Well this is awkward

awc1986 · December 2013

I'm stuck at work in a small office and I've just been struck down with a pretty bad case of the runs. The "I have to go immediately or I'll definitely shit myself" kind. The "I can't stand up straight because it hurts" kind. I'm guessing it may be because i had my A/S this morning and she was pretty much massaging my constipated stomach with the wand.

My problem is, I have a 50 minute commute home. I drive alone, so I can pull over in an emergency, but I have a nightmare image of having to take a dump at the side of the road. I don't even want to think about that.

Anyway, the point of this thread is to apologise for judging people who poop at work. I wouldn't say I'm a convert, but there was no way I'd make it home if I held it!

sammy.k · December 2013

I'd sit on the shitter for an hour before I even attempted to go home. I hate that feeling! Hope you feel better soon!

awknyc · December 2013

Next time, keep one of these at your desk. My friend swears by it, I have to go out and get mine as part of my white elephant gift and maybe for myself too.

RachelCA29 · December 2013

That sucks! I hope you can go before you leave and make it home okay! If not, there is always a McDonald's or something around somewhere to stop for a bit. I couldn't imagine getting in the car feeling like that though, it's just terrifying!

I work in a small office too (but with lots of people) and if you can get a washroom (there always seems to be someone on the 2 we have) it's so awkward because everyone knows your are in there and one is right next to people's desk ... they hear things sometimes.

Luckily once a week (Tuesdays!) a bunch of us work at a conference center instead so there are lots of stalls a separate women's washroom, and basically lots of privacy. I always drink real, caffeinated coffee on conference center days, because hey, it's my one chance to actually go, unembarrassed at work. Over-share, but we're all pregnant ladies here ...

busterbeagle · December 2013

LOL!

awc1986 · December 2013

I have courtesy flushed and made sure there is no evidence, as I'm very polite. I even turned the radio on (which we usually have on, but for some reason didn't today). It's obvious it's me though. In this situation, I don't really give a shit. Pun intended.

It seems to have calmed down now, so I might have to dash home while I have the opportunity. I honestly thought I'd be stuck here all night for a moment.

I'll let you know if I make it home successfully!

CamrynnsMommy · December 2013

Ahh, welcome to the "Shitter's full" club!

SweetTea420 · December 2013

I went to a Christmas party Saturday night and whatever I ate did not agree with me at all. I had to stop at a Super Walmart on the way home, it was horrible. Hoping everything settles down by the time you leave work!

tbiscuit18 · December 2013

LOL! I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but I hope you don't mind me laughing at your expense.

I know I've been there and lord knows how painful it is!

RedInLove · December 2013

awknyc said:

Next time, keep one of these at your desk. My friend swears by it, I have to go out and get mine as part of my white elephant gift and maybe for myself too.

Haha! This would go great with the "Maybe You Touched Your Genitals" hand sanitizer in my bathroom!!

awc1986 · December 2013

I'm sure you'll all be delighted to know that I made it home in the nick of time! Had a couple of hairy moments on the way, but just made it in.
Feeling a lot better now too. I was worried about the cramps as I hear that diarrhea with cramps is a sign of preterm labour, but it's all stopped now and my little princess is practicing her Kung fu in there as we speak. I'm confident that it was either something i ate (as it came on so sudden) or the result of having my belly massaged with a wand for about 20 mins this morning.

I'm glad I could brighten so many people's days with my plight.

awc1986 · December 2013

SweetTea420 said:
I went to a Christmas party Saturday night and whatever I ate did not agree with me at all. I had to stop at a Super Walmart on the way home, it was horrible. Hoping everything settles down by the time you leave work!

Ugh those places are just the worst to get caught short in. It has to be "life or death" to dump there. Or "life or shit in pants". You must have been in a bad way!

spinsoffresonance · December 2013

I still judge people who poop at work. Of course the occasional emergency is inevitable, but you really shouldn't be taking daily poops at work, not cool. Especially when our office has a single coed bathroom and you fail to use the air freshener that lives there for that purpose.

sparklingdiamond · December 2013

Aww I hate that!! I hope you feel better soon!

yvanehtnioj · December 2013

lica001 said:

I still judge people who poop at work. Of course the occasional emergency is inevitable, but you really shouldn't be taking daily poops at work, not cool. Especially when our office has a single coed bathroom and you fail to use the air freshener that lives there for that purpose.

