Insomnia check in

mavgirl_73 · December 2013

@katemw the story always changes as the screws tighten...

notkateanymore · December 2013

OK, obviously this is insanity. You aren't going to change your mind or the diaper and the rest of us think your nuts for it. I'm done.

mh89 · December 2013

JaxxM said:
Just read through a bunch of forums of other moms that dr Google brought up. Hahaha I'm not the only one AT ALL.

S-a-n-c-t-i-m-o-m-m-i-e-s.

Because you're not the only parent doing things badly doesn't make you right.

B-i-t-c-h.

KFED103 · December 2013

You said you knowing let your baby CRY for at least 3 minutes (translation: baby is ALREADY awake) and don't change her diaper when you know that's why she's crying. That is what is fucked up. Who said to wake a peaceful sleeping baby to change them? Edit: (Unless you need to wake to feed early on)

Maybe I'm just tired and my reading comprehension is off, and I'm sure most of us are over this whole thing, but am I crazy here?

Aycul18 · December 2013

KateMW said:
If you know she cries when she pees or poops, why don't you change her? She is crying bc she has a dirty diaper. She is awake, you know there is a dirty diaper, why not change her? How hard is that to understand? I don't wake my child up to check and see if he has a dirty diaper, but if I knew he had one, I for sure would change it.

This exactly...

bjhafner04 · December 2013

Tmi, I repeat, tmi.

I just had my first pp poop, 2nd degree tear, pp day #3.....and clogged the toilet. Oops. And I may need more dermaplast.

(

bjhafner04 · December 2013

And I only change poopy dipes at night, usually crying because hungry, not because of a lil pee. If still cries soon after I feed, then I change it too.

ugoglencoco · December 2013

Hey! I just woke my sleeping baby to change his poop diaper! Never thought I'd deserve mommy of the year award for that but apparently doing such things is not a given in this world. Seriously, just disgusted.

aessary03 · December 2013

I agree, 3 minutes is a long time to let a baby CIO. Hell, just today we were in the car coming back from the grocery store and little man got so hungry he stayed wailing in the car. I had to pull over just so I could hold him. I couldn't stand the crying. It tugs on my heart strings. I couldn't do the CIO with my oldest so I'm sure I won't be able to with this one (and I didn't start that until WAY later).I just feel too horrible.

lp0 · December 2013

I could never do CIO with a newborn. It physically hurts me to hear DD cry. We tried with DS when he was about 5 months and it didn't work for us. He got more worked up that it made it harder for him to go to sleep. It was way faster to just rock him for a few minutes until he fell back asleep.

Also there are studies that say CIO can be dangerous for the baby because it elevates the blood pressure in the brain. It also goes into how it effects the parent/child relationship. I'll ask DH the name of the book when he gets home, it was an interesting read.

I don't wake DD at night to change her diaper if it's just a little pee (if she's awake I change her). If she poops I do change her right away. She doesn't cry for a soiled diaper period but I'd definitely change it immediately if she was obviously bothered by it.

mh89 · December 2013

JaxxM said:
The book I read btw is "bringing up Bebe".

Talks about how the French do things. And how Americans are guilt tripped into the ideology of attachment parenting. In France if your child isn't sleeping through the night at 2 months old its considered almost embarrassing.

French children are also usually very well behaved. The only reason I was turned on to this book is because I was looking up cultural differences and other ways of doing things - tired of reading same bullshit over and over.

But apparently I'm a "bitch" and horrible mother for telling the truth about how I roll. Smh.

Eta: I saw I missed someone's question on what I read.

I called you a bitch because of the attitude and name calling you were doing, not because you "told the truth about how you roll".

Anyway, I wanted to apologize because I shouldn't have called you that word even if I was irritated. It's not how I talk to people in real life so I shouldn't say it to an internet stranger either. I'm sorry.

On another note, from everything I've read, most other cultures in the world practice at least some form of attachment parenting, much more so than they do in the US (at least as far as breastfeeding, baby wearing, and co-sleeping goes). I haven't looked at the French's culture in particular, but if the French book that you read recommends letting a newborn CIO and sleep in their feces then it isn't a credible or good one. Also, letting a two month old sleep completely through the night would be detrimental to most mother's milk supplies and isn't biologically normal for the child either, even if it is apparently embarrassing to French mothers.

