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June 2014 Moms
christinemurray91
member
Your honest opinions (pros and cons) of homeschooling
christinemurray91
member
This is something I never really considered. I have a 2 year old and, of course, am expecting baby number 2. DH and I both had really awful experiences in public school and all of the private schools in our city are out of our range.. even if I went back to work full time (well, maybe baaarely then).
DH and I were both extremely bored in public school and we were both heavily bullied. I took it a lot harder than he did, but we both struggled. I know that bullying rates are lower in private schools, but, again, cost is a big factor.
I only really started looking into homeschooling over the last couple days, because I've noticed DD really loves to learn and picks up things extremely fast. I don't want her to go to school and not be challenged, as DH and I were, and not really get much out of school except wasted time and low self-esteem, lol.
This is all entirely hypothetical, I'm not making a decision now, but I would love to hear all of your opinions, those who have home schooled (or have been home schooled) and those who haven't.
edit: religion also isn't a factor in our choice
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Re: Your honest opinions (pros and cons) of homeschooling
Many people say homeschoolers miss out on the socialization of traditional school. Well, socialization at school is not always a positive influence, so that argument seems pretty weak to me.
As a FTM, I am already starting to think through my plans for education. I hope that practical reasons (like transportation to school) don't force me to enroll my child in my workplace school. For one, I work with all children in the school because I am the media specialist (librarian), so my child would be in my shadow and my student throughout their elementary years. Both DH and I were children of high-ranking police officers, so we know what it is like to be in someone's shadow. Second, I bite my tongue for professionalism in many situations at work, but I would want to feel comfortable advocating for my child as a parent. I like and respect all of my colleagues, but this does not mean I want them to teach my child or agree with all their methods. Finally, our school does pretty well for the challenges we have, but it is not high achieving or the best advantage available. Overall, I am pretty against my child attending my school, BUT in the end it depends on my child's needs and personality. I think homeschool is the same way--it depends on the child. I do not think you should assume your negative experiences will be repeated with your child. In fact, your experiences will probably make you in tune to your child's emotional health in regards to school, which can only benefit you child.
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I was originally against homeschooling until I actually saw adult homeschoolers come through my office at the junior college (I used to work in as a College Counselor). They were different then the other kids. They were articulate, confident, showed tremendous discipline, organizational skills, self-efficacy, motivation and drive. They did very well at the college level and seemed much more equipped to handle the rigors of college.
I also have a background in special education and worked with adults with developmental, learning, and physical disabilities and think the traditional school setting does a great disservice to many of them because it is designed around the collective rather then the individual. Everyone has unique learning style and when we can learn how to learn, then we have mastered the secret to lifelong learning. All too often kids who are not auditory learners get left behind because the mode of delivery in many classes tends to be catered to a certain type of learner.
My goal as a parent is to train my children to become capable, competent and contributing adults. I want them to learn the basics, but I want much more then that. I want them to function and thrive in the competitive culture. I want them to have an intrinsic love of learning that comes from within. I want them to know who they are and what they are capable of. That is why I homeschool. I homeschool because it is a calling. It is something that I feel passionately about. It is something that works really well for our family.
My best advice is to see if there is a homeschool charter in your area. We go to a public homeschool charter and it is the best of all worlds. Two days a week DS1 goes to enrichment classes on campus. He is responsible for getting to his classes (just like in college). They offer Gardening, Spanish, Science, Aeronautical Engineering, Chinese, Book Club, Writing, Poetry, Chess, Sign, Gymnastics, Drama and Choir. Then the school organizes a variety of activities and field trips including special themed days. They can participate in competitive programs offered to all public school students and we are paired with an education coordinator who helps us build our curriculum and offer any help, support, advice that we may need on our journey. The school has a beautiful resource center and parent lounge in which all the materials are available for check out. The Librarian hosts storytime for the prek kids (siblings) and we can use the copier, fax, computers,printers (even a 3d printer) for free. It is all free.
Often the moms (and dads) hang out while the kids are in class and the younger kids play and we chat. Sometimes I drop DS1 off so I can run errands.
Then the rest of the week we do our basics at home which take considerably less time to get through than in a big classroom. We even have Science Sundays facilitated by Papa (DH) who enjoys blowing stuff up to my kid's great delight. We also do learning co-ops with friends and field trips around town for lots of hands on learning.
We really enjoy it. It is not for everyone. It is alot of work but so very rewarding. If you can do it and feel passionately about it then go for it. You will love it. PM if you have more questions.
FWIW, my 2nd grader reads and writes at a 5th grade level (better then some of my college students quite frankly) and it is really neat to see how interested his brothers are to keep up with him. I do have a Master's Degree in Education but I don't think it is a requirement. I think it helps to have some education under your belt, but some of the best HSing mom's have much less than that and are just wonderful teachers.
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My biggest reason is that I believe VERY strongly in public education - wouldn't have made it my career otherwise. I wouldn't allow my children to stay in a school situation where they were miserable, but I don't think school has to be perfect to matter. I know that my children will be successful regardless of environment given what we do at home. I was never really challenged in school and certainly wasn't popular, but I still enjoyed it for the most part and went on to be successful.
