50 type deal; they have to bring something to the table as well. I'm not just going to send a kid to college who is going to screw off and just wants to experience "college life".

arekeweg · December 2013

We will save for our children but expect them to get jobs in the summers (at least) in high school and college. They will also need to apply for scholarships.

When I was a senior and was applying for scholarships my parents told me they had funds for me to use if I had to but said I needed to get as many scholarships as possible. The scholarships paid for most of my college and I had good jobs during summer breaks (factory job two summers and a well paying internship for the other two summers...I went for 4.5 yrs). I also worked in high school and on every break we had from college. I never had to use the money from my parents and since it was in my name I got it for whatever else I needed.

If you read much investment/financial planning advice you'll see that @mek20 is correct that students can qualify for loans while we will be hard pressed to get funds for retirement. The advice you will see is to say for your retirement and then children's college funds.

almendarez · December 2013

My parents paid for my undergrad and grad school tuition and for all of my textbooks so I feel like I should do the same for my children.. BUT, they made me live at home for the first 2 years and never paid for housing so I was limited in which colleges I could apply to (only one) and I had to work part time to pay for housing and gas after I moved out... I won't force them to live at home and I wont limit which schools they can go to, but I probably wont cover their housing because I think it is good to get a job early, especially an internship related to the field they are going into. I feel like school didn't prepare me for my industry but working at an engineering firm helped a lot.

Also, DH is still paying off student loans 10 years later and it has been pretty difficult on the both of us! I think if he can avoid student loans for our children, he definitely will.

We have at least 18 years to figure this out though so we'll see how it goes...

rmjones15 · December 2013

My parents paid for my room and board as long as I worked part time (for gas and whatever else) and kept my grades up. I think we will try and do the same. I would love to foot the whole bill, but DH is a teacher and I am a social worker, so that won't be happening anytime...ever.

wtfisup · December 2013

We will start a fund ASAP. I'm a first generation college grad. I know it builds character, but kids who begin life with debt begin on a less even playing field. I won't buy them a car or pay their rent, but there are long-term and sometimes permanent socioeconomic repercussions to early debt accrual (that I and many of you experience). It's not te worst, but I'll try to prevent that.

zolastele · December 2013

I am on the fence about this. I paid my own way because my parents were not in any financial position to help, and although I did learn a great deal from it, I am now saddled with so much student loan debt that it's making life pretty difficult. DH's parents paid his way, and I think he has an even more sensible outlook on finances and work ethic than I do, plus we don't have any debt from his part. I would not want to put my kids in the same position I am, because it is really difficult. However I do want them to be independent and responsible. SO...maybe we'll do a little of both. Half and half?

puttyeast · December 2013

I paid for tuition and textbooks and my parents paid for housing and food. I feel like this was a good deal because I was paying for my education and they were paying for me to...well...stay alive.

I think I will try to do this with my kids as well. That is if we can afford it. Unfortunately our career choices don't offer the biggest salaries. I believe the grandparents might also want to offer a little support as well, so that could help.

Pepper6 · December 2013

While H and I will be starting a savings fund for our children, we want to highly encourage them to explore their options, either by working to get their own scholarships like I did, or enlist in the military for on the job training and GI Bill like my H did. If they do choose to go to college, we will require them to take out their own student loans and if they pass all their classes, then we will pay them off each year. (we figured this would be a best of both worlds scenario: the money is still 'theirs' so they won't have the advantage to screw around because 'it's not their money', but they also won't be burdened with debt if they do well).

If they somehow manage to get through college on their own and we don't use all of their savings for that purpose, we will use it for either their weddings or a down payment for a house (their choice). Regardless, I want to impress upon our kids that any financial help we give them is for their benefit, not ours and that they better make the most of it, because once they are done with school, we are done supporting them.

Unknown · December 2013

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diagonalley · December 2013

So I have a semi weird circumstance...my great uncle won the lottery and paid for my college. However, I took schooling very seriously because I had maintain a certain gpa to get my certification to teach and I also had several friends already stressing about loans. How I treated my education in college was a complete 180 from how I treated it in hs. However, my brother completely blew off his education and ended up dropping out and working as a convenience store manager. He has since left that position and is back at school on his own dime...he learned that lesson the hard way.

DH paid for school himself with loans, scholarships, and then paid it all off with inheritance from his grandmother's passing. Because we ended up both having some help in some way I am sure we will help our kids out as much as we can, but you better believe they better take it seriously or we won't be helping.

bumpuser9343355 · December 2013

We will help as much as we can, but given the cost of college these days (and I can only imagine what it will be by the time our kid gets there) I don't think we would be financially able to pay for the whole thing. I paid for my college, DH's parents paid for his so we've experienced both sides. We will do what we can, but we will definitely be encouraging our kid to go for scholarships.

mrs_drc_rn · December 2013

I'd like to help my kids as much as possible. DH and I have both worked hard to get ourselves through college by earning scholarships and taking out loans. It's hard having so much debt looming over our heads. I'd like to help take some of that burden off of our kids but they will be expected to work hard and earn scholarships as well.

LovetoLive614 · December 2013

If I am in a position that I am able to help pay, I would love to but I think its more important for parents to be set for retirement than spend all their money paying for their children's education so the burden of caring/paying for elderly parents does not fall upon the children.

alicatand · December 2013

We definitely plan on paying for undergrad, but with an emphasis on working hard and also earning scholarships to assist. If they wish to pursue higher education, that will be on them to fund, though if we're in a position to assist, depending on the situation, the kid, and the program, we might consider it.

For our kids, I don't see NOT going to college as an option. Both DH and I were raised knowing we'd go on to college, and we both worked hard in school knowing that was the next step. We hope to instill the same in our kids. So, I would feel terrible watching my kids going into a sea of student loans to do something both my DH and I believe in and had the opportunity to do ourselves.

On the flip side, I understand why not all families can or want to fully fund a college education and I think it's a very personal financial and moral decision for everyone.

Pahialii · December 2013

My parents paid for my undergrad and then I received a scholarship to attend grad school. I'd like to try to do the same for my children as it was such a wonderful thing that my parents did for me. That being said, any scholarship or grant they could find will be highly encouraged.

Uptowngirl2009 · December 2013

My grandparents actually saved up some money that helped me pay for some of my college. My mom also took out a loan and I have student loans myself. I plan on starting a 529 college savings eventually for LO.

I know how miserable DH and I are trying to deal with paying our student loans. I would like to help them as much as possible. As soon as we get my loans and some of our other debt paid off we will probably put some of the money towards college savings.

MrsRage · December 2013

My parents helped me as much as they could every year and the rest was on me. I think that's the route we'll go too. Help out as much as possible, but they will have to cover the rest. It's not a big deal for me now to pay my loans.. they are not a huge burden on me and I didn't break my parents bank.

mrs_drc_rn · December 2013

Anyone have any experience with the Gerber Life College Fund? When my friend had her baby it was a gift from her mom but I'm not sure how legit it is.

colllydon · December 2013

I paid for my own college but I would have liked a little help! I've always had to work my ass off for what I have but I wouldn't be opposed to helping my child if I can afford it. Probably not all of it, but definitely some.

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