K. Sorry to beat a dead horse with this thread by continuing the topic.

ugoglencoco · December 2013

DS1 cried every single night until he was 8months from 6pm to 9pm. I never once put him down. You're very wishful washy on what you're doing. You said 3 minutes, then 30 seconds, now you're back to 3 minutes. How about you make up your mind. Also, my grandparents are from France, and definitely never let any of their kids sit in their pee/poop diaper. I also know they didn't just let their newborns scream for 3 minutes either. Newborns can't manipulate, and need to know you're there.

Ansleyturner · December 2013

Well this is obviously going no where.

grannyweatherwax · December 2013

The fact is, you shouldn't be letting your 5 week old CIO AT ALL. 5 weeks is too young.

Mauidmama · December 2013

Lord have mercy.... Who gives a shit. Everyone has different parenting styles and every child is different. Blah blah blah. The end.

nofcksgiven · December 2013

JaxxM said:
The book I read btw is "bringing up Bebe".

Talks about how the French do things. And how Americans are guilt tripped into the ideology of attachment parenting. In France if your child isn't sleeping through the night at 2 months old its considered almost embarrassing.

French children are also usually very well behaved. The only reason I was turned on to this book is because I was looking up cultural differences and other ways of doing things - tired of reading same bullshit over and over.

But apparently I'm a "bitch" and horrible mother for telling the truth about how I roll. Smh.

Eta: I saw I missed someone's question on what I read.

I read this book, too. I loved it and the follow up book. We're actually putting a lot of the theories into practice with our LO.
Not once did I read that it's okay to leave your child sitting in shit.
Did I miss that part? LMK.

notkateanymore · December 2013

Lord have mercy.... Who gives a shit. Everyone has different parenting styles and every child is different. Blah blah blah. The end.

There is a difference between parenting different and being a crappy parent. Every child is different, but none like sitting in their own pee or shit. I never thought somebody who changes their baby's dirty diapers at night would be labeled a sanctimommy.

Ansleyturner · December 2013

JaxxM said:

KateMW said:

Mauidmama said:
Lord have mercy.... Who gives a shit. Everyone has different parenting styles and every child is different. Blah blah blah. The end.
There is a difference between parenting different and being a crappy parent. Every child is different, but none like sitting in their own pee or shit. I never thought somebody who changes their baby's dirty diapers at night would be labeled a sanctimommy.
I was more talking about letting her cry for 3 min. But sanctimommy definition to me someone who has very opinionated views on child raising. Everyone was extremely opiniated about waking up their babies at night to change them so it fits too.

Then wouldn't that make you a 'sanctimommy' as well? Your just as opinionated as everyone else here. The only difference is no one agrees with you

nofcksgiven · December 2013

JaxxM said:
@meggie lmk where it says to wake a sleeping baby.

For Fucks Fucking Sake, if your baby is crying, she's NOT fucking asleep!

She's just not. You can't say you're letting her CIO for 3 minutes and then say she's sleeping. You just can't.

notkateanymore · December 2013

I don't think not feeding your child off the kid's menu can be compared to letting them sit in their own crap.

grannyweatherwax · December 2013

Risalyn222 said:
I'm really late to the party! I feel like an awful mother now! Unfortunately my babies do sometimes have to cry for longer than I would ever have let ds1 cry. With 2 newborns and a 22 month old and only 2 hands I can't physically soothe everyone. One baby may be getting hungry while I'm in the middle of feeding the other and they are left crying. I hate every second of it but i don't know why else to do. Of course if dh is home it's a completely different story. With two sets of hands everyone gets cuddles and loving when they need it.

As for the diapers, I change every time they wake up to feed. And if I notice that someone has pooped I will most certainly wake them up to change their bottom.

You're not doing it intentionally. You're not a horrible mother

aessary03 · December 2013

Risalyn222 said:

I'm really late to the party! I feel like an awful mother now! Unfortunately my babies do sometimes have to cry for longer than I would ever have let ds1 cry. With 2 newborns and a 22 month old and only 2 hands I can't physically soothe everyone. One baby may be getting hungry while I'm in the middle of feeding the other and they are left crying. I hate every second of it but i don't know why else to do. Of course if dh is home it's a completely different story. With two sets of hands everyone gets cuddles and loving when they need it. As for the diapers, I change every time they wake up to feed. And if I notice that someone has pooped I will most certainly wake them up to change their bottom.

