B!tchfest Monday

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

After catching up with the posts over the weekend it sounds like this is in order. GIF or no GIF... you choose.

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

I'll start: FU DH. At about 3am LO starts to fuss a little but if my DH gets up and holds him in bed he conks right out again. Well they're all about to go to sleep and DH lets out a mystery snore (one sing loud snore) and LO jumps. And I giggle... it was funny. Fast forward 30 min.s and I go to roll over and DH says to me "Quit moving, you keep waking the baby". Excuse me? I was turning over and the LO is still asleep! So I lay there for another 30 min. trying not to move. And of course when you're trying not to move everything aches and all you want to do is move. So I just got up and went into the guest bedroom. Best 4 hours of sleep in a long time!!!

llybeck · December 2013

We're losing our commission at my job. My baby has a double ear infection that isn't getting better with antibiotics. My anxiety and depression is almost debilitating. I have the worst UTI I've ever had. I have to leave work 2 hours early to take DD and myself to the doctor and I'm getting punished for it. Fiance didn't get a promotion to someone whose only been there half the time and has only 1/4 his efficiencies percentage.

I've never been this upset, frazzled, or bitchy in my entire life.

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

@llybeck takes the cake.

blinnea23 · December 2013

kimberlymacrae said:
@llybeck takes the cake.

I don't even want to complain about anything now

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

@llybeck: Are you seeing someone about your anxiety/depression?

UTIs suck, I am super sorry about that. That's the one thing I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

{{{GROUP HUG}}}

llybeck · December 2013

THANK YOU! Seriously, I feel like everything is falling apart and you all made it at least a little better.

@kimberlymacrae I am going today about the depression/anxiety. I have talked to my doctor before and things were getting better without medication but after I started sobbing uncontrollably in the mall parking lot yesterday while Christmas shopping I realized I need to go back and do something more about this.

wlux · December 2013

I'm with you @llybeck. I called my dr. Today about getting back on a Rx. I thought I could do it all on my own but I need help again. Stay strong.... Thinking about you.

llybeck · December 2013

whitneylux said:
I'm with you @llybeck. I called my dr. Today about getting back on a Rx. I thought I could do it all on my own but I need help again. Stay strong.... Thinking about you.

I'm glad you called, I waited way too long and I feel like I'm just spiraling downward to the point of feeling like I can hardly function. It's really scary to take that first step and admit you can't do it by yourself and that that's okay. I'll be thinking of you too.

JLMcWeeney · December 2013

I just feel like crap today. I'm super crampy, and I have no idea why. Maybe my period is starting. Idk. I feel super tired too. And I have so much to get done before this weekend.

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

Oh yay! I hope your Dr. is amazeballs and gets you the perfect Rx! Seriously that stuff can turn around your mindset in as little as 3 hours. No shame in a little Rx assistance!

I was the same way about my nerve-pain medication. I tried to do it on my own through activity and physical therapy after delivery, but one night I snapped at DH because I was so "uncomfortable" and spent the whole night crying. The next day I went back on my medication and I am able to do so much more and I am much more happy now. There's nothing wrong with needing a little help every once and a while! We have to take care of ourselves as women first so that we are able to be fantastic mommies.

barnratash · December 2013

@ilybeck I am also suffering from a UTI, so I feel you there.

I have been wondering about you for a couple weeks. I'm sorry everything is so shitty right now. I'm glad you're going to get more help. I know its totally cliche, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I have faith in you! Stay strong!

llybeck · December 2013

barnratash said:
@ilybeck I am also suffering from a UTI, so I feel you there.

I have been wondering about you for a couple weeks. I'm sorry everything is so shitty right now. I'm glad you're going to get more help. I know its totally cliche, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. I have faith in you! Stay strong!

