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does this happen to anyone else?

lookame3639lookame3639 member
in Blended Families
Every year around what would be our wedding anniversary ex tells me he still loves me, misses me and wants to know if we can hang out/get back together. He has a girlfriend and a child with her, shes also violent and a ticking time bomb. Ex also needs her in the sense that he wont have a ride or a place to stay if he leaves her. Just curious if this happens with others exs...
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Re: does this happen to anyone else?

  • mccall0113mccall0113 member
    Oh hell no
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  • SueBearSueBear member
    Not with me, but I have heard of it happening.  He is looking for a soft place to land, or a back-up.  Or a booty call. 
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  • nurrieumnurrieum member
    No. None of my ex's have done that and Dh's ex's haven't either. I don't think it's unheard of, some people just can't let go. 

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  • SigirSigir member
    Definately not w me! He hates me!

    How do you respond to him?
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  • lookame3639lookame3639 member
    I guess im confused because ive been with FI for over 5 years, hes been with girlfriend for awhile yet he always around the same time every year asks to get back together. I guess hes not happy in his relationship or something...

    I actually dont know how to respond. Sometines I dont answer at all which seems to piss him off so he makes things involving custody difficult, either that or girlfriend seesthe texts he sends and she goes ballistic on me. Some years I try to respond as lightly as possible by telling him were both in relationships and im happy. He usually tells me that hes not going to stay with girlfriend, shes crazy ect but he really likes FI...then later he makes things difficult custody wise and girlfriend goes crazy on me. All I seem to get either way I try to respond I get the same outcome. Custody gets difficult and girlfriend gets crazy.
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  • dannie2011dannie2011 member
    My ex was doing that for awhile. I remind him it was too late, he better knock it off  if he wasn't calling for the kids I didn't want to hear it. He would go nuts call me every name in the books the usual bsc stuff and I'd hang up. 

    But unlike you my ex didn't want anything to do with the kids. So it never interfere with anything. 

    Sorry I don't have any advice to help you, other then hanging up. 

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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    edited December 2013
    I have a friend who goes through that. She has been married for five years, divorced for 8 or 9. Her X went so far as to start dressing like her H is cowboy hat and boots and drive around with a saddle in the back of his truck (her H is kind of a cowboy kinda guy, agriculture degree, college rodeo team, foreman of an ag business; her X is kind if a drugged out thug homie). It was weird watching that go on.

    Eta: He even refused to hand over their son over time unless she had oral sex with him or gave him $200. And then said it was just because he missed her so much when the police arrested him for soliciting sex.
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  • sabrina69barnessabrina69barnes member
    BF and I had a very rough co-parenting relationship. A little over three years ago BF had DH adopt DS. The agreement was that BF and I would communicate by e-mail and I would send pictures every so often. He asked to be a FB friend so he could see more photos and I was fine with it. For the most part it's worked fine. He doesn't comment on anything and we talk through PM's every once in a while. Usually we just talk about DS but sometimes BF gets nostalgic. BF knew about my pregnancies with other children because it's on FB. One the morning of my c-section with DS3 he sent me a very long e-mail about how much he still loves me, made a mistake, and wishes he could get me back. He is now a legal stranger to DS and I only talk to him as a courtesy. I made it pretty clear that if it happened again I wouldn't be willing to communicate with him anymore. We haven't had an issue since
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  • CurlieWhirlieCurlieWhirlie member
    My ex will occasionally hint that he wishes we were still together. He and I are still very close and co-parent well. He is friendly with my boyfriend and my family. I usually take it as a sign that he's unhappy or lonely, I don't think he really means he wants me back, he really just misses being in a relationship. It sounds like your ex may just not know how to express his unhappiness in his current relationship or with his life in general. 

    If it's making you uncomfortable, put the kibosh on that shit!
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  • twister22twister22 member
    Ohhh. Yuck.

    BD has told me on a few occasions that he regrets leaving me and wishes we were still together. Him leaving was the best thing though, and whenever he starts with that nonsense I tell him that us not together is for the best, for everyone involved. 
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    Uh no. Not normal.
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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    XH does this all the time.
    Then when I tell him to stop he gets pissy and is nasty for a week.
    I really wish he would get a girl friend.
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  • nevertunenevertune member
    My ex hasn't been so blunt, but he makes uncomfortable and overly familiar comments that make me cringe. They're very tame compared to what you're going through, but they still make me upset for the rest of the night.
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member
    My XH says stupid shit like this and like ghostice's ex. I ignore it or respond "how lovely. I am sure your girlfriend would love to hear you told me that". And he usually says he was just joking or teasing. Um. Inappropriate asshole. He has stopped for the most part but he finds other ways to obsess about our relationship.
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  • coopsbabycoopsbaby member
    My exH hasn't said anything directly,but every time he and his gf have trouble or are fighting or he's bored or something he starts calling me and chatting, stopping by, getting all nostalgic. Some of his family and friends have told me he was trying to keep me as backup in case he and gf broke up. Um, no. A couple of times he has made excuses to try to go look around in my bedroom, saying he left things in there. Dude, you haven't lived here in years and I switched bedrooms around after. You've never lived in my bedroom. We now make sure dh is here and with me when exH stops by for something, and I leave most of the communication up to the kids so I don't have to deal. It creeps me out.
       
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