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Stabby Saturday

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Re: Stabby Saturday

  • elsa1688elsa1688 member
    I'm stabby my older sister relapsed last night after years of being sober and cancelled our plans today. She is the only family I have close by and I was really hoping to spend time with her before I leave Monday. Also, she relapsed! So I'm worried and stressed and know that I can't really do anything about the situation.
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  • whoberrywhoberry member
    Seems like there is a venting post every day of the week.  Do we have any regularly scheduled posts for things we are thankful or happy about?  I guess my vent is that I'm tired of reading a bunch of b*tching all the time.  Of course I can skip over them when I'm not in the mood but it seems like I miss a lot of stuff if I don't read them.

     

    IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.
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  • rainbowdashhrainbowdashh member
    My MIL has been making me stabby. She's a wonderful woman, she really is. But she places so much importance on gifts during Christmas. My family is the exact opposite and it drives me crazy that I have to stress about what to buy everyone on my husband's side of the family. I feel like I'm judged based on my gift!

    I was having trouble thinking of something for MIL, so I asked for ideas. She said "a family portrait, but it's probably too late for that". Well why didn't you tell me that when I asked at the beginning of the month instead of telling me 4 days before Christmas?!

    It's silly, really. I just do not like feeling pressured to have the perfect gift for everyone.
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  • Riverbabe701Riverbabe701 member
    @katekat8721
    I'm upset they poked fun at my eating and weight..then pretended we aren't pregnant so my eating habits were irrational. She was forced into the room to stand there while the Skype was going on.

    I understand it's hard for her, I just don't feel like she should be mad at her brother or me. We tried for a while over couple years ago, then took a break, and began trying at the beginning of the summer (which is nothing compared to what others have had to deal with, that's not what I'm trying to say AT ALL, I just don't want it to come across that it just happened in a snap for us) It's been a loooong rough road with her for a long time in terms of her getting along with others in the family and causing riffs.

    And his family has never reached out to us, ever, until we became pregnant. So yea that's difficult to deal with.

    I'm well aware it's not all about me, thanks for understanding where I may be coming from.
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  • vixeyvixey member
    curlylocks3 said:
    I don't like that people are using the sticky "name and sex" thread to say "we don't know what we're having yet...but here's a list of 15 boy and girl names we're thinking about."  I think you should wait to post until you know what you're having and have made a decision.


    So you're saying I need to wait until May or June to decide on names? Also, not everyone will find out yet. At most people are 17 weeks along and even that is early to find out, but it's not unreasonable that those due later in the month want to partiipate too. Lastly, that thread is also geared for name discussions, so those people might just want feedback. What really made me stabby is the person who commented on the sticky thread that she had made her own new thread. Ok we get it, you're a special snowflake!
    I just thought the point of the thread was to announce what you're having (if you're finding out) and what name you've picked.  I'm not due until the very end of June, so I'm not finding out sex any time soon either.
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  • tbmadeamistaketbmadeamistake member
    I'm stabby at myself.  I'm so tired by late afternoon that I can't deal with C (19 months) and her tired/whining/hungriness.  DH has to step in and do a lot.  To be fair, she does crawl all over me all the time, and shouts in my face constantly while telling stories.  DH even commented that she's more violent with me than she is with him. It's exhausting.  I feel bad that I DH has to help so much (though he should!) and that I lose my patience so easily. 

    Also slightly stabby at my beautiful daughter who continually uses mommy's newly giant and very sore boobs and hand holds/push off points as she crawls all over that.  That shit fucking hurts, no you a touch!!

    Married DH 7/30/11

    CSC arrived 5/7/12 

    CHC arrived 6/2/14

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  • MrsCase1MrsCase1 member
    SashaPervaya said:
    I'm stabby because I live in Ukraine.  And I can't explain any of the things that make me feel stabby because I'm a diplomat (and that wouldn't be very diplomatic).  And THAT???  That also makes me stabby.
    @sashapervaya my DH's family is from Ukraine. Very dangerous place to be right now. I hope you can stay safe!
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  • whoberrywhoberry member
    BrightEyes112 said:
    Seems like there is a venting post every day of the week.  Do we have any regularly scheduled posts for things we are thankful or happy about?  I guess my vent is that I'm tired of reading a bunch of b*tching all the time.  Of course I can skip over them when I'm not in the mood but it seems like I miss a lot of stuff if I don't read them.
    No one is stopping you from making your own thread. The best ones are where you share something awesome or exciting and ask everyone else to share theirs. Then it's not just a post of you being an aw. (Speaking about people in general, not you)
    I was more curious if there were any regularly scheduled happy threads, like Thankful Thursday, etc.  I would be glad to post a regular one myself but I can't always get on here.  

