Late Term and Child Loss

Emotional Mess

I have been crying for two days already. I am always emotional during the holidays because before my parents got divorce almost 17years ago, Christmas and New Years were the holidays with my most precious memories. But it's been 17 years that I haven't seen my birth father and not because he passed away, but just because he is a douche bag that ran away and left his children behind. And now being a mom to an angel baby, and knowing how it feels to lose a child, I don't understand how someone can just walk out on their children the way he did. I would give ANYTHING to get my Domenik back. While my birth father can contact me at any moment because I'm still alive and he just chooses not to. The holidays were hard before just being a child of divorce and having to deal with all those emotions. Now I have to deal with more emotions because my precious boy is gone. The one who should have been here in my arms right now as we speak (EDD 12.8.13). It's a consistent feeling of abandonment.

I seriously can't wait for January 2nd. When all this "holiday spirit" is behind us. I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be happy, behind an alcohol induced smile.

Miss you more than ever LITTLE MONSTER DOM! Merry Christmas and Happy New Years Domenik and all you ladies and your sweet angels!

Re: Emotional Mess

  • sorry you are having such a hard time right now...the holidays are really tough.  ((HUGS))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.
    Ticker id: ra2f

    BFP #2, EDD 12/26/14, please be our rainbow.

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  • ((Hugs))
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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • I hear you and Im so sorry. Im so sorry that we are this miserable these holidays. I want it over so bad.
  • *Hugs*. We are having a tough time here at home, also.
    On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Phoebe Jaslene born at 19w3d. We love you beba! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

  • XathXath member
    edited December 2013
    *siggy warning*

    Hugs to you.  
    Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture Lilypie - Personal picture 
     DS1 - 7/2011, DD 12/2012, DS2 - 4/2014, MMC - 12/2015
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • {hugs}

    EDD 1/8/10 - our sweet sunshine DD born 12/30/09
    EDD 2/15/14 - Stillbirth at 21 wks 10/02/13
    EDD 8/12/15 - MMC 1/12/15
    EDD 12/24/15

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

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