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Baby Shower - Okay to put "no clothes please!"?

mschaub2mschaub2 member
in June 2014 Moms
Hi everybody - so I already have a few baby showers planned for the spring, and I got to thinking that I'd really prefer to buy most of my child's own clothes, not receive them as gifts, as I'm VERY picky.  I also will be cloth diapering, so I don't want to receive 10 packages of huggies I won't use - if I use disposables I want to use 7th generation or honest brand.  What are your thoughts on adding to the back "no clothes please, and mom is cloth diapering, so bring 1 bumgenius cloth diaper if you wish!"  

I wouldn't be at all offended to receive this, but I wanted to hear some more thoughts!  
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Re: Baby Shower - Okay to put "no clothes please!"?

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  • Kamiegrace1Kamiegrace1 member
    MNOpea said:

    I think it's tacky. You shouldn't try to dictate what people gift to you. You can always return anything you don't want.

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  • diagonalleydiagonalley member
    Definitely tacky considering you shouldn't really have anything to do with the planning of your shower.  People will give you what they want to give you regardless of what you register for.  If you don't want it, take it back to a store that sells it and get store credit.
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  • MississippiCatfishMississippiCatfish member
    I understand why you want to do it, but I agree: tacky and rude. Both on the clothes and cloth diapering. I registered at cottonbabies.com and that was included somewhere on the invitation I think, so anyone who cared enough to look at registries knew I was CDing. I didn't receive any disposables (but would have appreciated them, knowing that most people don't consider that you might not use them.)
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  • rainbowdashhrainbowdashh member
    I would be pretty annoyed if I received an invitation like that.
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  • amackattackamackattack member
    Definitely just be happy for any clothes you receive, very lucky to be having a shower! I dont think there's anything wrong with specifying you are using cloth diapers vs disposable, but I wouldn't specify a brand.
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  • Pepper6Pepper6 member
    Ditto PPs.  The only mention of gifts should be what you register for.  So if you don't want clothes, don't register for clothes.  I guarantee people will buy clothes anyways, you can keep what you want and exchange/donate anything else.

    As for the diapers, most people will probably understand that if you are registered for cloth diapers, and not any disposables, that they shouldn't buy them.  Again, if they do, you can exchange/donate them.  

    The only other way to politely state this is to let the hosts know and have them pass on the information, but ONLY IF people ask.  It would be rude for the host to say this to people without prompt.
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  • nunzchucksnunzchucks member
    It doesn't end to be said again, but clothes and diapers can be returned as long as they aren't open. Just smile and say thanks :)
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  • lucreciaclucreciac member
    I hate to repeat, but tacky and rude. Return what you don't want.
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  • Savvy122Savvy122 member
    I agree with everyone else.  Your guests are going to take their own time and money to select gifts for you - be grateful for whatever you get.  Don't dictate what they can or cannot buy for you.  If you end up with items you don't like and/or don't want, you can always return or donate them.

    I wouldn't side-eye a note on the registry that says "We are cloth diapering!" - but I certainly wouldn't put anything in/on the invitation about gifts.

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  • deepoceanmamadeepoceanmama member
    I wouldn't do it either. You can always return clothes that aren't your style.

    I agree with PP, BTW--if you register for cloth diapers and cloth diaper supplies, people will get the hint that you're not using disposables. But, you could consider talking with your shower host (depending on how close you are) and doing something like an "eco-friendly" shower or a "green" shower theme. Not sure if that would help much, but it might provide an opportunity for you to make it clear you're cloth diapering.

    Is it a big deal to get a few boxes of huggies? Best case, you return them to Target or wherever for the money and buy something you need. Worst case, you re-gift to someone who ISN'T cloth diapering at the next shower you're invited to, or you donate them to a local charity. I mean, that's really not so bad.

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  • fsumomfsumom member
    No, it's tacky.
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  • babygabe614babygabe614 member
    Ditto all the PP's. Tacky and rude. Just return anything you don't want or like.

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  • MrsAMB07MrsAMB07 member
    I agree with everyone. You're going to get clothes, because it's a baby shower. You're going to get gifts that are not your style and you may wonder what the giver was thinking. It's almost inevitable. Be gracious, say thank you, and return what you can if you need to. Some things you won't be able to return and that's just how it goes, so donating is a great option to pass along to someone in need.
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  • wtfisupwtfisup member
    I think this really varies with crowds. With family, work, etc? No way. But with my friends, this would be fine. We'd all rather know what other want/need.