That's a COMPLETELY different situation! You're so not a bad mother. You're doing the best you can with as many hands as you have!

notkateanymore · December 2013

First off...the book you so love was written by a former newspaper reporter living in France best known for writing a book about global adultery. Second, Le Pause is apparently recommended starting around 4 mo. not 4 weeks.

https://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/26/books/review/pamela-druckermans-bringing-up-bebe.html?_r=0

KFED103 · December 2013

Gawd, you should totes move to France and write a book

grannyweatherwax · December 2013

KFED103 said:
Gawd, you should totes move to France and write a book

I'm mailing you all the cookies I can find.

nofcksgiven · December 2013

JaxxM said:

Meggie0421 said:

JaxxM said:
@meggie lmk where it says to wake a sleeping baby.
For Fucks Fucking Sake, if your baby is crying, she's NOT fucking asleep!

She's just not. You can't say you're letting her CIO for 3 minutes and then say she's sleeping. You just can't.
Oh for fucks sake. Stop getting hung up on 3 min. You dont know my daughter, you obviously arentvreading through everything and ate getting hung up on the word CIO.

I'm not sure you actually read the look. You would have corrected me saying its actually called "the pause" and that the French dont call it crying it out.

I completely understand. You chose to call it CIO. There's a HUGE difference between "the pause" and CIO.
Not running to your baby the second they make a sound is one thing- allowing them to transition in sleep, to readjust, to make a little noise for a very short amount of time. CIO is letting your child CRY IT OUT.
Not the same thing. Don't try to make it the same thing.
I allow Jack to make some noise before I pick him up. Most of the time it's just sleep noise and he goes straight back to sleep, if he ever woke up at all. But, when he's crying, he gets picked up and soothed ASAP.

2010weddinggal · December 2013

I change baby all the time, he is little and his butt gets red, I do not know whats worse hearing him cry cause he is wet or seeing that nasty rash. Right now he is in his swing making all kinds of noises so I know he is pottying and yes I will change him soon. Jaxx I think where people are confused is you said you only change diapers when he is awake. You say you wait three mins and if he goes back to sleep then you leave it at that. If he is even crying at that point why not get up and just change the diaper? Any amount of crying means something is up and needs to be addressed. BTW pee diapers can irritate the shin just as much as a poo diaper the amonia in the urine will eat skin horribly.

nofcksgiven · January 2014

JaxxM said:

ClaireFraser said:

I still don't understand how you wean a newborn from night time feedings. Unless she did it in her own but with the rest of the crap that was mentioned in here, I'm not sure if that was really the case.

look up how to wean a baby from nighttime feedings, they are gentle ways to do it. I let her do it on her own - no cold turkey but figured out what helps her not want to eat at night. Every baby is different its a trail and error. I know my baby is getting the right amount of liquids as i bottle feed as well and she is well in the daily intake for bfing babies. She has the right amount of wet/poo diapers throughout the day and she is still gaining weight. I researched myself and figured out what worked for my baby. I also dont let her comfort nurse, and never have.

Gosh. You seem like such a caring and nurturing person.

aessary03 · January 2014

This is the thread that never ends. It goes on and on, my friends. Some people started reading it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue reading, 'cuz it's the thread that never ends.......

aessary03 · January 2014

JaxxM said:

aessary03 said:
This is the thread that never ends. It goes on and on, my friends. Some people started reading it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue reading, 'cuz it's the thread that never ends.......

aessary03 said:
then stop responding and it will end.

says the chick who has to have the last word on everything. That's a little pot calling the kettle black, don't ya think?

aessary03 · January 2014

JaxxM said:
aessary03

Edited. Not even worth your stupidity.

I will major side eye any parenting advice (or any advice, for that matter) from youafter all this.

notkateanymore · January 2014

JaxxM said:

JaxxM said:

Meggie0421 said:

ClaireFraser said:

I still don't understand how you wean a newborn from night time feedings. Unless she did it in her own but with the rest of the crap that was mentioned in here, I'm not sure if that was really the case.

look up how to wean a baby from nighttime feedings, they are gentle ways to do it. I let her do it on her own - no cold turkey but figured out what helps her not want to eat at night. Every baby is different its a trail and error. I know my baby is getting the right amount of liquids as i bottle feed as well and she is well in the daily intake for bfing babies. She has the right amount of wet/poo diapers throughout the day and she is still gaining weight. I researched myself and figured out what worked for my baby. I also dont let her comfort nurse, and never have.
Gosh. You seem like such a caring and nurturing person.

gosh you see like such a fucking liar.

And while you're calling names...you seem like a really shitty mother. Gosh.

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