Sounds like your co-workers are bad shitters. If they had better bathroom habits it really wouldn't be that big of a deal. You would barely need the air freshener.

awc1986 · December 2013

yvanehtnioj said:

lica001 said:

I still judge people who poop at work. Of course the occasional emergency is inevitable, but you really shouldn't be taking daily poops at work, not cool. Especially when our office has a single coed bathroom and you fail to use the air freshener that lives there for that purpose.

Sounds like your co-workers are bad shitters. If they had better bathroom habits it really wouldn't be that big of a deal. You would barely need the air freshener.

I love that you call them "bad shitters". I have to agree though, when you work in a confined space with only 1, windowless toilet stall then routine, non-emergency poops can be a bit inconsiderate. Especially when you don't get rid of the evidence. By all means, poo as much as you like if i don't have to be subjected to the aftermath. 9 out of 10 times however, I have to deal with the wall of turd heat that hits me when I walk in, then the nice little brown streaks all over the toilet bowl. There's a brush right there people! Use it!

Today I didn't feel that way. Today I would have quite happily shat with the entire office watching me. It just had to be done.

yvanehtnioj · December 2013

awc1986 said:

yvanehtnioj said:

lica001 said:

I still judge people who poop at work. Of course the occasional emergency is inevitable, but you really shouldn't be taking daily poops at work, not cool. Especially when our office has a single coed bathroom and you fail to use the air freshener that lives there for that purpose.

Sounds like your co-workers are bad shitters. If they had better bathroom habits it really wouldn't be that big of a deal. You would barely need the air freshener.

I love that you call them "bad shitters". I have to agree though, when you work in a confined space with only 1, windowless toilet stall then routine, non-emergency poops can be a bit inconsiderate. Especially when you don't get rid of the evidence. By all means, poo as much as you like if i don't have to be subjected to the aftermath. 9 out of 10 times however, I have to deal with the wall of turd heat that hits me when I walk in, then the nice little brown streaks all over the toilet bowl. There's a brush right there people! Use it!

Today I didn't feel that way. Today I would have quite happily shat with the entire office watching me. It just had to be done.

OK your story reminded me of this story: https://jalopnik.com/this-is-the-most-embarrassing-plane-pooping-story-ever-1456846301

Just be glad you weren't on a private jet this morning

Jillzy86 · December 2013

Glad you made it home with out shitting you pants!

ABColeslaw · December 2013

I totally thought I'd commented on this. Guess not. I have severe IBS and get anxiety about long car rides, I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull over and run for the woods. Do what you have to do Mama.

awc1986 · December 2013

ABColeslaw said:

I totally thought I'd commented on this. Guess not. I have severe IBS and get anxiety about long car rides, I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull over and run for the woods. Do what you have to do Mama.

I guess shitting in the woods is somewhat liberating, in a pioneer sort of way? Like pooping how your ancestors pooped? Only with more pain and general desperation about the situation.

I have had an instance pre-preg where i've literally run home, only to have to throw my shorts out in a plastic bag because i was sort of a few seconds off schedule, so to speak. That was food poisoning though. I was scared of that happening today, but i got lucky.

This thread really is a bare-all isn't it?

mrspopsicle · December 2013

That plane story is the worst thing I've ever heard. Nightmares.

AugustGlass · December 2013

ABColeslaw said:
I totally thought I'd commented on this. Guess not. I have severe IBS and get anxiety about long car rides, I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull over and run for the woods. Do what you have to do Mama.

Agreed. I have Crohn's disease, so no judgement here. Emergency situations happen.

Unknown · December 2013

This content has been removed.

ABColeslaw · December 2013

AugustGlass said:

I totally thought I'd commented on this. Guess not. I have severe IBS and get anxiety about long car rides, I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull over and run for the woods. Do what you have to do Mama.
Agreed. I have Crohn's disease, so no judgement here. Emergency situations happen.

I might have crohn's they aren't willing to diagnose it yet, because I have EE which can do similar things to the intestines. Ugh. Honestly, it is a real quality of life killer when it acts up.

AugustGlass · December 2013

ABColeslaw said:

AugustGlass said:

ABColeslaw said:
I totally thought I'd commented on this. Guess not. I have severe IBS and get anxiety about long car rides, I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull over and run for the woods. Do what you have to do Mama.

Agreed. I have Crohn's disease, so no judgement here. Emergency situations happen.

I might have crohn's they aren't willing to diagnose it yet, because I have EE which can do similar things to the intestines. Ugh. Honestly, it is a real quality of life killer when it acts up.

