Holiday venting corner.... — The Bump
March 2013 Moms

Holiday venting corner....

So some of you are lucky enough to have a nice normal family and in laws. For those of you who don''s your judgement free holiday venting corner.....

My mil is a controlling freak. She constantly has to ask questions that are none of her business- how I feed him, what I feed, how I prepare it, who babysits, ect. She had to be my first visitor in the hospital and asked "where are you sending him to daycare?" While she was there. She thinks her family is the #1 and that every holiday and visit should be with them. Probably doesn't sound so bad right? Well this year she stooped to a new low telling my DH that she was going to get his grandma from out of state. She told him if she went through all the effort of getting her that he really needed to spend Christmas with his real family (meaning them and not mine) because the only thing keeping her alive is DS. I'm so pissed. I'm going to have to give myself a huge pep talk before having to grin and bear and entire day with her and her low antics.

Re: Holiday venting corner....

  • Ooooh, can I join? I'm not near family for Christmas, but we did just get back from visiting family for Thanksgiving.

    I started having issues with MIL and SIL and their negativity shortly into my relationship with them. They would insult everyone, including DH, behind their back and it has been confirmed they have a laundry list of complaints about me, though to my face they call me wonderful. Supposedly, when I was in the grips of sleep deprivation with a 6 month old while dealing with the first trimester of my second pregnancy, my place was so messy MIL constantly complained to everyone but how sloppy I was (it was a 750 sq ft apartment housing a mobile infant, of course it was messy)

    Anyway, for various reasons, while in town we chose to stay with my family (first and foremost being my mom's place is fairly babyproofed). We also dedicated more time in the visit to my family because I had multiple family members, including three grandparents and a sibling (with her kids), coming in from out of state, and there were only 3 in-laws to visit with when we went to see them. As it was, they had 2.5 of our 6 days in town, and I left it up to DH how often we would visit them and for how long.

    When DH went to spend time with his grandfather and I stayed behind with the kids to spend a day with my dad (divorced parents), SIL had an earful for DH about how unfair it was. She basically accused me of keeping the kids from them and not caring about them, feeling we should have gone to see them first since my mom had "just seen us and already met DS" (we flew her out to visit/help when DS was first born). When DH said we'd be out there the next day for the whole day, SIL snidely said "yeah, right, after an hour Sarah will be tired and want to go home", which pissed me off because "Sarah looks tired, you should take her home" was MIL's polite way of kicking us out when she's done having us visit when we lived in town. And yes, I was tired, but I had 2 toddlers a year apart, of course I was tired all the time, but I never used it as an excuse to leave.

    There were also vague comments about how I didn't even consider them family, that I'd made DH abandon his family to adopt me (when, according to her, should be the other way, since I "took their last name, not the other way around"), and I'm sure she was thinking I had DH's balls in my purse or something similar.

    Meanwhile, once we were there, she was all smiles and sweet talk. Gah, MIL and SIL are so two-faced.
    DD- 11/17/08, DD- 11/16/09, DS- 3/20/13 
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  • That stinks- I hate when the "women are so catty" stereotype is proven to be true by MILs and SILs, because it doesn't have to be! Good luck
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  • Oh in laws, such fun. I mostly get along with MIL, surprisingly better since LO was born but one really irritating thing is that she will make plans without consulting anyone. Like last Friday, she announced that she and FIL would be coming on Sunday and staying overnight (they live 2.5 hrs away). Not asking, just informing us. We actually had plans for my parents 45th anniversary and DH told her that so thankfully they are coming tonight instead. I just really hate feeling like we are being ordered around and not asked.

  • My SIL is very domineering and has caused a major divide in the family. When I know I have to be around her, I get anxiety and can hardly sleep the night before. Luckily, she is visiting her family for Christmas this year. Wahoo!
  • Oooh, MIL just showing up would drive me batty. I can't handle my in-laws on my own and my DH works random hours. I need to have him home or have lots of plans to keep us away from the house so I don't have to do small talk in order to keep my sanity.
    DD- 11/17/08, DD- 11/16/09, DS- 3/20/13 
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