Does your or your SO command do this?

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2013

We have a new battalion commander and today an email went out asking for all the females in the battalion due dates for the new "baby tracker." I would understand if it was a deployment readiness thing, but it includes the spouses as well. The next message was about how he wants to visit each new baby at home. He will arrange a time to visit ahead of time so he wont be just dropping in as a surprise. Is this normal in the military world? I've never heard of this, but I've also never had a baby before. I'm not talking about my company commander (O-3), I'm talking about the battalion commander (O-5).

JENandJEH · August 2013

DH's Squadron keeps a baby tracker because each new baby gets "orders" cut and a small gift from the Squadron Commander and his family. In our last battalion, the Battalion commander's wife would visit new babies but not her husband.

Avion22 · August 2013

I've been in squadrons that tracked this unofficially, mostly so the boss knows what's going on with the troops and families. Bosses really like to know what's going on with their troops, and it helps a lot to know due dates, leave plans, stuff like that. If you don't feel comfortable sharing this information, then it's probably not mandatory. I'm honestly not sure how I would feel about my boss visiting me at home in the days after the baby is born.....but I've heard of squadrons sending flowers, planning meal deliveries, etc, and that would probably be okay.

ufsandra85 · August 2013

no but my command is 6000 people. my admiral (or I should say I ) write everyone a letter then they have a baby

mysticl · August 2013

My husband is in the Navy and his shop keeps track so they know who is going to need leave. For instance 2 wives were due at about the same time so that affected other people requesting leave. They sent gifts for the last 2 babies born but that's a new things. As for a visit from a higher up, no way. The people who are actually friends will go see the new baby but that's it.

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2013

Avion22 said:

I've been in squadrons that tracked this unofficially, mostly so the boss knows what's going on with the troops and families. Bosses really like to know what's going on with their troops, and it helps a lot to know due dates, leave plans, stuff like that. If you don't feel comfortable sharing this information, then it's probably not mandatory. I'm honestly not sure how I would feel about my boss visiting me at home in the days after the baby is born.....but I've heard of squadrons sending flowers, planning meal deliveries, etc, and that would probably be okay.

Oh its official. Its not something that the FRG is running. There are actual slides being briefed to him at training meetings.

I don't really want to try and juggle a newborn and hosting for my battalion commander at the same time.

BLT20051 · August 2013

Interesting. DH got a birthday card from his BC. I thought that was odd. In my unit I barely see the BC let alone speak to him.

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2013

BLT20051 said:

Interesting. DH got a birthday card from his BC. I thought that was odd. In my unit I barely see the BC let alone speak to him.

I am thinking this is odd as well. I would understand if I worked in one of the S shops and saw him daily, but I'm pretty low on that food chain.

Avion22 · August 2013

Well you clearly don't have to let him into your house if you don't want him there. Even if it is official, it doesn't mean it's mandatory to share all of the information that he's asking for. And you can definitely request NO VISITORS :-)

iluvmytxrgr · August 2013

I had members of H's command come to the hospital when my kids were born. As a unit, either command or the FRG leaders deliver food and a gift to the homes of new parents. It doesn't strike me as odd at all.

ArmyQM · August 2013

My husband and I have chosen to not visit the babies and family in his battalion because its just not something I would have wanted. (And I did have a brigade representative visit in the hospital when #1 was born. It was plain awkward) However, he has required his company commanders to inform him of a birth because we do want to recognize the event with a small gift. We give the gift to the SM during a duty day after s/he returns to work.

BLT20051 · August 2013

HisChamaoleGirl said:

BLT20051 said:

Interesting. DH got a birthday card from his BC. I thought that was odd. In my unit I barely see the BC let alone speak to him.

I am thinking this is odd as well. I would understand if I worked in one of the S shops and saw him daily, but I'm pretty low on that food chain.

Yeah it would make more sense if one of you were on staff level.

shinece · August 2013

Adrd47 said:

My hubby's command doesn't, but they're not exactly family friendly. It's great that yours sounds like they are.

Ditto

meltoine · August 2013

H's previous squadron commander visits everyone at the hospital when they have babies. This squadron does meal drop-offs for a week or so.

KIR2DS4 · August 2013

My husband's current unit sends flowers, which is a set up from the nothing at his last unit.

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2013

Avion22 said:

Well you clearly don't have to let him into your house if you don't want him there. Even if it is official, it doesn't mean it's mandatory to share all of the information that he's asking for. And you can definitely request NO VISITORS :-)

DH suggested that we greet him in the driveway with baby bc he doesn't feel the need to entertain either. I had to lol.

I wonder if the BC will reconsider once he realizes we live off base ....

Carnation77 · August 2013

No, I haven't see that before but I do know that it's been tracked unofficially. That being said, you do have the right to tell them you don't want them in your home. It's possible they're doing this to be nice It's also possible they're trying to come up with a reason to inspect your home and how you're parenting your child. A female military member can be required to provide her due date. However, a male military member is under no obligation to provide private medical information about his spouse.

Carnation77 · August 2013

And it's plain inappropriate to be creating slide shows with medical information. Commanders are required to protect private medical information of Servicemembers provided to them for official purposes.

If anyone from my unit shows up at the hospital or my house they're getting turned away. Period.