Thank you and it's really nice to hear you were thinking about me. Deep down I think I know it will be okay but it's hard to stay positive and I know it's affecting my ability to be a happy interactive mom and fiance. I feel terrible for Eric because I know he is trying and he's getting frustrated too but this just isn't something he can "fix." I'm really thankful I have a place to say this and feel comfortable about saying it, as difficult as it is.

elm005 · December 2013

FU MIL! She is seriously p'ing me off this weekend. She originally told us we didn't need to come to her house for Christmas because she is having work done to try to sell it, so when we planned our trip back to MO we didn't plan for it. Now she wants us to come which means I lose a whole day with my family who I only get to see once or twice a year. And part of my family won't even get to meet X. I made a comment to my photographer cousin who was supposed to take X's 3 mo pics on Facebook about the plan changes and my BIL called MIL and told her so now she is super dramatic about the whole situation and called DH last night. All I said was, we weren't supposed to have to go to Iowa but now we do.

. So now everyone is mad at me and I am once again the bad guy and we won't even get his 3 mo pics taken with all the cousins.

happybride 276 · December 2013

llybeck said:
We're losing our commission at my job. My baby has a double ear infection that isn't getting better with antibiotics. My anxiety and depression is almost debilitating. I have the worst UTI I've ever had. I have to leave work 2 hours early to take DD and myself to the doctor and I'm getting punished for it. Fiance didn't get a promotion to someone whose only been there half the time and has only 1/4 his efficiencies percentage.

I've never been this upset, frazzled, or bitchy in my entire life.

I am so damn sorry this is all happening to you. We have nothing but love for you!!

happybride 276 · December 2013

elm005 said:
FU MIL! She is seriously p'ing me off this weekend. She originally told us we didn't need to come to her house for Christmas because she is having work done to try to sell it, so when we planned our trip back to MO we didn't plan for it. Now she wants us to come which means I lose a whole day with my family who I only get to see once or twice a year. And part of my family won't even get to meet X. I made a comment to my photographer cousin who was supposed to take X's 3 mo pics on Facebook about the plan changes and my BIL called MIL and told her so now she is super dramatic about the whole situation and called DH last night. All I said was, we weren't supposed to have to go to Iowa but now we do. . So now everyone is mad at me and I am once again the bad guy and we won't even get his 3 mo pics taken with all the cousins.

If you know anything about me it's that my MIL is crazy cakes. I am so sorry she is doing this to you. If I were you I would talk to your husband and talk about not going. You can't always accommodate everyone else now. You have a child and you already made plans. Easier said than done, but I would pull the everyone is mad at me and I feel uncomfortable going card (because I would feel uncomfortable)

My bitch is as follows: FU FIL. You are officially as crazy as you fruitcake wife. For those not on the FB page (or didn't see it) he recently asked my husband if I forced him into having a child with him, if he was even ready for a child, and if I forced him so my (now dead) father could see him. WTAF?!?! We have been together for 5 years. We even told his parents we were going to try to have a baby before we got KU. We aren't children. We have our own house and pay our own bills. He needs to keep his alcoholic ass out of our business and try to work on his own damaged marriage. Oh, and FU MIL for trying to watch our son when you are still sick.

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

@twolittlewheels: tell your husband:

AlejandraN2 · December 2013

Wow after reading your guys' posts I don't have anything to add. Just that @llybeckwhitneylux.

elm005 · December 2013

@happybride_276 I wish it were this simple. She totally used a guilt trip on DH about not having enough love in his heart to see his brother for one last Christmas before she moves to FL. (About 5 minutes from us, FML) Problem is, he can't even get to her house before 3:30 or so that day so we will get maybe 2 hours with him and his family before we have to head back so we can get ready to go home the next day. The conversation (huge screaming phone call) ended last night with her telling us not to come and him saying we aren't coming. But I know better, we will end up going and wasting a whole day on going to her house so she can complain about everything that went down. UGH I just want to stay home now. Why does Christmas always have to be so stressful?

imakeeff0rts · December 2013

This isn't nearly as big of a deal as everyone else's but I'm still frustrated and I need too get it out
1. This morning, DS woke up at about 1:20. I feed him, and he fell asleep on me. I tried to pick him up to put him back in his crib, and he started screaming. So, I figured I'd just sleep on the couch with him. Wrong. Every time I fell asleep or even dozed, he'd wake up and start screaming again. so I spent two and a half hours just sitting starting at the wall because every time I breathed wrong, he'd get super angry. At about 4:45, I couldn't take any more so I got DH. He was with DS for five mines and started angrily sushing him. The other day, he put DS down, went outside and punched a wall. I've never seen him as angry as he gets when he didn't know what to do with DS. We both know that his reactions aren't ok, but I'm not sure what to do until he's able to get himself under control. I feel like it has to be all me... but I need to rest at some point and I don't know how to help him with his temper.
2. We're leaving this week to go see our families for Christmas. I have a shit ton of laundry to do for everyone (I'm out of underwear) and DS won't go in his carriers, setting, bouncer, etc. I can't ask DH to help because he's doing a funeral that was supposedly " local". Apparently local to the Army means a six hour round trip. Dumb.