     

    IF, 5 losses, 1 son, 1 on the way.
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  • nunzchucksnunzchucks member
    vixey said:
    c_a_mag@hotmail.com said:
    Some of us are new to TB and legit didn't know that there were specific recurring posts about specific issues. I think posting a heads up is a nice way of correcting bx vs an outright shaming for being new/not knowing.
    That's why we suggest lurking and getting a vibe for boards before jumping in head first.  Also, you might want to consider starting a new account with a different username.  You set yourself up for a lot of spam mail when your username = your email.

    The good news is that there is a blog in one of the sticky threads with a board FAQ that gives an overview of pretty much all of the recurring posts. So really, I say there is no excuse for not knowing.
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  • Laurelyn2012Laurelyn2012 member
    Mommy23Munchkins said:

    I feel less stabby about my birthday because DH is super excited for it. Hes dying of anticipation because he brought my gifts home all wrapped from his sisters house and now hes excited for tomorrow. Can't be a birthday scrooge when DH is excited. Lol. Hes too friggin awesome and always makes a big fuss over holidays for me and the kids lol and an even bigger fuss over birthdays lol. So no more stabby about my birthday. Stabbies remain about clutter posts. :)

    @Laurelyn2012 ; step on her toes. That ought to teach her about personal space :)

    I may have kicked her a few times and she still didn't get the hint. Oh well I survived!

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  • lest12lest12 member
    elsa1688 said:

    I'm stabby my older sister relapsed last night after years of being sober and cancelled our plans today. She is the only family I have close by and I was really hoping to spend time with her before I leave Monday. Also, she relapsed! So I'm worried and stressed and know that I can't really do anything about the situation.

    @elsa1688 - I'm sorry you are going through that. I've been there and it sucks, no way around it. I hope she gets herself together soon.

     

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  • chaysefaithchaysefaith member
    edited December 2013
    I'm STILL stabby at bf. He lost his keys. He has the only key to the house since my daughter lost my key. And he acts like it's my fault. I was busy putting away groceries while he was off losing his keys. I looked everywhere for them. I tried to help. It's not my fault you lost your shit. Now go buy a new lock for our door.
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  • elsa1688elsa1688 member
    Thanks @lest12. It totally sucks.
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  • lest12lest12 member
    elsa1688 said:

    Thanks @lest12. It totally sucks.

    @elsa1688 - I know. Feel free to msg me if you ever need to talk/vent/cry.

     

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  • SaraT717SaraT717 member
    @mschware I'm so glad you said this I have been thinking this myself.
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  • elsa1688elsa1688 member
    lest12 said:

    elsa1688 said:

    Thanks @lest12. It totally sucks.

    @elsa1688 - I know. Feel free to msg me if you ever need to talk/vent/cry.

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  • coffee-saurcoffee-saur member
    I'm stabby at my in-laws and sister and her hb.. Tonight we were together for a nephews b-day and HB was telling a story when his lil sister (who is a teenager, un married, the youngest, spoiled brat and the rudest person I've ever known) says well SHE heard the story and that was NOT what happened! I get VERY tired of her bs and I pointed out (I thought I said it nicely) that maybe it was a different story, and she very obviously ROLLED her eyes at me and said NO it was the same story! I was shocked how rude she was and said well I'm sure you'd know... And this behavior is NORMAL for her! Every time we r together with the fam she is rude to me and my HB and mean to my kids and I HATE IT!!! But if ANYTHING EVER gets said she goes and cries to Dad-in-law and he TOTALLY takes her side and tells her that there was nothing wrong with what she did/said and it was the other peoples fault and everyone else is just being mean.