    In the past, showers were about true gifts people picked out. In some places, they still are. In my crowd, we all know the drill: we just want to buy some useful, helpful stuff. I appreciate any extra info and don't enjoy picking baby stuff out.

    So gauge your audience.

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  • MrsRahlMrsRahl member
    Why don't you register for the clothes you do want? I know not everyone follows the registry but a lot do :)
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  • FutureMrsW9FutureMrsW9 member
    I do think it's tacky to dictate what people gift you.  However, a solution would be to not tell people the sex of the baby and that will significantly decrease the amount of clothing that you will get.  You'll still get some, but not nearly as much. 

    As for the diapers, I personally wouldn't be offended if there was a note that you were planning to cloth diaper but apparently others would be offended by this.  I do agree, however, that if you register for cloth people will get the hint that way.

    If you DO want people to actually get you cloth diapers, one thing I've seen recently that I thought was genius....put an extra insert with the invite that says anyone who brings a cloth diaper (or whatever you need as far as supplies goes) will get a ticket to enter a raffle to win a gift basket of some sort.  This needs to be a really really nice gift, though, not some $10 Applebee's gift card.  If the prize is something nice (i.e. gift basket with wine, Yankee candle, spa gift card, etc.) people will want to participate.  I know someone who did this but with regular diapers and I kid you not she didn't have to buy a single package of diapers the entire first year of her son's life.  If people brought multiple sizes they would get one ticket per size they brought.  People love stuff like that!

    I also disagree about the book comment that a PP made - I don't think this is tacky at all, and in fact has become pretty standard on all baby shower invites that I've seen and received recently.  It's a great way to build baby's library!
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  • Susanbeth85Susanbeth85 member
    I am in the same boat: I am also cloth diapering and don't want clothes, either.  I have am not finding out the sex of my baby, as I have found people tend to not buy clothes if they don't know if it's a boy or a girl.  I also have NO clothes on the registry.  As a FTM, I wasn't aware of how tacky it would be to specify on the invite.  Instead, I plan on returning or donating anything I don't want.  Not ideal, but is is hard to dictate what people buy you.
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  • MztwilsonMztwilson member
    This to me comes off as don't be cheap and buy me an outfit buy me something expensive
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  • Neuron79Neuron79 member
    So I shouldn't say no pink, purple or ruffles?? ;)
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  • ElTrain5ElTrain5 member
    I think adding the cloth diaper brand you are using is perfectly acceptable. However, the "no clothes" thing is not cool. People really enjoy buying baby clothes, they get excited and happy looking through all the racks and picking something they think matches the parents personalities. You could register for clothes that you DO want, or just suck it up. But I think the cloth diaper idea is good..but no "please bring a..." just mention "mom will be using bum genius cloth diapers"

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  • ElTrain5ElTrain5 member
    edited December 2013
    mullenem said:

    Nope, don't do it.  It's tacky.  Having no disposables and all cloth diapers on your registry is a pretty big clue that you don't need huggies.  Also, lots of people find the "book instead of a card" thing tacky, and that's only $5-10.  A bumgenius daiper is what, like $20?  You don't need to add that request to the invite or registry, they will see them on your registry and get them if they would like to.

    As for the clothes, the only polite way to ask for clothes is if someone specifically asks the host or you what you really want for baby, then you can tell them "well, we have clothes covered pretty much but some cloth diapers would be really great!"  Otherwise, politely thank people for their generous gifts and if the clothes aren't your style, return if you can find the store (Kohls' takes pretty much anything Carter's back, other brands you can google and likely get at least store credit), take it to a consignment store, or donate it.

    I don't think the book thing is tacky at all. As long as you make it optional. We did this for my sister's shower and everyone loved it. There were people showing up with 5-6 books, and everyone had a story about "My mom used to read this one to me every night!" it was such a nice conversation starter at the tables. Besides, most greeting cards cost between 3-5 dollars anyways, so subbing in a book is a nice way to better spend those dollars.

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  • sdarguschsdargusch member
    So tacky! For what it's worth, I got barely any clothes at my showers.

    I registered for cloth diapers and got one. I also got one small pack of disposables. I think people were uncomfortable with CDs, at least in my circle, which is why they weren't a big hit on my registry. People just got other stuff for me off my registry.
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  • LKHoffaLKHoffa member
    krptcmschfmkr128 said:

    I agree tacky to the "no clothes." I wouldn't mind seeing "mom-to-be intends to cloth diaper, so please no disposable diapers" but I wouldn't specify that they can bring "XYZ cloth" diaper instead.

