Question for moms of little boys

ashleywiz · December 2013

peanutmuse said:

squeakbeth said:

Wow. I guess I should save mine for UO. I mean, to each their own and I don't see anything necessarily harmful in either direction, but I think some people are way over thinking this.

@squeakbeth -- It's interesting that you said that other people are overthinking this, yet your response (and explanation of your choice) is one of the longest ones here...

Going off that--- so wiener is OK in your book, but vagina isn't? Definitely am not following that one. At least vagina is a technical term for part of a woman's genitalia.

peanutmuse · December 2013

@squeakbeth -- I also wanted to add that your comparison of umbilicus vs. belly button is a little over the top and (*ahem*) overthinking it. We don't say "phalanges" when referring to fingers or "femurs" when we're referring to our thighs, and so on -- even though those are the more technically accurate terms.

peanutmuse · December 2013

ashleywiz said:

peanutmuse said:

squeakbeth said:

Wow. I guess I should save mine for UO. I mean, to each their own and I don't see anything necessarily harmful in either direction, but I think some people are way over thinking this.

@squeakbeth -- It's interesting that you said that other people are overthinking this, yet your response (and explanation of your choice) is one of the longest ones here...

Going off that--- so wiener is OK in your book, but vagina isn't? Definitely am not following that one. At least vagina is a technical term for part of a woman's genitalia.

I was also going to mention that a grown man calling his penis his "wiener" seems really strange and childish. I'd have a hard time taking a man seriously if he used that term.

ashleywiz · December 2013

@peanutmuse --completely not related to this post at all- but you have me officially wishing for 2 things when I just creeped on your blog: cooler weather and bigger space so I could be crafty. Those scarves are to die for, and if I didn't still sweat even when in the AC, I'd wear one just out of spite, because it just is NOT Christmastime when its 80 degrees outside. & the blankets are outrageously adorable.

MiaMyPuggle · December 2013

Penis.
He thanked me for blowing his penis yesterday....ughhhh. He had a sore underneath bc of the pampers diapers that he always breaks out from, so I gently used a wipe and blew air on it so it is dry before I put a new diaper on and slapped some a&d on there. Thank God we weren't in public. Geez!

peanutmuse · December 2013

mcg1119 said:

ashleywiz said:
Going off that--- so wiener is OK in your book, but vagina isn't? Definitely am not following that one. At least vagina is a technical term for part of a woman's genitalia.

I think her point with this, is that unless someone is looking at a woman with a speculum, they are unlikely to see her vagina, which is the inner part. They can see her labia, or her vulva....but yes, that is overthinking it.

... yet another reason why it's strange that she said that other people are overthinking it.

ashleywiz · December 2013

peanutmuse said:

mcg1119 said:

ashleywiz said:
Going off that--- so wiener is OK in your book, but vagina isn't? Definitely am not following that one. At least vagina is a technical term for part of a woman's genitalia.

I think her point with this, is that unless someone is looking at a woman with a speculum, they are unlikely to see her vagina, which is the inner part. They can see her labia, or her vulva....but yes, that is overthinking it.

... yet another reason why it's strange that she said that other people are overthinking it.

Exactly.

ashleywiz · December 2013

For a little ha-ha-- my oh so charming husband just said, "They sell wieners at the grocery store, they don't sell vaginas". I laughed pretty good at that one.

squeakbeth · December 2013

mcg1119 said:

ashleywiz said:

Going off that--- so wiener is OK in your book, but vagina isn't? Definitely am not following that one. At least vagina is a technical term for part of a woman's genitalia.

I think her point with this, is that unless someone is looking at a woman with a speculum, they are unlikely to see her vagina, which is the inner part. They can see her labia, or her vulva....but yes, that is overthinking it.

Yes, that is what I was getting at. Thanks for that.

