Self employed and conflicted

MissMeegs · December 2013

I am self employed, and for financial reasons not taking maternity leave. I have an old colleague willing to be my backup with clients if necessary (like if I end up in the hospital for a long period, god forbid) but I do not intend to sub-contract my work out and go without pay, because frankly we can't afford it. This sucks, but it's life in the wonderful world of consulting. I'll have full time family help living with us for at least a month post-baby, so I am going to see how it goes and hopefully make it work!

Here's the conundrum: I have the opportunity to get another contract, short term for Jan/Feb. It's probably 10 hours a week (on top of my other work, which currently is about half-time), and the type of work I can do in my sleep. Good money, too, so I am very tempted to just go for it. But is that totally insane? It feels totally insane. DH is pushing me to do it because he's the financial worrywart among us, and he's not wrong, we could use the money since we're going to be paying for daycare when baby is 8 weeks old, and we've had expensive car trouble this month, along with Christmas expenses.

Am I crazy? Will taking on a new project the very month I give birth to a newborn result in a complete nervous breakdown even with all the help from family? If it were any other type of project I'd probably not even think about it, but it's basically "easy money"--if I weren't about to have a baby I wouldn't even hesitate to take it, even if I had 50 hours a week of other work to do.

Also, do I have to tell the new client about basically being 9 months pregnant at the start date of this project? (Right after New Years.) Argh!

Katie&Andy&Kitten · December 2013

If it's easy work and you could use the money, go for it. No sense in worrying about finances AND a newborn.

sunnyplaces · December 2013

That's a tough one. If it's easy work and you need the money, I think it might be worth it but you'll need to evaluate a few things -

Is it a good chunk of cash? Enough that you know it would make an impact?

Will you really be able to moderate the efforts you put into the work - meaning will it truly be easy money or do you tend to delve into the work regardless of how easy or difficult it is?

Is there any grey area - a compromise on timing/fee to make it feel more manageable and not all-or-nothing?

You don't have to answer these here but it's food for thought. Good luck!

MissMeegs · December 2013

Thanks for the food for thought! I think I really could probably handle it, a lot of it is stuff that could theoretically be done at odd hours (writing) when I have the time. I think my biggest concern is whether to let the client know about the pending arrival. I will of course need to go dark for a couple days to actually have the baby even if I could handle the work right after being discharged--and they'll need to know that. Hmm.

Guess we'll wait and see--the project isn't set in stone at this point so I could be worrying for nothing and it will end up not even happening! In the meantime, I'll cross my fingers for a healthy December baby, so the hospital stay won't be an issue! Haha..

ksonne · December 2013

Sorry to sound negative, but I found sleep deprivation in the first few months to be almost debilitating. To wake up every few hours at night for an hour at a time meant that I was on pure survival mode during the day. Something that might have taken 30 minutes would take 2 to 3 times as long. Again, sorry to sound so negative, but it's something to consider.

growingmybun · December 2013

I was going to bring up sleep deprivation as well. My first time around it took me down. Now that I have a child and have lived through lots of night wake ups, I think that I could probably function ok working with a newborn. So, how do you do without sleep?

tesskerr · December 2013

I am in a similar situation. I am due in 3 weeks, and I'm working 70 hours a week as a beauty therapist. I can't help myself!
I am having a week off before baby comes, then about 3 weeks off before I come back very part time (a few afternoons of weddings spray tans etc) then after a total of 6 weeks off, back about 30 hours, then after a total of 10 weeks off ill be back to 50 hours.

It sucks, but I don't have a choice really! You gotta do what you gotta do.

Ibliss · December 2013

You are the only one who can know if you need the extra money but, even if you think you will be ok with working that much, I would error on the conservative side. Like PP said, sleep deprivation can be crippling. And you will probably want to spend a lot of time with your newborn. Those first few weeks can go by so fast and you should cherish those moments. Add the stress of a heavier work load and you might look back and regret not focusing on your newborn more.

LexGator · December 2013

You are living my life.