    Agreed!
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  • LKHoffaLKHoffa member
    Also, it's okay to be 'picky' about the clothes you buy, but be careful not to sound ungrateful and snobby. People often buy clothes because they love you and want to see your baby wear something they have picked out. Isn't making the people that love you feel included in your child's life the most important thing?! (I'm not being judgey- you may not be coming off as ungrateful at all, just another perspective!)
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  • ekcarringtonekcarrington member
    It appears I'm in the minority - but I don't find that tacky at all.  I live in a small apartment and have no desire to get boat loads of crap I don't need at my shower.  I found a registry - SimpleRegistry.com - where you can create registry items - this is kind of like the Honey Fund idea for folks getting married.  I plan to create "funds" for various things rather than asking for a lot of stuff. This is my welcome message:

    "Since we're starting a family in a small city apartment, we need to keep a keen eye on how much stuff we acquire.  Just because we're going minimalist on the baby gear, though, doesn't mean we aren't happy to accept your love and support in other ways!  This registry will allow you to contribute to a number of things that mean much more to us than diaper genies and stuffed animals. (Though we did add a few things we really want!)"

    Then, I have an item for clothes for the first year that reads: No one can predict how big our baby will be or how quickly she'll grow.  To save money and space we'd love to set money aside to buy clothes that fit as they're needed throughout the year.

    ---

    I realize that people will buy us clothes anyway because buying baby clothes is fun - but at least it may reduce the number of extraneous things we get.  This may be an option for you, rather than saying this straight out on the invite.  I'll be including my registry on the invite, so when people go to shop they'll see these messages.  This registry also allows you to add items from anywhere on the internet - so we will add what clothing and other items we do want - newborn onesies, etc... 

    Obviously peopel can spend their money on whatever they want, like someone said, but the whole idea of a registry is so they spend money on what YOU want.
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  • Susanrush13Susanrush13 member
    Someone is going to want to buy you clothes regardless. But I agree with the above, just put on your registry what you're looking for and leave it at that. People are still spending their hard earned money on things for your baby that will be used for only a few months anyway all to help you so you don't have to buy them, so be grateful or return it later.
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  • wtfisupwtfisup member
    Internationalkate said:

    I wouldn't be offended in receiving this invitation - but I have a very high threshold for offense. I also don't particularly care for and/or have "feelings" about baby showers. Wait, why the hell am I even commenting on this? Ignore me.

    Yup. If someone said they wanted cash only, I'd be fine with it.

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  • alliebeecheralliebeecher member
    Well I went to a baby shower once where the invitation had a very specific - and STERNLY worded - warning about which popular themes the parents did NOT want to appear on any gifts.  I raised so many eyebrows at that.  This isn't quite as bad, but it's similar I guess.
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  • Gigi8212Gigi8212 member
    alliebeecher said:

    Well I went to a baby shower once where the invitation had a very specific - and STERNLY worded - warning about which popular themes the parents did NOT want to appear on any gifts.  I raised so many eyebrows at that.  This isn't quite as bad, but it's similar I guess.

    I am the type that would purposely include a card with that character or something along those lines just to be an irritant. I cannot get over the gall of some people!
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  • EmbracingChangeEmbracingChange member
    I'm still stuck on the first sentence.... You have a few showers planned?
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  • EmbracingChangeEmbracingChange member
    This is why I always buy the same thing for each baby shower. A piggy bank I put $15 in and a package of sweet mints with a note explaining why. 
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  • Luna CLuna C member
    EmbracingChange said:
    I'm still stuck on the first sentence.... You have a few showers planned?
    I think that's fairly common, actually -- multiple smaller showers among different social circles. 

    It looks like I'm getting three: The main one is friends and family, and both our offices are doing something. Although in the latter cases, I think it's likely to be "Here's some cake and a gift card we all chipped in on," not a full-fledged shower. 
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  • ktwils2010ktwils2010 member
    Agree with all pp that it is tacky to specify a gift on an invitation BUT wanted to add:
    As a cloth diapering mama (for the past two years) it is not the end of the world to have a few packs of disposables around. There will be situations where you want them. For example - the first week home when you are sleep deprived and can't remember your own name, let alone to do diaper laundry and what the heck your wash routine is supposed to be; traveling; when everyone in the family has a stomach bug (you do not want to be cleaning diapers when you are also puking and running to the bathroom); a stubborn diaper rash pops up or the dreaded yeast monster, etc etc I think you get the idea. People will get the hint that you plan to cloth if you register for cloth, I didn't receive any diapers at my showers for my dd. But had I received a couple packs, that would have worked out okay.


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