Emotional Mess

TwinkleTor · December 2013

I have been crying for two days already. I am always emotional during the holidays because before my parents got divorce almost 17years ago, Christmas and New Years were the holidays with my most precious memories. But it's been 17 years that I haven't seen my birth father and not because he passed away, but just because he is a douche bag that ran away and left his children behind. And now being a mom to an angel baby, and knowing how it feels to lose a child, I don't understand how someone can just walk out on their children the way he did. I would give ANYTHING to get my Domenik back. While my birth father can contact me at any moment because I'm still alive and he just chooses not to. The holidays were hard before just being a child of divorce and having to deal with all those emotions. Now I have to deal with more emotions because my precious boy is gone. The one who should have been here in my arms right now as we speak (EDD 12.8.13). It's a consistent feeling of abandonment.

I seriously can't wait for January 2nd. When all this "holiday spirit" is behind us. I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be happy, behind an alcohol induced smile.

Miss you more than ever LITTLE MONSTER DOM! Merry Christmas and Happy New Years Domenik and all you ladies and your sweet angels!