    Then on my side of the family, my dad left my mom quite a few years ago so she lives alone and we are the only fam that lives anywhere near her (closest sibling is a 6 hr drive away). My mom has had several 'mini-strokes' and a couple serious ones and lately has had a seizure. While physically almost nothing was affected (a miracle I know) her memory and other things like her logic and coping skills have been affected. So needless to say she gets lonely and needs help with some things around her place at times and we TRY and do our best! But with 2 kiddos, another due in June, and our own place we just CAN'T get everything done! So my sis (who lives 6 hrs away) basically NEVER comes out! They have a lil 9 month old who mom misses A LOT! They came for 3 days at Thanksgiving, and now not at all for Christmas! This last summer they were here for 1 week! And she gets mad at ME for thinking that they should do more for mom!

    I've been so stressed lately and I've felt WAY worse for this pregnancy so I'm pry a bit on the stabby side
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    DD 3/15/12
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    #4 Due 10/26/18!
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  • coffee-saurcoffee-saur member
    Eek that was loong!
    DS 6/6/10
    DD 3/15/12
    DD 6/3/14
    #4 Due 10/26/18!
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  • colllydoncolllydon member
    @elsa1688 my sister is also a recovering/not so recovering addict depending on the month. If you ever want to talk I know exactly what your going through. >:D< Hugs
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  • chaysefaithchaysefaith member
    Deems83 said:
    This will prob be an ill received message but what makes me "stabby" are all the rules and judgements passed in this message board. I mean really I have seen people be criticized for not having a signature or avatar and now because they are not posting in specific threads??? Really it's a pregnancy message board. Sorry but I just find it silly that something that was created for people to share their happiness still comes along with judgement and criticism. If you don't like the "aw" or other threads created by people that maybe don't come on here enough to know there is a specific thread created for their topic then skip over it. As I said before I'm sure I will get a lot of backlash for this, sorry, I just felt bad for the people being picked on.


    Just to clarify, people are not being criticized for not having a profile pic, it REALLY does help to get to know other posters.  Without a profile pic you're unrecognizable and you may not get as much feedback as you would if you made an attempt to stand out.  For me, I'm almost always mobile so all I see are profile pics.  If I open a thread and the first comment is from someone I don't recognize I question whether it's even worth my time to respond because so many people come and post once and never come back.  Not saying that someone with a pic can't do the same thing, just saying if you have a pic everyone recognizes you when if you're not a fly by poster.
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  • deepoceanmamadeepoceanmama member
    My response to folks who are concerned about rules:

    Really, we're not trying to make lots of rules and control everyone. Like you said, we all have limited amounts of time on tb, and I know that I DO miss important threads because of redundant ones. What we're trying to do is keep the board organized. No one is asking you not to post your questions or exciting announcements, we just want them to be organized so that 1) they're easy to find and answer and 2) they take up less space on the main page of the board.

    I think about it like the difference between the way my H and I deal with the mail. When I get it, I carefully sort through it, toss the junk, and put bills that need paid/other important mail in a pile by the checkbook. DH just throws all the mail in a jumbled pile on the dining room table. As a result, our water almost got turned off this month because we lost the bill. It's just easier to address everything if it's organized.

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    "And all the house elves came to help, and THAT was the day Voldemort was defeated!"

    Zoe Johannah, born 6/3/2014 

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  • diagonalleydiagonalley member
    mschware said:

    Not trying to start a war, and I'm not pointing out ANYONE (I don't even know anyone on here that close really), but I've been stabby at how cliquey/filled with rules our bump month has become! I love the June '14 group... Ever since I was 6 weeks preggo this site and you ladies have helped calm me down and also give me a nice laugh when no one else could! Buuuut, many people have different opinions and use this site less frequently than others and I feel like this should be a place where us women can come and state our excitement/worries/complaints whenever and however they want to without being criticized for it! You can skip over it or chose not to respond! (except if they're just being a total bitch... That's different) we are all different age groups, have different schedules, different amounts of time we spend on the bump and our knowledge of what has been posted...and I just feel like this shouldn't become a place with too many rules. We're all women becoming mothers and growing amazing babies... We gotta love each other and help where we can!