I feel your pain (literally). It took awhile for me to get diagnosed and then much longer to get it under control. No fun. No fun at all.

awc1986 · December 2013

@Carpenter627 - I want to hug you in a "I know that feel" sort of way. My DH knows exactly what happened and has never uttered a word about it since. I like to think the men in black came over and zapped his memory while i was in the shower.

Unknown · December 2013

This content has been removed.

ABColeslaw · December 2013

lol I have a story from when I was pregnant with Asher....but I'm not sure you guys love me enough to hear it.

talkthewholetime · December 2013

RedInLove said:

awknyc said:

Next time, keep one of these at your desk. My friend swears by it, I have to go out and get mine as part of my white elephant gift and maybe for myself too.

Haha! This would go great with the "Maybe You Touched Your Genitals" hand sanitizer in my bathroom!!

Not even kidding, that stuff is AMAZING. We stole some from my MIL maybe a year ago. It works soooo much better than the sprays. And I suppose if you were afraid you'd have to poop at work, it is small and could go in your pocket/bag.

britab · December 2013

ABColeslaw said:

I totally thought I'd commented on this. Guess not. I have severe IBS and get anxiety about long car rides, I can't tell you how many times I've had to pull over and run for the woods. Do what you have to do Mama.

I have IBS and I can't imagine a world where you can wait to crap whenever you want. I also have anxiety about car rides and going any place without a public restroom and of course worrying makes IBS worse....

sisterjanet · December 2013

yvanehtnioj said:

awc1986 said:

yvanehtnioj said:

lica001 said:

I still judge people who poop at work. Of course the occasional emergency is inevitable, but you really shouldn't be taking daily poops at work, not cool. Especially when our office has a single coed bathroom and you fail to use the air freshener that lives there for that purpose.

Sounds like your co-workers are bad shitters. If they had better bathroom habits it really wouldn't be that big of a deal. You would barely need the air freshener.

I love that you call them "bad shitters". I have to agree though, when you work in a confined space with only 1, windowless toilet stall then routine, non-emergency poops can be a bit inconsiderate. Especially when you don't get rid of the evidence. By all means, poo as much as you like if i don't have to be subjected to the aftermath. 9 out of 10 times however, I have to deal with the wall of turd heat that hits me when I walk in, then the nice little brown streaks all over the toilet bowl. There's a brush right there people! Use it!

Today I didn't feel that way. Today I would have quite happily shat with the entire office watching me. It just had to be done.

OK your story reminded me of this story: https://jalopnik.com/this-is-the-most-embarrassing-plane-pooping-story-ever-1456846301

Just be glad you weren't on a private jet this morning

So I often bump at work, like now, and I finally got my composure back from reading that story. I work in the back room of a very quiet library, and I was trying not to make any sound while simultaneously laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. That's the kind of thing that's unspeakably terrible in the moment but completely hilarious later. (like a college friend telling the story of how she became afraid of birds, and all of us including her were laughing like hyenas by the end of it)

ABColeslaw · December 2013

I can't even begin to describe my panic at work when the cramps start. I teach in a k-2 buildings. My students are too young to just up and leave in my office if I have to go....it sucks. Last year I was seriously ready to throw in the towel and just apply for disability so we can still afford Asher's medical food.

skyrockets · December 2013

Yesterday I vomited so hard that I pooped my pants. Then I had to drink all my water for my ultrasound...which I threw up on the way to the clinic. Then again on the way home. Hooray for getting over the stomach flu before Christmas?

kat8805 · December 2013

I have literally shit myself at the barn before. After eating my usual hot wings at BWW, it was time to feed and bring in my horses, so I drove DH's car out to the barn.I was perfectly fine for a fee minutes, and then I was doubled over, legs crossed,body clenched trying so hard not to shit myself. It hadn't been the first time it happened like this, so I tried my usual technique of clenching everything at the bottom and faking out the stuff at the top a bit by releasing my hold. It helps ease the cramps and shifts everything around most times but not that night. I just couldn't control it. So I got my horses fed and grabbed an empty feed bag for the seat on the ride home and told DH as soon as I walked in the door not to look at me. He immediately knew and started laughing.

I would have the very same odd issue every single time we would go shopping at the local outlets. Without fail, 10 minutes in I'm doing the hafta-poo dance whether I had eaten recently or not.

codik86 · December 2013

I get really bad gas before the cramps normally.Sometimes its burping, must of the time its "am I gonna poop my pants or am I gonna fart?!" Then the cramps come and I must find a restroom asap.

Want a personalized experience?

Well this is awkward

Re: Well this is awkward

Choose Another Board

Search Boards