Starting New Job- Do I tell?

111emd · December 2013

So, I am 5w2d and I start my new teaching job on January 7th.

I am wondering if morally/legally I have to tell them before starting? I will be working with infants/toddlers so there's not much to worry about as far as running around, lifting etc.

Has anyone been in this situation before and if so what did you do? I know they can't "fire" me necessarily but since I haven't started yet can they reassign me or relocate me to get me to quit? Or mess with my hours?

I will say that my very fist inclination is to tell them, however my husband is concerned they will try and get me to quit and I don't have to tell you how important the extra income will be when the baby get's here. If I don't tell, I am concerned about what it will do for my work relationships with co-workers & supervisors. I am really at a loss. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Cat&S · December 2013

I would wait until 12 weeks at the earliest.

111emd · December 2013

Thank you ladies. It makes sense, I am just concerned about possible repercussions after I tell and they find out I started there pregnant and didn't say anything. I don't want my hours cut or them to relocate me. I've heard many horror stories....

ksz_3 · December 2013

FWIW I started a new job last week and went ahead and told the hiring manager 1) because I knew her on a personal level and wanted to be up front about my pregnancy 2) In my line of work (around this area anyway) if they find out before your 90 days that you're pregnant, the will fire you and not think twice about it which would really put me in a financial bind. ETA: Words

FemShep · December 2013

I wouldn't say anything until you're in your second trimester. Your chance of MC is lower then, it's a pretty standard timeframe for telling people, and you'll have at least a few weeks to impress people without everyone judging you based on your pregnancy.

erbear · December 2013

I would not say anything until you're ready. It's a preschool - do you know how many women of child bearing age are pre-school teachers!? I wouldn't worry about it at all. You will not qualify for FMLA (and who knows if you qualify for maternity leave - you'll have to find out at some point) but I don't think anyone will think it odd or unprofessional to keep your pregnancy quiet until 2nd trimester or later.

rowanthefrog · December 2013

No, you don't have to tell them yet. And if they somehow tried to get you to leave then they would be subject to a lawsuit under the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. Most people don't tell their employers until 12 weeks and you are under no obligation to tell them before you are ready.

The only thing you do need to be aware of, working with small children, is fifth's disease. If that goes around your classroom it can affect your pregnancy. Ask your OB about it but don't panic.

A

111emd · December 2013

erbear said:

I would not say anything until you're ready. It's a preschool - do you know how many women of child bearing age are pre-school teachers!? I wouldn't worry about it at all. You will not qualify for FMLA (and who knows if you qualify for maternity leave - you'll have to find out at some point) but I don't think anyone will think it odd or unprofessional to keep your pregnancy quiet until 2nd trimester or later.

I won't qualify for FMLA? Because I am pregnant before my start date? That was one thing I was concerned about. I did sign all of my paperwork and everything before we found out. I wonder if that will make a difference?

111emd · December 2013

rowanthefrog said:

No, you don't have to tell them yet. And if they somehow tried to get you to leave then they would be subject to a lawsuit under the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. Most people don't tell their employers until 12 weeks and you are under no obligation to tell them before you are ready.

The only thing you do need to be aware of, working with small children, is fifth's disease. If that goes around your classroom it can affect your pregnancy. Ask your OB about it but don't panic.

A

Thanks for the information. I'd never heard of Fifths Disease before and I've been working with children for 10 years! That's nuts! I will be working with toddlers, so maybe the chances of that are less with that age group? I am more concerned with all of the bending, picking up and holding I am going to have to do.

mamaloaf · December 2013

FMLA qualification has to do with time on the job. I believe 12 months at time of delivery is the measurement. Regarding your question, I feel like your dilemma would have been telling them before accepting the position, so I don't see what difference it makes now.

111emd · December 2013

mana84 said:

FMLA qualification has to do with time on the job. I believe 12 months at time of delivery is the measurement. Regarding your question, I feel like your dilemma would have been telling them before accepting the position, so I don't see what difference it makes now.

Hi Mana84,

thank you for the information about FMLA, that makes sense. The teaching position is at a state funded preschool and the hiring process took place over the course of a few months. They offered me the job a full month before I got pregnant. My main concern was that they would not want to keep on a pregnant woman.

erbear · December 2013

111emd said:

erbear said:

I would not say anything until you're ready. It's a preschool - do you know how many women of child bearing age are pre-school teachers!? I wouldn't worry about it at all. You will not qualify for FMLA (and who knows if you qualify for maternity leave - you'll have to find out at some point) but I don't think anyone will think it odd or unprofessional to keep your pregnancy quiet until 2nd trimester or later.

I won't qualify for FMLA? Because I am pregnant before my start date? That was one thing I was concerned about. I did sign all of my paperwork and everything before we found out. I wonder if that will make a difference?

I might be wrong, but I believe you have to be on the job for more than a year to qualify for FMLA. They could give it to you anyway, but they don't have to. It doesn't matter anything about being pregnant before your start date.

111emd · December 2013

I might be wrong, but I believe you have to be on the job for more than a year to qualify for FMLA. They could give it to you anyway, but they don't have to. It doesn't matter anything about being pregnant before your start date.

Ah, gotcha. Thank you. Since it's a state job I might be able to ask around or find out more about their policies without anyone I work with finding out. Thank you for the info!

FemShep · December 2013

FMLA isn't paid maternity leave, it's simply job protection if you take a leave of up to 12 weeks to care for a family member or yourself. Essentially, FMLA guarantees an "equivalent" position (not the same job) if you take up to 12 weeks of leave for an approved reason.