    I totally understand your argument because I felt this way when I first joined, too. However, now that I have regularly been here since the end of September I totally get why more organization is needed. I don't understand what is so difficult about either looking for the answer to your question before asking it or participating in a group thread. The boards are definitely clogged with repeat topics several times a day and for those who don't bump often that can be extremely frustrating because you might miss something of interest. Sure you can choose not to open threads that you are not interested in, but when that becomes a significant amount of threads because every random person needs to start their own it is annoying. If you take the time to create an account and want to be part of this community the least you could do is figure it out first before posting a question someone else did literally hours before.
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  • mschwaremschware member
    Yeah I def agree with that part. I think everyone should use the search option if they have questions, cause you're right things do get repeated. I just didn't understand why some people were getting upset about other excitement posts when you can scroll to the next page and see other posts with less bumps too, that's all. & I like the organization as well! I have learned a lot about posting and where to post it and where to look or things since I've been here.. I just feel bad cause of the others haven't
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  • verydisgruntledpelican0091verydisgruntledpelican0091 member
    deepoceanmama said:

    My response to folks who are concerned about rules:

    Really, we're not trying to make lots of rules and control everyone. Like you said, we all have limited amounts of time on tb, and I know that I DO miss important threads because of redundant ones. What we're trying to do is keep the board organized. No one is asking you not to post your questions or exciting announcements, we just want them to be organized so that 1) they're easy to find and answer and 2) they take up less space on the main page of the board.

    I think about it like the difference between the way my H and I deal with the mail. When I get it, I carefully sort through it, toss the junk, and put bills that need paid/other important mail in a pile by the checkbook. DH just throws all the mail in a jumbled pile on the dining room table. As a result, our water almost got turned off this month because we lost the bill. It's just easier to address everything if it's organized.

    I hope this doesn't come out wrong but is their somewhere where these rules/requests are written? I posted about how I didn't like a snarky comment which I should have just contacted the person, anyways I'm just wondering if maybe someone can post the rules so I know if I choose to post a question again :).
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  • verydisgruntledpelican0091verydisgruntledpelican0091 member
    BrightEyes112 said:


    Thatkelsgirl said:

    deepoceanmama said:

    My response to folks who are concerned about rules:

    Really, we're not trying to make lots of rules and control everyone. Like you said, we all have limited amounts of time on tb, and I know that I DO miss important threads because of redundant ones. What we're trying to do is keep the board organized. No one is asking you not to post your questions or exciting announcements, we just want them to be organized so that 1) they're easy to find and answer and 2) they take up less space on the main page of the board.

    I think about it like the difference between the way my H and I deal with the mail. When I get it, I carefully sort through it, toss the junk, and put bills that need paid/other important mail in a pile by the checkbook. DH just throws all the mail in a jumbled pile on the dining room table. As a result, our water almost got turned off this month because we lost the bill. It's just easier to address everything if it's organized.

    I hope this doesn't come out wrong but is their somewhere where these rules/requests are written? I posted about how I didn't like a snarky comment which I should have just contacted the person, anyways I'm just wondering if maybe someone can post the rules so I know if I choose to post a question again :).

    It comes from lurking and spending time looking around the board, seeing what other people are doing, and getting a sense of the community. Kind of like unwritten social rules.


    Ok :) I will take a better look around. Thank you. I just wasn't sure if someone had posted something that I missed just stating kinda like guidelines.
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  • Read247Read247 member
    edited December 2013
    @Thatkelsgirl - there is a "New here? Check out the blog" which will explain abbreviations, common pregnancy symptoms, signatures, sticky threads, daily checking etc. If you look at "Flagging guidelines" it addresses flagging and "callouts" (which is a no no). You can also look at thebump.com and look under "community rules" which explains the dos and don'ts of using the forum.
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  • verydisgruntledpelican0091verydisgruntledpelican0091 member
    Read247 said:

    @Thatkelsgirl - there is a "New here? Check out the blog" which will explain abbreviations, common pregnancy symptoms, signatures, sticky threads, daily checking etc. If you look at "Flagging guidelines" it addresses flagging and "callouts" (which is a no no). You can also look at thebump.com and look under "community rules" which explains the dos and don'ts of using the forum.

    Perfect. Thank you ! I'm gonna make
    Notes lol
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