And, I will try to be extra precise with my words so I am better understood (though I don't think it was just impossible to glean any sort of meaning out of my first post). I mean that some people are overthinking the potential ramifications of a simple word choice on their child's entire mental health. I personally wouldn't have chosen "wiener" as my first choice to describe my son's genitals, but I figure that is my husband's to choose. Maybe it is a STM thing, but there are so many times when you have to choose your battles or you will go insane. Sometimes you have to realize when something is not that big of a deal or is a phase, and just move on. Silly words don't last forever.

Even having said all of that, I said to each their own. I am not a regular, but no reason to go on the offense about a very benign comment of mine.

squeakbeth · December 2013

peanutmuse said:
@squeakbeth -- I also wanted to add that your comparison of umbilicus vs. belly button is a little over the top and (*ahem*) overthinking it. We don't say "phalanges" when referring to fingers or "femurs" when we're referring to our thighs, and so on -- even though those are the more technically accurate terms.

My example was over the top, but was at least apples to apples. Yours is apples to oranges. No, no one would refer to their thigh as a femur because that would refer to the bone inside. Highly inaccurate and incorrect.

Strunella · December 2013

We use penis. And boy, does DS like talking about it! "Mommy, see your penis?" "I LOVE my penis!" "My penis is getting bigger and bigger!" The love affair starts early. Guess I'd better get used to it, as I'll soon be living with three penises!

peanutmuse · December 2013

squeakbeth said:

@squeakbeth -- I also wanted to add that your comparison of umbilicus vs. belly button is a little over the top and (*ahem*) overthinking it. We don't say "phalanges" when referring to fingers or "femurs" when we're referring to our thighs, and so on -- even though those are the more technically accurate terms.
My example was over the top, but was at least apples to apples. Yours is apples to oranges. No, no one would refer to their thigh as a femur because that would refer to the bone inside. Highly inaccurate and incorrect.

@squeakbeth, my whole point was that the person who was overthinking all of this the most is actually you. Which you continue to prove. I don't care what you decide to call your son's penis, and I don't understand why you would care what others have decided. But to justify why you are going to call it a wiener -- namely, because you don't call a belly button an umbilicus -- well, that's just strange, my dear. Especially since you accused others of overthinking it.

Bottom line, you can call it whatever you want to. Why do you care what others choose to do? And why in the world would it take you four paragraphs to describe your choice, yet you accuse others of overthinking it? That's really quite comical, actually.

katie-lynn3313 · December 2013

Funny this post came up today. My son is 22 months old and after bath today was sitting naked and kept pointing to his penis calling it bum- almost like a question. I just told him that was his penis. He is always in such awe of it whenever the diaper comes off.

squeakbeth · December 2013

peanutmuse said:

squeakbeth said:

peanutmuse said:
@squeakbeth -- I also wanted to add that your comparison of umbilicus vs. belly button is a little over the top and (*ahem*) overthinking it. We don't say "phalanges" when referring to fingers or "femurs" when we're referring to our thighs, and so on -- even though those are the more technically accurate terms.
My example was over the top, but was at least apples to apples. Yours is apples to oranges. No, no one would refer to their thigh as a femur because that would refer to the bone inside. Highly inaccurate and incorrect.

@squeakbeth, my whole point was that the person who was overthinking all of this the most is actually you. Which you continue to prove. I don't care what you decide to call your son's penis, and I don't understand why you would care what others have decided. But to justify why you are going to call it a wiener -- namely, because you don't call a belly button an umbilicus -- well, that's just strange, my dear. Especially since you accused others of overthinking it.

Bottom line, you can call it whatever you want to. Why do you care what others choose to do? And why in the world would it take you four paragraphs to describe your choice, yet you accuse others of overthinking it? That's really quite comical, actually.

I get the impression you just want something to pounce on. I don't mind, but I find THAT strange, my dear. I am mobile bumping, so I overcompensated on spacing to avoid the mobileblockoftext that has been criticized on this board before. I did not write 4 full paragraphs composed of at least 3 sentences a piece. However, since I was late to the thread and found it interesting, I chose to address the reasons PPs had made their word choice. That is what people do as part of a discussion.