You need to have worked (not signed papers agreeing to work) for your employer for at least 12 months, as well as a minimum number of hours over the past year. Additionally, there are requirements of at least 50 employees at your site, and certain positions (senior executives, for example) can be declared ineligible by the employer.

See https://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/benefits-leave/fmla.htm for more info.

Asking your employer to "give" you FMLA doesn't make any sense; essentially, you're just asking them not to fire you while you're on leave, and the employer cannot agree to grandfather you in to FMLA protection; it's against the law.

Additionally, most maternity leaves are paid through the company's STD (short-term disability) insurance policy, which almost always must be in place before you get pregnant, and not a separate "maternity leave" policy.

OP, since you work for the state, YMMV. Additionally, some states have supplemental insurance benefits which you may qualify for depending on where you live. In short, don't assume anything. The best way to find out more about your leave options is to ask for a complete benefits package ASAP. When you're ready to tell work, you can schedule time with your HR person to go through process, policies, etc in detail.

111emd · December 2013

FemShep said:

FMLA isn't paid maternity leave, it's simply job protection if you take a leave of up to 12 weeks to care for a family member or yourself. Essentially, FMLA guarantees an "equivalent" position (not the same job) if you take up to 12 weeks of leave for an approved reason.

You need to have worked (not signed papers agreeing to work) for your employer for at least 12 months, as well as a minimum number of hours over the past year. Additionally, there are requirements of at least 50 employees at your site, and certain positions (senior executives, for example) can be declared ineligible by the employer.

See https://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/benefits-leave/fmla.htm for more info.

Asking your employer to "give" you FMLA doesn't make any sense; essentially, you're just asking them not to fire you while you're on leave, and the employer cannot agree to grandfather you in to FMLA protection; it's against the law.

Additionally, most maternity leaves are paid through the company's STD (short-term disability) insurance policy, which almost always must be in place before you get pregnant, and not a separate "maternity leave" policy.

OP, since you work for the state, YMMV. Additionally, some states have supplemental insurance benefits which you may qualify for depending on where you live. In short, don't assume anything. The best way to find out more about your leave options is to ask for a complete benefits package ASAP. When you're ready to tell work, you can schedule time with your HR person to go through process, policies, etc in detail.

Thank you! That was so much easier to understand than the stuff I'd been searching online.

brit.ni · December 2013

I'd tell them when your comfortable. You don't legally have to.

111emd · December 2013

WhoCanItBeNow said:

brit.ni said:

I'd tell them when your comfortable. You don't legally have to.

If you are at your position long enough to qualify for FMLA, yes, you actually do have a legal obligation to tell them prior to starting your leave for a pregnancy or you will not qualify. You will have paperwork to fill out and your doctor has to complete it as well. You have to give them 30 days notice. You are a jerk if that is all you give them, and they'll probably figure it out by that point anyway.

https://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/employeeguide.pdf

That makes sense. Personally, I'd like to tell ASAP because I value this job and as a teacher I realize how vital continuance of care is for toddlers. I would hate to lie all through my pregnancy and then leave them with a few weeks to find someone qualified to take over for me while I am gone. I also believe my work relationships would be strained when I come back for being a jerk and not telling them as soon as I could.

You've all helped tremendously, thank you!!

laurmar21 · December 2013

I personally wouldn't tell them until you are starting to show... when you have to tell them. If it's not affecting your work, then it shouldn't really matter to them. As long as you give them enough notice so that when you leave on your maternity leave, they can have someone fill in (or replace you if you aren't coming back). That is just what I would do.

meganscherer · December 2013

I currently work at a daycare where there is a lot of bending, lifting, and keeping up with the kids. When I was pregnant with my daughter I was also concerned about all the bending and lifting I would be doing while pregnant. But, honestly it was great, I considered it as my daily work-out. The only time that it got really hard to do anything was the last month of my pregnancy. So, don't worry you will be fine!

Cosmolove · December 2013

I was going to wait until I was at least 9 weeks before telling anyone but one day my boss was going over some training with me (I was 7w) and I almost threw up on him....cat was sorta out of the bag at that point

111emd · December 2013

Cosmolove said:

I was going to wait until I was at least 9 weeks before telling anyone but one day my boss was going over some training with me (I was 7w) and I almost threw up on him....cat was sorta out of the bag at that point

Oh boy! LOL, yeah that would do it. I think out of respect for the organization and to ensure that I can still have a good working relationship with my supervisors and co-workers when I return, I am going to tell them before my start day. I hate the idea of being sneaky and since they cannot fire me, I don't see why not.

meggyski · December 2013

Regarding FMLA, the time period you must work before you qualify varies from state to state. The federal rule is 12 months, as others have posted, but some states have shorter work requirements. For example, in WA state (where I live) the threshold is 1,260 hours (which translates to 32 weeks or 6 months of 40-hour weeks) to qualify for FMLA. You might want to check to see if your state has its own FMLA rules.

111emd · December 2013

funnibunni80 said:

I wouldn't tell til 12 weeks, unless you develop some sort of problem. For example, I got really sick, and was ordered onto the couch for a week. Had I been working (I'm a SAHM) I would have told then.

FYI, I didn't find out I was pregnant til 8 weeks, so no one is going to do math and figure out "Hey! You knew before Christmas? Why didn't you say?" Not saying to lie about it, but it would be unprofessional to ask how long you have known, other than a legit squeee "OH! When did you find out??? How exciting!!!"

GL to you!

Thank You!

I am actually a teeny bit worried that my morning sickness will force me to tell them sooner. I've been so sick and I look like crap + no energy. I think they will know something is up. Also, I already have to ask for a day off on my second week to get my first U/S.

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