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

@imakeeff0rts: I have had my temper-like moments with DS as well so I kind of (sort of) understand what your DH goes through. The only thing that helps me while I am in the middle of the scenario is to throw on my Beats by Dre (noise cancelling headphones) because I am really sensitive to sound. Afterwards when everything has calmed down I always have a good chat with my DH and get it figured out. I'd just try and figure out his triggers and obvs try and solve them. If he couldn't hear your DS cry do you think he'd get as frustrated?

Also if DS is having a week of a ton of middle of the night wake ups I try and make sure we (adults) have a treat that we can have when we get up. So in an essence it helps a little or I look forward to getting up and going into the kitchen. Whether it's these meat/cheese rolls, little chocolates, a yummy ice cream treat, etc. It helps soften the blow a little.

sunshine2929 · December 2013

juleskeim said:
I wish my husband would realize that we don't have a f'ing money tree. With how he spends money, I've considered starting a secret cash stash because he can't handle having any money. Seriously.

I am with a spender as well. I feel your pain.. ugghh

rachelstauf · December 2013

@imakeeff0rts my husband had wall punching tendencies as well. He saw a therapist once who gave him some ideas to not let his anger take over and to calm himself down and so far we haven't had another issue.

FU DH's boss. He has shorted DH out of 32 hours of pay over two paychecks. When DH asked after the first one, he was yelled at so badly that he's sure he'll be fired if he brings it up again. We desperately need his full paychecks but can't risk him losing his job since I'm being laid off in the next few weeks. Rock and a hard place.

FU step mom. She mentioned last night that she and my dad might be moving 1800 miles away. I pointed at DS and said, you won't have one of these up there! To which she replied "eh, my old step daughter is pregnant so there will be another one up there pretty soon." As if babies are interchangeable and not individuals.

llybeck · December 2013

@whitneylux let me know how your appointment goes, I hope you have a great doctor and come out feeling better. This is a big step and I'm proud of you for doing it.

@twolittlewheels please make an appointment if you feel like you might be having some troubles. It was very hard and I know it can feel overwhelming and I honestly felt some shame but it was the best thing I could have done. I already feel like a little weight was lifted and I don't want you, or anyone, to wait too like like I did. We are all here to support you!

@everyone else, thank you all again SO MUCH. I know this is an internet forum and essentially we are strangers but I can't tell you all how much your kind words meant to me and that they did make a difference. @kimberlymacrae you have given me courage in a few of your posts to be able to go to that appointment today, thank you again.

happybride 276 · December 2013

twolittlewheels said:

happybride 276 said:

My bitch is as follows: FU FIL. You are officially as crazy as you fruitcake wife. For those not on the FB page (or didn't see it) he recently asked my husband if I forced him into having a child with him, if he was even ready for a child, and if I forced him so my (now dead) father could see him. WTAF?!?! We have been together for 5 years. We even told his parents we were going to try to have a baby before we got KU. We aren't children. We have our own house and pay our own bills. He needs to keep his alcoholic ass out of our business and try to work on his own damaged marriage. Oh, and FU MIL for trying to watch our son when you are still sick.

elm005 said:
This is wrong on so many levels! I can't believe you have to put up with that!

Yeah. I am so lucky to have them.

GIFSoup

AbbyMMM said:
@llybeck more hugs sent your way. And cranberry juice!

@happybride_276 excellent use of "WTAF," I think statements like that don't even deserve a response. Or you could suggest that he ask your DH what he thinks about it.

Oh, I wish he would have said it to me. That's the worst part about it. He said it to my husband and I told him I would not confront his father about it. If I could...