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2013

I just figured out *why* he wants to walk through. Apparently one of the comments on the command climate survey indicated that the command doesn't care about the families and these visits are one way to show that they do. I have no idea what that person who wrote that is talking about bc I have never been to a unit who does as many family oriented events. I don't even just mean FRG lead. I mean we get off work to do events as a unit with them on weekdays.

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2013

mummyofsix said:

Also, I think this falls into the "we cant win" category. Half the people want to be left the hell alone, half the people want more interaction and whatever the command does there is always 50% of people pissed off. Oh well.

I totally see your point. I'm going to stop bitching now.

BeachM · August 2013

No, but my husband's CO came to visit us in the hospital when our son was born. This was a rather chill shore duty command though and would likely never happen on sea duty.

ladybugpjb · August 2013

Nope - not at either command. We didn't have FRGs at either command either.

drcolleen · August 2013

I've worked in the clinic/hospitals where I delivered. When I had my 1st the DCCS and my residency director (both LTCs) visited as an "official" thing a few hours after I delivered, it was a friday. With #2 I had her on sunday evening, called the dept secretary lady that evening to block my clinic schedules and she never told my boss, no one visited (other than friends/colleagues), then I was d/c'd after 25hrs, came in the next day for a bili check and ran into my LTC boss who was shocked/mad because no one had told her I had my baby...... I later ran into the DCCS and hospital Commander and they said they owed me a visit, I graciously took the pass. However, both times it was the hospital Command that were supposed to visit, not the Unit Command (if that makes any sense to a line unit).

The Army does have a Command VIsitation requirement (don't remember the reg) for annual home visits but the post I'm at now is big at enforcing. There have been a number of abuse/neglect cases on post not to mention finding people that were living in questionable conditions. I just do a drive by of those I rate who are all docs and nurse practitioners so figure it's up to them to do the right thing they make enough $, my boss does the same.

ArmyWife114 · August 2013

DH's BC didn't visit us at the hospital, he and his wife sent a lovely note right after DS was born, then she put together the FRG doing "baby baskets," everyone bought $5ish gifts for a bigger basket, but we do that for all the babies born in the battalion. The battalion also gave us a nice engraved cup with DS's name, birth date, weight, and height. I would have found a home visit VERY odd.

JVFU · September 2013

San Diego naval base just got a new CO and boy is she a "gem"... She is so against family in the military that one of the active duty moms my best friend works with had premature twins that required Nicu stays. They are so frail they were born probably two months ago and have yet to come home. Usually by the old policy the mothers 6 weeks of leave doesn't start until the baby/s leave the hospital- not this new CO... She made her take her leave while they were in Nicu and denied postponing it or letting her use earned leave for when the babies actually come home so she could've actually learned and bonded with her now healthy children in their own home environment but no- her children will come out of the Nicu and the next day go straight to a daycare. These other commands sound great! So jealous lol

HisChamaoleGirl · September 2013

JVFU said:

San Diego naval base just got a new CO and boy is she a "gem"... She is so against family in the military that one of the active duty moms my best friend works with had premature twins that required Nicu stays. They are so frail they were born probably two months ago and have yet to come home. Usually by the old policy the mothers 6 weeks of leave doesn't start until the baby/s leave the hospital- not this new CO... She made her take her leave while they were in Nicu and denied postponing it or letting her use earned leave for when the babies actually come home so she could've actually learned and bonded with her now healthy children in their own home environment but no- her children will come out of the Nicu and the next day go straight to a daycare. These other commands sound great! So jealous lol

That sounds awful. Those poor babies :-(

Carnation77 · September 2013

"The Army does have a Command VIsitation requirement (don't remember the reg) for annual home visits but the post I'm at now is big at enforcing. There have been a number of abuse/neglect cases on post not to mention finding people that were living in questionable conditions. I just do a drive by of those I rate who are all docs and nurse practitioners so figure it's up to them to do the right thing they make enough $, my boss does the same."

Just as an FYI - unless the Government owns the housing (not off post housing or privatized on post housing) then the chain of command has no right to enter your home unless you invite them in. The Army can't enforce a regulatory requirement that violates the Constitutional right against unreasonable searches.

RelativeChaos00 · December 2013

Ours did not do this, but I kind of wish they had, it's a lovely idea!

lovemyboyyss · December 2013

My husband is a Marine but we have 3 kids and all 3 commands (they were different) have visited. They brought us a card, flowers for me, and for our first, a little baby gift. It is very relaxed and informal. I think I was in my robe all 3 times!

EmbracingChange · December 2013

When Ry was born DH was in Iraq. Another wife and I gave birth to boys on the same day one room apart. The CO sent us each a card, "orders" letter for the baby, and their shop passed a cover around for donations to start their college fund. Each of the boys received $127 to start their savings account.

nthomas1014 · January 2014

My husbands unit does not do this. They do like to be informed about pregnancies but I assume that's just so they know roughly when they are going to issue paternity leave. That's nice that the BC is so family friendly. Better that than the other way around!

shesamommy · February 2014

Thats pretty awesome. I wish my command did something like that but since my DH is deployed during my pregnancy his upper chain checks on me from time to time. I think they are more excited about the baby than I am. It should feel good that they care that much because so many people dont think twice when your not a "ready body".

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