I also believe that there's way more to teaching than just having a book or creating some experiences. I do think that some families can successfully homeschool, particularly in the early years, but it's not easy.
I also feel pretty strongly about the social aspect. Yes, homeschool children get socialization but most typically with other children like them. I also wouldn't be comfortable sending my kids to a public school full of kids like them - I want them to interact with kids from all sorts of backgrounds because that's life. So I think homeschooling easily has the potential to be very isolating - and I think many families (although certainly not all) choose it because they do want to create a very particular social environment for their children.
All that said, if my oldest is utterly miserable when he starts public kindergarten in the fall, we would certainly consider other alternatives. I do have concerns about what Common Core will do to schools, but choose to act on that concern by staying engaged in schools as a parent and a professional.
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That being said.....homeschooling is NOT easy!
It takes dedication from the parents and can be very difficult if you dont have a good handle on your kids.
My mother had taught in public schools before she had us. She had a teaching degree and bachelors in English.
My brother and I are very smart and very socially "ept".
We were looked down on by other people because of our homeschooling...having things said about us like some previous posters have said. I have also met homeschooled children that made me wonder the sanity of humanity. But my brother and I had a good experience with it.
Research, support, dedication, schedules and flexibility need to be key. It is not easy and I would not tackle it for anything in the world.
Had I gone to a public school I would have been bullied and probably not been able to take life very well, but I had an awesome teacher/mom that made homeschool fun, tough, and adventuresome. Field trips, library excursions, pe in the park, church activites and community activities helped with social interaction and made the days at home more fun. I did not suffer through bullying or peer pressure. I was a drug free, pregnancy free, alcohol free teenager and its made me a more responsible adult.
I would have never made it through public school and I have to work hard to help my kids through it....but you need to be sure you can do this before you start.
Good luck!
A
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If private school is an option but only if you go back to work, why not? What would you be doing all day while your kids are in school? Sitting at home alone? May as well work! I went to a private school for k-8th grade before switching to a public high school and I found I was leaps and bounds ahead of my peers when I switched.
Do you have the patience to homeschool? I find that I lose patience with my own kids quickly when it comes to academics, because I don't feel like they are trying hard enough. I push my kids hard to excel and this honestly creates a lot of stress and tension between us.
How is the public school in your district? If it's not great is moving an option?
How important are college scholarships going to be to their futures? I have NO idea if scholarships are available to homeschooled kids, I assume for academics they would be, but what about sports?
I guess I just feel like it's a little presumtuous to think that one person can fill the two enormously important roles of teacher and mom. To me, these need to be separate people or you end up in a situation where someone is doing a mediocre job at both instead of being amazing at one or the other.
I have an eighth grader who is transitioning into public school after being homeschooled for her entire education. We do a lot of group/partner work in my class (drama) and I have taken the time to pair her with students I know to be extremely friendly, outgoing and just good, sweet kids. Every time she has had to work with someone else, she literally just sits in silence. Despite everyone's best efforts to engage her (mine and the students') it's like she is unable to communicate with the other kids. She is an extreme example, but I have seen similar behavior in other students who started in homeschool and transitioned to public education.
I plan on being very involved in my child's education and possibly supplementing at home if I feel he/she is not being challenged enough, but I can't see homeschooling my kid (at this time).
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I don't have an education degree, and have been educated in both public and private schools. I probably have no authority to have an opinion on this subject, so take my comment for what it's worth.
I think others on here have made really important points about how we shouldn't assume our child is going to have the same experiences we did. As I was reading through the comments on public vs. private, I found them to be the opposite of my experience. When I switched from private to public schools, I was behind in most things, and there were way more bullies/sexual activity/drug use in the private school than in the public! However as I was thinking about that, I realized that I automatically plan to put my child in public school over private, assuming they will have the same experience I did. That is definitely an idea I need to let go of.
That being said, in my opinion there is nothing more important than socialization including learning to work with others, learning to deal with conflict with peers, acting independently, facing challenges, making friends, collaborating, and even learning our social weaknesses. I just feel like these are the most important skills to have in school, jobs, and life in general. If there was even a chance my child would miss out on some of this through homeschooling, I wouldn't do it. My husband did face a lot of bullying and physical violence attending a public school. His parents reacted to this by putting him in activities and sports outside of the school, and he eventually made friends and came into his own in highschool, overcame the bullying and was made a much stronger and confident person because of leaving that behind him. I understand most people are not so lucky, and it can be very damaging and have longterm consequences. Our plan is to start in public, and adapt based on how they do.
Edit: I also want to include being exposed to diveristy and a variety of opinions, people, conflicting beliefs, and ways of doing things is another one of those really important socialization factors that you may not receive in homeschool.
Neither is only having socialization with your own parents. Kids need to understand that, like it or not, there are different kinds of people in the world with different beliefs, values, etc. -- and that it's OK. When all your developmental input is coming from one or two people, you're going to have a limited view of the world. You just are.
As another poster put it up-thread, imagine if all your instruction on literature came from one person ... you're not going to have a well-rounded grasp of the subject. Same goes for socialization.