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Leaving 19 month old for first time

casester1015casester1015 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
I just re-joined my gym since my daughter is old enough for child care. I went last week and left her for a half hour and it seemed to go well.  I tired leaving her again today and she freaked out and wouldn't stop crying. The child care provider there told me to leave her and she would calm down, but after 10 mins I had to come back to take her out.  My daughter isn't a big crier in everyday life.  Last week was the first time I ever left her and today was only the second time.  Does anyone have ideas as to how I can get her to feel more comfortable in the child care center?
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Re: Leaving 19 month old for first time

  • jnnfrrose6jnnfrrose6 member
    You've never left her with a sitter in 19 months?

    At this point, you're just going to have to let her learn that it's ok for you to leave her for some time apart.  It's hard, but she'll figure it out.  DS has been in DC since he was 3 months old, so we haven't had this issue, but he has started to get upset when I leave him now in the mornings.  It's hard, but they will get over it.
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  • casester1015casester1015 member
    The only person she's been left with is my husband and that's rare. I take her with me wherever I go. Do you let your kids take some sort of security blanket or stuffed animal with them?
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  • ashiscuteashiscute member
    Wow.  Don't you ever get haircuts or go to the dentist without her or anything?  I SAH too but my kids get alone time with their grandparents and a couple aunts and obviously DH.  I think it's good for everyone to get some apart time.  I did not like leaving my kids at first but it gets easier for both you.  I would keep practicing with the gym daycare and maybe a family member she is close to.  
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  • kalettekalette member
    Coming from someone who watches kids in the church nursery, I wouldn't send a security object along. They tend to cause more issues imo.. Other kids will try to take it to play with and your DD probably isn't going to be cool with that. There's also a good chance that if she sets it down and forgets about it, you'll forget about it too and it will be lost.

    I would try going in with her a few times just to hang out if they will let you. Make it fun and then once she's comfortable going there, you can start dropping her off.

    My DD has been going to ECFE classes with me since she was 5 months old. One of the classes is 2 hours long, the first hour we spend together, playing, painting, in the gym area, and doing story/music time. The second half the kids go back to the play room with the teachers, have a snack and then play some more, but the moms get to go to "mommy hour" (or parents hour if you want to be PC, but there aren't any dad's in ours) and have coffee or cocoa and chat about parenting or whatever course the conversation takes. It's pretty awesome. In the last few months however DD has started to get a little bit of separation anxiety when I leave at snack time, but it's nearly always O.K. because she is familiar with the environment, the other kids and the teachers.

    I think it will just take time.
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  • g8trkimg8trkim member
    I wouldn't send a security blanket to the gym daycare. Other kids will pick it up and you may never see it again. Plus if she's that upset it probably won't help. And there's also the germ factor. My son went to daycare at 4 months but he still hated the gym daycare. It was just different I guess. I tried 4 or 5 times and he kept screaming and they kept pulling me out of class. It sucked so I just started going on days DH was home so I didn't have to take him. The gym did tell me that usually kids get used to it after a few visits so good luck.




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  • janinekrausejaninekrause member

    I know a lot of kids who don't like the gym daycares, who are used to being left alone. Really don't know why .Its funny but my kids have been in daycare and left with grandparents, babysitters, aunts, uncles etc since they were under 2 months but I never thought of taking them to the gym. Mine isn't warm and fuzzy though which is probably why.

    Regardless, it takes time and the more stressed you get the worse it will be. I would keep doing it and start leaving her with other people. It isn't healthy for you or her to be together 100% of the time.

     

    And not sure what "now that she is old enough for childcare" means. 17 months? They are always old enough in my opinion.

     

     

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  • janinekrausejaninekrause member
    Ooops. I didn't mean left alone- I meant left with a caregiver other than parent!
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  • casester1015casester1015 member
    janinekrause said:
    And not sure what "now that she is old enough for childcare" means. 17 months? They are always old enough in my opinion.

     

     

    The gym has a minimum age of 18 months before you can use their child care
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  • janineuvajanineuva member
    casester1015 said:
    janinekrause said:
    And not sure what "now that she is old enough for childcare" means. 17 months? They are always old enough in my opinion.

     

     

    The gym has a minimum age of 18 months before you can use their child care
    Sorry! Thought you meant to leave her in general. good luck and keep doing it- it will get easier I promise.
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