I never criticized or jumped on anyone. The majority of the time, people have different opinions on this board, so my viewpoint is covered and I stay out of the conversation. This thread had exactly one opinion, restated and expounded upon. So, I chose to throw out some food for thought. I never said anything about others' choices. Don't make something out of nothing.

For not caring about what my family has chosen to do, several people - you mainly - have spent a ton of energy and space debating it. This is quite boring, really.

salsamommy · December 2013

@peanutmuse said:

ashleywiz said:

peanutmuse said:

squeakbeth said:

Wow. I guess I should save mine for UO. I mean, to each their own and I don't see anything necessarily harmful in either direction, but I think some people are way over thinking this.

@squeakbeth -- It's interesting that you said that other people are overthinking this, yet your response (and explanation of your choice) is one of the longest ones here...

Going off that--- so wiener is OK in your book, but vagina isn't? Definitely am not following that one. At least vagina is a technical term for part of a woman's genitalia.

I was also going to mention that a grown man calling his penis his "wiener" seems really strange and childish. I'd have a hard time taking a man seriously if he used that term.

This! XH used to call it a "willy" and it would drive me crazy! I still cringe thinking about him saying that!

peanutmuse · December 2013

@squeakbeth, I wanted to point something out to you. You'll notice I've completely left out the discussion on the term "vagina" in all of my posts. I think that's a trickier one than penis, and I would have had a more complicated answer for that one. If the original poster had posed the question about vaginas, your "umbilicus" argument would have a place.

That being said -- the fact of the matter is that a penis IS a penis. It's not a wiener, it's not a ding-a-ling (or whatever the other one was), etc. And there are good, valid reasons to call it a penis, which were mentioned here as part of the discussion. There aren't "good" reasons to call it a wiener. I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying that it's benign -- it doesn't cause harm, but it doesn't have any benefits either.

You say that you weren't critical, but telling people they are overthinking something is actually a critical statement. I mean, if it wasn't mean to be critical, what was the purpose of saying it?

squeakbeth · December 2013

peanutmuse said:
@squeakbeth,

You say that you weren't critical, but telling people they are overthinking something is actually a critical statement. I mean, if it wasn't mean to be critical, what was the purpose of saying it?

I'm not going to repeat myself on the rest or beat a dead horse, but I do want to make it clear that I was not being critical. Using the word overthinking only means there is a simpler way to approach something, not that "oh my goodness anyone who has ever spent any amount of time thinking about this is completely nuts and I judge them!! Judge judge judge!"

I meant it more as advice. We are so indescribably hard on ourselves as moms to get/say/teach everything perfectly. Some things just can be lower on your list of priorities and your kids will be just fine. Kids are silly and have imaginary friends and made up words...and then it is over. No big deal. Focus on teaching them bigger lessons to care about others and don't worry about policing words that aren't distinctly harmful.

That being said, if this is your major cause, good deal. Move it up on your list. You make the decisions for your family. Just don't sweat the small stuff when the time comes and you will enjoy life a lot more.

peanutmuse · December 2013

squeakbeth said:

We are so indescribably hard on ourselves as moms to get/say/teach everything perfectly. Some things just can be lower on your list of priorities and your kids will be just fine.

@squeakbeth, I think you have misread me in this thread, but that's ok. You don't really know me yet. The reason why I say that is because if you look back on what I said throughout this thread, you'll see that we actually have similar points of view, although they manifest themselves differently. One of the things that I mentioned is that if your kid starts saying something other than "penis," you shouldn't automatically jump to the conclusion that he is being molested.

And I know that as much as I might want him to call it a penis, chances are it will end up as something else. That part really doesn't bother me. I actually agree that it's not a big deal. But to someone who has experienced sexual abuse first hand (not me, I'm just saying that you don't necessarily know your audience), telling them that they are overthinking it is offensive.

AnnikaD20 · December 2013

PENIS !!!

Cause I'm 12 years old, and you win by yelling penis the loudest.

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