GIFSoup

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

@llybeck: You got this girlfriend! (or as Iylana would say "sister woman"). Honestly if you don't get a good vibe from the Dr. you see today go look for another one. I have talked about this exact same thing, PPA/PPD, with a ton of providers. The ones who get it get it, the ones who don't miss the mark 100%! Hope all goes well.

Albertsgirl1982 · December 2013

juleskeim said:
I wish my husband would realize that we don't have a f'ing money tree. With how he spends money, I've considered starting a secret cash stash because he can't handle having any money. Seriously.

Seriously do it!! Start a private account and stash some for you and babies in case of emergency. My sister's finances are a wreck bc of her husband's spending. I wish she had done this. She has two little kids.

kimberlymacrae · December 2013

I am going to disagree with @Albertsgirl1982. I would start by trying to address the problem before becoming all secretive. If my husband found out I was hoarding a secret stash of cash I know his feelings would be really hurt... even if I could justify it. I am married to a spender as well and we always discuss our finances. Money is a touchy subject so I would make sure to over communicate than to go in the opposite secretive direction. Maybe you can still create another account for saving cash but I wouldn't do it without his knowing.

That's just me though...

wlux · December 2013

@llybeck will do. I've had anxiety/depression for the past 7 years and I've been going to therapy the past two with a Rx off and on because we were trying to get pregnant. It was not a big surprise when my anxiety returned after I had LO. Now I know what to look for..... Let me know if you need someone to talk to. Sometimes that helps me more than anything.... Just to talk.

llybeck · December 2013

whitneylux said:
@llybeck will do. I've had anxiety/depression for the past 7 years and I've been going to therapy the past two with a Rx off and on because we were trying to get pregnant. It was not a big surprise when my anxiety returned after I had LO. Now I know what to look for..... Let me know if you need someone to talk to. Sometimes that helps me more than anything.... Just to talk.

Same to you, talking to someone who understands and has gone through or is going through the same thing is huge. It went well today and even though it's frustrating having to take a Rx I know I need to. I had one major episode with depression/anxiety when my sister died 9 years ago and haven't had issues since. I really didn't want to think about it happening again PP but like you, this wasn't a huge surprise to me. I just wanted to think I could do it on my own. I realized there is no shame in asking for help and I know I will be a better mom/fiance because of it.

EllaBelle2010 · December 2013

There are some serious issues some of you ladies are dealing with and I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

So I feel petty bitching about this but I've got to get it out because it's driving me insane!

My cat has been having issues with peeing outside her litter box. We've had her examined to rule out any infection. We've changed her litter, bought a new box, added boxes, clean then daily, etc. Yet she is getting worse! She's peed right in front of me. And now she's peed in the baby's car seat! I'm at my wits end.

jlp0528 · December 2013

EllaBelle2010 said:
There are some serious issues some of you ladies are dealing with and I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

So I feel petty bitching about this but I've got to get it out because it's driving me insane!

My cat has been having issues with peeing outside her litter box. We've had her examined to rule out any infection. We've changed her litter, bought a new box, added boxes, clean then daily, etc. Yet she is getting worse! She's peed right in front of me. And now she's peed in the baby's car seat! I'm at my wits end.

Is she retaliating against the baby? Like jealous issues?

happybride 276 · December 2013

EllaBelle2010 said:
There are some serious issues some of you ladies are dealing with and I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

So I feel petty bitching about this but I've got to get it out because it's driving me insane!

My cat has been having issues with peeing outside her litter box. We've had her examined to rule out any infection. We've changed her litter, bought a new box, added boxes, clean then daily, etc. Yet she is getting worse! She's peed right in front of me. And now she's peed in the baby's car seat! I'm at my wits end.

Cat piss is a disgusting smell. That's a problem.

EllaBelle2010 · December 2013

jpryber0528 said:

There are some serious issues some of you ladies are dealing with and I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you. So I feel petty bitching about this but I've got to get it out because it's driving me insane! My cat has been having issues with peeing outside her litter box. We've had her examined to rule out any infection. We've changed her litter, bought a new box, added boxes, clean then daily, etc. Yet she is getting worse! She's peed right in front of me. And now she's peed in the baby's car seat! I'm at my wits end.
Is she retaliating against the baby? Like jealous issues?