Yes, it's a bit crazy, but for just 10 hours a week and "easy" work, it is probably doable. I have my own consulting business, and like you, if I don't work, I don't get paid. Even more, I get a lot of referrals from existing clients, so after DD was born, I feared that if I told clients I was on "maternity leave," I was going to lose clients and fast. So, I edited a dissertation like 5 days postpartum when DD napped and nursed, and I continued to work very, very part time from that point forward (maybe 10-15 hours a week). That said, I was very sleep deprived, and the pressure to work definitely added another level of stress to any already stressful time. I definitely wish I didn't need to work, but I didn't think it was financially viable (more for the long term due to my fear of losing clients).

My business has since grown, and I have brought on two additional freelancers who will be taking on the bulk of my work for at least the first few months of 2014. I am only paying them a percentage of the project total, so I will still be bringing money in while on "leave," but obviously less.

Like you, I had a new opportunity arise this month with a new client. It's an ongoing project that would continue deep into 2014. So, I took on the first batch of work and completed it last week. They ended up doubling the pay b/c they were pleased with me and offered me an ongoing gig. I hemmed and hawed over whether to tell them, "Oh by the way, I'm having a baby in two weeks." Ultimately, I did, and I told them I was happy to start the project in February, but I was taking some time off in January to adjust. They could not have been more understanding, so I'm glad I told them.

ach298 · December 2013

I worked freelance when pregnant with DS and for the first year after. I had a project due the day after my due date (which I was able to complete and hand off early) and another project with a somewhat flexible deadline set for six weeks after, which required several hours of work each week but nothing major (less than 10 hours/week I'd say). Honestly, I resented every hour I had to spend on that project after DS was born. The time I had to spend on it was time I wasn't taking care of DS, wasn't catching up on much needed sleep, wasn't taking care of the housework that was piling up and really the main frustration outside of the basic needs/chores of the early newborn days was that I really just wanted to bask in new motherhood and hold my LO and not have to worry about outside things/projects. I wish so much I had said no to that project and just focused on my baby those first few weeks. Emotionally that would have been better for me so my advice would be to not take the job. Give yourself some time to just be a mom. Life intrudes so quickly as it is.

Joansmith1128 · December 2013

I say go for it if imthe work is as easy as u say. Consider your current workload though too. Others are right - everything will take much longer when u r sleep deprived! Ps def tell boss

twobluelines · December 2013

tough decision and obviously one only you can make. You should also consider what the consequences might be on the long term relationship with this client and your reputation if you aren't forthcoming with them and you end up facing a delay of some kind.

csandroo · December 2013

Since you weren't planning on having that money until a few days ago it seems that you were planning on getting by without it ... So I would say not to add the project. The first few weeks of your baby's life are irreplaceable and might be worth more to you to be more present and less stressed than the worth of the income. I'm sure that technically it's doable but if it were me - for my own sanity/enjoyment I would turn down the project.

MissMeegs · December 2013

Thanks everyone. It's really tough, and I am freaking out a little and feeling kind of sorry for myself that I am even in the position of having to choose between bettering our financial situation and having more time to bond with my new baby.

I lost my full time job about a month after finding out I was pregnant. The decision to do consulting was easy, because my old boss was fantastic (she's a one woman operation too, she had three full time employees at the time and made the tough call to cut two of us and go down to one part time employee due to a downturn in her business) and allowed me to take my major client with me when I left. I figured I could make it work consulting until after baby so I didn't have to be searching for a full time job while pregnant.

My old job was pretty lucrative. It's been tough taking the pay cut. I should not feel sorry for myself because even with the paycut I know DH and I are way better off than a LOT of people. But we are "house poor" in that we really need both incomes to cover our bills...particularly our large mortgage. We bought our house not even considering that I wouldn't stay in my very lucrative job.

Free Advice to Potential Homeowners: No matter how much you love the house, if you don't think you could pay the mortgage in the event that you unexpectedly go from dual income to one, then don't buy the house. It sucks, but it's just smart business.

Anyway, thanks for listening, I am pretty emotional today, ugh. I think I'll wait to make the call until I get the official offer. It seems like I will, but since it's not official yet I shall pull a Scarlett O'Hara and just think about it tomorrow. ;-)

nbbride06 · December 2013

It really depends on you, your own recovery, and your baby. But based on my experience having DD, h*%& no. Wouldn't do it unless you can't survive without the money.

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