Yes I think thats exactly what the problem is and I don't know how to fix it. I even tried to give her extra love and attention but she won't give up.

Le sigh....

ocnfish4 · December 2013

EllaBelle2010 said:

jpryber0528 said:

EllaBelle2010 said:
There are some serious issues some of you ladies are dealing with and I'm so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

So I feel petty bitching about this but I've got to get it out because it's driving me insane!

My cat has been having issues with peeing outside her litter box. We've had her examined to rule out any infection. We've changed her litter, bought a new box, added boxes, clean then daily, etc. Yet she is getting worse! She's peed right in front of me. And now she's peed in the baby's car seat! I'm at my wits end.
Is she retaliating against the baby? Like jealous issues?

Yes I think thats exactly what the problem is and I don't know how to fix it. I even tried to give her extra love and attention but she won't give up.

Le sigh....

Our cat started doing this when we got a new kitten. Pooping and peeing everywhere. Some days, she would poop twice, one in the litter box and once outside it so we knew it was on purpose. After having our carpets steam cleaned twice, we have her on kitty Prozac. Sounds silly, but it was the vets last hope. And it seems to be working. Knock on wood.

llybeck · December 2013

@ellabelle2010, that's really hard to deal with, it totally sucks. I once had a cat that was so jealous of an ex boyfriend that he would actually push his way between us if we were near each other, he would sit over him and growl at him while bf slept, and then the peeing started. He peed in his shoes, he soaked through layers of jeans he left on the floor, and once just pissed right on him in the middle of the night. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, especially with baby stuff.

I have no advice, I've tried every cleaner, training method, vet visits, etc. Nothing helped or made the smell go away. I eventually just ditched the bf

HBirdie · December 2013

kimberlymacrae said:

I am going to disagree with @Albertsgirl1982. I would start by trying to address the problem before becoming all secretive. If my husband found out I was hoarding a secret stash of cash I know his feelings would be really hurt... even if I could justify it. I am married to a spender as well and we always discuss our finances. Money is a touchy subject so I would make sure to over communicate than to go in the opposite secretive direction. Maybe you can still create another account for saving cash but I wouldn't do it without his knowing.

That's just me though...

Literally exactly what I was going to say. Secrets don't make friends, secrets don't make a good relationship. Better to address the problem at its root and come up with a solution that works for both of you. Start writing down (and make DH write down) every single expense for a month. Add up where your money is going, then come up with a budget. Write down everything that has to be spent in a month (bills) and then come up with categories for money you'd both LIKE to spend. Set a limit and once it's gone, it's gone. I'm the spender in our relationship and I'd be PISSED if DH were addressing a problem in that way. I'd want him to be real with me about our money, not treat me like an out of control child.

bumpuser10024844 · December 2013

HBirdie said:

kimberlymacrae said:

I am going to disagree with @Albertsgirl1982. I would start by trying to address the problem before becoming all secretive. If my husband found out I was hoarding a secret stash of cash I know his feelings would be really hurt... even if I could justify it. I am married to a spender as well and we always discuss our finances. Money is a touchy subject so I would make sure to over communicate than to go in the opposite secretive direction. Maybe you can still create another account for saving cash but I wouldn't do it without his knowing.

That's just me though...

Literally exactly what I was going to say. Secrets don't make friends, secrets don't make a good relationship. Better to address the problem at its root and come up with a solution that works for both of you. Start writing down (and make DH write down) every single expense for a month. Add up where your money is going, then come up with a budget. Write down everything that has to be spent in a month (bills) and then come up with categories for money you'd both LIKE to spend. Set a limit and once it's gone, it's gone. I'm the spender in our relationship and I'd be PISSED if DH were addressing a problem in that way. I'd want him to be real with me about our money, not treat me like an out of control child.

I agree with all of this. Secrets aren't good for marriages.

happybride 276 · December 2013

If secrets aren't good for marriages I am screwed. I hid eating a candy bar from my H many times. And my husband wonders why I look like this:

Kristonita12 · December 2013

happybride 276 said:

If secrets aren't good for marriages I am screwed. I hid eating a candy bar from my H many times. And my husband wonders why I look like this:

oh my gosh, I just about spit my cough drop out at work this is so funny.

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